by Alexx Andria
“And what are we celebrating?” I asked.
“Our new life together.”
“I haven’t agreed to becoming your partner in anything,” I reminded him. “In my mind, you are my brother. It doesn’t matter that you’ve known all along that we aren’t related. For me, it’s different. I’m still coming to terms with that.”
Butcher was displeased but he didn’t push. “Fine. Then we shall celebrate, new beginnings,” he amended and I allowed that one, only because I was picturing a new beginning with Cason.
What would it be like to actually hold hands in public, I wondered, swirling the wine, content to lose myself in a nice daydream. But Butcher wanted my sole attention.
“I realized I needed to share with you my plans if you’re going to be my most trusted ally,” he said.
“Plans?”
“Yes. Some time ago, I discovered that with money doesn’t always come respectability. I want the Brannon name to mean more than just an association with the Ice Town Rebels.”
“That seems a tall order,” I returned cautiously. “How do you propose to do that?”
“Politics,” he answered as if it were obvious. “Politicians are just criminals participating in sanctioned crimes and no one questions. It’s accepted that politicians have to color outside the rules because the rules don’t apply. That’s when I realized, I had to start thinking bigger. I wanted what had been denied me to this point.”
I wisely remained silent so he could continue without interruption. I even pretended to be intrigued by his admission, which I knew would only cause him to share more.
Then Butcher shocked me by saying, “It’s because of you, Holly, that I want a different life.”
“Me?”
“Yes,” he risked my rejection by reaching for my hand. “From the moment I saw you, I knew you deserved the best in life. And I knew only I could give it to you. But in order to do that, I had to make changes. That’s why I wanted you to have a top-notch education. Your degree is from a respected university. With you by my side, you’ll help soften the image of me, help transform me into the man that people want to vote for.”
His surprisingly earnest admission caught me off guard. I saw a man with an impossible goal, trying to strong-arm people to his will.
But at his core, he was a man yearning for something he’d never have.
I didn’t want to, but I could identify with that need.
Hadn’t I suffered the same suffocating desire as I watched everyone around me live a life I could only dream of having? I wasn’t the one invited to parties, wasn’t the one who attracted attention in a crowded room, certainly wasn’t the one the quarterback had eyes for.
I’d resigned myself to a life half-lived in reality and only fully realized between the pages of a book.
Until Cason.
My most unlikely of heroes.
Butcher mistook my tremulous smile and gripped my hand more tightly. “I knew you would understand. We’re two peas in a pod, sweetheart. I knew it from the moment I looked into your eyes, I knew you were meant to be mine. You have no idea how long I’ve waited to make you a true Brannon.”
I held his gaze, allowing him to hold my hand. “What’s my mother’s name?” I asked, breaking the spell. Butcher drew back with a sudden frown. “I need to know who my mother was if I’m going to say goodbye to the past and embrace the future.”
Butcher fell back in his chair, his frowning deepening. “What difference does it make who you were? You’ve been a Brannon for as long as you can remember.”
“I have to know. Please.”
But the earnest hope that’d softened Butcher only moments ago had fled, leaving behind the hard man he’d always been. “I don’t remember her name,” he said, watching as our server brought the duck course. “She was nothing to me. All that mattered was you. I gave you my name and that was that.”
Disappointment sharpened my tone as I said, “I can’t move forward until I know more about her. She was my only family.”
“I am your family,” he roared, slamming his fist on the table, causing the silverware to bounce.
I stiffened, breathing through the sudden erratic beat of my heart. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing he’d startled me. “I won’t be yelled at,” I warned, reaching for my wine glass. “If I’m to be your partner, we have to start treating one another with respect. This is not how we start.”
“You’re pushing my limits, girl,” he shot back as I sipped my wine with more calm than I felt.
