by Tanya Hanson
“Oh, Firefly. I'll never leave. Whether I have a new dress or not.” The depth of Minda's love overcame any doubts, and she cast another look at her husband outside. Head shaking firmly, he remained a pillar of resolve. It was time for Minda to stand by his side.
Katie giggled. “It's been hard to keep this a surprise. Why do you think I always talked about you needing a new dress?”
After kissing Katie's cheek, Minda rose, took a little package from her worktable, and said, “You tend Priscilla if she wakes. I've got something to say.”
As she joined her husband and Esperanza outside, Minda wondered at the woman's fortitude. Even in her delicate condition, Esperanza's shoulders were steady, her body tall. For a frenzied moment, Minda wondered if the motherhood might be nothing but a stuffed pillow. Either way, she had no qualms about interrupting their discussion.
“Sorry to interrupt, Brixton. Miss Eames.” Resolute, she walked across the dusty yard to her husband's side and with an emphatic nod, took his hand in hers. Like always, she felt the heat from him that started her own delicious warmth down inside. “I am sorry about your predicament, but don't cast blame on my husband in your desperation. He does not run away from responsibility. I am living proof of that.”
Brixton looked down at her with eyes so meltingly dark that she knew he could see into her heart, into her very soul. She knew he believed her.
For a moment, she returned his gaze until Esperanza's feet shifted. Minda gestured at the coachman to come assist. “Now I wish you health and I wish you well, but please, Miss Eames, leave our home.”
* * * *
Our home? Brixton's heart twinged with doubt. Had she grown so attached? Was his plan bound for failure?
Her hand clamped in his, she stayed so close to him their bodies touched, starting all kinds of heated thoughts as the carriage drove Esperanza away, and hopefully out of his life for all time. But no hatred bloomed. Desperation drove people to unimaginable plans.
Look at Norman Dale.
The babe was sure to be Rawley Snate's. The cattle trail was long, but its world wasn't wide. If Esperanza could be honest with trail boss Buck Hannon, he could find her lover in a flash and calm down her old man.
Brix had a home and family of his own now, and a wife to soothe.
“Minda, I never ... there was never a chance, me and Esperanza never, I mean, we didn't...”
She smiled up at him, glowing in a way he hadn't seen before. “I know, Brixton. I believe you about that. I don't think she expected to see you here today. I'm sure she came here today to buy me off and enchant the children with gifts.” She glanced away for a moment, but then looked at him with a tease in her eye. “She found out the truth about our wedding fast enough and figured I'd enjoy a way out.”
Brix hated to think the words, much less mouth them. “What would you say to something like that?” He gave a quick glare at Esperanza's departing dust.
She spit fire. “What? I haven't proven myself yet that I want to stay? You're the one who took off, Brixton, without a word. And you can say all you want about leaving a note. But you didn't.”
“Can we go sit somewhere, Minda? I left a note, truth as I live. On your worktable with your hat fixins.” He kept her hand tight in his and led her to the porch steps, and she sank down in seeming appreciation.
“I'm there every day, Brixton. There wasn't a note.” She nodded as vigorous as a schoolmarm.
“You say I'm lying about that?” Brix wasn't lying at all. How could he convince her he spoke true?
Minda's eyelids closed. “I hope not, Brixton. But you've had some difficulty with the truth in the past. Thing is, you always said I'd know when you left for good, because you'd kiss me good-bye. That didn't happen either.”
At least she didn't mind leaning against him. Her shoulders pressing into his made him want to tuck her underneath his arm and keep her always by his side. But there were things to say.
“Well, for one thing, I didn't leave,” he said. “Had an important errand to run for this family that took me away from home. Like I said previous, I did kiss you, but you were sleeping sound. However, I can sure make up for it now.”
When she didn't frown at him or pull away, he drew her against his chest for an embrace he hoped would prove he wasn't lying. Or leaving again. Leastways not for the reasons she thought. His lips brushed the top of her hair, then traveled down her ear like he knew she liked, swooping across her cheek to her mouth. For a moment, she let him linger like two butterflies mating on a breeze, then she sat up again.
