by SJ McCoy
“What are you hiding?”
“I’m not hiding anything. I just want a fresh start. I want to be a whole new person, and if I’m going to do that, then I don’t need to bring the past with me.”
“True. Tell me to butt out if you want. I’m just curious. You feel like a kindred spirit, yet you …” She smiled. “Sorry. I think I was kind of hoping that you’d turn out to be like me.”
Abbie had to smile. “You said we might have more in common than I realize, what do you mean?”
“Don’t take it wrong if I’m way off the mark, but before I came here, I was a total screw up. People here have been good to me. I fell on my feet. Between Ben giving me a job and Michael and his family taking me in along with Megan, and of course, meeting Chase, I’ve made good. But before I came up here …” She shrugged. “I didn’t live the same kind of life I do now.”
Abbie nodded. “You had it rough?”
“I made it rough on myself by the way I was living—the choices I made.”
“That’s definitely something we have in common then.”
“Want to tell me about it?”
Abbie looked around. There was no one sitting close by. “You know about my dad?”
“Yeah. I’m sorry.”
“Not as sorry as I am. I left here after high school—with a boy. We moved to LA. It didn’t last long. I stayed there and …” She smiled. “If I say that I didn’t live the same kind of life I do now, would that tell you what you need to know?”
“Yeah. You partied hard, screwed around, had a lot of fun, and made some bad decisions?”
“That about sums it up.”
April came back with their sandwiches. “Here you go. I didn’t know the two of you were friends. Seems like everyone knows everyone around here.”
Kenzie smiled at her. “Yeah, we go way back, Abbie and me.”
“I’ll leave you to catch up then.”
“Mind if I ask you something?”
“You can ask. I’m not promising that I’ll answer.”
“Why the act now?”
“It’s not an act. I don’t want to be that girl anymore.”
Kenzie made a face. “You don’t get to be someone else. You’re still you.”
“Are you still the same person?”
“Hell, yeah, I am! I just enjoy different things now. I got around good people and found out that I enjoy a different life. I thought it’d be boring here, but I have more fun here than I ever did before—and a lot less trouble too.” She smiled. “You just need to get around the right kind of people.”
“I’m working on that.”
“What do you mean?”
Abbie wasn’t sure that she wanted to tell her, but it was a relief to finally talk to someone who understood where she was coming from and could relate to where she wanted to go.
“Have you met someone?”
Abbie nodded.
“It’s Ivan, isn’t it? Don’t tell Chase, but whoa, that man is hot!”
“No!” Abbie shook her head rapidly. “Not Ivan! I have a date on Friday with Neil.”
Kenzie made a face. “Neil? Who the hell is Neil? I can tell you for nothing that he’s not as hot as Ivan.”
Abbie sighed. “Exactly. That’s why I’m going out with Neil.”
“What? That doesn’t make any sense at all. Ivan’s hot—and he’s hot for you. Neil is—who the hell is Neil? Help me out with that one first.”
“He’s an accountant.”
“Oh, good Lord!”
Abbie had to laugh. “He’s very sweet.”
“Umm, sweet accountant or hot Ivan. I know which one I’d choose. I know which one you’d choose.”
“You obviously don’t because I’m choosing Neil.”
“Why?”
“I thought you understood? Ivan’s the kind of guy I’ve always been with—hot, fun, sweet, totally unreliable. No good for me. Neil is the kind of guy the new Abbie wants to be with.”
“Boring?”
“He’s not boring!”
“Maybe. I can’t judge the guy. I don’t know him. But that in itself tells you something. I know everyone in this town—everyone who has a life and comes out to the Boathouse even occasionally.”
“He was there last weekend.”
“Oh! That was the dude you were talking to?”
Abbie nodded.
“While Ivan was watching you like a hawk.”
“He was?”
“Yup. I think you’re crazy. You should go out with Ivan instead.”
“No.”
Kenzie smirked. “If I were in your shoes, at least go home with Ivan.”
Abbie dropped her gaze.
