She shook her head, smiling at the thought, and took a step toward the prism. No, she hadn’t ever touched one, but she’d sure chased her share of them. And much like love, they’d always been an unattainable illusion. But this one was so close, and just like the man behind her, only an arm’s length away. Dismissing the metaphorical irony, she stepped toward the colorful arch of light and reached for her rainbow—and missed.
Was she really surprised? Story of my life…
She was lowering her hand when Balen came up beside her. “Here.” He slid his arm beneath her bottom and hoisted her up. His other hand rested on her hip, holding her steady. Her thigh and calf were braced against his bare chest, the side of her foot resting against his abdomen. Her toes itched to curl into the muscular divots. She tried but failed not to notice how warm his hard-muscled flesh was against her bare skin or the ease with which he held her suspended in the air.
“Touch it before it disappears.”
It took a moment for her mind to engage and realize what he was telling her, because the same thing could be said for himself. Three days…that was all they had left together.
“There’s maybe fifteen minutes every day where the sun is at the perfect angle and reflects off the water, lighting the cave and creating a prism effect.”
Autumn lifted her hand, sweeping it though the arch. She was so fascinated by the cool, colorful mist, she didn’t notice Balen’s hand leaving her hip or reaching into his pocket until she heard the snick of his camera.
“What are you doing?” she asked, smiling down at him.
“Now you can add ‘touched a rainbow’ to your scrapbook of things you did in Cyprus.”
Autumn was pretty sure her heart melted right then and there. The invisible band around her chest tightened, her pulse quickening in protest to the stirring of emotions she had no business feeling for this guy. What was he doing? Was he trying to make her fall in love with him? Did he realize what stuff like this did to a woman’s heart? For a guy who didn’t believe in love, he sure was in touch with his romantic side.
He pocketed his cell and returned his hand to her hip. His gaze shot past her shoulder as she sat there staring down at him. He nodded for her to look behind her, seemingly unaware of his emotional assault or the devastating affect it was having on her. “There it goes.”
She tore her eyes away from his handsome face just in time to see the prism slowly fade and then disappear. And just like that, her beautiful rainbow was gone—as if it had never happened. But it did happen, and something profound and irrevocable was also happening inside her heart. It scared the crap out of her because she could not let herself fall in love with this man. The futility of it all brought tears to her eyes and she fought against the burn, not wanting him to see her getting emotional.
“Could you please put me down?” She kept her gaze averted while she fought to rein in her tears. She wasn’t a crier, dammit, but her struggle over the last few years was real, leaving her far more wounded and broken than she’d ever have admitted to herself, let alone anyone else. Obviously, she had issues if some guy she hardly knew could bring her to tears by showing her a rainbow. But it wasn’t just a rainbow. Not to her, anyway—and there-in lay the problem. Balen couldn’t know the significance they held for her. For most, they symbolized hope and new beginnings, but for Autumn they marked a void in her life, one that would never be filled.
She’d been staring out the window at a beautiful rainbow the day the doctor had given her news that had ripped away her last shred of hope and ultimately destroyed her marriage. She’d thought it ironic then that something symbolizing promises and new beginnings would ultimately be the harbinger of her divorce. But just maybe she’d misinterpreted the sign. Perhaps her marriage was doomed to fail regardless of her medical report and that rainbow should have been a reminder that, even though her world was about to fall apart, there was still hope for her because the truth was, she’d never felt more alive than she had these past four days.
Balen lowered her to the ground and the moment her feet touched the rocky surface, she turned away. But he was fast, catching her arm and grasping her chin, gently tipping her face up toward his. Her breath stalled in her lungs when she met that amber-flecked stare studying her intently with genuine concern.
“What’s wrong, Autumn?”
“Nothing.” I’m scared to death I’m going to fall in love with you. “It was so beautiful, and then over so fast. I just wasn’t ready for it to end, that’s all.” Of course, he’d think she was talking about the rainbow.
Cradling her face, he brushed his thumbs over her cheeks, wiping away the moisture escaping her eyes as he watched her. “I know how you feel.”
Did he? Did he really?
“But, Autumn, nothing lasts forever.”
Was he talking about rainbows or them? Maybe both.
“Enjoy the moment while it lasts because everything has an expiration date—you, me, even the stars in the sky. It does no good to mourn what is beyond your control.”
“Have you always been so pragmatic?” You’d never have known it by looking at him, but Balen was a surprisingly complex man who appeared to live a very simple philosophy. She could learn a lot from him—about letting go and moving on.
Forcing a smile, she reached up and slipped her hands around his neck. He had a point with his “enjoy the moment” advice, but it was easier said than done—he wasn’t the one worried about getting his heart broken.
“Pragmatism is a byproduct of loss. It teaches you not to hold onto things too tightly. It’s as futile as trying to catch the wind.”
“That’s why you stopped believing in love?”
“That’s why I stopped believing in a lot of things.”
Chapter Eighteen
Was it possible that Balen was just as broken as she was? Were they in another time, another place, she might have taken on the challenge of proving him wrong—sometimes life wasn’t about letting go, it was about holding on.
