His horse had taken him through many difficult times, and never once did it falter. He treated the horse like a brother and in return the horse drove itself beyond its endurance. Although it was getting up in age, it ran faster than any horse in all of Ireland. And Colum had no doubt that it would get him to the docks on time.
Colum had been riding through towns and hamlets for hours, only stopping to allow his black steed to get water and food. He did not eat because he could not. His heart was in his hands and his mind was lost. He pushed his steed beyond endurance and yet it continued on its path.
He could smell the ocean air and he knew he was close. Nearing the water, Colum saw the ship anchored. He looked around trying to see any signs of Elizabeth. He then spied a carriage and a skiff waiting to ferry someone to the ship. As Colum neared the carriage, out stepped Elizabeth, and Colum’s heart raced. He could not contain himself. He rode fast shouting, “Elizabeth, Elizabeth.” And he jumped from his horse before Elizabeth could step into the small boat.
Turning around to see who was shouting her name, Elizabeth gazed at the handsome blue eyed gentlemen and realized it was the man who stole her heart. She could not believe it was Colum standing before her. He dropped to his knees, “Elizabeth forgive me... marry me.” His breathing was hard, his heart was soft, and his head was bent.
A surprised Elizabeth stared at him in amazement and sorrow, “It’s too late Colum.”
“What do you mean it’s too late Elizabeth? Marry me!” The look on Colum’s face was earnest. “I have called off my wedding to Mary Francis and I don’t care what people think of me. I should never have cared. I wish I had been more like Edward. But I could not see that I would never be happy if I never made you a part of my life. I could never be happy unless you had become my wife and had my children,” Colum said smiling and holding Elizabeth’s gloved hand.
Everything Elizabeth had wanted had finally come to her but it was too late.
“It’s too late Colum.” Elizabeth’s voice broke, “I’m married to Edward.”
“Why, Elizabeth? Why Elizabeth? Why would you marry Edward knowing that I love you so much?”
“You did not love me enough. You lay with me, took my virtue, and still kept your engagement.” Elizabeth felt a tinge of revenge. But how could she, when she knew that she had hurt the only man she would ever love, and her marriage to Edward is a sham.
She raised her head, “You should get off your knees Colum. It does not become you to bow to a servant girl.” Her words cut Colum deeply. He stayed on one knee as she climbed into the skiff and he watched her leave in the skiff.
He sat on the water’s edge until the ship sailed. Colum feeling lost, mustered the strength to stand and walk for miles leading his horse by its reigns, until he had tired of walking.
He mounted his horse and let it find its way home. He had lost everything. He did not have his fortune, he did not have Elizabeth, and he did not have his pride. All that was left was to wait until the government confiscated his castle that had been in the family since 1589.
Chapter 9
Elizabeth had been living in Edward’s mother’s estate for two months when Elizabeth became concerned for her health. She was listless and could not eat, and if she tried her stomach could not hold the least bit of food. She had little knowledge of how her body functioned. She knew when she met Colum that she felt an intense desire to love and be loved, yet little more.
She had no idea that making love to Colum would bring about changes in her body. Her maid Beth, who was a plump, beautiful, dark haired girl, and wiser to life, was washing Elizabeth’s back with a long boar brush when she noticed Elizabeth’s swollen breast and belly.
“Mi lady, have you been not well?”
“Yes Beth. Why do you ask?”
“You are with child.” Elizabeth glanced down and smiled. “That can not be.”
“Do you know anything about having babies?” Beth glanced at Elizabeth with a penetrating look.
Elizabeth shook her head. “My mother never got around to telling me. She said that I had time and she would discuss this on the day of my wedding.” Her hand went to her mouth. “Oh Beth!”
“What is wrong mi lady?” Elizabeth stepped out of the tub and Beth wrapped her in a crimson velvet robe. She waited patiently. Her eyes met Elizabeth and she could see guilt and horror. Elizabeth’s eyes lowered and Beth repeated her question. “What is wrong mi lady?”
