All My Life

by Susan Lucci

  It was constantly amazing and heartwarming to find out how many people really wanted me to win. A year before I did, Helmut and I attended a state dinner for the president of Italy at the White House with President Bill Clinton. Although I had been invited to numerous events at the White House in the past, I was never able to accept those invitations because of other obligations. I certainly would have gone if I could, but work kept me from being able to say yes. So when this invitation arrived, I was delighted that it fell on a date when I could attend, especially in light of my Italian heritage, which I am so proud of. I can only say this was definitely a Cinderella moment.

  It was thrilling to drive up to the entrance. I sat in the back of the limousine and had to control myself from getting too overwhelmed because it was such an unexpected emotional experience. My father was a first-generation Italian American who was such a loyal patriot. He instilled the same love of our country in me from the earliest age. As an American, I couldn’t help but feel all of the history and relevance that place holds as we made our way up the driveway to the front door!

  It was early May, a picture-perfect spring evening, and when we walked into the foyer, I was struck by all the fresh flowers that were everywhere. We were immediately brought to the receiving line, where we met the president and first lady. They were very cordial as we exchanged a few words. Then we were taken into the East Room, where we collected our table number to be seated. Helmut and I were seated at different tables, which I was certain must have been a mistake. He was at table number one and I was at table ten. Helmut said, “Sorry, honey. There must be a mistake.” Of course, we weren’t about to say anything. I turned to Helmut and said, “That’s okay. There can’t be such a thing as a bad seat in the East Room of the White House.”

  When we walked into the room, some members of President Clinton’s cabinet were already inside. One gentlemen came over to me and said, “So…Susan, if you win the Emmy this year, you’ll become a Democrat, right?”

  “It’s a deal!” I said.

  Helmut escorted me to my table. We found table ten right away—in the middle of the room. The first place card we saw read President Bill Clinton. I was seated at the president’s table! President Clinton sat directly across from me; Andrea Mitchell was on my left. The first lady, Hillary Clinton, Alan Greenspan, and Sophia Loren were at the next table.

  I spent the night listening to President Clinton tell fascinating stories, wishing my father could have been there to hear them. He would have appreciated all of the personal anecdotes about historical events that happened during that administration. My father would have known and adored hearing all of what the president was talking about.

  In an effort to involve me in the conversation, the president asked me what my typical day was like at All My Children. I kept my answer brief, assuming he was merely being a gracious host by asking. He then asked what my personal interests were. I told the president that I enjoyed listening and dancing to Latin music. He said he liked Latin music as well. I don’t know why I didn’t expect him to say that, but it was a pleasant surprise.

  There were 110 people at that dinner. I was finally able to meet my idol, Sophia Loren, that night. I didn’t share the story of seeing her in Chanel because it would have taken too long, but I did have the chance to tell Sophia how much I admired her. She listened, nodded, and smiled.

  When I finally did win the Emmy, President Clinton sent me a lovely and thoughtful congratulatory note. It was very touching to receive it. At the bottom, below where he signed his name, he wrote a big hooray with an exclamation point. I thought that was terrific.

  I will never fully understand why people felt as impassioned as they did about my Emmy journey, but they are obviously incredibly generous. A lot of people expressed the thought that I deserved the Emmy long before I actually won it. Many people said I had been overlooked, robbed, etc…. Their comments meant the world to me because these were all people who had their own lives, their own work, and I am sure lots of other things going on. The fact that anyone would care enough, let alone think to make such a generous gesture like that, was incredible to me.

  After my ninth or tenth year of not hearing my name called for Best Actress, I pretty much stopped hearing the name that was called when the envelope was opened. For a split second, my hearing went numb. I listened, but I just didn’t hear. It’s not that I wasn’t excited for my peers; I was. I think it was really more of a self-protective reaction so I wouldn’t feel bad or get my hopes up too much. And despite rumors to the contrary, there were never any behind-the-scenes meltdowns after the show or moments of breaking things because I hadn’t been awarded the Emmy. How could there be when I knew my children were waiting for me at home with lots of hugs and kisses, precious homemade signs, balloons, handwritten notes, poems, and freshly baked chocolate cake!

  The year that I finally did win, however, I will admit, I had a feeling the night before that maybe—just maybe—this was going to be my year. As with every nomination, I agreed to do some press and always hoped for the best, but this particular year, I felt really good about my chances because the story line in the scenes we chose to submit showed some of my best work ever.

  The episode that I finally won the Emmy for had to do with an intervention with my television daughter, a then-eleven-year-old Bianca, who had an eating disorder. It was a very rich story line that was wonderfully written. Everyone in those scenes played their characters with such powerful richness. There were many scenes I remember doing that evoked an incredible response from our crew—a true sign we got it right. I feel very lucky to get that type of feedback long before an episode ever hits the air because I know we’ve done our job well and the viewer at home will react in the same way.

