by J B Heller
Weston’s eyes lit up, “I don’t mind helping,” he said to Finn.
A small smile lifted the side of Finn’s mouth, “Okay. This way,” he gestured with his chin for Weston to follow him and he did.
A couple of hours later I’d finally finished unpacking the kitchen, the thought occurred to me that I should have paid the movers extra and gotten them to unpack for me. I was just reaching up to put the last glass on the shelf by the fridge when the boys came in to the kitchen chatting animatedly between themselves.
Pure, sweet relief filled me. Finn had made a friend, and it was only our first day here.
“Can we have a drink, Tor-ah Mum?” Finn said. He was giving me the eye, the one that said to just go with it . . .
I scrunched my brows, then remembered he wanted people to think I was his real mum. I swallowed past the lump of emotion that clogged my throat, “We’ve only got tap water bud, we’ll have to go grocery shopping tomorrow.”
He nodded, “Oh, yeah, I forgot,” turning to Weston he said, “Sorry, looks like it’s water or nothin.’”
Weston shrugged, “That’s okay. Water’s good.”
Finn smiled widely, “We’ll take two waters please.”
I couldn’t resist ruffling his messy hair, “Comin’ right up.” Then I went about getting them their drinks.
Glancing at my watch I saw it was quarter to five, “When you finish your drink you should go have a quick shower, Finn. We’re going to go over to Weston’s house for dinner soon.”
Weston smiled at Finn, “I have all the Avenger figurines, you want to play when we get to my place?”
Finn eyes widened, “Awesome! I want Thor though, he’s the coolest.”
I cleared my throat, “Forgetting your manners there, Finn. They’re Weston’s toys, you don’t tell him which one you’re going to play with, you ask.”
His cheeks pinked up with embarrassment, “Sorry,” he mumbled to Weston who shook his head, “Nah, it’s okay. I like Captain America the best anyway.”
“Alright, shower now, Finn.” I instructed, then turned to Weston, “Can you head home and let your mum know we’ll be over in half an hour?”
He nodded with vigour, “Okay, see you soon Finn.” Then he ran out the back sliding door.
I walked over to check out how he was getting back into his own yard and saw a gate joining the two yards that I hadn’t noticed before. That would be convenient for the boys.
When Finn got out of the shower and went in search of clean clothes he called out, “Tory, where are my clothes?”
I myself was looking for the boxes of clothes as he called out. “Give me a sec Bud, I’m looking now.” I called back then my eyes landed on a box marked in Finn’s handwriting, labelled ‘Finn’s Threadz.’
Laughing I picked up the box and took it to his room, “Found your threadz.” I teased.
He smiled, “Sounds cooler than clothes.” He said with a shrug as I dropped the box at the end of his bed.
“I’ll make your bed when we get home okay.” I told him over my shoulder as I left his room and went in search once again for my own clothes.
Twenty minutes later we stood on Vera’s porch in a fresh set of clothes, me holding a bottle of wine I found while unpacking the kitchen stuff that afternoon. Couldn’t go wrong with wine, right?
Ten Years Ago . . .
“She’s so pretty!” Weston was saying as the boys sat down at the kitchen counter and waited for their afternoon snack.
“Who’s so pretty?” I asked while getting out the bread and fixings for their sandwiches.
Vera worked until five-thirty most days, so Weston had started coming around our place after school each afternoon instead of going to after school care. I’d make the boys a snack to hold them over until dinner time, then they’d do their homework together before hitting the XBOX.
Finn blushed furiously, “No one,” he muttered.
My eyes lit up, did he have a crush? He hadn’t told me about any girls lately. “Do you have a new girlfriend?” I teased.
He groaned, “Mum!”
Weston laughed, “Carrie Tate asked Finn out today.”
“Oh did she now?” I said, putting the finishing touches on the sandwiches. “And what did you say?” I asked Finn, when he didn’t answer I held his plate hostage, “Tell me or I eat this delicious sandwich.”
“I said no,” he grumbled.
