I look down at her, puzzled. She looks embarrassed again. That little bit of red colors her dark skin.
“Saying what?”
“That you love me.”
I stop. She halts, too, and I turn to face her, but she won't look at me. Her eyes are on her feet, where she’s shuffling back and forth.
“Why do you ask that I not declare my love for you? Is this something that is not done among humans?”
I wouldn’t be surprised. From what I saw, humans seem to be more concerned with letting others know how much they dislike them than displaying any kind of love.
“No, it’s not that. It’s just that it makes me uncomfortable.”
I am very confused. My frown indicates this. She can’t see it though because she’s looking everywhere but at me.
“Amina, look at me, please. Why does it make you uncomfortable to know that I love you?”
Sighing, she finally meets my eyes. I see the discomfort she speaks of. It is a thick scent coming off of her.
“I just don’t like it when people throw around those kinds of words so casually. It was sweet before. I thought you were just being hyperbolic. And I get that I’ve made your heart beat and now you think you have to be with me. You’ve been great, and I would even say you really care about me, but it’s a little hard to believe that you suddenly have this great love for me.”
I don’t think I have to be with her. I know I do. My heart knows it as well as my mind. But this is important to her, so I try to understand.
“Why is it hard to believe?”
“Because you don’t know me!” Her voice rises in frustration, and I try to focus on her energy to better understand this reaction. Beneath her discomfort, there is cynicism and fear. The same emotions I detect when I tell her she is beautiful. Like her attractiveness, has she also been taught that she is unworthy of love? The thought makes me feel angry, but I try to keep my voice gentle when I respond.
“Why do you think I must know you to love you?”
“I mean, I don’t know. How can you know you love someone without knowing who they are? What if I’m a horrible person? What if my insides are rotten? What if I just suck as a human being?”
These are all ridiculous notions. I don’t try to hide what I think of her suppositions from my expression.
“I have been inside of you. I would have noticed if it was rotten in there.”
She sighs heavily, and her shoulders drop.
“I’m serious, Kwarq.”
“I am as well. I do not say that to be crass. I mean, I have been inside of you. I felt you with every part of me. Our hearts beat together. You have welcomed me into the most sensitive parts of your body. I have witnessed your pleasure and been the recipient of your passion. You are not rotten. You are not a horrible person, though I suspect that many people have been horrible to you. Furthermore, you do not suck in any way that is undesirable.”
She rolls her eyes at my teasing, but her expression softens.
“However, if it makes you more comfortable, I will refrain from speaking of my love for you until you feel I have earned the privilege.”
“Kwarq, it’s not that, it’s just—ugh!” she lifts her free hand and buries her face in the crook of her elbow. I have come to realize that when my lehti is angry or unsure, her first instinct is to shield herself. It makes me think she is used to being attacked, and I don’t like that. She never has to censor herself with me.
“Do not worry, my lehti. You have not offended me. These things take time. I accept your wishes, and I will respect them. Do not worry over it. I promise I am not bothered by your request.”
This is not completely true. I am bothered, but more that she is convinced my love for her could not be true. I’m bothered at whatever has happened to bring her to this place of being wary of accepting love from me. But I am also patient. I waited two months for the opportunity to speak with her back on Earth. I can wait for her to have faith in my love.
Amina
I feel like such a weirdo. More so than usual. I hate that Kwarq believing he loves me makes me feel awkward and suspicious. I should probably be thrilled that someone has declared their love for me, goodness knows men weren’t clambering to do more than waste my time back on Earth, but I can't help but feel like if I give in to it so easily, I’m setting myself up to be a sucker. I’ve been a sucker before. I’ve probably been a sucker more than most because I know that deep down I really believe in this shit.
I want love. I want a family. I want a man who loves me. But I also know that I can’t lay up with the first alien that comes my way. If Kwarq’s first heart, or whatever, had not bound him to me, would he really have given me a second glance on his little visit to Earth? Probably not. I can’t be all dreamy and tell myself that’s not the case. I have to be smart about this even if I just want to climb into his arms and let him love me like he seems to want to do.
