She pushes against me and at the same time tries to scramble away. The bed under my thigh is warm and wet with the liquid coming from her body.
“Leh—Amina, please. My semen will replenish the fluids you are losing. My body is made for this purpose. Please, let me help you. I would never take advantage of you, please!”
She gasps as more liquid seeps from her. I’m about to plead further, but before I can, she grabs me by the shoulders and yanks me over her.
“Stop it, now! Do it!” Her voice is scared and urgent. I don’t waste time. I yank down my shorts, and my cock springs heavily between us. My first heart has done it’s work. I’m hard and ready to release. I don’t feel any desire, but something more instinctual. The instinct to protect my family. To do whatever I must to ensure they are safe.
“I will be gentle. I will try not to hurt you,” I tell her as I position myself at her entrance and press my hips forward.
Amina squirms slightly as I breach her, but the wetness of the expulsion seems to prevent any discomfort. I work quickly and methodically, thrusting urgently to reach the end that I feel lingering just out of reach. I focus my mind, and soon I’m releasing vigorously inside of her. I press deeply, holding her hips at an angle to keep it inside. Amina lays beneath me with her eyes shut. Her lips move, and when I listen, I hear the soft, pleading litany she’s saying to our children.
“Stay in there, little ones. Please stay.”
“They will stay, Amina. I will not let you lose them.”
I kiss both of her moist eyelids as I continue to release inside of her. They’re swollen from her crying. Her brown skin is streaked with tears.
A moment later, the last jet pulses inside of her, and I relax, breathing deeply from my efforts. I feel her arms come around my back. Her legs grip my sides until the hard little plates of her knees dig into my hips.
“Is it enough?”
“I cannot tell yet. If it is not enough, I will give more.” My first heart is ready. I realize that it had already begun acting in anticipation of aiding her. The strength of the leht is even more amazing to me in this moment. I pray that it is strong enough to save our children.
Amina sniffles beneath me. I hold her close, keeping as much of my weight off of her as I can. I try again to transfer some of my calm to her, and I’m pleased when I feel our hearts start to slow. Amina’s breathing eases and deepens. I lift my head to see that she has fallen asleep.
Carefully, I ease from inside of her. I wait anxiously to feel the gush of liquid that follows, but nothing comes from her body. The bed beneath us is still wet, but I don’t risk moving her. Instead, I pull the sheet over her, so she doesn’t get cold, and I ease down next to her, careful not to jostle her too much and wake her. She’s in a deep sleep. I can tell right away. I’m glad. Her body needs to heal. I rest my hand lightly over her stomach.
“Stay in there, little ones. Please stay.” I repeat their mother’s words and settle in to wait.
Chapter 21
Amina
My eyes spring open. Above me, the light walls of Kwarq’s bedroom flicker with shadows. The familiar earthy, spicy smell of Kwarq surrounds me. I don’t move. I can’t move. My last conscious thought was that I didn’t want to lose my babies. It’s almost like my brain stopped working mid-thought and now that I’m awake, my terror picks up where it left off.
“It is okay, Amina. You are well. They are well.”
I turn my head just enough to see Kwarq sitting on the edge of the bed. He looks a little ragged. His hair sticks up around his head. The yellow of his eyes appears dull. He looks hollow, like he’s lost weight.
“They’re okay?”
He smiles, faintly, and nods. “They flourish. Look.”
I move cautiously, lifting my head to look down at my belly. I can’t stop my quick intake of breath. My stomach has more than doubled in size. It sticks roundly from my body beneath the sheet. My eyes fly back to Kwarq.
“How long have I been asleep?”
His expression changes to one of despair and worry.
“It has been nearly two weeks.”
My attempts at moving gingerly are forgotten and I sit up onto my elbows as much as my belly will allow me to.
“Oh my god. Why did I sleep so long? You couldn’t wake me?”
“It seems the fact that you are carrying two fetuses is making the adjustment to a Lyqa gestation slightly more difficult for your body. We had a healer come see you. He said that is why your body tried to miscarry. It was attempting to expel what it perceived to be—alien.”
