He’d be the first to admit that he’d fucked up by allowing her to believe he was someone he wasn’t. And he’d gladly own that, but in his defense, all his adult life women wanted to be with him because he was “Balen Kroft.” The irony wasn’t lost on him that for the first time, he could lose the woman he loved because of it. Knowing Autumn, she would probably prefer the unemployed beach bum to a world-famous surfer. Not that he could blame her, that guy came with a lot a baggage he wasn’t proud of.
Autumn straight up told him she despised deception, and although he hadn’t outright lied to her, he doubted she’d see it that way. She had trust issues, and after the way her asshole of an ex had treated her, it was perfectly understandable why. Balen couldn’t help but wonder if Autumn would allow her past to prevent her from grasping hold of a future with him. He needed her to believe he was worth the risk.
“Balen, this isn’t the way back to the villa. Where are you taking me?”
“You’ll see.”
Ten minutes later, they were pulling into his driveway.
“What are we doing at your brother’s house?”
A stab of guilt twisted in his gut. He ignored the question and cut the engine, hopping out and heading around to the passenger door. Balen pulled it open and offered her his hand. “Come on.” He flashed her one of those smiles she seemed to find irresistible and helped her climb out. He led her past the side of her house and toward the beach. When he glanced back, her head was craned around, admiring the view. “If you don’t watch where you’re going, you’re going to trip,” he teased.
“Sorry. This place is just so beautiful. I can’t imagine what it’d be like to live here.”
With any luck, she’d soon find out.
“You never told me what your brother does for a living.”
No, he hadn’t. “He’s in PR services.”
“Wow. I didn’t realize that paid so well.”
“I suppose that depends on who you’re representing.” Since he was his brother’s client, the job paid quite well—not that Connor wasn’t great at what he did and worth every penny. And considering the damage control Balen had been throwing his way lately, he should probably have given the guy a raise. In addition to saving his ass, Connor handled all of Balen’s business and worked closely with Bradford. He told Balen where to be and when to be there. He scheduled and coordinated all his sponsorships and interviews. In truth, he’d be lost without him. Contrary to popular belief, career surfing wasn’t just about riding the next wave.
“Watch your step,” he cautioned as they headed down the stone path toward the beach. It was getting dark, but the full moon reflecting off the water lit the yard well enough to see where they were going.
“None of this impresses you, does it?”
Balen felt resistance on his hand and turned back to look at her and shrugged. “Should it? It’s just stuff. You want to know what impresses me?”
“I do.”
She had no idea. Her smile was nearly too kissable to resist. Slipping his arms around her, he pulled her close and whispered, “The way the moonlight reflects in your hair.” He lifted a fiery strand and twisted it around his finger. “The way your eyes remind me of the ocean. I’m impressed by how utterly beautiful you are, inside and out.”
And there was that look, the one that made his heart feel too big for his chest and his lungs hungry to breathe in her scent. He stood there a moment, awestruck by the rare glimpse of vulnerability and the unguarded emotion he saw staring back at him. She felt it too—this thing between them—but he could tell it also scared her.
Impulsively, Balen kicked off his shoes and socks, and knelt in the sand to pull off Autumn’s. “What are you doing?” she laughed, shifting her weight to lift one leg then the other at his insistence. As soon as her French-tipped toenails touched the sand, they curled into the warm grains still clinging to the heat of the day. The breeze was cool coming off the sea, just enough that he couldn’t tell whether her nipples beaded from desire or the crisp night air.
Balen pulled out his cell and snapped a pic of their feet in the sand for her scrapbook, and hoped by tomorrow she’d be agreeing to add many more pages to that book with him. Opening his iTunes, he selected a song he hadn’t heard in over five years.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Music began wafting softly from Balen’s cell as he slipped it back into his pocket. Before she realized what he was doing, he pulled her into his arms and they began dancing—right there on the beach. Emotion lodged in her throat; building in her eyes, but she fought back the tears, refusing to cry. This was, without a doubt, the most romantic thing anyone had ever done with her. And the song… Sea of Love. He couldn’t have known it was one of her favorites.
