“Hello,” she squeals. Two o’clock in the morning and she’s wide awake? That’s weird.
“Gabriella,” I choke out, wishing I could crawl under the nearest rock and pretend I didn’t just call the one person I vowed to never speak to again.
“Yes, who is this?”
“Rian.” A sharp inhale on the other end and something muffling her receiver, I struggle to hear her. “Gabriella, are you there?”
“I am. How can I help you, Rian?” No longer cheerful, her voice is stoic and without compassion. I should have just let that couple deal with their marital problems alone and stayed out of it. At least kept walking when she called me a whore.
“Never mind.” I can’t bring myself to ask her to come get me. She’ll say no and I’ll feel worse than I already do. As I’m about to hang up, knowing full well I’ve wasted my only call, she starts talking.
“Rian? Rian, are you still there? Don’t hang up.”
“I’m here,” I whisper.
“What’s wrong? It’s late and the caller ID says Lexington Police Department. Are you in trouble, sweetheart?” How can she still care after everything I said to her? Did to her family?
“I’m in jail. I need help. I can’t stay here. Memories,” I cry, willing my stomach to stop doing back flips and my palms to stop sweating. Everything about this place reminds me of when I was sixteen. I can’t go back to that place … remember those things. I’m stronger than when I was younger in all aspects. Except this. Always this. It’s safe to say that this is my kryptonite.
“I can be there in a little over an hour. Don’t worry, I’m coming, sweetheart.”
“I’m so sorry.” Loud sobbing sounds come out of my mouth and my cheeks are drenched. I should have never taken everything out on her. I remember wanting unconditional love and that’s what she’s showing me. Even after everything, she’s still on my side, wanting to protect me.
“Don’t. It’s over and I’m coming. Hang in there. I love you, Rian.”
“I love you, too.”
The officer takes the phone from me, hanging it up and walking me back to the holding cell. Thankfully, I’m the only one in tonight and can sit and think before Gabriella shows up. I know she said not to apologize, but I have a lot to say. I don’t want her thinking I used her, because I didn’t. There’s a reason that I’m alone all the time. There’s a reason I like my raven. It’s not because I want to be alone all the time in fear of being disappointed.
It’s because I can’t stand the thought of disappointing another person.
Gabriella was always good to me and I shit on her. Maybe we can repair our relationship. I’d also be lying if I said I didn’t want to know how Garrett’s doing. I know he and I will never be anything special again, but I need to know he’s okay and doing good.
It feels like days have gone by when the officer comes to my cell, announcing that I’ve been bailed out. Stopping at the property counter, I collect my shoes and purse. Deciding to not squeeze my swollen feet back into the heels, I walk out wearing the socks the cops gave me with my shoes and purse dangling from one hand.
Pushing open the door to exit, I stop dead in my tracks when angry blue eyes stare back at me, almost in disbelief. I turn to walk back into the cells, but the door’s already clicked shut and locked. Having no choice but to turn around and face the music, I straighten my back and hold my head high as I make my way to where those eyes bore straight through me.
“Garrett,” I say as strongly as my voice allows.
Chapter 15
I walk straight past him. Scanning the parking lot for his truck, Garrett’s hand comes down forcefully on my wrist, dragging me in the direction he wants me to go. Seeing his pickup parked on the side of the building, I try to pull my arm away, but his grip’s too tight.
He doesn’t help me into the cab. He doesn’t talk. He just leaves me at the passenger side. I think for a moment about running toward the road, hitch-hiking back to my apartment, but I know he’ll put a stop to that, too. It’s been a while, so it takes me a minute to get myself situated inside the vehicle. He starts the truck and heads toward the highway.
When he starts going the wrong way on the freeway, I decide to speak up. “My apartment is the other way.” It’s not his fault he doesn’t know where I live. Nobody knows.
“You’re gonna have to come back with me tonight. My mom wants to see you and I was in the middle of a party,” he says, not looking at me or showing any kind of emotion in his voice … except annoyance.
“You didn’t have to come. I called Gabriella, not you. I’ll go see her tomorrow. Can you please just take me home?”