I handed over his plate and watched him dig in as soon as it hit the counter in front of him. “Why’d you say no?” Finn shot Weston a look, one I recognised, “Spill!” I demanded.
Finn shook his head at Weston and glared for good measure, but Weston ignored him. “He likes Kelly Kimmons.”
I gasped, genuinely shocked. “I thought you said Kelly was fourteen?”
Both the boys shrugged, “So?” Weston voiced what they were both thinking.
I scrunched my nose, “But you guys are only twelve. Isn’t that gross? She’s older than you.”
They both cracked up laughing, bits of lettuce sprayed from their still full mouths, “That just means she has bigger boobs.” Finn said when he’d finished laughing, obviously getting over his bout of embarrassment at the subject.
My hands shot up to plug my ears, “Ewww!” I cried, and they continued to laugh as they got up from the counter and took their school bags to the table and started their homework. I shuddered, wasn’t twelve too young to be noticing things like boobs?
I mean, I knew they’d start paying attention to girls soon, but twelve? I thought I had at least two more years before I had to worry about this stuff. I tidied the kitchen while I stewed over this new development. Did this mean we had to have The Talk? God, I hoped not, I wasn’t ready for that.
When Vera got home from work that night I decided a little parental advice was in order.
I waited until the boys retreated to the lounge room to play the newest game I’d gotten for Finn’s XBOX, then broached the topic with Vera. “Have you had The Talk with Weston yet?”
Vera stopped washing the plate in her hands and looked up at me, “The Talk?” she asked with a raised brow.
I nodded, “Yeah, The Talk.”
She slowly rinsed the suds from the plate then put it with the others in the drying rack. After drying her hands she went to the cupboard that stored the wine glasses and pulled two down, then filled them both to the brim. I watched her silently, waiting for her to explain what she was doing.
When she was done she turned to me and handed me a glass. “I think a conversation of this magnitude will require this,” she said gesturing to our nearly overflowing wine glasses, “and it’s probably best to have out of earshot of nosey boys.”
I waved that last part off, “They’re so absorbed in that new game we could be talking about child birth and periods and they wouldn’t notice.”
We glanced in the boys’ direction to check my theory, and sure enough, they hadn’t so much as flinched. They were too focused on the TV screen in front of them.
Vera frowned, “Fair enough, but let’s go outside anyway. I’m paranoid.” She laughed softly and I followed her out the back sliding door to our small patio.
Closing the door behind me, I let out a sigh, “They were talking about boobs today.” I whined, “Boobs! They’re only twelve. Do I need to have The Talk with him already? Because I don’t think I’m ready for that V, I really don’t.” I said as I plonked down in one of the timber outdoor chairs I’d purchased when we bought the house.
Vera sighed too, then took a hefty swig of her wine. “I was afraid this day was coming sooner rather than later. I was hoping Wes’ father would take the lead on this one, but you and I both know that sorry son of a bitch would probably tell the boy to go out and sow his wild oats as much and as often as possible. And I’d end up a grandmother before I’m forty.”
We both laughed, but the reality of the situation was a very real possibility for Vera. Her ex was a grade A arsehole who skipped out on h
er when Weston was just a little baby.
I took a gulp of my wine, “So what am I supposed to say to him?”
Vera shrugged, “I don’t think it’s worth worrying about just yet. I mean, boys will be boys and at this stage they’re just noticing these things. I think we’re still safe for now. Just start thinking about what your parents said to you.”
I cringed, “I was a surprise baby, Mum was mid-fifties when she had me. So I was definitely unexpected. Jacq had the sex talk with me when I was about thirteen, I think. And it went something like- Don’t ever be alone with a boy or he will try to put his penis in your vagina. Then you will get fat and have to push a whole baby out of your teeny tiny vagina.”
Vera burst out laughing, wine spraying out of her mouth all over the patio. “Wow, that was graphic.” She managed to gasp out after she finished choking on her wine.