I shake my head a little to get these thoughts out of my head as we walk and start to focus on the new world around me.
Along the sidewalk where we stroll, several different peeps and chirps echo from the bushes beside us. Some sound familiar, like crickets and cicadas, others are so otherworldly that I get the shivers just hearing them and step a little closer to Kwarq to be safe.
We’re still holding hands. Kwarq has been leading me through the paved streets with an easy familiarity. The town or city that we are in is primarily made up of what look similar to adobe houses back on Earth. They’re square and at least two or three stories tall and built into the foliage that seems to sprout from everywhere. Many have several wings and take up large parts of the long blocks we walk. Everything is so familiar, and yet I am also very aware that I’m in a foreign place.
First, the smells are unlike anything I have ever experienced. And that is not to say they are good or bad, but they are different. They aren’t even comparable to those on Earth. They seem more complex. Things are spicy and pungent or acrid and sweet, but in a good way. My head feels lighter, and I have to wonder if I’m taking in more oxygen.
Also, it’s quiet. Like deathly quiet. Aside from the creatures in the bushes, which are loud, there are no traffic or other sounds. The chaos of the travel port is gone. It’s eery and comforting at the same time.
“We are here.”
We’ve stopped in front of one of the adobe houses. It’s one of the larger ones we’ve passed. The structure extends up three stories. A set of stone steps leads from the sidewalk to the front of the home where a deep porch wraps around the side. I look up and see that several patios extend from the front. It actually looks pretty fancy. Like something I would expect to see in the Gold Coast back home.
“It’s beautiful,” I whisper. Speaking any louder feels wrong in such silence.
“Thank you. For the next four months, it will also be your home.”
Kwarq moves to take the steps leading up to the large, ornate wooden door of the house, and I pull on our joined hands to stop him. He pauses, his foot midair, and looks back at me.
“Is everything okay, lehti?”
He sounds so patient, so ready to please me. I imagine that if I told him right now that I don’t want to meet his family, and I want to stay in a hotel instead, granted they have them, he would say yes without hesitation. However, I don’t want to do that. I want to do this for him. I can do this. He’s with me. I’m safe. Nothing’s going to happen. Strangely enough, I’m a little apprehensive that his parents are going to take one look at me and give Kwarq the “what are you thinking” look. In every movie I’ve ever seen, no hot alien is swooping down to Earth to scoop up some random Black chick from the Southside of Chicago.
“No, I’m okay. Just nervous,” I explain and try to give him my best smile.
“If you are uncomfortable—“
“No, I’m fine, really. I want to meet them. I always get nervous when I meet someone’s folks. Plus, you know, I’m not even from this planet. I usually only have one w
orry when I date a guy outside of my race. Now, I gotta worry about being human, too.”
Kwarq frowns and steps back down in front of me. When I don’t meet his gaze, he nudges beneath my chin with his hand until I do.
“You are worried your being human will upset my parents?”
“That and other things.”
“Like what?”
“Uh, being Black.”
Kwarq frown and tilts his head to the side. “You think my parents will be surprised that I am leht to a woman who looks like you?”
The intensity of his stare makes me dart my eyes around before settling back on him. He waits patiently for my response. This is such a weird conversation, but it’s one I’ve had to have more than once back on Earth. Nothing is ever as easy as Kwarq makes things seem. Back home, these situations can be a fucking minefield. Some folks are cool, but you get the wrong family, and you’re being asked not to drink out of the good cups.
“I don’t know. I just don’t want to put myself in an awkward position, and I don’t want to freak your parents out. It’s happened before, trust me.”
“You believe my parents will freak out because you are Black?”
“Maybe.”
