by Susan Hatler
“Me, either.” The lump in my throat almost choked me. I grabbed a few little items on the nearest shelf, and rearranged them to keep from having to look at her. She headed for the double doors, stopping with one hand on the knob. “I’ll miss you when you leave, Wendy.”
“I’ll miss you, too. But this time we’ll keep in touch. I’ll make sure of it,” I said, meaning every word.
She walked out, closing the door behind her. I stared at the back of the doors, then turned, and walked back to the windows. I would miss everyone here. I didn’t really have anyone in Sacramento, and I had to admit that now. I had friends I loved in Blue Moon Bay. Max was here, too. If he came back like he claimed. Maybe in Tokyo, he’d fall in love with someone else, and stay there just like Ian had. There were no guarantees in life. I’d learned the hard way that people could leave at any given moment.
There was a knock on the door outside the inn. Weird. Maybe it was a new guest, who didn’t know we left it open until ten in the evening. I pasted on a polite smile, went to the door, and pulled it open. My smiled died when I recognized the woman on the other side of that door.
“Hello, Wendy, dear. Don’t you look wonderful?”
My blood pressure shot dangerously high, and I felt faint. “Mom? What are you doing here?”
The inn doors opened further as my mom stepped into the lobby, and I saw Olivia, still outside, staring in at me. She must’ve seen my mom, because she mouthed “good luck” as the doors closed. Before I could protest, my mom’s arms reached out, and wrapped around me.
My stomach plummeted. She had hugged me just like that before. The day she had walked out on me.
“I’m very sorry about your grandma, dear.” She pulled back, giving me a better look at her. She had the same dark hair that I had, but her eyes were brown instead of emerald green like my dad’s. Her hair was pulled up into a messy knot and she wore a brightly colored skirt, a slim fit tank top, sandals of some kind of woven material with beads running along the top straps, and a wide belt with a giant feather laden buckle.
“I’m surprised to see you.” I blinked, shocked that I’d been able to form words. What was she doing here? I took a step back, and nearly tripped over the massive duffel bag sitting there. Mom caught me by one arm, which kept me from falling, but didn’t make me feel any better.
I glanced outside where I saw Brian and Max on the back porch. Lucky raced across the deck chasing her Frisbee, and I so wanted to join them.
Mom leaned closer, peering past my shoulder into the inn. She leaned back and looked out toward the grounds before saying, “You really are doing a lot of work here. Grandma would be proud to see you taking it over.”
“We’re selling it. Remember?” The words stuck in my throat. I felt sick to my stomach. I moved away from the door. “The inn needed a lot of work, and it still needs the work done, but we found buyers who are going to submit an offer, anyway.”
Mom poked a finger into her hair, scratched lightly at her scalp. “You must be dreadfully sad to be selling, Wendy. You loved this place.”
“How would you know?” The words came out before I could stop them. My face heated but I kept my gaze level.
“Ah, I see.” Mom shifted her feet. “You know that eventually you are going to have to discuss this with me, Wendy. It’s not going to go away.”
“Why are you even here?” I asked, squeezing my fists tight.
She looked over her shoulder at the others gathered on the lawn. “I wanted to pay my respects and see my children. Your father and I had a lovely memorial ceremony for Grandma in Hawaii. We held the ceremony in a garden filled with gorgeous, colorful flowers and a lovely courtyard fountain. I remember the sound of the water, the smell of the flowers, and the beautiful night sky. We lit lanterns then sent them heavenward with their brave little flames . . . it was wonderful.”
“She didn’t want a ceremony.” My eyes burned with tears I could not, and would not shed. My heart ached. I wanted to run outside and collapse into the safety of Max’s arms.
Mom tapped her fingers against her hips. “I’m very happy to see you, Wendy. We need to work through our problems, so one day you’re happy to see me too.”
“I’m not happy to see you.” I shook my head, holding back the tears that threatened to come. “You managed to stay gone all this time, why couldn’t you stay gone until I’d left?”