“You did, didn’t you?!”
“I’m not proud of it.”
Kenzie waved a hand at her. “Was it mind-blowing?”
Abbie had to smile. “Yes. It was, if you must know.”
“You are one crazy, mixed-up kid.”
“That’s the point. I’m trying to grow up and not be a kid. I’m trying to make the sensible choice.”
“I’m not going to try to talk you out of it. You get to make your own choices, but I’ll be here if you want a friend—if you need someone to talk to when you figure out what a mess you’re making of things.”
“That’s exactly the same thing Ivan said.”
“Damn, girl. So, you told him, and he’s understanding about it?”
“Yeah, I suppose he is.”
“And you still don’t think he’s the sensible choice? If you ask me, you’re a fool. But I’ve got your back. Just don’t hurt this Neil guy in the process. Okay?”
That was something she hadn’t even considered. She’d been so busy trying to figure out what she wanted and how to build the kind of life that she thought she should be living that she hadn’t stopped to think whether her ideal guy might get hurt in the process.
Kenzie gave her a shrewd look. “Be careful. If anything, you need to be as honest with him as it sounds like you’ve been with Ivan. It’s only fair.”
Abbie pursed her lips. “I’m not sure he’d be so understanding.”
“That’s kind of my point!”
Chapter Seven
Ivan looked around the living room. He wondered if Mr. D would tell him the same thing that Colt had—that he should do something to make this place look more like a home. He hoped not, because if Mr. D said it, he’d feel like he had to do something, and he had no idea what that something might be.
He checked the clock. It was almost seven-thirty. He couldn’t help but wonder what Abbie was doing right now. Was she getting ready? Was she in the shower? No. He couldn’t let his mind go there.
Much as he wished he didn’t, he knew that Neil would be going to pick her up at eight. He felt bad. He’d kept his word and gone out to the mall with Neil to help him find something to wear. They’d found him a pair of jeans and a black pullover that looked good on him. In his own words, he looked more like Ivan than a stuffy accountant.
He blew out a sigh. Maybe he was doing Abbie a favor. She said she wanted to be with someone like Neil, and her actions had proved that she enjoyed being with someone who looked like him. Maybe this way she’d end up with the best of both worlds.
He started at the sound of the doorbell. Mr. D was always ten minutes early—it wasn’t likely he was here a whole half hour early.
He was, though. “I hope you don’t mind?” he asked when Ivan opened the door. “Chris went out half an hour ago, and I didn’t know what else to do with myself.”
Ivan grinned. “I don’t mind at all. Come on in.” He led him through to the kitchen. “What are you drinking?”
“I’ll take a beer, thanks.”
“I have a bottle of your bourbon if you want that—don’t think you’re stuck with beer just because I’m a heathen.”
He laughed. “Thanks. But I’d like a beer. I’ve learned to enjoy it.”
“Okay, then.” Ivan got two bottles from the fr
idge. “Do you want a glass?”
“No, thanks.” Mr. D popped the top off his with a grin. “They really do taste better out of the bottle.”
Ivan laughed. “You’ve come a long way in the last couple of years.”
“I have. But what about you? Your life has changed just as much as mine has lately. I hope it’s all for the better?”
Ivan thought about it. He was enjoying life at the lake. It suited him. He’d made new friends. He even felt like part of the community. If it weren’t for Abbie—for the fact that he couldn’t be with Abbie—he’d be happy. He nodded.
Mr. D frowned. “I have to be honest; I was hoping for a more enthusiastic response.”
“Sorry. Everything’s great. I’m happy here.”
“But?”
“But nothing. It’s all good.”
Mr. D gave him a skeptical look. “Something’s not right. I can tell. Is it a girl?”
Ivan blew out a sigh. “Kind of. It’s more that it’s not a girl.”
“What, that there isn’t a girl? Or there is one, and it’s not happening between the two of you.”
“That. It’s not happening. It can’t happen.”
“I’m sorry. Why not?”