He leans down close to my face. I don’t know if he’s about to kiss me or what. His eyes flicker. The yellow is a warm glow. Having him this close throws my senses for a loop. His fresh, spicy smell swirls around me. His minty breath is intoxicating.
“Amina…”
“Yes.” I can barely speak. My entire body suddenly feels very warm. I really wish he would kiss me.
“Have you seen my brother?”
He’s poker-faced. His dark eyebrow raised. I can’t help it. I burst out laughing. My cackle is loud and echoey in the quiet dark of the block. Once I start, I find I can't stop. I bend over, holding my stomach as I try to get myself under control. When I lift up, I see Kwarq smiling down at me through the tears that fill my eyes. I wipe at my face as my cackles subside.
“We shall have to make her do that more often, brother. She has a beautiful laugh.”
“Oh shit.”
Immediately, I quiet and look past Kwarq to see a very tall, very handsome male standing behind him. He is at least half a foot taller than Kwarq, I realize, as he comes down the steps to stand next to us. His skin is a deep, reddish brown. It is almost more red than brown. He looks like Kwarq and Bati, although his features are more blunt than their sharper ones. His nose is flatter, with slightly flared nostrils. He has the same sharp cheekbones, and slightly droopy, yellow eyes. His hair is the darkest black I have ever seen and hangs long and curling about his shoulders. He shares the twin’s strong jawline, and the slight chin indentation that I’ve noticed through Kwarq’s short beard and on Bati’s bare face. Also like his brothers, the man’s smile is wide and toothy.
Kwarq turns to his brother and they take hold of each other’s arms, leaning in to press their temples together.
“We missed you, baby brother,” the man says after releasing him. He turns to me and nods.
“If I have your permission, I would like to greet you, my sa’aih. It would require me to touch you.”
He’s still smiling, but it’s careful now. I groan inside at the realization that Bati has clearly spread the misconception that I am completely opposed to physical contact throughout their family. Great. Now their first impression of me is that I’m some contact-phobe who doesn’t want babies.
“Of course,” I say as I shoot Kwarq a nervous look. He merely watches me, smiling reassuringly.
I stand still when his brother steps forward and takes hold of my waist. I jump a little. It’s an oddly intimate touch, but it doesn’t feel creepy or even sexual. Still, I can’t deny that having such a good-looking man put his hands on me in this way has an effect. I tiny tingle runs through me, immediately followed by embarrassment.
With his other hand, he reaches beneath my hair and cradles my neck, pulling me close to him. The stiffness of my body makes me fall forward a bit, and I have to catch myself by taking hold of his waist. I feel the line of his jaw press against the side of my head as his cheek rests against my hair. We stay this way for a moment, and gradually I relax. It’s a sweet embrace. Even if it is causing some embarrassing things to happen in my lady parts.
Suddenly, he eases away, but continues to hold me. I try to smile, but it feels wobbly and nervous.
“I am Ah’dan. This one and Bati’s elder brother.” He nods his head back at Kwarq, who rolls his eyes.
“Amina,” I croak out and then clear my throat. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“And you, my sa’aih. Did your procedure go well?”
I feel myself get warm with embarrassment, and I shift out of his grip. He lets me go, but frowns in confusion at my response. Kwarq frowns, also, and steps around his brother to my side, placing a hand at my back.
“I asked Bati not to mention it.”
Ah’dan’s eyes stay on me as he answers.
“He only told me. He said nothing to our parents. Although,” he leans his head down to catch my gaze, “it is nothing to be ashamed of. These things happen. What matters is that you are happy and safe.”
“Yeah, thanks,” I mumble, a little shocked by his comment, even though I shouldn’t be. I swear, I never thought I would find myself in the position where I was experiencing too much consideration.
He smiles again.
“Besides now that I am close enough to scent you, I see that you decided to carry after all.” He looks over to Kwarq, who’s still holding the basket the receptionist at the healing center gave him, and says something in his language, his smile growing wider. Kwarq’s eyes flick to me, but he only nods tersely and mumbles something in return. Ah’dan doesn’t reply, but when he turns back to me, his expression is mischievous.