Autumn slid her arms around his back and rested her cheek against his chest as they slowly swayed to the music. She closed her eyes and let him lead, moving her body in rhythm with his. He was a good dancer and they fit together like they were made for each other. She hadn’t experienced many, but some moments in life were too perfect to feel real, and this was one of them. If she wasn’t careful, she was going to get swept up in a fairy tale she didn’t believe in any more than Balen did. But it was hard not to fall under this romantic spell when his arms were holding her like he never wanted to let her go. This was dangerous thinking, and as the song played on, she kept reminding herself that this wasn’t real life. She was on vacation. It wasn’t going to last.
But, Lord…it felt real. The warm sand between her toes, Balen’s arms holding her close, his masculine scent blending perfectly with the briny air coming off the water. She took a deep breath, holding it in her lungs and wishing, like with Balen, she’d never have to let it go. She could feel his strong, steady heartbeat against her breast, his cheek resting on top of her head. She felt protected and cherished in his arms as they danced together in the moonlight.
The words, I love you, two-stepped in her mind to the same soulful melody as their feet. When the song eventually faded, and Balen’s steps slowed, regret pinched sharply in her chest. This was the moment she wanted to last forever, and all too soon, it was over. Autumn bit her bottom lip to hold back the protest, to stop herself from begging him to play it again and never let her go.
When he took a step back, she couldn’t meet his eyes. The emotion gripping her heart left her raw and exposed. Balen nudged her chin up with his knuckle until she finally lifted her gaze. “That’s it. That’s the look that makes me feel like the luckiest man in the world.” His lips brushed over hers with a light caress—soft and slow, as if savoring the feeling of her mouth against his, her breath in his lungs. His throaty groan was a sensual rumble she felt like a shockwave rolling through her. Autumn parted her lips, inviting him to enter, and was quickly greeted by his tongue.
He deepened the kiss, devouring her like a starving man and she was his feast. The urgency with which he touched her became contagious and soon they were in the sand, hastily pulling each other’s clothes off. “Balen, wait.” She grabbed his forearm, stopping him from unclasping her bra as she was hit with déjà vu. “Your brother… What if he sees us out here again?”
He twisted his fingers and her bra came loose, slipping down her arms and exposing her breasts to the cool sea air and his hungry gaze. Before she could utter another protest, he whispered against her lips, “He won’t be back until tomorrow. The house is all ours.”
That was all the encouragement she needed. Autumn yanked his shirt off as Balen finished stripping her.
“Since that first night I met you, I’ve wanted to make love to you on the beach.”
His confession sent her already racing heart kicking into a new tempo. Although it had only been a week, hearing him speak of that night felt like a lifetime ago. So much had happened since then. So much had changed between them. Balen had managed to do something she swore no man ever would. He’d given her hope, and he was teaching her to trust again—to love again.
Serenaded by t
he waves caressing the shore, a light breeze cooled her flushed skin, teasing her nipples to sensitive peaks as Balen worshiped her with his mouth. By the time he crawled between her legs and slipped his shaft along her sensitive folds, Autumn was begging him for release. But Balen took his time, entering her with slow, gentle thrusts, not stopping until he was seated deep inside her.
She loved the feeling of him filling her, loved the surrender she felt every time she gave herself over to him. He slipped his hands beneath her back, fingers curling over her shoulders and anchoring her in place as his pace began to quicken, soon matching the urgency consuming her.
“Autumn…”
Hearing her name uttered in that husky groan was all it took to send her over the edge. She shattered, the force of her climax ripping through her.
