It smelt nasty and burnt him. He plunged into the cold snow and rolled, but that did no good. He dashed home to Grace.
Grace tried so hard with the kittens’ help to wash her dear husband clean, but the paraffin nearly suffocated her and burnt her poor tongue terribly.
At dawn, after a restless night, Orlando crept out of the house feeling uncomfortable and miserable.
All day Grace waited for him to return. By tea time she was frantic.
‘Oh my beloved husband!’ she cried. ‘What has happened to you?’
The kittens helped her to search the house and then the garden. Snow had covered Orlando’s footprints and it was bitterly cold. The kittens wore their muffs.
Not a bird dared open its beak for fear of a frozen tongue.
Blanche, the white kitten, set out across the white lawn; Pansy, the tortoiseshell one, climbed up the black and white trees for a better view, while Tinkle pushed his way into the pampas grass. Grace called loudly for Orlando, her voice rang out clearly in the silence.
Suddenly Tinkle found the tip of a pink snake. Very cautiously he patted it. It twitched but did him no harm; he sniffed along it until he came to – Orlando sitting on the other end! The snake was Orlando’s tail!
Poor Orlando, he was quite bald from his waist to the tip of his tail; the paraffin had taken off all his fur.
He hissed at Tinkle and crept further into the frosty bushes. Tinkle was frightened and called his mother.
Orlando told them he was sorry for being cross with Tinkle, but they must leave him, for he could not bear to be seen like this.
‘We’ll never leave you!’ said Grace firmly. ‘Don’t stare at your father,’ she told the kittens who had gathered round. ‘He is unhappy. We must think of a way to get him home without being seen by the neighbours.’
‘Let’s make him a Modesty Awning to hide him on his way back,’ suggested Pansy.
Pansy told them how to make one. The kittens collected moss, dead leaves and twigs which Grace stitched on to a white towel. It looked just like the snowy landscape; they draped it over Grace’s ironing board and carried it on their heads to where Orlando lay shivering.
‘We’ll hold this over you while you walk home,’ Grace explained to him, ‘and nobody will see you.’
The strange little procession reached home unseen, and Grace put Orlando to bed with a Hot Wartle (Tinkle’s name for a hot water bottle). She gave him a bowl of warm haddock milk.
‘I’ll knit you a pair of pyjama trousers so like your own fur that nobody will see the difference,’ said Grace. ‘I know your stripes by heart.’
Mr Pusey came to enquire after Orlando, who showed him the damage done by the paraffin. Mr Pusey was very upset and pursed up his mouth like a spout; he promised not to tell the neighbours how queer Orlando looked. Every day he came and played Snakes and Ladders with Orlando, to help him to pass the time till the pyjamas were ready.
The kittens loved Mr Pusey. Blanche and Pansy felt sorry for the old man who lived out of doors in all weathers. They washed his hands for him, and tidied his eyebrows.
‘Daughters are surely a great blessing, Madam,’ he said to Grace.
Tinkle rummaged among the bits of cheese and toffee papers in Mr Pusey’s pocket. He purred loudly and sang:
‘I love little Pusey
His coat is so warm.’
Towards evening Mr Pusey had to go back to his work. Lanterns must be lit and placed round the hole in the road to prevent people from falling into it in the dark.
Orlando grew weary with lying in bed and was terribly afraid that he would be bald for life.
Grace was too busy knitting the pyjamas to entertain him, but the kittens did their best.
‘We’re going to tell you our dreams, every day,’ Tinkle told him. ‘Blanche’ll begin, then Pansy next. Mine’s much the best one so you’d better hear it last.’
‘I dramp,’ began Blanche, ‘that I had a dear little balloon which floated me up to Birds’ Heaven. I was given a drink of magic milk which stopped me wanting to eat the bird-angels. They taught me how to fly, and I had Angel cake for elevenses. One day a darling little girl egg was laid, and I was afraid she’d fall to earth and be smashed. But she grew wings just in time, and then I woke up. D’you like my dream?’ she asked Orlando anxiously. Orlando did, very much.
