by Ann Aguirre
“You should have taken me with you,” Aevi said, as Qalu tidied up.
“Next time. We can go for a walk now if you like?”
“I don’t want to.” Aevi flounced off to hide.
She beckoned to Helix. “In that case, let’s get you set up on the extranet.”
“Many thanks.”
“You don’t have to say it for every little thing.”
“But words are all I have,” he said. “If I don’t use them, I’m truly impecunious.”
“Then…you’re very welcome.” She settled at the terminal and he joined her, not giving her as much space as he once did. His forelimb was almost close enough to brush hers, their head tendrils only a whisper away from another sensuous entwinement.
Qalu wondered if that was a conscious choice, if he had had decided to change the distance between them or if he was simply…drawn, as she was. It was impossible for her to regret the moment they’d shared at the museum. In fact, certain disorderly aspects of her would enjoy repeating the experience. And more, oh, please, more.
But no, we can’t. I shouldn’t. I’m his maker in a sense. He relies on me. In a situation where there was an imbalance of power, certain lines must not be crossed. Yet she didn’t want to discourage or shame him either.
What should I do with these feelings? What can I do?
Somehow she focused, quickly setting up an account. She didn’t need to provide the login data, as he was scanning as she worked, and his memory functions were excellent. Then she moved to permit him access. “Do you know your friend’s residential codes?”
“I do. Even if they’ve changed residences, the kith will forward correspondence.”
“Then I’ll leave you to compose a message. If you need anything, let me know.”
Qalu searched for Aevi and spent a good long while stroking her, whispering to her, and generally appeasing her. Afterward, she sliced up her favorite fruit and played a game with her, until Aevi got tired, demanded belly scratches, and then curled up for a nap.
Eventually, Helix appeared with a thoughtful mien. “You said anything.”
“What?”
“To let you know if I need anything.”
“Yes, I did say that. What is it?”
“I have questions about what happened in the museum. About why I wanted to do that. But first…” He hesitated, seeming shy, and it was adorable. “I was wondering if we could do it again. I am curious if the sensations can be reproduced.”
“You’re asking to do it again? As an experiment?”
This is a bad idea. Yet it was better to do it in the privacy of their home where nobody could make him feel ashamed of such innocent curiosity.
“With your permission.”
In answer, Qalu stepped closer, leaving the rest up to him. Everything should be his decision, the experiment his to control. Normally, she didn’t crave close contact, but now, she trembled in anticipation, primed for his touch by the memory of how powerful it had been before. Helix moved incrementally, until he was near enough for her to admire the shimmers of blue in his scales.
His head tendrils flexed and quivered, pressing forward until they wrapped around hers. Not just one this time, but many, undulating softly, and the pleasurable rush nearly took the strength from her lower limbs. At once, shocking pleasure shivered down from her head, her neck, her back, and he didn’t withdraw. Qalu thought he might not even realize how close they were, but their chests touched, points of heat through the padding of their swators.
This…this was undoubtedly a mating overture. Fully flush and open, it could only be more wanton if they were skin to skin. The tremors rolled through her as desire kindled her sex. It had been so long since she’d felt it, but the softness was unmistakable, edged deliciously with pulses of arousal.
“What’s happening?” he asked. “I feel… I don’t know what I feel.”
She didn’t want to stop. Or to talk. She wanted to teach him without words, but that would be wrong, indulging instinct when he was asking for information. Somehow she found her voice.
“Some Tiralan experience sexual urges. The desire to touch head tendrils signifies physical attraction. Doing so stimulates our erogenous zones, which quickens the body’s urge to copulate. Since you’re experiencing pleasurable stimulus, I believe you may be…awakening in that regard.”
“Presently, I am experiencing the desire to mate?”
“I think that may be the case.”
“Are you experiencing this same phenomenon?” he asked.
Qalu briefly prayed for discipline and self-control. “Yes. I find you appealing in all respects and this feels…” She lost her words when his head tendrils surged against hers, becoming a little more insistent.
“While I was aware that biological entities experienced such urges, I had no idea it was possible for me. Does this mean I could engage in sexual activity?”
You already are, she nearly said.
But that wasn’t entirely true. This was foreplay, not completion, and oh, he was good at it. She stifled a sound and repressed the longing to take things further. Somehow Qalu stood still and let the sensations spill through, ever stronger, ever more intense.
“Yes. Your body is capable of offering those experiences, if you desire them.”
“What’s the next step?” he asked. “How do I learn this?” His head tendrils rubbed even more frantically, and suddenly he was touching her, forelimbs on hers, pulling her into him. Oh, that’s good.
I shouldn’t. I shouldn’t.
I want to.
Universe, please, give me strength.
[ 7 ]
Helix had no ability to measure or assess the sensations rioting through him.
His whole body sparked with pleasurable electricity, and he craved more of those sensations. The swator that kept him from touching her skin maddened him and he grazed her bare throat, delighting in her sharp breath. He tried to sort through what he knew of Tiralan mating practices, but the information flickered just out of focus, beyond the range of his scattered senses.