“I’m afraid that I have made a terrible mistake.”
“What have you done?”
Elizabeth raised her hand to her lips and began biting her nails, “I don’t know how to say this,” she paused and her eyes met Beth’s. “My child cannot be Edward’s child.”
“Oh, mi lady!” You must never reveal this to anyone.” She took Elizabeth’s hands and held them. “There’s nothing to be gained by confessing this. You’ll likely be thrown out with no one to protect and care for you.”
“But…we never made love the way Colum and I did. Edward never entered me. I guess all is lost and I will be a scorned and an outcast.” Elizabeth placed her head on Beth’s shoulder, as tears pooled in her eyes then bathing her face.
“Mi lady, all is not lost. I heard a curious rumor that mi lord was unable to father any children. The war you know.”
“Edward tried to explain this to me, but I thought he was telling me this because he wanted to spare me the embarrassment of having sex with him. I thought that he wanted me to know him better.” Elizabeth’s tearful green eyes looked away from Beth. “He did tell me the truth.”
“He is a good man after all,” Beth stated. “You would still be pregnant and mi lord Colum would never marry you. He has spoiled you and never to marry you.”
“What should I to do?”
“I’ll send a letter to Edward informing him of the coming birth of his heir. If he is smart he will keep your secret and you will keep his.” Elizabeth noticed that Beth referred to the Earl by his first name, but she gave no stock to this.
“But how can I live with a lie?”
“You will learn,” said Beth as she helped Elizabeth climb into bed. She tucked her in and placed the satin bed cover up to Elizabeth’s chin. “Sleep well mi lady and I will take care of everything.”
Beth had been in Edward’s keep as a chamber maid since she was a child and he was a man of twenty. She served his female guest and looked on as he brought in women after women. She was privy to all that occurred in the castle. Before her mother died, she had been a ladies’ maid, and past down all of the secrets that the walls held in every room of the old castle.
Beth was there when Edward gave her a first innocent kiss and declared that he would marry her. She ran to her mother and her mother informed her that it was all a foolish dream of a young foolish girl.
Their love affair continued until he was sent to war and then when he returned he was a changed young man. His eyes would never meet Beth. It was only when he was drunk that he would go to her room in the middle of the night and lay down beside her and declare how much he wished he could marry her.
On one night after a drunken tirade, he came to Beth’s bed chamber. He fell into her arms and slept until he had a nightmare and the horrors of his service in the war were played out in front of her. Edward’s screaming and talking in his sleep revealed that he had been castrated. She loved him even more to the point that she would want him to be happy. So when he nudged his nose along her neck and found her beautiful young breast she welcomed his amorous affection.
His body was ignited when his mouth found her youthful nipples, which burst into his mouth and gave him a new sexual life. He sucked them hard and she looked down at his face and saw a light in his eyes. She enjoyed the warmth of his body next to her. She enjoyed the pleasure she received when he placed his eager mouth on her legs and kissed her on her stomach, and the gentle way he placed his tongue on her clit and circled it, and the intense feeling that she felt.
Edward b
rought her body to great heights and satisfied her in ways she thought she would never hope to ever achieve. She would moan with excitement and happiness and Edward would respond to her pleasure. The act of making love to Beth excited him beyond anything he had known. His sexual life would revolve around loving Beth because she was his first love and she understood him. Edward became a slave to her and her to him. They made a vow to each other. He knew that there would not be a child for him, until now.
Beth was complicit in Edward’s marriage to Elizabeth. Her happiness was tethered to Edward’s happiness.
She wasted little time in informing Edward. He sent a letter immediately to express his happiness at the news. She brought the letter to Elizabeth who was very nervous.
“What did he say? I am too tense and afraid to read it,” Elizabeth stated.