“Because she wants to settle down, get married, and have kids with a suitable, reliable kind of guy.”
“And you don’t?”
“It doesn’t matter. She doesn’t think I’m suitable.”
“Why not? You’re a catch—I would have thought. You have a great job if I do say so myself. You have a very bright future. You have a lovely home.” He looked around. “Though you might want to do something about making it feel like yours.”
“It’s not any of that. She just …” He blew out a sigh. “If you want to know the truth, she’s out with Neil tonight. He’s the kind of suitable she’s looking for.”
“Ah. Well, it seems to me that the kind of girl who’d go for Neil isn’t the kind of girl you’d go for.”
“I know. She’s trying to be someone she’s not.”
“Why?”
“To make up for mistakes she’s made in the past.”
“Well, I hate to say it, Ivan, but it sounds like she’s not worth it. Not yet anyway.”
Ivan had to bite back the anger that surged up out of nowhere. “She is.”
Mr. D held up his hand. “All I’m saying is that it sounds as though she has some things to figure out before she’d be as ready for a relationship as you are.”
Ivan frowned. “I am?”
“Yes! It wouldn’t bother you this much if you weren’t. Would it?”
“I guess not.”
“Give her some time. And while you’re waiting, it might be worth your while to figure out what you really want.”
“It’s not often you’re wrong, but you’re right again.” Ivan was a little taken aback by Mr. D’s assumption that he was ready for a real relationship. The weirdest part about it was that he had a feeling he was right.
“Did you do anything about ordering dinner?”
“Not yet. I was waiting to see what you wanted.”
“Do you want to go over to the Boathouse?”
“No! That’s where Abbie and Neil are.”
“Ah. Okay then. Shall we call Giuseppe’s for a pizza?”
“Yeah, that’d be better.”
~ ~ ~
Abbie looked herself over in the mirror. She didn’t want to look too good. No, that wasn’t right. She did want to look good—but good in Neil’s eyes was different than her version. Nothing too tight, nothing too short. Not that she wore anything short and tight anymore anyway. She pulled on a dress. It was okay. The V-neck wasn’t too low. The sleeves were three-quarter length, and it fell to mid-calf. She’d bought it to attend a christening last winter. She looked like a respectable young woman. That made her laugh. She was a respectable young woman. But then, so was Kenzie—and she wouldn’t be caught dead in this dress!
Once her makeup was done—the same as she did it for work—she went downstairs.
Her mom did a double take when she saw her. “What …?”
“What, what?”
“What are you wearing? Are you going on a date or going to church?”
Abbie made a face. “I’m going on a date. I told you. With Neil.”
“I know what you said, but what are you wearing?”
“I take it you don’t like it?”
“I didn’t say that. I’m sorry, sweetie. It’s just different from what you normally wear to go out.”
“It’s not that different. I thought you’d like it.”
Her mom pursed her lips. “Abbie, we need to have a chat. I know you’ve been trying so hard to do things differently since you came back. And I won’t argue with you that you used to be a bit wild. But this …? You’re going to the opposite extreme. I don’t want you dressing up like some old fuddy-duddy. It’s not who you are.”
Abbie stared at her. She wanted to be angry, wanted to tell her mom that she was making these changes for her—so she could proud of her. She took a deep breath. The last thing she wanted to do was fight. So, instead, she gave a little laugh. “Fuddy-duddy? What’s one of those? I’ve never heard that before. For a second there I wondered what you were going to say.”
Her mom laughed. “Don’t worry. I’m too much of a lady to say some old fucker, but it’s probably what your dad would have said.”
This time Abbie’s laugh was genuine. “You’re right. I can hear him.” Her laughter caught in her throat as tears welled up in her eyes. “I wish he was still here.”
Her mom nodded, her eyes glistening. “So do I. And if he were, he’d tell you to stop this. He’d want you to keep being you, Abbie.”
“I am being me, Mom. Just a better version.”
“There was nothing wrong with the old version.”