Mom’s face fell. “We never meant to hurt you.”
“Well you did.” I flexed my fingers trying to hold everything back, but it had been so many years that I couldn’t keep it in any longer. “How did you ever imagine that walking away from your kids was a great parenting move? If you didn’t want us you should never have had us. All you ever thought about was yourselves, and when Brian and I got in the way, you just deserted us.”
“That isn’t how it was, Wendy.” She stepped toward me, putting a hand on my arm.
I shook her off, my chest exploding with raw pain. “I remember it very clearly. You and Dad promised we could stay at the inn and finally settle down. Then you both wanted to be free, so you dumped us off like old garbage. You were selfish then, and you’re still selfish. If you weren’t so selfish you wouldn’t be here right now!”
I stormed past her, tears burning my eyes, as I ran out the back door. Max and Brian stared at me with concerned looks, but I flew past them down the steps, heading for the ocean. I jumped off the last step, watching the waves crash into the shore with a low and loud rumble. I made it to the water’s edge and stood there, my arms wrapped around my middle and sobs choking me.
“Why did you have to leave me?” I begged, and my words echoed into the air, then vanished in the roar of the surf. But I wasn’t talking to my parents. I was calling for the woman I wanted, the one who had always been there for me. I wanted my grandma.
I sobbed harder. She had always been adamant that I had a mom, and that she was my grandma. But in many ways, she had been my mom, too. My grandma had been there for almost all of the firsts in my life: first kiss, first crush, and my first heartache. Grandma had been there for all the little trivial things that made up a teenager’s life. Her homemade acne cream had cleared up my skin, her brusque tending had healed up my scraped knees, my bruised heart and my anxiety over starting high school.
My grandma had been there.
My mom hadn’t.
But I had walked away from my grandma, just like my parents had walked away from me. I hadn’t even considered that she might miss me, and mourn my absence the same way that I mourned theirs. I’d wanted to leave, so I’d left.
“I’m sorry for being selfish, Grandma. I miss you so much,” I managed to say through my hiccupping sobs. Everything had gotten so hard. I had fallen back in love with Blue Moon Bay, and with Max, too. I’d fallen in love with having friends I could trust, and who truly knew me.
I’d almost forgotten everything I loved about Sacramento, and that scared me since I was going back. How could I not be excited to put an offer in on my dream house? I wasn’t though, and I knew it. How could I even think of giving up everything I’d worked so hard for?
Blue Moon Bay meant more to me. Max meant so much to me. Brian and the inn, Olivia, Megan and the old Pumpkin Festival—even that dunking booth meant so much to me that it hurt to think about leaving it all behind. But when that offer came in I’d have to leave. My chest ached, and I heard a noise. I glanced up to see Max coming down the steps, calling my name.
Chapter Thirteen
I stood on the beach, wiping my eyes as Max came toward me, his sweet dog trotting beside him. He didn’t say a word when he reached me, just enveloped me with his arms. I buried my face in the nook of his neck, feeling the heat of his body, and inhaling the irresistible smell of him. His hands rested on my back, his fingers splayed so that they pressed against my spine, and I wondered what it would be like to have him every day for the rest of my life.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
I shook my head. �
��I don’t know.”
He released me slowly, then took my hand, and led me for a walk along the beach. The water curled near our feet, and Lucky dashed into the water and out again, yipping happily. She raced over and gave me wet kisses, which made me feel slightly better.
I kicked a large shell back into the water. “My mother’s here. I just can’t believe she’d come back into town after all of these years, with all I’m dealing with right now.”
His brows drew together. “Aren’t you happy to see her?”
“Not at all. I don’t want to see either of them.”
He tightened his arm around me. “Really? I thought you would need them right now. Don’t you miss them?”
My chest ached. “I quit missing them a long time ago.”
He stopped walking, dropped down onto the sand, and pulled me down next to him. We stared out at the ocean, then he moved his mouth close to my ear. “Don’t you want to mend fences with them?”