“Rian, you called my mom after two in the morning. She doesn’t drive at night anymore. Not since the accident. It was me or nobody. I’ll take you back home tomorrow, but she needs to see you for some ungodly reason.”
“What accident?” I ask, praying nothing’s wrong with her.
“Two years ago, she and my dad were in a car accident. They were coming back from Tennessee and got hit by a truck driver who fell asleep at the wheel. Dad died on impact and Mom spent a few days in the hospital. Since then, she doesn’t drive at night.”
Not knowing what to say, I keep quiet. After my mom died, I hated when people would say “I’m sorry” or “You poor girl”. It all seemed so fake, so I won’t go there with Garrett. Instead, I change the subject.
“What’s the party for?”
Garrett doesn’t answer. His expression’s stoic and unyielding.
“Must not have been that important of a party for you to leave to come get me, right?” This night couldn’t get any worse. I wasn’t expecting to have to deal with Garrett, and now, not only am I riding in his truck with him, going back to his house, but I’ve interrupted his night … and he’s pissed about it.
“Don’t flatter yourself, Rian. Mom couldn’t do it and that’s the only reason I’m here. If I would have told her no, wait until morning, she would have cussed me up one side and down the other. I left to save myself from her bitching.”
“Wow, rude much?” I say, covering up my heartbreak with sarcasm. It’s a trait I’m very familiar with, something I’ve done for a while. I try telling myself to not let him get under my skin, that we were a couple when I was a teenager. We don’t know each other anymore.
“Oh, you wanna talk about rude, Rian? Let’s talk about rude. How rude is it to not even have the decency to send a pussy-ass Dear John letter to your boyfriend in boot camp, but run away and hide like a fucking child? Does that sound rude to you?” I try my hardest not to look in his direction, but like a train wreck, I can’t look away. Garrett’s literally vibrating with anger and his eyes are glued to the road.
Ignoring him, I watch out the window. During the day, this stretch of I-75 is full of natural beauty, but at night, it’s scary. Nothing but pitch black everywhere, even though we’re surrounded by mountains. Every few minutes or so, we’ll pass by a street lamp that illuminates the cab long enough for me to see that Garrett’s anger isn’t going anywhere. He’s fuming.
I doze off for a few minutes and wake just in time for him to be taking the exit for 25-E. Knowing we’re only ten to fifteen minutes from his house, I prepare myself to see Gabriella for the first time in four years.
Pulling up the gravel driveway I used to come up almost daily so long ago, everything looks the exact same, yet so different. A few cars still litter the horseshoe drive and the house is mostly dark except for the yard.
Garrett exits the truck first, not bothering to help me down, and walks around the path that leads to the backyard, leaving me to figure out what to do with myself. Do I walk in the house in search of Gabriella? Do I follow him? Hell if I know. It’s been a while since I’ve felt so uncomfortable.
Deciding to go after Garrett, I go in his direction. When I get out back, the tiki torches are burning and the pool lights are on. Scanning the perimeter, I notice Garrett’s standing off to the side and he’s not a
lone. Expecting it to be his mom’s arms wrapped around his waist for some reason, I’m surprised when I see a tall, dark-haired woman who’s looking at him like she wants to eat him for dessert. Swallowing my pride, I approach the pair.
“Where’s your mom?” I ask, trying to show indifference even though it’s killing me to see him with someone else. It’s been years, but he’s my first love … my first everything.
“She went inside about twenty minutes ago to get ready for bed. I’m shocked she stayed up this late,” the girl says with her peppy little voice. I already want to choke her and I don’t even know her yet.
“Alright, I’m gonna head inside if that’s okay with you?” I glance to Garrett, not so much seeking permission, but to see if he’ll drop his attitude and be civilized with me.
“Whatever you wanna do, Rian.” He shrugs and immediately goes back to the conversation with his little friend.
Once inside the house, I walk toward Gabriella’s bedroom. Since it’s the only light shining on the second floor, she has to be in there. Knocking softly on the door, my heart hammers in my chest, preparing for the niceties to be over and Gabriella to draw blood at first sight.