“Aw…fuck,” he growled, thrusting harder, deeper. The explosion of heat blasting against her sensitive core intensified Autumn’s orgasm and she cried out, clinging to Balen as she gave herself over to the blissful waves carrying her out to sea—a sea of love…
So this is what love feels like…
Balen marveled at the emotion swelling inside his chest as Autumn lay snuggled in his arms. The sound of the water lapping the shore filled the contemplative silence stretching between them as he thought back to his father’s advice given one afternoon while they were repairing one of his surfboards.
Don’t settle, son. Wait until you find a woman who makes your heart beat in time with hers. She’ll be the first thing you think about in the morning, the last thing you think about at night, and all you think about in between. You’ll experience a sense of peace when you’re with her that passes understanding. That’s when you’ll know you’ve found the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with...
His father’s words of wisdom resonated somewhere deep inside him. His arms involuntarily flexed, hugging her closer until her breasts were crushed against his side, and through his ribs he could feel her heart beating in rhythm with his. But the peace he wanted to revel in was overshadowed by the uncertainty of their future. He couldn’t keep putting this off. He needed to tell the truth. Working up the courage to speak, his heart sped, racing out of tempo with hers. He stared up at the starlit sky and studied the sparkling lights, wishing to God the words he was searching for could have been found there in the heavens. He had one shot at getting this right and he was so scared of messing it up.
“I’ve never danced in the moonlight before.”
Her voice cut into his thoughts—a welcome reprieve he couldn’t help but think was a stay of execution. Placing a kiss on top of her head, he whispered, “You deserve a man who will dance with you every day for the rest of your life.” As he said those words, a subtle ache bloomed in his chest, because he wondered if he’d ever get the chance to be that man for her. He didn’t want to let her down, didn’t want to hurt her. Which posed the question, was he as good for Autumn as she was for him? Shit, he needed to tell her the truth.
“That’s one of my favorite songs, you know—Sea of Love. I’m surprised you had it on your playlist. You don’t strike me as the kind of guy who listens to love songs.”
He chuckled, reaching up and running his fingers through her hair. “I’m not. It’s the only one I have. It was my parents’ song. I downloaded it after they died. My mom was a big Phil Phillips fan. She played his music all the time, and whenever that song would come on, my dad would dance with her. I haven’t listened to it in years.”
The significance of what he’d done didn’t fully hit him until that moment, and when it did, emotion clogged his throat. He’d danced with her to his parents’ song…
Balen was silent for the longest time, struggling to work up the courage to tell her the truth, to tell her how he felt about her. She must have felt the tension building inside him, because Autumn lifted her head and studied him a moment before asking, “Balen, is everything all right?”
His heart hammered inside his chest, his throat dry as ash as he prepared to put his heart on the line. Anxiety sank its claws into him. Suddenly restless, he sat up and exhaled a breath, scrubbing his hand over the back of his neck. “Autumn, we need to talk.”
His tone must have warned her she wasn’t going to like whatever it was he had to say. Apprehension filled her eyes, subtle tension stiffening her body as he watched her guard come up, those walls she hid behind slamming back into place. Awesome. He hadn’t even started to speak and already she was defensive. This wasn’t going to go well. Before he could work up his nerve to say anything more, she cut him off.
“Balen, can we… Can we please do this tomorrow? Tonight has been perfect and I just want it to stay that way. I don’t want anything to ruin it.”
Fuck. How could he say no? He’d waited this long to tell her, one more night wouldn’t make any difference the coward in him rationalized when the guilt was quick to rise up and call him a selfish bastard.
But she wanted perfection—a night she would never forget. He would gladly give her that.
Tomorrow. He would tell her tomorrow.
Chapter Thirty
“If you like Pina coladas, and getting caught in the rain…”
Autumn startled awake at the sound of her cell going off and shot the offending device an angry glare. Summer had programmed the obnoxious ringtone into both their cells in preparation for their vacation. She needed to remember to change that. Exhaling a sigh, she flopped back in the big, soft bed. The expulsion of air from the pillows stirred Balen’s scent and she drew a deep breath, rolling over and burying her face in the downy softness. The bed was empty, and by the sound of the crashing waves outside, she was pretty sure she knew where he was. Lifting her head, she looked out the window to the water and smiled.