I frown. I can refer to my kids as alien, but that doesn’t mean any one else can.
“They aren’t alien.”
“I know, Amina,” he smiles, and it’s sad, “but they are not what your body is expecting.”
The way he says this makes me think he isn’t just talking about the babies. He’s talking about himself. I have no doubt that Kwarq has probably spent the last two weeks beating himself up for knocking me up in the first place. If there is one thing I am sure of, it’s that Kwarq sees it as his duty to protect me. The last thing I remember before now is Kwarq making himself bust a nut inside of me to try and reinforce my womb and stop me from miscarrying. The realization hits me that he may not have been what I was expecting, but he’s been better to me than any man I’ve ever taken a chance on trusting. That he thinks he’s in some way failed or disappointed me makes my heart hurt more than I ever thought it could.
“Can I move?”
He nods and pulls the covers back, moving forward to help me. I hold up my hand to stop him.
“I can do it. Just—just stay where you are.”
His face falls, but he manages to school his features quickly. Then he nods again.
“Of course. I will not touch you, my leh—Amina—if you do not wish it. Of course, I will not.”
I mentally roll my eyes. Kwarq is so extra, and I really kind of love his guts in this moment.
I sit up fully and wait to see if anything funny happens. It doesn’t. I would expect for my arms or back to be stiff after two weeks of laying down, but they feel fine. Better than fine, actually. I feel very loose and relaxed. I have energy. I move up so that I’m on all fours and crawl slowly down the bed until I’m in front of Kwarq. He sits completely still, staring at me with wide eyes. It doesn’t look like he’s breathing. When he doesn’t move to make space for me, I gently swat at his arms, which are resting in his lap.
“Move.”
He complies, lifting his arms to the side in confusion. I don’t explain, I just crawl into his lap, settling myself along the hard tops of his thighs and wrapping my arms around his middle. The breath he expels is harsh and forceful over my head. A low moan rumbles in his chest, and then his arms come around me, squeezing me tight, almost crushing me against him.
I don’t care. I nuzzle closer and listen to the beat of our hearts. His beats loud and bassy over my softer thud.
Nothing makes sense. In less than a month, things I never imagined happening in my lifetime have happened, and through it all, Kwarq has been with me, protecting me, caring for me. The man literally overcame abject terror to fuck me and save our babies. I can’t even begin to wrap my brain around that kind of devotion. So I won't.
“I love you, Kwarq.”
I do. It hits me like the truest truth. It hits me like the truth of my own existence in this vast, amazing universe. I love this Lyqa dude.
“Amina?”
I lean away from his chest and look up at him. When I’m this close, I can see how dull his usually golden skin looks. The dark rings around his eyes. The yellow is so matte. That vibrant sparkle I’m used to seeing no longer shines back at me. I miss it. I want it back.
“Did you miss me?”
He swallows and nods, but it’s just a jerky twitch of his head.
“I did.”
“Were you scared?”
“I was.”
“Do you still feel like
you love me?”
He frowns, and I get a little nervous. Please don’t let this be one of those moments where I completely misread the situation. Please don’t let me have crawled up into this man’s lap thinking I’m cute, and he’s about to send my scary, comatose prone ass back home.
He stares down at me for another moment. His eyes flickering across my face. I wait, not sure if I’ve been waiting for two seconds or two minutes. I kind of expected him to confirm his love for me, right away. Or not.
“I didn’t mean to put you on the spot. I was just messing with you. I’m sorry.”
I move to push off from his lap, but his arms tighten around me as he stares down at me. His brows meet tightly in the middle of his head. His full lips press together. He looks mad.
“That is not a proper apology.”
He says it gently, but there is an edge to it. Figures he would be all about the formalities.
“Right.”
He loosens his hold on me so I can turn in his lap. I’m in a bit of an awkward position. The only way I can do a proper apology is if I turn to face him. I try to lower my legs to the floor, but in a flash his arms come around and keep my legs from moving. He shakes his head. I’m not sure what to do. My only other option is to turn and straddle him, so I do. Maneuvering in a half circle as best as I can with my belly. When I’m in position, I sit back close to his knees.