I glared as I replaced my glass. “Don’t call me a girl if you’re hoping to change this relationship,” I told him, rising as I tossed my napkin on the table. “Excuse me, I’m no longer hungry.” I turned to leave but his hard grip on my arm prevented me from going far. He pulled me toward him and I stumbled, trying to resist. “What are you doing?” I asked, my voice going a little shrill. “Let go of me.”
“Prove yourself loyal to me, Holly,” he said roughly. “Kiss me.”
Kiss him? I would rather die.
Butcher’s gaze narrowed at my stubborn silence.
“Prove to me that you are truly loyal to me and I will grant you whatever you like,” he said, dangling the promise before me.
“How will a kiss prove anything?” I dared, hoping I didn’t completely lose it with fear.
“Because it will show me that you are willing to embrace this new arrangement between us. It’ll show me, I’m not wasting my time.”
I swallowed.
There was no getting out of this one. Butcher needed me to assure him and I didn’t have many options. Perhaps a kiss would be enough to sate him until Cason could rescue me.
But the idea of kissing my brother…or the guy who I used to think of as my brother…was as nasty as asking me to lick a New York sidewalk on a hot summer day.
“Fine,” I said in a choked voice. “Kiss me and be done with it. I’m finished with this stupid conversation.”
That was all the encouragement Butcher needed.
He yanked me into his arms and shoved his tongue into my mouth. The sudden intrusion of that wet thing, smelling of wine and stale cigars, made me want to thrash and kick just to get away.
But I allowed the violation, closing my eyes, pretending it was Cason kissing me instead of Butcher.
Tears sprung to my eyes as I suffered the sense that I was betraying the man I loved but there was no getting around it.
Bold as fuck, Butcher reached up and squeezed my breast hard as he continued to plunder my mouth. I yelped and tried to move away but Butcher enjoyed my distress.
“You had your kiss,” I tried pulling away from him but his grip was like iron on my wrist. “Let go!”
But Butcher rose, his eyes darkening with lust. “I’ve changed my mind,” he decided. “You’re my woman and it’s time you start acting like it.”
What did that mean?
I didn’t have long to wonder.
Butcher dragged me to his bedroom and locked us inside.
“Help!” I shouted as he shoved me away from the door. I stumbled but held my feet. “Don’t do this,” I said, trying to talk some sense into him but he was like a raging bull with a mega dose of testosterone flushing through his veins.
“I’ve waited so long, Holly,” he said as if that excused what he was about to do. “Do you know how hard it was to pretend that I didn’t love you?’
“You don’t rape someone you love,” I said, my voice shaking. “This isn’t the way to my heart.”
“You’ll come around,” he assured me as he started undressing. I held back the squeak of alarm as he got down to his underwear. A bulge in his briefs told an easy enough story to grasp.
I felt ill.
I tried to dart past him but he was faster than he appeared, catching me easily and seeming to enjoy the chase. He held me tight, in spite of my struggles, his grip didn’t waver. “I used to dream about you, about this night. Are you still untouched, sweeth
eart?” He saved me the trouble of answering. “I know you are. No boyfriends, no social life. Just the safety of dusty old books. That makes me so happy.”
I wanted to blurt that Cason had taken my virginity and I was glad it wasn’t going to be him but I didn’t know how that information would blow up in my face.
I knew Butcher was violent with women. I’d seen the way he’d cuffed his secretary when she’d displeased him. I saw the way she watched him fearfully as if she knew he held her life in his greasy palm. Why hadn’t I ever tried to help her get away?
Butcher ripped at my dress, the filmy material shredding like tissue paper, exposing my breasts and stomach. I yelped and kicked but Butcher was too strong.
He forced me to my knees, gripping my jaw hard. “I want to watch you suck my cock. I’ve dreamed of this moment for so long.”
“If you put that thing near me I’ll bite it off,” I said, blinking back tears.
“You will obey me!” My head flung back as Butcher landed a hard slap. I saw stars and nearly lost my footing. I didn’t have time to scramble away before Butcher pushed a semi-hard dick toward my mouth.