Abbie pursed her lips. “This isn’t the time to get into it, Mom.”
“I know, but one day soon, we need to. What time’s Ivan picking you up?”
“Ivan?” Her heart raced at the mention of his name. She’d kept pushing him out of her thoughts all week. Just when she needed it least, her mom was bringing him up. “I’m going out with Neil. I told you.”
“Sorry. You did. I like Ivan.”
“You’ll like Neil, too. Did I tell you he’s an accountant?”
“Pft. Only about twelve times, though why you think that would make me like him, I have no idea.”
“Well, it’s because he has a good job. He’s responsible.”
“So? Is he fun? Does he give you butterflies?”
“I don’t know yet. I’m hoping to find that out tonight.” She wasn’t about to admit that when she’d chatted with him at the Boathouse last weekend, the conversation had been more stilted than fun.
The doorbell rang, and they stared at each other. Abbie wasn’t ready for this.
“You’d better get that.”
Typical. When she needed a minute to prepare herself, her mom sent her to open the door. Last weekend she’d been lurking by it ready to let Ivan in herself.
She hurried to the door and had to stop herself from gasping when she opened it.
“Hi, Abbie.”
Neil presented her with a bunch of flowers, but it wasn’t those that took her breath away. It was like some weird joke the universe was playing on her. He was dressed like Ivan. He looked like he was trying to be Ivan, in dark jeans and a black pullover with a black leather jacket, which, if she didn’t know better, she would say was Ivan’s.
“Hi. Thank you! I’m sorry. Just let me get my coat.” She was so flustered she left him standing on the doorstep while she went back in.
Her mom eyed the flowers then made her way to the door. “Come on in.”
Abbie rolled her eyes and took the flowers to the kitchen. When she came back to the living room, her mom was smiling, and Neil was looking decidedly uncomfortable.
“It’s nice to meet you, Neil. I don’t think we’ve me
t before, have we? Are you new to the lake?”
“It’s nice to meet you, too, Mrs. …”
“Mrs. Parsons.”
Abbie didn’t miss that. She’d told Ivan he could call her Nina.
“I’ve been here for a couple of months now. I moved here from San Francisco.”
“Oh, my. What brought you to the boonies from the big city?”
“A job. I’ve always worked for non-profits, and I was fortunate to be offered a position working for Seymour Davenport when he set up his office here. So far, I’m enjoying small-town life.”
Abbie’s heart thudded to a halt. He worked for Seymour Davenport? That meant he worked with Ivan. Did that have anything to do with the way he was dressed? Oh. God! Had Ivan dressed him for his date? Did Ivan know about tonight?
She sucked in a deep breath. What did it matter? It didn’t. Or … it might. Neil couldn’t know about her and Ivan. No one could know. But especially not Neil.
She forced herself to come back to reality. Her mom was saying something about not everyone being cut out for small-town life. It was time to go. She zipped up her coat and smiled at Neil.
“Are you ready?”
“Yes. It was nice to meet you, Mrs. Parsons.”
“And you. Have a nice time.”
“Thank you.”
Abbie bundled him out of the door as fast as she could.
Once they were out on the street, he smiled nervously at her.
She smiled back. It didn’t look like he was going to say anything. She looked around, wondering which was his car.
“I thought we could walk since it’s not far.”
“Oh. Okay.” She couldn’t help remembering that Ivan had driven here—so that she wouldn’t have to freeze her ass off on the way home. And he’d driven her home after their evening together. The little voice in her head added that he’d driven it home during their evening, too.
They started walking in silence. Abbie racked her brain for something to say. The poor guy was obviously nervous. It’d be down to her to break the ice.
“What did you do in San Francisco?”
“Much the same as I do here. I worked for a non-profit.”
“What kind of charity was that?”
“It supports homeless vets. It does a lot of good work.”
“That’s good.”
Silence fell between them again. She wanted to talk to him, but she couldn’t think of anything to say. Other than the fact that she desperately wanted to ask him if Ivan had dressed him for this date.
