“This is Tucker James, isn’t it?”
“Yes.”
“Ms. Harper has you as the emergency contact on Garrett’s form.”
“Anna?”
“Yes,” the woman on the line said. She then gave me directions.
After she hung up, I stared at the phone, my confusion turning into suspicion.
I headed to the campus daycare, a feeling of foreboding making my stomach cramp.
CHAPTER 16
Tucker
The child was a spitting image of me.
I instantly knew he was mine.
He had the same sandy blond hair and light eyes. His chin jutted out in a stubborn tilt that I remembered from pictures of me at his age. He even had the small dimple in the center.
Oh God, I have a son…
My limbs felt heavy and my mind reeled. I felt light-headed and my vision dimmed. There was as loud roar in my ears and it became hard to breathe.
Holy shit. I was a father and all these years, I’d had no idea.
I had missed so much.
Along with my shock and amazement, I began to feel simmering anger.
“Hello, Mr. James. We spoke on the phone. I’m Louisa Robinson, the supervisor. Thank you for coming in so quickly. As you can see, Garrett isn’t feeling very well, and he isn’t happy about it.”
The woman’s voice grounded me, giving me something to concentrate on other than what was going on inside my head. I didn’t have time to dwell on my turbulent emotions because my son needed me. Right now, he was fussing, demanding his mommy.
The little boy called Garrett wailed, fat tears falling down his cheeks as he squirmed in the woman’s hold.
I held out my hand to catch him when he almost fell out of Louisa’s grasp after pushing hard at her chest. Abruptly, he registered my nearness and stilled, leaning into the middle-aged brown-haired woman as he watched me wearily. Tears were still falling from his eyes, but he had stopped letting out gut-wrenching sobs.
“Come on, little guy. We need to get you home,” I said, my voice croaking as if I hadn’t used it in years. I reached for him, keeping my movements slow and deliberate.
Garrett shook his head and then hid his face against Louisa’s neck. “I want my mommy. Where’s Mommy?”
“He doesn’t seem to be very comfortable with you,” the woman observed, bouncing Garrett on her hip.
Maybe because he has no fucking clue who I am, I thought angrily. I had to get myself under control though, or they wouldn’t allow me to walk out of here with my own son. So I pulled out my military training and dutifully suppressed the violent mix of emotions I felt; there would be plenty of time to feel them later.
Right now, I had to be a father. He needed me, and I wouldn’t fail him despite it being the first time I had ever laid eyes on him. I had already failed him for all these years by not being around.
Granted, that wasn’t exactly my fault…
Looking at the woman, I summoned a charming smile. “I have only recently come back into his life and we’re still adjusting to each other. We’ll be fine though. He’s completely safe with me.”
I watched her fall under my spell, a blush making her cheeks pink as she unconsciously patted her bob-styled hair back.
She nodded. “Ms. Clark has always had you as her emergency contact, so I see no reason he can’t be released into your care. Just show me your ID so I can make a copy and you’ll be on your way.”
“No problem.” I pulled my license out of my wallet and handed it over. Still holding onto Garrett, she walked over to the copy machine.
So that’s why they called me, I marveled, astonished that Anna had me written down.
Did that mean she had always thought I would come back, and that she had planned to tell me about him?
Louisa returned my ID. “Looks like it’s all in order,” she said, still bouncing Garrett. She coaxed his head away from her neck. “Be a good boy now, all right? Go on with Mr. James. He’ll take good care of you and you’ll feel better soon, buddy.”
When she passed Garrett over to me, my arms wrapped around the child like I had been doing it for years. It felt natural and right to hold him and I fought the urge to smother him closer. I savored the feel of his slight weight even though he was stiff against me. I inhaled deeply, emotion threatening to take over as I smelled the shampoo from his hair. Same as his mom’s.
Happiness was now in the mix of feelings I had running through me. Somehow, I could already tell Garrett was the most lovable child in the universe.
And I was his father.
I internally promised to spend the rest of my life taking care of him and making sure he had everything he needed—most of all my love.
I had just met him, but I never wanted him to doubt how much I loved him.
“He seems to be coming down with a stomach bug. I’m sure with a little medication and rest, he’ll be right as rain,” Veronica said. “I have placed the medicine Ms. Harper keeps here for emergencies in the bag for you. I already gave him a dosage about thirty minutes ago. All you have to do is stick to the instructions on the bottle and everything will be fine. Don’t worry if he’s drowsy. It’s a normal side effect. Plus, he’s likely tired from his body fighting the sickness anyway.”
I nodded, still staring at my child.
Louisa handed me a bag decorated with cartoon characters.
A few minutes later, I buckled Garrett into the backseat of my car. I didn’t even have a car seat. Did he need one? I had no idea.
He watched me with wide, unsure eyes. “Where’s my mommy?”
I pushed his hair away from his forehead. He stiffened initially but relaxed into my touch when I kept it gentle.
“I don’t know, bud,” I said. “I would very much like to know that too. I’m going to take care of you until she comes back though. We can watch movies and have a snack while we wait for her. Would you like that?”
He nodded. “I like Spiderman. He’s super cool.”