“Oh, no, you don't, Mr. Haynes. You can't charm me without some good explanation.” But her eyes sparkled a bit. “I had some pretty bad days there.”
“I believe I am in trouble, you using my formal name again,” he teased back. “Thing is, maybe my note blew out the window on a draft.”
“Not good enough, Mr. Haynes.” Once again she looked at him in that schoolteacher way, but by no means did her stern lips prevent his craving another kiss. Her eyebrows rose. “Since our adventures with the Peavy boys, I shut up tight at night.”
“Well, Miz Haynes, likely a good explanation will come to life.” He took his chance with another kiss, and she allowed it, closing her eyes promptly. Even better, her lips danced across his like Fara's hoofs minced through a flower garden. Her tongue teased. Down below, his manhood came to the new life only she could give it. For a flash, he remembered that last night in her arms when all the stars in the heavens had melted together at the same time.
She pulled away, and her eyes dropped shyly to her lap. “I hope so, Brixton. I've got things to say, too.”
At her words, his heart skipped a half-dozen beats, but she no longer wore the somber expressions from the days the kids got sick or lost, when she said she couldn't do it alone. She wasn't going to have to, now.
He had to let her know, and drew her close. “Well, Minda, if you can forgive me for my lapses, I can explain the nature of my errand. But most of all, I need to apologize for those bad days you had. Never was my intent.”
“Why, I don't believe you've ever apologized for anything.” She settled against him and gave him her teasing smile, but her voice turned serious.
“All I know is what happened, Brixton. Like this. I tell you I can't raise the children alone. Fara comes back into your life on a day I see you consulting over something with Tom Holden. The next morning, Neddie sees you ride off without a look back. Esperanza shows up. I think maybe you learned her news and ran off. I think you're planning to parcel off the children—I remember Tom wanting Neddie. You've left like you promised. But without a word.
“I seek out Jake and he tells me you'd never have left if you'd had to face me. Every little puzzle piece seemed to fit.”
At her words, he felt her pain straight into his gut. How could he know her so well already? How could his plan have gone so far out of kilter?
“Minda, none of your sad thoughts bear fruit.” He spoke fast and fervent, not wanting her hurts to fester. “Tom, now, he did me a service. He mentioned at Skinny Hank's that day some news he got from a cousin in the Sand Hills.”
“Sand Hills?”
“Yep. Cattle country. Not so very far from Paradise. His neighbor woke up and died two weeks past. Widow's selling the ranch fast to get back home to St. Louis. I've been thinking thoughts that came to me slow, about giving up the trail and starting my own herd. My Bonnet Race prize can get me five healthy beeves for sure, maybe six or seven if I haggle right. After all, we already got two cows.
“I took off for that rancher's widow next day, to offer my Peavy reward as down payment on her place. After leaving that note.” He stared at her, wishing he could read her thoughts.
Her eyes were bright as the sky, with no unhappiness showing. “But the farm?”
“Tom'll lease it from us these next ten, twelve years ‘til Ned's grown up some. See if he wants to farm. But I'm growing high hopes our boy'll be a cattleman like I am. What with tha
t heifer, he's showing the signs.”
“But...”
“I know what you're thinking. We got girls, too. Maybe by then we'll sell the farm, divide in thirds. But in the meantime, Tom's woman is delighted to get out of their soddie and into that fine wooden house.”
Minda smiled when he mentioned the fine wooden house she'd come to Paradise for, but her eyes were on guard.
“But none of this is gonna happen if you don't want it to,” Brix said. “I thought it a righteous surprise, but I recall just now that you aren't much one for me keeping secrets. All bargains are off with him and the widow if you don't want to go along with any of this. I know ... I know your hatmaking's bound for success and you made friends here.”
“More than friends, to be sure,” Minda said. “Caldwell made a formal offer for my hand the other day.”