“No kidding, needless to say I was terrified of being alone with boys until I realised that not every boy in the world wanted to inseminate me.” I said with a smile. I still remember being horrified at the prospect of pushing a whole baby out of my tiny vagina. The thought still made me feel queasy.
Vera continued laughing, “You gotta admit, it was a good method to avoid teen pregnancy.”
I nodded, “Yeah, it was.” I said with a chuckle remembering how I’d freaked out on the first boy who tried to kiss me when I was fourteen. I’d threatened to kick him in the nuts if he even thought about pulling his penis out of his pants.
“Maybe, when the time comes, you should open with a similar line. Something like- Don’t ever be alone with a girl or she will try get in your pants so she can have your baby and you’ll have to watch the baby come out of what you once thought was a special place. And it will ruin all vaginas for you forever.” Vera laughed to herself.
A loud snort was my only response, and hysterical laughter.
Seven Years Ago . . .
“Mum, where are my sunnies?” Finn called out from his room.
“Where you last put them.” I called back from the kitchen where I was finishing up dinner prep for that night.
Finn came stalking down the hallway, “I can’t find them.” He huffed with his hands on his hips. “I’ve looked everywhere!” he said, gesturing to the entire house with his hand.
Smirking at him, I couldn’t help but be a smartarse, “What about the mirror?”
He frowned, “What?”
“Did you look for them in the mirror?” I hedged.
His eyes narrowed, then lit with realisation and embarrassment. He gingerly lifted his hand to feel the top of his head, and sure enough, he found his sunglasses. “Thanks,” he grumbled as he turned away about to head back down the hallway.
“Bit nervous for your first date, huh?” I called after him. It was adorable how jittery he had been all day.
He stopped in his tracks and slowly turned to me, his eyes on the ground. “Do I look okay?” he asked quietly.
I walked towards him and when I reached him I lifted his chin so he was looking at me, even though I didn’t really need to, he had outgrown me six months ago. “Finn, you’re a stud, buddy.” I checked out his outfit, “And a fashionable one at that. Anyone would think you have connections in the clothing industry.” I grinned.
A blush filled his cheeks, “Thanks. It is kinda handy having you manage the surf shop.”
I shrugged, “I had to get the job there. I need the employee discount to afford all the clothes I’ve had to buy you since you started growing so damn fast. Have we measured you recently?”
Finn’s chest puffed out with pride, “Wes measured me in gym yesterday. I’ve hit six feet.”
My eyes bugged out of my head, “Steroids make your package shrink you know. Lay off the juice, dude.”
Finn rolled his eyes at me, but before he could hit me with his own smartarse comment Weston entered through the back sliding door. I looked over my shoulder to him, “Is my boy a stud or what?” I said gesturing to Finn with my chin.
Weston gagged, “I’m not in the habit or checking out my best friend or any dudes, just for the record. But if I did,” he looked Finn up and down, “I suppose he’d do.”
Finn flipped Weston the bird, “I’m a catch and you know it.”
I laughed and left them to their bickering. I wouldn’t admit it to Finn, but I was nervous as hell about his first date. He was taking a girl in his grade to the movies. When he’d asked me if I would drop them off then pick them up afterwards I’d happily agreed, only because I wanted to check her out for myself and make sure she was good enough for my boy. And to make sure she wasn’t a little skank that would try to rub him up during the movie.
In the car on the way to pick her up I decided now was the right time to have, The Talk. “So with this being you’re first date and all I’m obligated to make sure you’re aware of sex and all that it entails.”
Finn choked on his chewing gum, “MUM!” he yelled, looking at me like I’d grown a second head.
“What?” I asked, “Don’t tell me you didn’t see this conversation coming, Finn.” I shot back.
His face was bright red, his ears too, and he started to pick at his fingernails. “I’m not going to have sex with her, we’re going to the movies not a hotel.”
I snorted, “You don’t have to go to a hotel to have sex. Besides, that’s not what I’m saying. I’m just making sure you know the ins and outs of it and I want you to know you can talk to me about this stuff. You can ask me anything you want, anytime. Okay? That’s all I’m saying.”