I made an expression of delighted shock. “So do I! We seem to have all the right things in common already. We’re going to have a great time together.”
Garrett nodded as if I’d spoken a proven fact.
I couldn’t help smiling. The little guy was adorable.
“I’ve seen a picture of you in my mommy’s room,” he said suddenly. “She told me I would meet you one day. You look like me.”
My heart beat in an erratic pattern, racing one second then slowing the next. “Really?” I said.
“Yes,” he replied matter-of-factly. “We should be friends.”
I couldn’t remember the last time I cried, but I felt the telltale prick of tears in the corner of my eyes. “I would like that every much,” I said, my voice choked.
Once we got to my apartment, I settled Garrett on the couch. I found a channel playing cartoons and he was impressed by the size of my television.
“Are you hungry?” I asked, having spotted a few snacks in his bag.
“No, thank you,” he said.
“Well, how about just a glass of water?” I asked, figuring he needed to at least stay hydrated.
“Okay.”
I smiled. “All right. Coming right up.”
But when I returned from the kitchen with the glass, he had already curled up on the couch and fallen asleep.
I pulled his shoes off and settled him into a more comfortable position before sitting across from him.
And then I simply watched him sleep, unable to take my eyes off him. It was like my brain wanted to catalogue everything about him.
After a while, I called Anna’s phone a few more times, pissed as hell that she had kept him from me for all these years.
She had a lot to explaining to do the next time I saw her, that was for sure.
CHAPTER 17
Anna
Brandon had been found, and thank goodness, he wasn’t on drugs.
His life was filled with way too much drama for a mere high s
chooler though.
It turned out that he had a crush on a girl at his school, and she’d been getting abused by her boyfriend, a guy a grade ahead of them. And this guy—he was a small-time drug dealer.
Brandon had stolen a stash of the teenager’s drugs in effort to take his focus off his girlfriend and redirect them at him. While his plan had worked, he now sported a busted lip, blackened eyes, and various other abrasions in the aftermath because the small-time crook had found him before my family and the police did.
My heart ached when I saw his injuries even though he had tried to play them off, even going so far as to decline medical attention. But after getting his mother on the phone, she had demanded with me, Dad, and Autumn that he be seen by a doctor, so he finally agreed. Fortunately, none of the injuries were enough to warrant hospitalization.
And of course, the press had been there, trying to capture the story. But that was just a normal part of life surrounding my father now. And none of us could deny it—we were at least happy the story would be that his nephew was playing hero to an abused classmate rather than becoming an aspiring drug dealer. We all knew that ought to raise his approval ratings…
Nevertheless, Brandon wasn’t looking forward to going home, or to going to my father’s estate, for reporters were bound to be lurking.
At my place, on the other hand, he’d have some privacy. The press just didn’t care as much about the former senator’s older aloof daughter who’d had a child out of wedlock. Hence, Brandon had asked to come home with me for the night to get away from the press, and my father as well.
Dad’s intentions had been good, but he hadn’t been able to stop himself from lecturing Brandon about his decision-making and carelessness. Naturally, Brandon hadn’t responded well. So it was in everyone’s best interest that he stay with me for the night until things cooled off.
I had to admit though, I agreed with my dad for once. Brandon’s choices weren’t reflecting the smart and level-headed person we knew him to be.
On the ride home, however, I remained silent, not having the slightest clue what to say to my cousin about his choices without offending him. Realizing he didn’t need another person breathing down his back right now, I decided to leave the conversation for another time.
I glanced at the dashboard and checked the time, seeing that I had to pick up Garrett from daycare soon.
I also realized that I’d missed all my classes for the day and most importantly, my talk with Tucker to reveal that we had a son together.
I felt a patter in my heart just thinking about it. My hands grew sweaty around the steering wheel and my stomach clenched.
I had found out I was pregnant just after Tucker left for the military. Finding out I was carrying his child had been simultaneously devastating and thrilling, even though I knew my life would become ten times harder.
I had tried to imagine how Tucker would take the news. We had been careful, and I had never missed a day in taking the pill while we were together. Hence, I didn’t think he would welcome the news, especially not with the way he left.
I hadn’t wanted to tell him through a letter, email, or even over the phone; it just seemed like the kind of thing that needed to be relayed in-person. So I had sent him one email with a single line that he never responded to or acted on: We need to talk. Please contact me when you’re in town.
But he rarely came home and we never ran into each other.
As time passed, there were so many missed opportunities to tell him. Eventually, I started to worry that he would try to take Garrett from me or that we would end up in a nasty custody battle if he ever found out. So it became easier to just keep the news to myself.
Until now.
Would he understand why I kept it a secret for so long, or would he make me regret it?
I pushed the matter to the back of my mind. I could only deal with one thing at a time, and the brooding boy next to me needed my attention at the moment.
A few minutes later, we arrived at my place. I told him to make himself comfortable while I went to pick up Garrett.
“We’ll talk when I get back,” I assured.
“I know you’re mad at me,” he said, stopping me in my tracks.
“I am,” I responded honestly, “but I love you, Brandon. Nothing will ever change that. I just wished you would have trusted me to help you.”