“Come in,” she calls.
Pushing the door open slowly, I announce myself. “Are you decent?”
“Rian, sweetheart, come in.” I barely make it to the bed where she’s sitting, taking off her jewelry, before I’m wrapped in a tight embrace. I almost pull away from the intimacy, but I don’t. For the first time in four years, I relish in the touch from another person. One of love as opposed to lust or desire. Unconditional love.
“I told Garrett I would have come to see you tomorrow, but he insisted you wanted to see me tonight.” Gabriella lets me go and forces me to sit on the bed next to her. Turning toward me, her face has changed. Small, almost unidentifiable crows-feet trace the outer edges of her eyes and laugh lines are also more prominent. When the light catches her hair, small slivers of grey shine through. It’s only been four years, but that’s a lifetime where we’re from. So much has happened.
“Nonsense. I haven’t seen or heard from you in years. I needed to see with my own eyes that you’re okay. Dressed a little too skimpy, but you look just fine.” My cheeks heat, knowing that she’s talking about the length and cut of my dress. If I move one more inch, more than just my upper thigh will be exposed. Her eyes continue to roam my body, looking for God knows what. Damages? Wounds? Scars?
Those are hidden from the naked eye. You’d have to get to know me to see all the scars that my body’s riddled with. She knows that, though.
“I’ve been in Lexington. Got an apartment and a job there. It’s been a decent couple of years. I’m happy,” I lie. Content is nowhere near the same thing as happy. I get through life, not live it the way it should be.
“I looked for you. There’s not been a day that you haven’t been on my heart. I worry for you, Rian. I know things went down badly before you left, but you’re family here.”
“It sure doesn’t seem that way,” I whisper, immediately regretting my choice of words.
Anger flashes across her face and I can see her biting the inside of her cheek, probably trying not to say something that will scare me off again. “Listen, Rian. What you did was hurtful. Not just to me, but to Garrett. He had no idea what happened to you. I wrote him, telling him about Elaine and then you disappeared. I searched for years … he did, too. After last Christmas when he was home, it was apparent you didn’t want to be found, so we tried to move on. But you don’t just let that pain go. You broke that boy’s heart. My boy’s heart.”
“I know. I didn’t know what else to do. I got his letter about staying longer in the Army, not taking a leave. I was in a bad spot and I felt abandoned. I couldn’t tell him, I just had to go. He looks like he’s doing okay, though. I met his friend,” I snarl, the catty woman in me rearing her ugly head.
“Jaime? She’s a nice enough girl. He met her back in Oklahoma while he was on base. They’ve been together nine, ten months I think.” Mentally rolling my eyes, I try to change the subject.
“Do you mind if I crash on the couch, or maybe the pool house until I go home tomorrow? If not, I can always walk down to the motel and get a room.” I really hope she says I can stay. I highly doubt I have more than thirty bucks in my wallet.
“You can take Garrett’s old room. I believe those two are gonna stay in the pool house. Since he proposed to her this evening, I doubt they’ll be getting any sleep.” The sudden urge to vomit the rest of the alcohol in my system rises, but I push it down, not willing to show how upset that makes me.
“I’m gonna marry you, Rian Noelle, and you’re gonna travel the world with me. We’ll create our own world. A place where nothing else matters but us.”
I need to get through tonight, and then tomorrow I can go back to my life where constant reminders of how shitty I handled things aren’t thrown in my face.
“Alright, I remember where it is. Sleep good and I’ll come say bye before I leave in the morning.” I gently kiss her cheek and make my way down the hallway to Garrett’s childhood room.
Opening the door, not a thing has changed, not even the bedspread. Taking my time to examine everything, it’s the pictures that line the mirror that shatter my already broken heart. So many of Garrett and me during the last three months of his senior year. Pictures from the basketball tournament, us with his friends at the lake, Garrett’s graduation and the party the next night … the night we gave ourselves to each other.
The greatest night of my life.