He growled, feeling his finger bones up against Caldwell's face one last time. But those days were gone. He had a family now.
“Well, what'd you say?” Brix had to ask, had to know.
Minda looked down again and was so quiet for so long that he wished he hadn't asked.
“I said I'd think about it. But his question came in my darkest hour. I've told him no for certain.” Her face brightened with a laugh. “He promises he will not hold my refusal against the children at report card time.”
Brix growled again, not feeling like laughter at all, but Minda went on, “But more important than any of that was Priscilla climbing halfway up the loft ladder this morning while my back was turned, milking Mabel. You should see her, Brixton, how much she learns every single day.”
“Well, Minda, what do you say to these possibilities?” Brix took a deep breath. She hadn't said. Likely it wasn't something she could decide all at once. “Take your time. It'll be all right.”
“Let's go inside, Brixton. Priscilla must be awake from her nap by now. She knows more words each and every day.”
* * * *
A ranch of their own? He was giving up the trail? She placed her hand on her belly. Doc Viessman had confirmed it yesterday. Dreams were coming true faster than she could count.
Her news was so special she couldn't blurt it out on a rough hewn porch with Esperanza's dust still blowing.
Inside the house, Priscilla slept soundly in her little trundle. No doubt her sojourn partway up the ladder had tuckered her out.
“Now, Brixton, don't wake her up,” Minda said, wanting a proper quiet moment to share her joy.
Guiltily, Katie looked up from Minda's worktable, where she sat with the Bonnet Race hat on her head and the purple cloth in her lap.
“Firefly, what you got there?” Brixton said almost sternly.
“Don't be upset with her, Brixton. She gave it to me just now. She figured if I saw it, I couldn't stay mad at you.”
His hand on Katie's shoulder was as gentle as a father's. “Was a pretty hard secret to keep. Looks like your mama's fixing up her hat. Think she forgives me for wrecking it?”
Katie threw herself into his arms, starting a flood of tears. “Oh, Uncle Brix, it's all my fault. All mine.”
“What's gone wrong, Firefly?” He knelt in front of her, eye level, and gave her braids a kiss. “Looks like you're braiding up your hair just fine.”
“But nobody does it like you,” Katie said.
“Nobody else has got to. I'm home, Firefly. To stay. Wherever it might be.” He got to his feet, eyes on Minda. She still hadn't agreed to his wonderful plans, and she saw hope deep in his glance. “Now what's this fault of yours?”
“I didn't know ‘til now. Mama slept late that day. She was so tired.”
Minda caught Brixton's hot glance then, but it was more than likely the little load she carried that had exhausted her. Katie was clearly distraught.
“Silly woke up and I went to get some clean britches. She was toddling all over, chewing on a scrap of paper. I pulled it from her mouth. It was all crumpled up. I thought it must be trash, so I used it to kindle the stove. But Uncle Brix, I think now it was your note!”
He held tight to the sobbing child, but managed a wink at Minda. She smiled back in defeat and victory both. He had left a note like he'd said. In her heart, she had wanted to believe.
“Now listen, Firefly. You couldn't know, not ‘til just now, what that was. You dry up those tears. Looks like your new mama has something to say to me. So how about you find Ned outside and do some playing before suppertime?”
Katie kissed him on the cheek and ran out like any happy healthy child, and Minda's heart surged at Brixton's acknowledgement of her as the children's new mama. She'd never replace Ida Lou, nor would Brixton ever become more important than Norman Dale, but between the two of them, they would be all the parents the children would ever need, and more.
“Brixton, the dress fabric. It's beyond beautiful. I'm sorry Firefly ruined your surprise, but she was something like desperate.”
He grinned boyishly, but his eyes let her know he was all man. The tiny cracks in her heart had already healed, and she knew she'd go anywhere with him, and back again.
“Well,” he said, “I got it to match your lovely hat. And I am pleased it isn't beyond repair. That hat, well, Miz Haynes, I may have said it before. Other than that wedding veil of yours, nothing has ever made you look more beautiful.”