He continues to stare at me, but I can no longer read his expression, and it makes me hesitate. I try to remember what I’m supposed to do.
I take his face in my hands and rise up to my knees so I can reach his head and press our foreheads together. Immediately, a kind of warmth fills me. I nuzzle closer, letting my nose brush his.
“Ma’h qitah, Kwarq.” My pronunciation is garbage, but I really am sorry.
“Why are you sorry? You have to say the offense to mend it.”
This is a different Kwarq than I’m used to. He’s not being mean, but he is slightly more unrelenting.
“I’m sorry that I put you on the spot and made you worry and have to take care of me for nearly a month. I’m just sorry. For everything.”
“No.”
I laugh. “Kwarq you can’t tell me what to be sorry for.”
“I can. That is not how you have offended me, Amina.”
I try to lean away but he puts his hand to the back of my head to keep our faces together.
“Kwarq, I don’t know what else I’ve done, but whatever it is, I’m sorry.”
“Do not be sorry. Fix it.”
I sigh. It seems I’ve woken up to difficult Kwarq. Why can’t he just spit it out like he usually does?
“Well, I don’t know what I did, so how can I fix it? I do a lot of wrong stuff. Ninety percent of what I do is wrong. It’s just easier to issue a blanket apology. Trust me, I feel bad.”
A low, annoyed growl sounds out. What? Kwarq, bastion of patience, is frustrated with me? I’m almost too stunned to wonder why.
“You asked me if I loved you.”
“I did,” I reply cautiously.
“But you made me promise not to tell you that until you were comfortable with it.”
Oh right. I did say that, didn’t I?
“I did. I’m sorry.”
“So fix it.”
Kwarq finally lets me lean back. He’s still frowning, but what I thought was anger before, I can see now is restraint and pain. I’ve put the brakes on every attempt by Kwarq to do what comes naturally to him, and he’s been respectful of it because he cares so much about me. It seems so silly now. I’m not a bad person. My insides aren’t rotten. I deserve love. I deserve his love, and I’ll take it. If he wants to give it, I’ll take it.
“You have my permission.”
I squeal when Kwarq flips us over lightening fast and starts pressing kisses all over my face.
“I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.”
Each kiss is followed by a declaration. In his deep, melodic voice, it begins to sound like a song, and I laugh. This feels good. It really really feels good.
“We definitely must make her do that more. She truly has a beautiful laugh.”
I duck my head around Kwarq and see Ah’dan standing just inside of the room. He smiles, and I lift my hand from Kwarq’s back and wave. Kwarq doesn’t even acknowledge his brother. He leans his head into the exposed crook of my neck and presses a kiss just at the sensitive area behind my ear.
“I love you, Amina.”
His voice is a gentle, emotion-filled whisper. It warms every part of me until I think I’m going to burst from happiness. Still…
“Kwarq?”
“Yes, Amina.”
“Stop calling me that.”
Kwarq
“Eat more, my lehti.”
I pull the large bowl of roasted vegetables closer to her just as Bati reaches for a glazed root. He frowns.
My instructions to Amina are unnecessary. She’s in the grips of a hunger, and instinct is driving her. She shoves piece after piece of food into her mouth, chewing slowly, her eyes closed as she savors each bite.
I have seen this before with other Lyqa mothers, but it is still a fascinating thing to witness. She seems so oblivious to everything around her. When a piece of food slips from her fingers to the floor, she looks so forlorn at the loss that I must smother a laugh. I’m glad that our babies are hungry, and that she is strong enough to feed them.
Amina finishes Bati’s plate and immediately begins looking for more. Her eyes fall on Ah’dan’s half-eaten bowl, and he sighs and pushes it across the table to her.
“Thank you. God, I’m so hungry!” She reaches into the plate, picks up a long sliver of root vegetable and folds it into her mouth. Immediately, her mouth turns down, and she stops chewing. The blissful expression of a moment ago is now a mask of complete disgust. Opening her mouth, she lets the food fall out with a splat back into the bowl.