“It feels like you’re holding on pretty tightly right now,” she challenged.
He flashed her a roguish grin that might have held a hint of regret. “This is just me ‘enjoying the moment,’ because I know I’m going to have let you go soon.”
Before his words fully sank in, Balen’s mouth was on hers. The hot crush of his lips sent a sizzle of electricity coursing through her veins. His hands reached up to tangle into her hair. She gasped at the sharp tug that was more surprising than painful. The way he took control and thoroughly consumed her with his kiss made her wonder if she wouldn’t enjoy him dominating her in other ways. She thought she might like to find out.
Autumn sensed an undercurrent of possession in his touch and it both frightened and excited her. He’d told her earlier he was trying to hold back, and if this was Balen restrained, what would he be like unleashed? Just kissing him made her feel like she was drowning, but in the most pleasurable way imaginable. His tongue swept into her mouth, tangling with hers, then retreated to nip her bottom lip. He licked away the sting, a throaty groan that sounded equal parts pain and pleasure rumbling deep in his chest.
“Tell me to stop, Autumn…” He growled the demand against her lips. “Before you make a liar out of me and I break my vow and fuck you right here in this cave.”
His vulgar honesty surprised her, but not as much as the hot need flooding through her at those graphic words. She wasn’t sure she wanted him to stop. In fact, she was rather certain she didn’t. He felt too good. Too right. His mouth was on her neck, sucking that sensitive spot over her pounding pulse. The accelerated tempo of his breaths marked his failing restraint as her hands explored the map of muscles over his pecs and down his stomach. Her thumb was tracing the divot near his hip when a chorus of shrill laughter echoed on the other side of the falls. She might have convinced herself she’d imagined it if not for Balen’s snarled curse.
The voices were growing closer by the second and she could physically feel the e
ffort it took for him to let her go and step back. His hand dropped between his legs to adjust his erection, the length dangerously close to straining past the waistband of his board shorts, when a couple came splashing through the curtain of water.
They startled when they saw them, appearing surprised to discover they weren’t alone. “Oh… Sorry, man. We didn’t realize anyone was here.”
Balen reached for Autumn’s hand before turning toward the couple. “No worries. We were just leaving.”
2:15 a.m.
2:16 a.m.
2:17 a.m.
Autumn stared at the clock on the nightstand, watching the numbers tick interminably by. After leaving the waterfall, Balen had taken her to dinner. Of course, the food was fantastic and she’d had a great time with him, but to her surprise and admitted disappointment, Balen did not try picking up where they’d left off in the cave. In fact, he’d been the perfect gentleman all night.
If she hadn’t experienced that mind-numbing kiss in the cave, heard the strain in his voice as he struggled for control, she never would have believed it happened. Oh, but it had, and it was playing through her mind on an endless loop, robbing her of sleep. Her fingertips tingled with the phantom ache of feeling his flesh stretched over all that sinew and muscle.
No man had ever had made her so hot, or made her feel so good. They’d shared a connection in that cave. She couldn’t describe it. She wasn’t even sure what it was, but it made her chest feel tight and her heart beat a little bit faster…
No… she told herself when that stirring of emotion began churning inside her. You are not falling for this guy. But, damn, maybe she was. She’d never met a man like him. Make-out sessions aside, she couldn’t remember when she’d had so much fun just being with someone. Sure, she and Summer had a blast when they were together, but Balen was a different sort of fun. The kind that made her pulse quicken and her core ache. Just thinking about it, about him, had her shifting uncomfortably in bed. The Egyptian cotton sheets felt like sandpaper against her overheated skin.
Exhaling a frustrated sigh, she tossed the offending bedding aside and lay there letting the ceiling fan cool her.
2:23. It seemed like the harder she tried to rest, the more elusive sleep became. Autumn closed her eyes, trying to forget that hunger in Balen’s eyes. It had been the most erotic thing she’d ever seen. No man had ever looked at her like that—as if she were the very air he breathed…
Autumn’s cell chirped. She reached for it, wondering who would be texting her at two-thirty in the morning. And then she remembered it was afternoon back in the states, and Summer was probably just checking in. Foregoing any hope of sleep, she grabbed her cell and swiped her thumb over the screen.
The text wasn’t from Summer. Balen was sending her the pictures he’d taken of them. The first one that came through was of her on the paddle board, then their selfie of him kissing her cheek. She scrolled lower and found the one of her touching the rainbow.
Was it the vacation that put the carefree smile on her face or was it something more? Before she could think on it any longer, her cell chimed and a new message came up.
More pics for your scrapbook. I had a fun day with you.
So did she. A lot more fun than she ought to have had. Are you still awake? Maybe she wasn’t the only one suffering from insomnia.
Yeah, I can’t sleep. Every time I close my eyes a gorgeous redhead keeps haunting my dreams. The sound of her crying my name as she comes against my tongue keeps waking me up.
Holy shit! What happened to the gentleman? Had they really done that? God, she wished she could remember. At the thought of it, a rush of heat swept through her body, igniting her core. Her pulse quickened. She couldn’t believe he’d just said that to her. How was she supposed to respond to that?