Pansy continued: ‘I dreempt I was two kittens, a black one at night and a ginger one by day. Each of me had nine lives, so I had eighteen altogether. I got twice as much to eat because they thought I was two kittens. But I got in a muddle and the black one came out in the daytime, and they said, “We fed her last night so she doesn’t want another meal now.” So I decided to wake up.’
‘Now it’s MY turn!’ said Tinkle. ‘I drump I had a lorry-load of ice-cream – that’s all, and can I have a shilling please?’ he asked Orlando.
‘You can have tuppence,’ said Orlando, smiling.
‘Huh. That’s not much to help me on my grown-up way,’ grumbled Tinkle.
The dreams were soon told and Orlando began to worry about himself again.
Tinkle was sorry for him, and ashamed of grumbling: he wanted to please Orlando more than ever.
‘Tell us a story of your yoof,’ he suggested, for he knew that people liked nothing better than to talk about themselves.
‘A story of my youth?’ replied Orlando. ‘Well, if you bring me the family photograph album, the pictures will remind me of things.’
Orlando turned to the first page, and the kittens gathered round.
‘Here is my Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Aunt Caterina in the bicycling bloomers that were the fashion in those days. And here is Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Uncle Tom with his hounds and his hunter, in front of his country mansion . . . Aha!’ laughed Orlando, already cheering up. ‘Here I am as a baby lying on a fur rug.
‘This is my school football team with me in the centre. Here I am with the prize I won for my essay called “Man, the Animal”.’
Orlando passed over the next page, but Pansy made him turn back to it. ‘Whose picture is that?’ she asked.
‘That?’ answered Orlando vaguely. ‘Oh, just a girl called Queenie.’
‘Let me see too!’ cried Grace. ‘Oh, what lovely whiskers she has, and what a beautiful hat . . .’
Grace felt sad, and ashamed of her homely apron.
‘Fine clothes and false whiskers don’t always make good wives,’ said Orlando. ‘Your speckled whiskers are very pretty, darling, and nobody dresses as wonderfully as you.
‘Now, kittens, here’s your Mother, when I first met her. It was during winter sports and she was trying to teach herself to ski. Naturally I helped her, and we’ve helped each other ever since in every kind of way.
‘I was a naughty kitten sometimes,’ Orlando continued, closing the album. ‘Once I rubbed some mustard on my nose to make it red and look as though I had a cold. Mother kept me at home from school for two lovely days, which was just what I wanted.
‘One day Mother gave a tea party for all her lady friends. They were so stiff and polite that I locked them in the drawing room, and they had to climb out through the window. I laughed so much that I felt quite good for a long time after.’
Orlando fell asleep, happier than he had been for a long time.
‘That was a good idea of yours, Tinkle,’ whispered Grace.
By the time Orlando woke up, the moon had risen and the pyjamas were finished; Blanche and Pansy had fluffed up the wool to make it look like real fur.
‘Now Queenie would never have made these!’ exclaimed Orlando delightedly. ‘Only you, dear Grace. I’ll put them on and we’ll all go for a walk.’
The pyjamas fitted him perfectly; it was impossible to see where they began, and he ended.
The cats visited Mr Pusey, who thought Orlando’s fur had grown again.
‘Oo, how glad Oi be to zee you!’ he said. ‘Have a sausage to wipe out all sad remembrances, and a drink of tea to wash away cruel ha
ppenings!’
Orlando explained the pyjamas to him, but Mr Pusey insisted that they should eat a sausage, ‘to bolster up hope,’ he said, ‘and drink some tea, for as rain causes grass to grow, maybe it’ll make fur sprout.’
On the way home they met a dog. All their fur stood on end except where Orlando wore his pyjamas. The dog laughed at this and made rude remarks. The cats hurried by in confusion.
The time came when Grace wanted to wash the pyjamas. Sadly Orlando went back to bed and took them off. To his surprise, instead of finding his naked flesh, there appeared to be another pair of pyjamas covering him.