“Well, congratulations and congratulations,” he says and turns back to the house. “Come you two. Mother and father are waiting up to greet their new dahnai.”
Kwarq takes my arm and we follow Ah’dan up the steps. They’re almost too tall for my short, human legs, and by the time I reach the top, I’m a bit winded.
“What’s a dahnai?” I huff out as we follow Ah’dan through the tall door.
Kwarq takes my hand again and raises it to his lips to kiss the back.
“Daughter.”
Chapter 15
Kwarq
Amina is nervous. I don’t have to reach out to her to feel this. Her hand quivers in mine as we step through the door to my home. I hold her firmly to reassure her of my earlier promise that there is nothing surprising waiting for her here. In response, she steps closer to me, but does not hide behind me. She’s being brave. Pride swells in my chest. She always impresses me, my lehti.
Inside, my parents stand back in the entry way. Normally, they would rush to greet me, but now that I know Bati made Amina’s discomfort with unannounced contact known, I believe this is only for her benefit.
I sense the moment Amina’s eye’s fall on my parents because I hear her audible sigh of relief. She was no doubt expecting to see two beings with tentacles or acid spitting fangs waiting for her. Instead, my non-tentacled, non-acid fanged parents stand with patient smiles across from us.
“Dahni.” My mother steps forward. I release Amina’s hand and meet her half way, being sure to stay in front of my lehti as I sink to my knees and lift the hem of my mothers dress to kiss it. She places her hand on my head, holding it there as we experience the lehti’an. After a moment, she steps away, and I rise to my feet.
“Kwarq, you have returned home, finally. I thought perhaps you meant never to come back.”
My father says this in our tongue and moves in front of me to clasp me behind the head and bring his temple to mine. Through his touch, I feel his worry as well as his curiosity. In fact, the entire room is awash with curiosity. It radiates from everyone, including Ah’dan, who is never curious about anything.
My parents look to me, and then their
eyes flicker to Amina, who’s standing awkwardly behind me. I move back to her side.
“Amina, it is good to meet you, my dahnai. Please feel welcome in our home.” My mother looks as if she would like to move forward to greet Amina properly, but she holds herself back, clasping her hands in front of her. My father inclines his head, politely.
“Dahnai, I am Quth, and this is my lehti and partner Mahdi. We are so very happy that you and our son have found each other.”
He also moves to step forward, but I raise my hand, respectfully, halting his progress.
“Father, Amina does not like—“
“Oh for goodness’ sake, Kwarq, you’re making me seem so damn rude!”
To my shock, Amina pushes past me and walks up to my mother. Standing on her toes to compensate for the height difference, she wraps her arms around my mother and pulls her into a hug.
“It’s really nice to meet you, and I just want to say that I don’t mind if people touch me. I just mind if men touch me without my permission. They tend to take liberties.”
My mother’s tinkling laugh fills the entryway as she squeezes Amina back. My mother inhales over Amina’s shoulder, and her eyes spring open to meet mine. She has caught the scent of our young. She looks at me questioningly, and I shake my head in a subtle request that she not mention it now.
When my mother finally releases her, I see that her eyes are wet. My mother is a feeler more than most. I should have known the news of our conception would touch her the deepest.
My mother steps out of the way, and my father hesitates. Amina saves him from figuring out what to do by wrapping her arms about his waist in an equally affectionate hug. When my father looks down at her head and then back at me, his smile is wistful. I know he, too, can sense her pregnancy. He chuckles and squeezes her back.
Amina steps away from my father. She plants her hands on her hips and her shoulders lift and drop heavily as a loud, shaky breath erupts from her mouth.
“Woo, now that’s out of way, let me just say, I am so glad you guys didn’t try to eat me.”
Kwarq (Lyqa Planet Lovers Book 1) Page 14