He nodded and looked out the window, “Yeah, I know. And I will, when I’m ready. But I’m not ready yet. I haven’t even kissed a girl. One step at a time, okay?”
Relief flooded my system, he wasn’t thinking about having sex yet. I sent a silent prayer up thanking god. “Okay.” I said back softly and left the topic there.
To my utter surprise the girl he was going out with was a geek. Like, a glasses wearing, braces on teeth, double braids, and mismatching socks kind of geek. I’d honestly be shocked if she didn’t have at least one book in that bag she was carrying.
I liked her instantly.
I waited in the car while Finn went and knocked on the front door of her house and spoke to her father. I could tell he was nervous, he kept his eyes down, and nodded a lot. Then the girl came to the door, kissed her father on the cheek and took Finn’s outstretched hand then left her father standing in the open doorway with a scowl on his face.
I felt for the guy, I really did. But seeing the smile on Finn’s face made everything going on inside of me settle.
Finn opted to sit in the backseat with his date, making me feel like a chauffeur.
“Mum, this is Nixie. Nixie, this is my mum, Tory.” Finn introduced us as I drove.
I glanced at them in the rear view mirror, “Nice to meet you Nixie.” She was blushing furiously, but the smile on her face matched Finn’s.
“Nice to meet you too, Tory.” She whispered back.
They spoke quietly between themselves for the remainder of the ten minute drive to the cinema. When I pulled up out front I handed Finn a fifty, “Get all the good stuff, lots of chocolate, chicks love chocolate.” I winked, and Finn laughed.
“Thanks Mum, the movie finishes in two hours. So we’ll just meet you out here yeah?”
I nodded, “Have fun. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” I called as he closed the door on my words.
As soon as they were on the sidewalk, a tear slid down my cheek, he was growing up so fast. I wished Jacq was here to see what an amazing young man he had become. She would have been so proud of him.
Over the next few weeks I saw a lot of Nixie. She started walking home from school with the boys and doing her homework with them in the afternoons. Then she’d have a cup of tea with me and talk about whatever new book she had picked up at the library.
I really liked her, she was a lovely girl. I was still surprised that out of all the girls I knew were after
Finn, he’d chosen Nixie. She was pretty, but not in the typical way. It made my heart fill with pride that Finn could see past the superficial to see how truly beautiful she was. She was outgoing, but not over confident. And best of all, she looked at Finn like the sun rose and set with him.
They’d been dating for about three months when I learned that the other girls at school had been hassling Nixie because of her relationship with Finn. She wasn’t popular, and didn’t fit in with any of the cliques. Their relationship defied the age old high school rules about popular kids only dating other popular kids.
Finn was popular, he and Weston practically ruled their grade. I don’t know how they did it, but they did. They were both key players on the football team, so I suspected that and their good looks were the reason behind their popularity.
And I wasn’t just being biased, Finn was a really good looking kid, Weston too. And the girls at their school noticed. Weston loved the attention, but Finn wasn’t such a fan.
Poor Nixie had broken up with Finn when things got too much for her to deal with from the other girls. Finn had been devastated, he had no idea she was being tormented on a daily basis because of him. Kids could be cruel. And even though Finn didn’t like it, he let Nixie walk away.
That afternoon when Finn came home I could feel the change in him before he uttered a single word. “What happened Finn?” I asked when he came inside and flopped down on the couch without greeting me like he usually did.
He stretched out along the couch and threw his arm over his eyes. “Nixie won’t be coming around anymore. I’m sorry. I know you liked her.”
I frowned, “What’s going on, Finn?” A shuddering sigh escaped him, and I sat on the edge of the couch and lifted his arm off his face to see tears had gathered in the corners of his eyes. I hadn’t seen him cry in years.
His Adam’s apple bobbed, “She broke up with me.” A single tear slid down his cheek.
My heart broke for him. I was every bit as broken up by the news as he was. “Oh Finn,” I said as I laid my head down on his chest and wrapped my arms around him. “I’m so, so sorry honey.”