‘How clever of you, Grace, to have made a lining . . . I needn’t stay in bed after all!’
‘A lining?’ replied Grace, puzzled. ‘That’s no lining,’ she cried with delight, ‘that’s your own fur which has grown at last!’
The cats were too happy to speak; they purred loudly until they sneezed.
Orlando decided to present the pyjamas to the Anti-Fur-Trappers’ League for their museum to show people how lovely imitation fur can be.
The Presentation of the Invisible Pyjamas took place in the Town Hall, and the building was crowded. There were long and eloquent speeches, during which Orlando and Grace sat modestly in the limelight.
On the way home the cats met the rude dog again, but when he saw the whole of Orlando’s fur rise on end, he ran off quickly on a pretend errand.
‘All’s well, when ends are well,’ said Tinkle with a grin.
SOFFRONA AND HER CAT MUFF
by Mary Martha Sherwood
This is a very old-fashioned story because it was written nearly two hundred years ago. At first glance it seems a little quaint, especially when the author starts quoting passages from the Bible. Mrs Sherwood is like a very strict teacher, keen to give a moral message and tell children how to behave. You might find this a bit off-putting, but she’s actually a very good story-teller too. Soffrona is a very real little girl – she’s desperate to make the rescued kitten her special cat and she gets irritated with Jane, the servant, who says in exasperation, ‘You can think of nothing but cats.’ If you can think of nothing but cats, then I think you’ll like this story.
SOFFRONA AND HER CAT MUFF
Little Soffrona lived with a lady who loved her very much. She was not the lady’s own child, but she was as dear to that lady as if she had been so, and the child always called her mamma. The lady had a little girl of her own called Sophia. Sophia was one year older than Soffrona; and Sophia and Soffrona learned lessons together, and played together, and were very happy in each other’s company. When you saw Soffrona, you might be sure Sophia was not very far off; and when you saw Sophia, it was very certain that Soffrona was at no great distance.
How delightful it is for little children to live in love and peace one with another! Hear what David says on this subject – Behold, how good and pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity! (Psalm. 133:1)
Soffrona and Sophia lived in a very lovely house, surrounded with woods. Wherever you looked from the windows of that house, you might see trees growing thickly together, forming beautiful arbours, and pleasant shades, with little paths winding about among those trees; and here and there, near the trees, were fountains of water springing from the hills, and running down into the valleys: for there were hills there, and the tops of some of them were covered all through the winter with snow, though in summer they appeared green or blue, according to the time of the year, and wore a very pleasant aspect.
Soffrona and Sophia were allowed to play in these woods, and they had learned to run and skip upon the hills like young fawns. It was very pleasing to see them, and they found many treasures in those wild places which children who have never been in woods have no idea of. They found snail-shells, and painting-stones, and wild strawberries, and bilberries, and walnuts, and hazel nuts, and beautiful moss, and many kinds of flowers; and there they heard birds sing – cuckoos, and linnets, and blackbirds, and thrushes; and saw beautiful butterflies with gold and purple plumes, and dragon-flies, whose wings look like fine silk net.
One morning in the month of May, Soffrona and Sophia had leave given to them to play in the woods, after they had finished their lessons, and they took a basket with them, to bring home any treasures which they might find. And they went a long way through the woods – I dare say as much as half a mile – till they came to a place where an old tree had been blown down by the side of a brook; and there they sat down, and each of them took a little penny book to read out of their basket: and while they were reading, they heard a noise of boys shouting and laughing, and they jumped up and hid themselves behind some bushes.
So the boys came nearer, and went down close to the water’s side; and the little girls heard them say to one another, ‘Let us put it in the deepest place, where it cannot scramble out.’ And they saw the boys stoop over the water and put something into it, and at the same time they heard a very young kitten cry; and the two little girls could not stop themselves from screaming out, quite loud, from the midst of the bushes, saying, ‘Wicked, cruel boys! what are you doing?’
Now the boys heard the cries of the little girls; and, as the Bible says, The wicked flee when no man pursueth; (Prov. 28:1) so they all took to their heels, and ran away as fast as they could, leaving the poor little kitten in the water.