But before I could react, Butcher grunted and fell forward, his eyes rolling up into his head as he landed on the carpet, a large red stain forming where Cason had clocked him with the butt of his gun.
Cason, my knight in shining armor, was there, gun in hand, eyes blazing.
“Cason!” I jumped into his arms and clung for dear life, half-sobbing and half jabbering, just so relieved he was there. “I was so scared! If you hadn’t….oh God, Cason, he tried to make me….” I buried my face in his chest, losing my ability to stop babbling.
“Shhhh, baby,” he crooned, smoothing my hair as he tried to calm my blubbering. “I’m here. He’s never going to touch you again.”
But then my head shot up as I realized we weren’t safe, not by a long shot.
“Cason, we have to get out of here before he wakes up,” I urged, gripping his hand and trying to pull him away but Cason had other plans.
“Not before I get that book,” he said. “Everything we need to put that sack of shit away is in a small black book. We get that, we’re home free, baby.”
Chapter 34
Cason
I wanted to murder Butcher.
The plan had been to hide in the closet until Butcher went to sleep but then he’d come into the bedroom, dragging Holly and I’d nearly lost it.
I wanted to obliterate his face with bullets for daring to touch my girl but I knew killing him would only give him the quick death he didn’t deserve.
I wanted him to rot in prison, getting ass raped by men ten times his size, and forced to dance to someone else’s tune for what he’d done to my sister and Shay.
And now, for what he’d done to Holly.
“Baby, we need to find a book. It’s always with him. Help me find it,” I told her as I started to ransack the room.
Holly quickly found a shirt and pulled it on, covering herself, then began ruffling through drawers and closets.
Johnny said Butcher kept it with him at all times. I spied the discarded clothing in a heap and went to the jacket, searching the interior pocket.
My fingers found a soft-bound book, small enough to fit in my palm and pulled it out. I leafed through it with trembling hands, not wanting to celebrate too quickly.
But when I saw names and dollar amounts attached to each one, I knew I’d found what I was looking for.
I turned to motion to Holly but she was already running to me, clutching me tightly.
“Kiss me, Cason,” she begged, tears streaming down her beautiful face. “He forced me to kiss him. I need to taste of him out of my mouth.”
She didn’t need to say more. I drank in her kiss, holding her tight against me, so relieved she was okay but also consumed with murderous rage that Butcher had dared to touch my woman.
Holly was mine and I’d kill anyone who thought otherwise.
She was my queen, not his captive.
I kissed her hard, showing her with the force of my mouth that she needn’t fear when I was there to protect her. I’d never let anyone harm her again and that was a solemn vow I made in the blood and tears of my soul.
In a haze of desire, I reluctantly broke the kiss, knowing we didn’t have the luxury of indulging in our passion, not until I knew she was truly safe.
I started to say, “We need to—“ but I was cut short as Holly screamed and crumpled in my arms, a large red splotch spreading angrily across her belly.
“Did you think I would let you have her?” Butcher asked, the gun smoking in his hand. He must’ve had a gun hidden under the bed, I realized, stunned as I slowly went to the floor with Holly. “She was mine, you son-of-a-bitch.” Tears sparkled in his eyes as if he were genuinely broken hearted to have pulled the trigger. “You did this,” he told me, pointing the gun at me. “Now you get to die with her.”
I had nothing to lose now.
Holly was dead.
Gunfire erupted outside the house and I knew Tito was taking care of the security detail but I was going to die in this room.
Butcher narrowed his gaze at me. “Who the fuck are you?”
I stared with white-hot rage. “You killed my sister’s best friend, Shay Trunnel and then you shot my sister, Christine.” And now, Holly. FUCK! The howl in my heart nearly shattered my mind but I wanted to be clearheaded when the final moment came.
“Shay….” Butcher repeated the name as if he didn’t recall, then grinned, wiping at the blood dripping from his head with his free hand, saying, “Yeah, I remember her. Vaguely. Was she worth dying for?”
Yes.
I remained silent.