She smelled…indescribable. He tucked his face against the side of her neck and simply breathed as their head tendrils coiled and slid together, each touch sending new pleasure signals streaming through him. Quivers of arousal worked through him, centering in what must be his sex. Heat built softly, creating a pleasurable tension deep within him. She must know the next steps, how to ease the ache.
But Qalu stepped back. “You…should read about Tiralan sexuality. It would be inappropriate for me to…teach you personally.”
“Why?” he asked, still reeling with the force of those feelings.
“Currently, you rely on me for many things. Allowing an intimate relationship between us would be irresponsible. Possibly, it would also be abusive. You have no one else, and we cannot…experiment while you lack other recourse.”
He considered that as heated impulses cooled. “I understand. But is our relationship not already intimate? We cohabitate and share meals. From my observations of Zylar and Beryl Bowman, continual proximity often leads to attraction between organic beings.”
“Experiencing attraction and acting on it are two separate issues. Just because something feels good, that doesn’t mean it’s the correct choice. Often there are reasons why restraint is the better course.”
“Because you’re afraid of harming me,” Helix said.
“I’m afraid you will regret your choice later, and I won’t indulge myself at your expense. I want to help you learn, not take advantage of your innocence and inexperience.”
Somehow, even though she was refusing him, he experienced a warm glow in that rejection because it came from deep concern. “Then…I apologize for getting carried away.
Such stimulation is novel, and I have no parameters for moderation.”
“You’ve done nothing wrong,” she said. “I ought to have restrained myself.”
“I’m glad that you’re attracted to me,” he said. Tha
t reaction came from a place deeper than desire, a wellspring of wishful thinking. Even if they couldn’t act on it, he enjoyed the fact that she found him appealing; that awareness was satisfying in ways that he had no means to articulate.
“Take pleasure in it then, I suppose. I can’t help it, even if it’s inappropriate.”
Her wry tone amused him. “For what it’s worth, I do not believe that you are capable of harming me, even unintentionally. Yet I cherish your caution.”
“I should work for a while,” she said then. “I’ll leave you to your art. Or however you choose to dedicate your time.”
Helix wasn’t ready to part from her, but she hurried off as if she had an urgent task pressing. Once she’d gone, he wondered if he could assist with her experiments. While he enjoyed indulging a previously unknown creative drive, he also experienced fierce curiosity regarding her research—indeed, for all things related to Qalu. He could conceive of no reason why she would refuse competent aid and it would permit him to spend more time with her.
Yet when he went to her research space, she wasn’t there. He passed Aevi, who was on her way out, off to frolic in the darktide, as she frequently enjoyed. “Have you seen Qalu?” he asked.
“She’s retired for a rest.” With that, the little one darted outside.
Strange. She said she intended to work.
Cautious but concerned, he sought her out, intending to make sure that she was well. The sounds coming from her room stopped him just outside. Breathless urgency vibrated in each exhalation, kindling an instant response in him, though his riotous urges had begun to settle. He had no conscious knowledge of what was happening, his body seemed to grasp the situation immediately, brightening with fresh excitement.
She is…satisfying herself.
Helix had only a vague notion of what that entailed, thanks to incomplete research on Tiralan physiology. He had focused on knowledge that would allow him to pose as Asvi, but it had never occurred to him to make sexual overtures to Zylar or to imagine how such an exchange might take place. Now, he suspected that such interaction might take place remotely between two beings who were drawn to one another.
Lingering would be wrong, an invasion of her privacy, so he forced himself to move away, not to tarry as she touched herself for pleasure. His whole body tingled with unspent impulses, impossible to focus on anything else. Research might provide some relief, explaining how he could do the same, so he settled at the terminal, keying up a detailed study on Tiralan sexuality. Helix skimmed through the male and female portions, fixing on the neutral aspect.
Delicate gynosome and a dorsal slit. Each offer pleasure when stimulated.
The information conveyed the sense that experimentation was required to determine what he would enjoy most and what offered stimulation sufficient to bring himself to completion. If Qalu was doing that, there must be a reason. He read on.
Creates beneficial chemicals, relieves stress… it’s good for the body, then. I should look on this as a required function.
He left the terminal determined to try for himself. First, he secured the door. No interruptions for such a personal maintenance task. Then he removed his swator and examined his form as best he could. The slit was puffy and soft while the gynosome above was stiff and quivering. There had been illustrations and photographic models of how he could excite himself, so he settled onto the sleep platform and brushed a forelimb against those tender parts. Pleasure slammed through him, strong enough to steal his breath.
Now he understood the sounds Qalu had been making. He tried from various angles, and received irregular bursts of stimulation, but he didn’t have the knack on his own. Frustration grew as he experimented, failing to find the right method. What was Qalu doing to make those sounds? Suddenly, the sensations sharpened. Thinking about her doing this, in her room, aroused him more than his fumbling efforts. She must be rubbing herself, just so, perhaps remembering how it felt when their head tendrils worked together. Now he imagined her lying close to him, touching—
Oh.