Her healing heart melted at his words, and her skin tingled from his touch.
“Thing is, Minda. I got gifts for the kids on my travels. Oglalla dolls for the girls and a drum for Ned. But that...” He pointed ruefully at the fabric. “That dress bolt was your surprise.”
“And indeed it was, Brixton. But I have a little something for you, too.”
His eyes lightened like a child's but he shook his head. “Now, Fara was more than enough.”
“I don't think so. Not when you hear. Remember you mentioned someday selling the farm and dividing the profits into thirds?”
He nodded.
“I think you'll want to try fourths.” She took his hand and laid it on her belly. As his eyes widened with wonder, she watched the realization bloom.
“Sweet Lord. Minda,” His voice and hands trembled in the same rhythm. “You sure?”
“Yes. Doc Viessman is, too.”
Tight against his chest, she heard his heart beat, arms holding him as close as they could be without the ultimate loving that she knew would keep them both awake all night long.
“Can hardly believe it,” he murmured.
She looked away with sudden anxiety. “Brixton, after Esperanza, I have no wish to have you think you're trapped.”
“Minda, this is a natural result of our love. I can't even bring my joy to words.” He gazed into her eyes. “Each time Neddie-boy yapped about needing a brother, I kept thinking about how it would be, our babe nurturing deep inside you.”
Our love? Our babe? Minda's heart soared. “Brixton, that ranch sounds like a grand place for a cattleman to raise his family. I'll be there every step of the way. And I can bring in a load of hats to sell every time we come visit Jake and Gracey.”
He squeezed her harder. “I have made my intentions known, Miz Haynes. I intend to be there every step of the way myself.”
Minda believed him, and knew he meant it as well as he could. He'd long stated he wasn't a hearth and home man, and she knew that didn't preclude his love for any of them. But she remembered her discussions with Gracey, and with Jake who knew Brixton best of all.
“Brixton, I love you. I truly do, and I've known practically forever. I've accepted you as who you are. It wouldn't be fair to do differently. You need open space, and no roof or walls. Since that's who you are, well, I won't mind if you need to take off sometimes. Just don't leave a note. Let me know for real.”
“Oh, Minda. That won't happen.”
“Tut, tut, don't make promises,” she said. “I'm just laying down some basic rules.”
“I mean it, Minda. When you're not at my side, it feels like, well, I can only describe what my old
pal Timmy Jacobson said. Truth is, I doctored his leg one time on the trail but he lost it to the gangrene anyway. He said ever after that it felt like he still had his leg attached at the hip, even though it was all the way gone.”
“So, Mr. Haynes, you are comparing me to a gangrenous leg?”
His glorious face flushed just for a moment. Then he took her in his arms. “Not at all. What I mean is, wherever you might be, wherever you might go, Minda, my home is you. And I love you. Time was I never thought I'd say the words again, much less feel them. But I do love you, Miz Haynes. With all my heart.”
With one hand, Minda brushed tears from her lashes, love and hope covering each inch of her body with a warmth she knew would comfort her all the days of her life.
“Then, Mr. Haynes, I think it's time for this,” she said, nearly breathless. She reached into her pocket for the wedding band she'd bought at the mercantile and gently took Brixton's left hand.
It fit perfectly.
[Back to Table of Contents]
* * *
About the author...
A native Californian, Tanya Hanson loves life near the Pacific coast with a real-life hero—her firefighter husband—and two very spoiled black Labs. Her son and daughter survived the college-prep classes she taught as a high school English teacher and went on to obtain their own degrees. These days she just can't get enough of her toddler grandson, but she does take time to snorkel in Hawaii and work on her rose bushes when she's not writing or reading. New England in the fall is just about her favorite place to visit, although New York City and Nebraska run close behind.
Visit her at www.tanyahanson.com
[Back to Table of Contents]
* * *
Thank you for purchasing
this Wild Rose Press publication.