“No.” I squeezed the dry sand between my fingers, then sifted it out slowly.
His forehead creased. “But they’re your parents.”
“They left me. They walked away and didn’t look back.”
“They never came back? Ever? She’s here now . . .”
Now I was angry with him, too. “So if we had kids and your travel bug coaxed you to leave, then you’d drop the kids off with your mother and call yourself a good parent?” I asked, then squeezed my eyes shut. Now I was discussing his views on parenting our hypothetical children? I was seriously losing it.
His face came closer to mine. I wanted to kiss him. I would’ve kissed him, too, if I wasn’t so angry and confused right now. I reminded myself that Max was not used to staying in one place either, and that he was leaving soon. Just like they had.
“I’m not saying what they did was right, sweetheart.” He trailed his finger across my cheek, then held my chin. “They left you. Something I’d never do to you, or to our kids if we had them. There’s no denying they messed up. What I don’t understand is why you won’t forgive them.”
My chest cracked, and I blew out a long breath. “Whose side are you on anyway?”
“Yours, Wendy. Always. I think you need to forgive them, though. It will eat you up otherwise, whether you see it or not.”
“I don’t know if I can ever forgive them.” Everything tensed inside me, and I wanted to push thoughts of them aside like I always did. But having them this close made that impossible. I picked up a rock, and threw it into the ocean. “I don’t know how they’re even here. My mom told me they couldn’t afford the airfare. I don’t understand how they paid for their flights.”
Max’s hand tightened around my shoulder, and he glanced away. Then he turned back to me, wearing a pained look. “There’s something I need to tell you.”
My brows rose. “What?”
He sucked in a breath. “I thought I was doing you a favor. You have to understand that. After the night we met, I overheard you on the phone with your mom. You sounded sad that she couldn’t afford the flight out.” He raked a hand through his hair. “So I talked to Brian and got their number. To make a long story short, I paid for their airline tickets.”
My blood ran cold. “You paid for their tickets? You’re the reason they’re here?”
I didn’t wait for any answer to my question, though. I just shot to my feet and ran down the beach, further and further, trying to escape that Max had gone behind my back, and made my worst nightmare come true.
The next morning, guilt and remorse were like two little baby lobsters running amok in my belly, creating serious chaos there. After agonizing all night long about the fact that Max had brought my parents here, it seemed obvious he’d done it with the best of intentions.
I had to apologize to Max over the way that I had reacted, and I wanted to do it as soon as possible. Having a rift between us felt like sawing off my arm, and I needed to know things were okay with us. If he would forgive me.
I noticed I’d slept in until the crazy hour of eleven this morning—it’s amazing what no sleep and the lull of the waves could do—then I got dressed, hurried down the stairs, and stopped just inside the entry of the lobby. Brian and Max must’ve started painting early since there was a fresh coat on the walls. That lovely sea-foam blue looked bright and cheerful.
The whole place was lovely, shining, and perfect. The paintings on the walls and the little sprays of dried flowers in their vases drew my eye. The fresh flowers that Max had brought in the day before lent their fragrance to the room, and the knick-knacks that Grandma had collected over the years were arranged neatly. I knew every single one of those items, and seeing them made memories come up, reminding me of my grandma.
Brian stood behind the desk. He wore a freshly starched shirt and slacks, and he wore a big smile on his face. The guests he was greeting were obviously regulars, since Brian was asking about their granddaughters and the man’s golf game. He was good with the guests, much better than I had ever been. Even when we were kids, he’d been good with the guests, and he had always gotten way better tips from them, too. I wondered, once again, why she hadn’t left the inn to my brother.
The guests headed out of the lobby, and as I walked to the desk, he handed me a coffee. “You might want to reheat that in the microwave.”
“I’m too tired.” I sipped the lukewarm liquid, and swallowed. “Nice shirt. Did you suddenly learn to operate the iron or get a heavier mattress?”