Before she could formulate a reply, another message came through.
In case you were wondering, THIS is sexting. ;)
She laughed, remembering their conversation that first evening when she’d accused him of sexting her when he was just trying to return her declaration papers. What should she do? Should she sext him back? What would she even say? She’d never done anything like this before. Balen was just down the hall…five little steps away, which made it seem even more forbidden. But there were two doors separating them, and the barriers emboldened her to reply.
I figured that out when my panties got wet. If I keep thinking about your tongue, I’ll never get to sleep.
A moment later, she was pretty sure she heard a tortured groan echo from the spare bedroom. She bit her bottom lip to hold back her laugh, afraid he’d quit sexting her if he knew she could hear him. Autumn was going to torment him and have a wickedly fun time doing it. Before she could send him another message, a new one appeared.
I think you should take them off…
Oh boy… So he was going there. My panties? What makes you think I haven’t already? She hit send and hooked her lacy thong with her thumbs, dragging it down her thighs. If she was going to do this, then she was really going to do it. Sadly, she hadn’t been kidding when she’d told him she was wet. The power Balen held over her was startling—that he could command her body through a freaking text message...
Do you have any idea how hard I am right now?
Are you naked?
I’m about to be. You?
She pulled her nightshirt off before sending a reply. Completely bare.
You should lock your bedroom door.
Why?
Because if you don’t I’m afraid I won’t to be able to stay away.
Did she want him to? Autumn was torn… This was fun, it was safe, and there was no doubt in her mind that if Balen walked through that door they’d be having sex. But was she ready? She thought maybe she was. Only now she had to figure out a way to keep her heart from getting involved. This would have been so much easier if he could have been her One and Done—no emotional attachment, but then look at everything else she’d have missed out on. Experiences she wouldn’t have traded for the world.
Autumn decided to err on the side of caution. They still had more time to take that step and she needed to figure out a way to disconnect her heart. Climbing out of bed, she walked over to her door and turned the lock before sending the message. Door’s locked, temptation averted.
Hardly. Are you in bed?
I am.
Where are your hands?
Where do you want them?
I want one between your legs and the other on your cell so you can keep texting me.
Autumn slowly slid her hand down her stomach to her wet center. It surprised her how turned on she was, though why shouldn’t she be? Everything Balen did seemed to turn her on. I’ve never done this. She wasn’t sure why she felt the need to confess that to him.
Never done what? Touched yourself, or done it while on the phone with a guy who was doing the same thing?
Oh wow. The thought of Balen sprawled out on his bed—naked—with his aroused length fisted in his hand was a mental image she wouldn’t soon forget. The muscles of her empty core clenched, longing to be filled. Of course she’d touched herself before, lots of times, but never with someone else on the other end of a phone. Maybe Balen wasn’t here in the flesh, but he was still here—just down the hall, which was oddly erotic. With someone else on the phone.
Does it make you feel any better to know that I haven’t either?
He hadn’t? The thought of being his first at anything excited her. If she’d wavered in what they were about to do, she wasn’t anymore. Tell me what it feels like.
Sweet torture. I’m remembering how beautiful you look in my arms, and how delicious you taste. I’m so worked up right now my cock is weeping like a baby. Touch yourself the same way I wish I was touching you.
She slipped two fingers inside her empty channel, imagining it was Balen. She pictured his hard, muscled body stretched taut on that bed one room down from hers—his hand fisting his cock in a brutal grip to keep himself f
rom coming as the escaped liquid rolled over his fingers, slicking his shaft. It's not the same without your tongue.
Just say the word, baby, and I’m there.
Her thumb hovered over the keypad, working up the courage to take things further. It was a big step. There would be no turning back… Autumn found her sweet spot and the tension began to coil low in her belly. Balen, I’m getting close.
Seconds ticked by before another message came through. Autumn, I can’t hold back any longer. I’m going to come.
Several heartbeats later, a low, throaty groan echoed down the hall. The raw, guttural sound was all it took to send her spiraling over the edge. She didn’t try to muffle her release. Autumn’s moan filled the room, Balen’s name a breathy cry on her lips. A fine sheen of sweat coated her body as she lay there catching her breath, the euphoria slowly fading. Several moments passed before her cell buzzed again.
I love the way you sound when you come.
I was just thinking the same thing about you.
Good to know I do it for you.
You totally do.
Goodnight, Autumn.
Goodnight, Balen.
Chapter Nineteen
At some point during the night, Autumn must have fallen asleep, because the next time she opened her eyes and glanced at the clock, it was nearly ten a.m. Damn, she hadn’t wanted to sleep this late. The days were flying by too fast as it was. Before she knew it, her vacation would be over and she’d be getting back on a plane headed for Montana. At the thought of leaving, a knot of dread twisted in her gut.
Was it Balen she didn’t want to leave, or the island? There was something magical about the place. The history and mythology… It was almost like love saturated the air. One didn’t have to believe in such things to become caught up in the culture of it. It could cloud a person’s perceptions, make them feel things, want things. Which left her wondering, was the connection she felt with Balen real or just an illusion?
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