Soffrona and Sophia did not lose one moment after the boys were gone, but ran to the brook, and found the little kitten almost dead. However, they got it out, though they wet themselves up to the knees in so doing, and they returned to the tree, and Soffrona sat down, and laid it upon her lap, while Sophia wiped it dry; and as she rubbed it, she found warmth returning to its little body, and presently it opened its eyes and began to mew. ‘O my dear little Puss!’ said Soffrona, ‘how very glad I am that you are not dead! You shall be my Puss, and I will call you Muff. Will you let her be mine, Sophia? Will you give me your share of her?’
Sophia did not say a word against this request, for it was the same to her whether the little kitten was called hers or Soffrona’s, and she liked to oblige Soffrona: besides, Sophia was a year older than Soffrona, and it might be expected that she would be more moderate in her desires, and think less of herself. Sophia had lived twelve months longer than Soffrona in the world; and how much may a person learn, with the blessing of God, in twelve months!
So it was agreed that the kitten should belong to Soffrona, and be called Muff; and when the little girls had dried it as well as they could they put it into the basket upon some soft moss, and ran home with it.
The lady was not angry with them for having wetted themselves in the brook to save a poor little animal’s life, but she hastened to change their clothes; and then they took the kitten out of the basket, and procured some milk to feed it with.
When the fur of the little cat was quite dry, it was seen that she was very beautifully marked. Her legs, and face, and breast, were quite white, and her back was streaked with yellow and black; so that she appeared like a fine polished tortoiseshell. But she was only nine or ten days old, and was not able to lap milk; and this was a great grief to Soffrona and Sophia, for they feared that although she had been saved from the water, she would surely die of hunger. The little girls tried to force milk down her throat with a spoon, but the milk ran down the outside of her mouth, instead of the inside of her throat, and the little creature’s sides became quite hollow for want of nourishment.
Soffrona was thinking of nothing but Muff all the evening, and she kept her on her lap while she was reading and while she was eating her supper. She was, indeed, so much occupied by her little kitten, that, when the lady asked her to help to make a flannel petticoat for a poor old woman who lived in a cottage among the hills, not very far off, she took the needle in her hand, it is true, but I do not think that she took twenty stitches; for she was looking down every minute upon the kitten on her lap: and the petticoat would not have been done that night, if Sophia had not been doubly di
ligent.
Now it was much to be wished that the petticoat should be done that night; for it was intended for a good old woman who lived in the woods, a very poor woman indeed, and the March winds had given her great pain in her limbs, and she was in much need of a warm petticoat; and more than that, the lady had promised the little girls the pleasure of taking the petticoat, with some tea and sugar the next morning, after they had repeated their lessons, to the cottage. But, as I before said, Soffrona’s heart was with her kitten, and she could think of nothing else, and of no other creature. She had no pity left for the old woman, so much was she thinking of little Muff. We ought to be kind to animals; but our first affections should be given to our Maker, our second to our fellow-creatures, and our third to any poor animals which may be in our power.
The last thing Soffrona did in the evening, was to try to put some milk down Muff’s throat, and this was the first thing she did in the morning, and so far she did right, for the poor little thing depended on her. But when she had done all she could for Muff, she should have given her mind to her other duties; but she could not command herself to attend to any thing else all that morning, and learned her lessons so ill, that, if the lady had not been very indulgent, she would have deprived her of the pleasure of walking with Sophia to see the old woman, and to carry the petticoat.
There was a neat little maid-servant, called Jane, who used to walk out with Sophia and Soffrona when they had a long way to go; and Jane was ready waiting for the little girls by the time the lessons were done.
Sophia had asked leave to carry the basket with the petticoat and the tea and sugar: and Soffrona took another basket, and put a bit of flannel at the bottom of it, and laid Muff in it, and tied the cover over it; and when Sophia took up her basket to carry, Soffrona also put her arm under the handle of Muff’s basket, and went downstairs with it.
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