He lowered his eyes, ashamed. The gesture made him look so young and lost. I moved back towards him and pulled him in for a hug even though he stood almost a foot taller than me.
He hunched over to bury his head against my shoulder and let out a shuddering breath. “I know I should have come to you. It’s just my head was so wrapped up in this girl and she didn’t want me to tell anyone. I promised her that I wouldn’t go back on my word.”
I had to admire his strength of character during such a difficult situation. I patted his back comfortingly. “I understand. Love makes us do crazy things sometimes.”
He laughed, a shaky sound. “Yeah, it does.”
I pulled back to look him in the face. “I have to go get Garrett now. We’ll finish this conversation later, all right?”
He nodded. “Okay. Thanks, Anna.”
I headed for the door again and patted my pockets, checking for my cellphone. It wasn’t there. I had left it in the car.
I hurried to the car, got into the driver’s seat, and immediately began searching for it.
I found it in the glove compartment. When I picked it up, I saw all the missed calls I’d gotten throughout the day—the daycare and Tucker outnumbering all.
I called the daycare back first, listening dumbfounded as they explained to me that Garrett had gotten sick and they had called his emergency contact to pick him up.
The blood drained from my face.
Because that meant Tucker knew now, and this wasn’t remotely the way I’d wanted him to find out.
I had put his number on the form on impulse, not really thinking that he still carried the same contact number. My dad and Autumn were usually unavailable, and Brandon was too young. So I’d had no one else to place as a contact.
After I got off the phone with the campus daycare, I knew my day had taken a turn for the worse. My hands shook as I dialed Tucker’s number.
He answered on the second ring.
“He’s at my apartment,” he said, the words coming across without emotion.
“Tucker, I didn’t mean for you find out like this. I swear—”
“Just come over, Anna,” he said, cutting me off with a cold tone. He then hung up without another other word.
It took a while before I was calm enough to drive. I wanted to be optimistic, but I was dreading the upcoming confrontation.
Taking a deep breath, I turned the key in the ignition and pulled out of the driveway.
When I arrived at Tucker’s apartment, he yanked the door open before I even knocked. The look on his face let me know just how much trouble I was in.
CHAPTER 18
Anna
Tucker and I just stared at each other for a few seconds, me standing just outside his front door and he like a guard over the threshold. Unable to hold his gaze any longer, I looked just over his shoulder, all the while feeling the coolness of his eyes roaming over me.
Since I didn’t have the nerve to look him in the eye yet, I trailed his body instead. Despite the severity of the situation, I still couldn’t help noticing how handsome he was, even in a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt.
When the moment had stretched far beyond awkward, I finally managed to bring my gaze to his face. The lines of his face were sharp, and the light stubble darkening his jaws made him appear engulfed in an angry shadow. In that moment, he looked like the definition of a guy you didn’t want the misfortune of pissing off.
To say he was angry was an understatement.
I swallowed and straightened my spine, knowing I had to take whatever was coming my way.
Knowing I deserved it.
/> All I could do was explain myself and hope he understood that I had never meant to intentionally hurt him like this.
I swallowed again. “Can I come in?” I asked in a small voice.
Wordlessly, he stepped back and allowed me to enter.
“Where’s Garrett? How is he?” I asked walking past cautiously.
“On the couch,” Tucker answered. “He’s fine. Poor kid is suffering from one of those 24-hour bugs.”
I headed straight for the living room and immediately rushed to Garrett’s side. I set down the bag I carried and knelt beside him, my hands carefully hovering over him so that he would not wake. He felt warm, but looked peaceful, so I didn’t want to disturb him just yet. A light blanket was thrown over him and his chest rose and fell gently.
“He fell asleep almost as soon as we got here. I woke him up to eat lunch and gave him another dose of the medicine in the bag. He watched television for a few minutes but then went right back to sleep. He’s been sleeping most of the time.”
I listened while meticulously eyeing Garrett’s every feature, searching for anything that might be off. “The medicine just makes him drowsy, that’s all. Plus, he tends to sleep a lot when he’s sick. He‘ll be fine though,” I answered without looking away from my son.
Our son.
I pushed his hair back and kissed his forehead, lingering for a moment.
A heavy silence filled the room, the only sound being Garrett’s gentle breathing.
Steeling myself, I moved my eyes toward Tucker, who continued to stand like an imposing mountain at the entrance of the room.
For a moment, I swore his expression softened. But in the blink of an eye, he looked just as cold as ever, and I was left thinking I had imagined it.
“I think…we need to talk,” I said quietly, my eyes cast downward on the floor. My face felt warm with shame.
Tucker’s eyebrow rose, exasperated. “Follow me,” he said and turned without waiting for my response.
I watched his back as he headed to his bedroom.
Giving Garrett one last look, I took a deep breath and followed Tucker.
Inside the bedroom, I briefly looked around and noticed that it had all the essentials –a bed, dresser, and nightstand – but like the rest of the apartment, it lacked any true personality. Tucker had obviously moved in just recently and hadn’t made any efforts to decorate yet.
Reckless Hero (Savage Soldiers Book 5) Page 9