Footsteps echo in the hall and I assume it’s Gabriella going to the bathroom. Taking one of Garrett’s tee shirts off the top of the dresser that still smells like fabric softener, I slip off my dress and am about to pull it over my head when the door opens. Startled I turn around only to be face to face with Garrett.
“What are you doing in here?” he chokes out, straining to keep his eyes above my neck. I look down, realizing I’m standing in front of him wearing only my matching black bra and panty set. I stifle my grin, not in the mood to infuriate him further, and shove my arms and head into the shirt.
“Your mom said I could stay in here. If that’s not okay, I can sleep on the sofa downstairs.” I sit on the edge of the bed, willing the shirt to be longer and conceal more. And to not be so fucking see through.
“No, you’re fine. I just came to grab my stuff.” He grabs a large, deep green duffle bag and walks out of the room.
Tucking myself in, I think of all the things that led me here tonight and the one thing I regret is not giving Garrett a hug when I first saw him. He’s changed over the years. No longer the rugged, good looking boy I once knew, but an even more rugged man. Just above his chin, there’s a small spike, a labret piercing, and the sides of his hair are cut short, to the scalp, but the middle … he’s got a decently long Mohawk that’s starting to form. I never thought I would find it attractive, but on him, it works. He’d have to have been discharged a while ago for it to be that long, though. I’ll have to ask Gabriella in the morning.
Forcing myself to think of things other than Garrett and how sexy he is these days, I drift off to sleep.
Chapter 16
The next morning, I leave Garrett’s room behind, walking downstairs to find Gabriella making pancakes at the stove. Rounding the corner into the dining room, Garrett and Jaime are already sitting at the table, waiting on breakfast to be served. I quickly, yet quietly, flip around to sneak away, but I’m caught in the act.
“Rian, you’re just in time for breakfast. Strawberry pancakes are still your favorite, right?” A huge, every tooth in her mouth on display smile spreads across her lips and I can’t help but reciprocate.
Instead of joining the canoodling couple, I choose a stool at the breakfast bar facing Gabriella. I’d prefer to deal with her and her alone. As much as I’d like to be able to talk to Garrett, explain myself, it’s a pointless idea. He’s concerned with his new toy. I scre
wed it up; I have no right to be jealous. Even with that being said, I don’t have to have it shoved down my throat.
“Yes, ma’am, thank you.” Putting my elbows on the counter, I lean forward to grab a knife and the pint of strawberries drying in the sink. Making myself useful, I start slicing and try not to listen to Garrett and Jaime. I’m doing a pretty good job until Jaime lures me into the conversation.
“So, Garrett told me that you’re old friends. You’ll have to tell me some stories sometime about when he was younger.”
I debate answering or ignoring her. It would be rude to not acknowledge she spoke to me. She’s done nothing to me and I can’t misplace my anger. All my frustrations are with me … not even Garrett’s pissed me off.
“I have some stories alright,” I respond. Garrett starts choking on his coffee and Gabriella catches me smirking. Nonchalantly shrugging, I brush it off. Just because I’m being nice doesn’t mean I won’t toy with the situation. If he doesn’t want to tell her what we once were to each other, that’s his problem, I don’t have to play his little game.
“I’d love to hear them. I don’t know many of Garrett’s friends, so meeting you is really cool. Maybe we can get lunch next week.”
“I’ll check my schedule.” I won’t, though. There’s never going to be a time and place where having a meal with my ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend … fiancée … will fit into my life. Nope. Won’t do it.
Garrett pulls her out of the awkward conversation between us and I can finally breathe again. Regardless of our past, I want him to be happy and loved. I just wish he would pick someone that wasn’t so dense. Is the tension in the room suffocating or is it just me? The way Gabriella keeps eyeing me, I’m guessing that she feels it, too.
Gabriella joins me at the breakfast bar, eating with me instead of Garrett and Jaime. I spend a little while catching up with her when Garrett walks Jaime out to her car and returns only moments later. Tapping me on my shoulder as he passes behind me, heading out to the pool house, he tells me to be ready in ten minutes so he can drive me home.
Raven Page 11