Yep. Found him…
Autumn had no idea what time it was, only that it was still early—too early to be up. She’d been awake most of the night and well into the early morning. After taking her a second time on the beach, Balen had carried her up to the house—which BTW, was absolutely stunning. They’d showered together, washing off the sand, before climbing into a guest bed where he’d proceeded to make love to her over and over again.
She stretched beneath the sheets, enjoying the feeling of the Egyptian cotton against her bare skin, teasing her overly sensitive nipples. She savored the dull ache between her legs, a lazy, sated grin tugging at her lips. In all her life, she’d never been so wonderfully and thoroughly possessed. By the time Balen had finished with her, there hadn’t been a part left untouched, unowned by him. Last night had been amazing, wonderful, spectacular... Only one thing would have made it more perfect—three little words she’d been hoping to hear.
“If you like Pina coladas…”
Abandoning all hope of getting back to sleep, Autumn groaned in defeat and reached across the bed, plucking her cell off the nightstand. “Hey, Summer.”
“It’s about time you answered. I was starting to get worried when you didn’t respond to my S.O.S. You left a girl hanging. That’s not like you.”
“I’m sorry. Balen and I were…busy. I didn’t see your message.”
“—ges. Messages, Autumn. I sent you like five of them, waiting to be rescued from my awful date. When I got a call that my apartment was on fire, I thought you’d finally come through for me, except guess what? My apartment was on fire!”
“Holy shit, Summer! I’m so sorry! Are you all right? Was anyone hurt?”
“Everyone’s fine, but there’s a lot of smoke damage. I’ll need a place to stay while they renovate the apartment. I hope it’s okay, I moved in with you.”
“Of course it’s all right. I—”
“Hey, what’s the deal with your next door neighbor?”
“Who? Cullen? I don’t know him. We’ve barely talked.” They’d exchanged a brief introduction while passing each other in the hall, but he’d seemed perfectly nice. “He was moving in when I left last week.”
“Well, that crazy bastard almost sh
ot me!”
“What? Cullen pulled a gun on you?”
“Okay, well in his defense, I was breaking in. But he didn’t have to go all SEAL Team Six on my ass. I thought I was in your apartment. FYI, you two both have the same bedroom curtains.”
Autumn’s hand flew up to muffle her laughter, but she was too late. “You climbed into Cullen’s bedroom window?”
“Yeah, it was real funny, Autumn. Of course it was dark, so I had no idea I wasn’t in your room—until that maniac tackled me on his bed. I almost died.”
She couldn’t hold it in any more. Autumn fell back onto the pillow in a fit of belly-splitting laughter.
“The keycode to get in wasn’t working. If that asshole had just let me in when I asked him to none of this would have happened.”
“I’m so sorry...”
“You don’t sound very sorry.”
“You’re right. I’m not. That’s fricking hilarious!”
“Well, I’m glad my suffering amuses you. Enough about me. How are things going with One and Done?”
“Would you stop calling him that?”
“I will when you admit that you’re in love with him.”
Autumn sighed in frustration. “What good would that do, Summer? I don’t think he feels the same way about me. In fact, I think he tried to give me the ‘the talk’ last night. You know, the ‘it’s been really nice but… It’s not you it’s me…’”
“Seriously? What did he say?”
“Nothing. I cut him off. I just couldn’t do it, Summer. I couldn’t sit there and listen to him say goodbye.”
“How do you know that’s what he was going to say if you didn’t give him the chance to say it?”
“Because he hasn’t asked me to stay. And believe me, he’s had plenty of opportunities. And last night, when he said we needed to talk, I could tell he didn’t really want to do it. This is my own fault, you know. We set ground rules, no emotional attachment, remember? It’s not his fault I changed the game.”
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