“Ugh, that’s it. I’m over it.”
I chuckle and push the plate away, but it’s not far enough. Amina reaches out and scoots it until it’s across the table, back in front of Ah’dan, who shrugs and picks up the piece of food Amina spit back into the bowl and plops it into his mouth.
“Ew, Ah’dan, you are so gross.”
Ah’dan cheeks raise in a self-satisfied smirk. He finishes chewing and his eyes flick to mine. His smile grows more mischievous. Bati notices and smiles too. I know what they are thinking. I roll my eyes, but nod my head. I never should have told them that story. Amina’s going to kill me.
“Amina?”
She’s wiping her hands on a napkin, her head bowed as she works to get the sauce and bits of food from beneath her nails. Her head pops up when I call her name. She smiles, and I stare at her for the briefest second in complete awe that she’s so beautiful.
I let my mouth drop open at the same moment as Ah’dan and Bati. Our tongues unfurl in a synchronized roll and slap wetly against our chins.
Nothing happens. Amina doesn’t even flinch. She just rolls her eyes and goes back to cleaning her nails.
“Jokes on you. I’m not worried about your creepy, long tongues anymore.” She looks up at me and narrows her eyes. “I know what they’re good for.”
Ah’dan chokes on his tongue and automatically clamps down. He rolls onto his back covering his mouth, a high-pitched wail sounding from behind his hand. Bati laughs, holding his side and pointing a taunting finger at our brother.
Amina trains her eyes on Ah’dan and raises one eyebrow.
“That’s what you get.”
Amina
It’s been another week since I woke up from my second bout with sleeping beauty syndrome, and I’m really starting to feel pregnant. When Kwarq said I was asleep for two weeks, I thought he meant two Earth weeks, but he meant two Lyqa weeks, so that kind of freaked me out, but there’s nothing I can do about it now.
I’m basically eight months pregnant. It’s weird. In my head, I’m still a size six. In real lif
e, I am a house. I am a fucking two-decker. I’m a greystone in Bronzeville.
I’m also excited. Today is the first day Kwarq’s taking me out of the house. Maq’ti spent the first few days fussing over me, bringing me breakfast in bed, meditating with me because apparently that’s a big Lyqa thing, and otherwise doing the mother thing. In that time, Kwarq let slip his grand plan to use his mom to guilt trip me into staying. I have to say, if I wasn’t already decided on never ever leaving this Lyqa dude, his mother fluttering over me for the past few days would have definitely swayed me. After all, she’s carried Lyqa babies two more times than I have, and I’ve had enough scares to last a life time.
Overall, we’ve all been very careful. Every night, Kwarq “reinforces my womb” which is just the less creepy way of saying he jerks off inside of me. It’s completely nonsexual, which is a little frustrating, but it’s necessary.
After a couple of days of wondering, I just had to know how this reinforcement went down while I was sleeping. When I asked, Kwarq visibly recoiled and seemed genuinely appalled by the idea that I thought he was doing me while I was comatose. Apparently, it wasn’t necessary then. My body was in healing mode. It took care of itself.
While all of the coddling’s been nice, I’m so anxious to get out of the house that I think I’m going to scream. I spend a lot of time on our little balcony, watching Lyqas and other beings walk by. Checking out the weird little animals. I’m not even anxious anymore about what might be waiting out there. I just want to be out.
I’m already standing by the door, shuffling from foot to foot when Kwarq, his brothers, and his parents converge on the foyer. They’re all so damn tall and beautiful. Until now, I’ve only seen them in similar, simple white or tan tunics and loose pants or shorts. From what Kwarq has told me, these are a kind of house clothes, like pajamas or lounge wear.
I can only gape at Kwarq and his family as they prepare to leave the house. It’s like that scene from Coming to America when Prince Akeem’s family showed up in New York, all flowing garb and elaborate display.
Kwarq (Lyqa Planet Lovers Book 1) Page 20