Beth removed the seal and opened the letter and peered at it for a moment. “Just as I thought, he is delighted and does not question the parentage of the child. He knew that the child is the son of his friend lord Colum. He wants to protect you from scandal, Elizabeth.” Beth fixed her gaze on Elizabeth. “He will have a ball in the honor of his new wife and son. He said that he is starting now and that he is awaiting your return next month.” She placed the letter in her apron.
“Why is he expecting me so soon? I thought I was to be here for a year or six months?”
“He wants you home so he can make sure you don’t have any problems with his child and you.”
“It is not his child,” protested Elizabeth.
“I know how you feel mi lady, but get a hold on yourself. Lord Tyrone will never go against tradition and marry you. He is too arrogant and self-centered to marry a low-born girl. It has never been done. If you do not want your child to become a bastard, then you need to remain quiet, mi lady.” She bowed and moved to the door with its iron hinges and locks that made an ominous sound. Beth understood the implication of being a bastard and an empty life.
When she reached the door, she turned, “If I can stand to see you with the man I have loved all my life and would give anything to marry him, then you can stand to be silent. You have a child for the man you love.” Elizabeth felt and saw the pain that rushed across Beth’s face, and she walked to her and hugged her as tears streamed down her face.
“I will keep your secret if you keep mine,” Beth pleaded.
“I do not want to come between you and Edward. I can’t stand to see you and Edward suffer as I have with my love and passion for Colum. He will never know that he has a child.”
“He may never know but you will see him again.” She looked straight into Elizabeth’s face. And Elizabeth raised an eyebrow.
“What do you mean?”
“Edward is overwhelmed by the news. He has contacted his mother to accompany you home where a ball is arranged in celebration of the birth of his son.”
“But what if the child is not a son?”
“It is important that you do have a son. No one can inherit his lands and money but a son. Or you will have to lie with…” Elizabeth cuts her off.
“I will never do that again with anyone. I hate Lord Colum and he is not tolerable,” said Elizabeth as she walks away and stands facing the large window overlooking the gardens of the estate. “Please Beth leave me to my thoughts.”
“Very well mi lady, but you are too young to remain without sexual love.” Beth took her leave.
Chapter 10
Elizabeth’s visit in England was cut short by the news that an heir would be forthcoming to Elizabeth and Edward Mc Hugh. The news circulated throughout the north, west, and east of Ireland about an heir to inherit the vast fortune of Lord Mc Hugh. Gossip ensued as soon as the news of the marriage had been released. Edward arranged a ball and dinner on Elizabeth’s return. He would present his pregnant wife to all the high-born and important people in Ireland.
* * *
The trip was difficult for women traveling by sea in the month of December. Edward’s mother decided to visit at a later date, perhaps when the baby was born. The Atlantic was not sympathetic to the vessel and Elizabeth. The ship rolled and tossed with every wave. Elizabeth spent the journey with a pot in her face. Sick throughout the journey home, she did not relish being put on display for all of Ireland to gossip about her rushed marriage to Edward, and to hear servants discuss the fight that ensued between Edward and Colum. Elizabeth thought that only the three of them were under the large oak tree near the stream that ran the breath of Colum’s castle.
The groomsman in confidence, informed the black smith who shared the details with his wife. The smithy’s wife worked as a maid in the kitchen of Colum’s estate, where news of the disagreement over Elizabeth was well known.
Now Elizabeth had to live in a household where everyone appeared to know the sordid details of her life.
Elizabeth and Beth exited the skiff to find Edward waiting with his carriage. He had a bouquet of roses in his hand. He stood looking more handsome than she had remembered. His hands were lodged behind his back, and when she neared the carriage, he placed his hands in front to hand the flowers to Elizabeth. She glared at him and stated, “You have not given Beth any roses? Surely she deserves some for putting up with me and you.”
Glances exchanged between Edward and Beth. Edward reached for Elizabeth’s elbow and helped her into the coach. Then he stepped inside and Beth followed. Edward took hold of Elizabeth’s hand. It was lifeless and she was unaffected by his attention.