Helix found the rhythm, alternating strokes, and when he stiffened and quivered, he was still hearing Qalu in his head. He gasped her name at the height of release and fell back, breathing hard. The study underestimated how good he felt afterward, the glowing sensation and absolute relaxation. For a time, Helix slept, and when he joined Qalu for dinner later, he gave no sign that he knew what she’d done—or what he’d done in response to that information.
They chatted amicably about future plans and played with Aevi afterward. It occurred to him that he’d never known such contentment. Since Qalu asked for nothing, he wanted to give her everything.
But I have nothing to give.
Nothing except his body, which she’d said was inappropriate. He didn’t feel helpless or victimized, but she was right in that he had no other resources. Perhaps if he became self-sufficient, capable of looking after himself, she would allow a deeper connection. But if that came to pass, he would also have no reason to stay.
The conundrum gnawed at him.
“Is something wrong?” she asked.
Both she and Aevi were staring. Possibly he had been silent too long, leaving a question unanswered. Before he had to admit that he had not been attending to the conversation, the chime rang, signaling that they had a visitor.
“That better not be Inatol and the rest of my mothers. They were just here!”
“Shall I greet our caller?”
Qalu was already hurrying toward the front of the domicile. “I’ll do it.” A pause, as she made her way to the entrance. “How can I help you?”
A booming voice rang out, audible even where Helix stood. “Apologies for intruding so late, but it’s an urgent matter. Agent Atarr and I represent the ATA. We have some questions regarding a recent incident. May we come in?”
ATA. He retrieved a memory regarding Tiralan agencies and recalled that acronym stood for Adjutant Travel Authority. Judging by her tight expression upon returning, this intrusion heralded nothing good. There were two Tiralan with her, clad in uniform swators, badges on their shoulders. Stiff bearing reinforced their martial affiliations, and Qalu seemed downright fearful. All the relaxation Helix had enjoyed evaporated, as he gleaned there was reason to fear.
“Is something wrong?” he asked her.
One of the visitors responded, “We hope not, but that’s what we’re here to find out.”
“Sorry?” Qalu said.
“There was a crash nearby. We’re investigating the possibility that there might have been a fugitive on board.”
Every cell in Qalu’s body chilled to subzero but she couldn’t reveal her sudden fear.
“Please come in,” she said, bending in a gracious greeting.
The two agents stepped into her domicile wearing somber expressions, suitable for their vocation. Each returned her bow, then the other one spoke for the first time. “Thank you for your cooperation. We’ll try not to take up too much of your time.”
Her thoughts raced frantically. If they asked to see Helix’s identification documents and travel clearances, she didn’t have those prepared. As a scientist, she had little experience in scheming, and while she’d managed to fool her mothers, an actual inquiry represented a separate challenge entirely. Probably she ought to have foreseen this complication instead of being caught off-guard.
Should I pretend not to know about the crash? What’s the best way to handle this?
The fireball had been visible from her residence—and that was why she had raced out to investigate—so pleading ignorance likely wouldn’t work. Qalu decided to attack before they could. “If I’m thinking of the same incident, that was quite some time ago. Why are you only investigating the matter now?”
Agent Atarr reflected abashment in responding, “Our department has been swamped and prior ATA scans indicated the crash involved a remotely piloted vessel with no one on board.”
“You must have reason to doubt that information?” Her
tone made it a question.
“Indeed. A bounty hunter has contacted us regarding a serious matter. We’re not at liberty to disclose details, so I’d appreciate if you permitted me to ask the questions.”
A bounty hunter? Silently, Qalu cursed. She needed more information, but the agent had shut her down, politely but firmly. It would be suspicious if she persisted. “Certainly. I’m at your disposal.”
The other agent settled and Qalu did the same, not wanting to appear anxious though it was difficult to control her head tendrils. “Pardon my discourtesy. I’m Agent Orlon. And we realize it’s late so we will endeavor to make this quick.”
“Would you like refreshments?” Qalu asked.
Hospitality might give her a moment to think, at least. The two agents traded a look, then Atarr said, “That would be most kind.”
“Will you help me prepare the drinks?” She directed the question at Helix, hoping he would take the cue and follow her.
So far, he hadn’t spoken, but he must be aware that these ATA investigators were searching for him. If he had bounty hunters after him, he must have been fleeing from a bad situation, something dreadful that occurred in the lost portion of his memory. Or perhaps it was simpler than that? Certain factions maintained unjustified hatred of inorganic life, so he might have been persecuted by such a group. Another possible scenario was that a collector or innovator wanted to study his inner workings or use him in some respect.
None of those options were favorable.
Helix hurried after her quietly and didn’t speak until they reached the beverage fabricator. Even then, his voice came out soft, pitched not to carry. “Have I put you at risk?”
That’s what he’s worried about?
Qalu had already been determined to protect him, no matter why he was being hunted, but that solidified her resolve. Such innate kindness—she couldn’t believe he’d done anything worthy of being hunted. It was far more probable that those chasing him had nefarious intentions. She gazed at him for a long moment.