“I ought to keep you alive just to make you my personal fuck-boy,” he said, his hard eyes glittering. “I have a thing for nice tight assholes. I like ripping them open. How tight is your ass, boy?”
That fucking arrogance got to me. He knew he’d won and he was flaunting it in my face. I couldn’t take it. If I was going to die, I was going to go down swinging.
With a roar, I leaped at Butcher, startling him as I tackled, knocking his unwieldy body to the ground as we scrabbled for the his gun.
I couldn’t reach my own gun without letting go of Butcher and I was doing all I could to keep him from getting another shot off.
I buried my knee in his fleshy, old-man nuts and he groaned with the pain. Rolling away, I reached behind me and managed to grab my gun, wasting no time in popping off a shot right in his fucking face.
Butcher splattered everywhere, bits and pieces of the fucker landed on every surface and still I wanted him alive so I could shoot him again.
I returned to Holly and cradled her softly, crying as I held everything of value in my arms.
Then, I realized she was still breathing. Shallow as fuck, but breathing.
The bullet must’ve missed a major artery, I realized wildly, calling Tito.
“Yeah?” Tito shouted above the gunfire. “You got the book?”
“Holly’s been shot,” I shouted back, my hands covered in her blood as I tried to apply pressure to the wound. “We have to get her out of here!”
“On my way,” he said and clicked off.
I held Holly, praying for a miracle even though I didn’t deserve one. I couldn’t lose her when I’d only just found her.
Time ceased to matter as I held her close. I would follow her to the grave if she didn’t make it.
I had nothing left to cling to.
Chapter 35
Holly
I awoke to the steady blip of monitors. My eyes fluttered open, sticking as if they were partially taped shut.
I focused my blurry vision and found myself in a hospital, alive.
The last thing I remembered was the mother of all pain ripping through my stomach as I slid to the ground in a heap, quickly losing consciousness.
Panic spread through me as awareness became crystal clear. I’d been shot.
&n
bsp; Butcher had shot me.
What if…what if I’d been pregnant? Was I still pregnant? I blinked as tears squeezed from my eyes. Where was Cason? “Cason,” I called out, my voice rusty and scratchy like I’d smoked ten packs a day since I was twelve. “Cason?”
And then he appeared, a styrofoam cup in his hand, his eyes bloodshot from lack of sleep.
“Holly,” he exclaimed, dumping the coffee in the trash without a second thought, coming straight to me. The tears were immediate for us both. I couldn’t quite manage words just yet but I asked him silently when I needed to know.
Cason’s sorrow reflected in his soulful eyes and I knew that I’d been pregnant…but I wasn’t any longer.
“What happened?” I asked, my throat tight with unshed tears.
“Butcher shot you in the stomach. You were early in the pregnancy. The doctor said that the bullet ripped through the amniotic sac and killed what would’ve been our baby.”
My brain was sluggish but I did the math. I’d been barely pregnant, a cluster of cells had begun to form in my womb. And yet, the sadness was nearly unbearable.
Our baby had died because of Butcher.
I looked to Cason and I could tell his heart was breaking for me.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
“For what?” he asked as if I were crazy. “Babe, you were shot and nearly killed by a sociopath. You have nothing to apologize for.”
“Our baby died because of me,” I said, a painful hiccup pulling at the stitches holding my guts together. I covered my face with my hands, unable to look him in the eyes. How could he forgive me? I would never forgive myself.
But Cason wouldn’t let me shoulder the blame. With a firm but gentle hand, he pulled my hands away to pin me with his gaze. I saw love and acceptance, but not an ounce of blame.
“Holly…when I thought you were dead…my world ended,” he admitted, causing my heart to flutter as tears started fresh. “I’ve spent the last three days sitting by your side, praying you would wake up. I prayed that God would wake Christine but he never did. Somehow, for reasons I can’t understand but I’m so thankful, you woke up. You survived. And I’m never going to let a day go by that you don’t know how much I need you in my life.”