Trying to lighten the mood, Edward engaged in an empty conversation. “How was your stay Elizabeth? Did you find my mother agreeable?”
“She treated me well…” Elizabeth paused a moment and looked at Beth. “Lady McHugh treated me extremely cordial when she found out that I am with child, she gave me her ivory cameo.”
“My mother must have been taken with you because she would never have parted with such a precious memento. My father gave it to her on my name day.”
“It is far too precious for me to keep. I wish you would return it to her.”
“She would be hurt. I do hope you keep it Elizabeth,” Edward said smiling at Beth.
“Why are we being cordial? We are all living a lie and everyone appears to know.”
“What are you speaking of Elizabeth?” Edward questioned raising his eye brow.
Beth’s eyes met Edward and then moved on to Elizabeth. “Edward, I told Elizabeth everything.” Edward did not become upset he felt relived that he no longer would have to lie.He held Elizabeth’s hand tightly, “Please believe me Elizabeth, I would never have come between you and Colum if I thought he would have married you. I knew that you needed me as much as I needed you and one day maybe you will forgive me and see that I did this for you. Now you can live a better life and become the lady that you should have been all along.”
“Couldn’t you have let me decide?”
“You would still be with Colum’s child and you would be used and ruined. No other man would marry you knowing that you carried an Earl’s child. Can’t you see this is the best for all of us?”
“Edward, you have Beth and you will have my child, but what will I have?”
Silence descended over all. Elizabeth pulled her hands from Edward and let them rest on her lap. Finally, the ride had come to an end. The tower of Edward’s castle loomed like a beacon. Ships at sea could gage their distance once the castle came in view. Since Edward became Earl, the candles glowed brightly throughout the castle, where they were not extinguished until dawn.
Leaving the carriage, the three entered the estate. “Edward I am tired. The traveling has been grueling and I am going to bed.” Beth helped Elizabeth to her room as Edward watched at the foot of the winding stairs. He watched every slow uneven step Elizabeth took. And he had never been happier. And Elizabeth felt as if she was lost.
* * *
Colum opened the gold sealed enveloped. He read the first lines: You are cordially invited to the celebration of the birth of … and he threw it
into the fire. Then he shook his head in disbelief. And spoke out aloud. “How dare he insult me by inviting me to a party to celebrate his wedding and birth of his son?” He stood and reached for the poker to stoke the fire in his large fireplace. A chill covered his body even though the fire warmed him. He felt a chill because he needed the warmth of Elizabeth’s love to comfort him. He felt a chill because he could not warm his heart with Elizabeth’s beautiful smile. She was married now to Edward, and all he could hope for would be to remember her in his dreams and to lay eyes on her one more time.
It was those thoughts of seeing Elizabeth that caused him to accept the invitation. He immediately called his man servant to ready his clothes. He would wear his coat of arms on his elegant crimsoned and gold doublet. His black velvet cape would be set out as well. There would be special instructions to add two more horses to his carriage. He would put on the best show of wealth to rival Edward’s and to hide his pending poverty.
* * *
The day had come that he dreaded, and he found himself traveling to Edward’s enormous castle. Colum wished he had brought a guest, but his feeling and guilt for Elizabeth prevented him from making that kind of show. He knew deep down inside that she loved him, and he had finally come to terms with his love for her, and that she only married Edward because she felt used and unloved.
It would do him little service now to inform Elizabeth that he would put all traditions aside if she would leave Edward and marry him. It would do little service to declare that he had made a mistake. No he could not tell her these things because he felt she would despise him more. And how could he ask her to leave Edward when his future was in jeopardy.
The sun was setting behind the trees and as his coach eased up the tree lined road leading to Edward’s estate. He spied the candles burning brightly in the great room and the tower flooded with torch lights. His heart ached for Elizabeth. He had to hold his own hand to keep it from shaking. His nerves had gotten the best of him. He remembered how captivating and dazzling she first appeared as a young girl.
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