“Mom ironed it for me. She also cleaned the lobby. She and Dad were wondering—”
“Don’t.” I held up a hand. “I really don’t want to hear it, Brian. Okay? I haven’t had enough coffee to hear anything you have to say about them right now.”
He held out his cup. “Would you like mine, too?”
I glared at him. “No.”
He set his cup back down. “Just trying to help you out, sis.”
“I’m going to work in the office for a bit. Can you hold things down here?”
He gave the empty lobby a pointed look. “I sure will try.”
I chose to ignore that and headed off. I hadn’t seen Max anywhere downstairs, but I wasn’t about to ask Brian if he’d seen him. He got involved in my personal business way too much as it was. I entered the office, looking to see whether or not that formal offer from the Totskys had come in yet.
I checked the fax, but there wasn’t anything new there. So I rummaged through a few papers, to check on the occupancy rate at the inn. If there wasn’t an offer, I might need those numbers to give the Totskys more information. I was looking through the piles of paper when my phone rang. I checked the screen, hoping it was Max.
Nope. It was Janine.
“Hi, Janine,” I said, hoping she had good news.
She spoke in a rush, blowing right through my greeting. “I’m so glad you answered the phone. We have another crisis! The clients that were interested in that house you’re brokering over on Sycamore are getting cold feet and Elizabeth is not handling them well. They have been in here all week freaking out on me, and you have to come back or call them as soon as possible. I’m on the verge of a nervous breakdown.”
She sounded like it, too. I sighed, wondering if I’d ever been that high strung. Uh, yeah, to the tenth degree. I started pacing the floor. It was frustrating that Elizabeth wasn’t cutting it, but it wasn’t like her, so she must be having a horrible time with the divorce. “Calm down, Janine. Listen, I’ve trained you to be a good Realtor, and you can handle this.”
Her voice rose an octave, as she said, “I haven’t passed my tests yet!”
“I know,” I said, trying to sooth her. “That’s okay, because you aren’t selling them a house. You’re helping them make up their minds about a house they already want to buy. Elizabeth can do the paperwork. You just have to do the people work, and you’re good at that. Trust me, I know.”
“I can’t believe you’re not having convulsions over this. I thought you’d be on your way back be
fore I even finished the first sentence,” she said. “This is a huge commission that we are talking about here. Besides, you always say a crisis with a client deserves our full and undivided attention.”
I had said that. But I also used to get up at six in the morning, religiously. I went to the windows and looked out over the green grass to the water that lay beyond. “The clients will get full and undivided attention. Yours. You can do this, and if you learn how to deal with this kind of thing now it will be easier for you in the future.”
“Do you mean this kind of thing happens a lot? Maybe I should just keep my assistant position.”
I turned away from the windows, tripping over a pile of books someone had set on the floor. I bent over, then picked them up and stacked them on a shelf. “You’re going to be fine. Just relax and talk them through it. Point out everything they love about the house. If you keep them away from Elizabeth until the signing, then everything will be fine.”
“Okay.” She gave a long suffering sigh. “By the way, I heard there’s an offer coming in on the townhouse you want to buy. If you’re going to make a move, you need to do it fast.”
“Thank you, Janine.”
“No, thank you. I feel much better now.”
I hung up the phone, feeling depressed that someone was bidding on my townhouse. I loved that home. It was gorgeous, and had upgrades like crazy. I had to accept an offer on the inn, before I could submit a contingency offer, though. Maybe it would be a good idea to call the Totskys and ask if they had sent the offer yet. No, that might be too eager. Maybe their offer had come in while I was on the phone?
I went to the fax machine, and, sure enough, there was their offer. Full price, and all cash. I pulled out the papers, and read them. Mrs. Totsky’s cover letter wasn’t addressed to me, which was odd, but she happily stated they were almost finished finalizing things with the inn. My mouth dropped open as I read the last sentence, then I flipped the page.