  In the days that followed my win, there was an outpouring of love, support, and good wishes. I received congratulatory notes from friends, colleagues, families, neighbors, the president of the United States, schoolchildren, and lots of people I’d never even met. Diane Sawyer told me she was at home watching the show. When my name was called out, she actually jumped up and down on her bed with excitement.

  Still basking in the victory, my daughter and I did something we love to do—we had decadent and very yummy hot fudge sundaes together at Serendipity in New York. When our sundaes were put in front of us, all of the waiters came to our table and serenaded us, singing, “Congratulations to you!” to the tune of “Happy Birthday.”

  The local florists in Garden City later told me that his entire flower inventory was sold out the day after I won. In fact, the buzz around town was that there were no flowers anywhere in Garden City! ABC sent me nineteen dozen long-stemmed pink roses to celebrate my win. I felt so lucky and blessed that I took those roses and placed them before the statue of the Blessed Mother at our church, the same church I attended growing up. Somehow, that felt so right.

  There were countless bouquets and arrangements sent to my home and also to the All My Children studio. Although I kept some, I donated many to various local hospitals, where I knew they’d brighten up so many people’s day. The studio was inundated with mail and a deluge of gifts, too. There wasn’t enough space in my dressing room or the hallways to hold all of the items that kept coming, so the producers set up banquet tables in the rehearsal hall that overwhelmed me when I saw it.

  When I arrived at work the following day, I was met with incredible cheering and applause from the cast and crew. There were streamers and banners congratulating me everywhere. When I appeared the next day on Good Morning America, they, too, gave me nineteen dozen long-stemmed pink roses, except theirs were in all different shades of pink. They were gorgeous.

  A couple of days later, I was invited to city hall to accept the key to New York City from Mayor Giuliani. That was a very exciting surprise. I’m told that with this key, I have unlimited access to anyplace in Manhattan. It sits among some of my most treasured keepsakes in my den at my home in Garden City. It’s nice to know it’s there, just
in case I’m ever feeling locked out!

  After I received the key at the ceremony, Helmut; my ABC publicist, Sallie Schoneboom; a couple of colleagues; and I planned a celebration lunch at the famed restaurant “21” in midtown Manhattan to indulge in their wonderfully delicious hamburgers before returning to the studio to work. On the way from city hall to “21,” a big delivery truck pulled up next to our car. On the side of the truck was the number “19.”

  Sallie said, “Susan, Look! It’s the number nineteen. It’s your new lucky number!” What was so amazing was that this truck had no other markings on it. It only had the number nineteen on the back.

  We didn’t call ahead to the restaurant to let them know we were coming, so the maître d’ didn’t know to expect us. We thought we’d take our chances of just dropping by, and hopefully, they’d be able to seat us. When we walked through the door, the people in the restaurant stood up and started clapping for me. I was astounded by their warm and very unexpected response. Several people graciously sent over bottles of champagne to our table.

  Since my win, people all over have continued to come up to me and say they were glad I finally got that Emmy. A fire truck full of New York City fireman spotted me at a red light while I was sitting in the back of my car studying a script. They looked down from high atop their truck and each of the guys flashed me two big thumbs-up. I was completely blown away by their reaction. This was a sight I will never forget.

  I am eternally grateful to all of the people who have expressed so many kind words and good wishes to me—before I ever won—and since I’ve won, too. There are simply no words to describe that kind of outpouring of love and support. And given my now twenty-one nominations over the course of my career, I will readily admit that although it really is an honor just to be nominated, winning is definitely better!

  Sallie Schoneboom, my longtime publicist from ABC and someone I think of as a dear friend, had the responsibility of being the courier for my Emmy when we attended a Super Soap Weekend event in Florida later that year. The award would be on display for fans to see throughout the weekend. ABC Super Soap Weekend was organized in conjunction with Disney and ABC to bring soap opera actors from the various ABC shows to visit and mingle with their fans. Those weekends were always a lot of fun because they gave me the chance to meet face-to-face the many people who watch our show.

  There was one fan who attended the first Super Soap Weekend who I will say is likely the biggest Susan Lucci fan I have ever met. Carlos is a radio DJ who lives in Miami. He came to the first Super Soap weekend in 1996. He isn’t a typical-looking soap fan. In fact, at first glance, he looked a little intimidating. His hair was always a different color each time we saw him and he always had some type of hardware or jewelry through his nose. The first time we spotted him in the crowd, security was alerted because he was so imposing. However, it turned out that Carlos was not only an extremely nice man, but he has really exquisite taste in clothing and jewelry. He never once showed up to an event without bringing me a gorgeous blouse, dress, or a beautiful pair of earrings. Carlos became a Super Soap tradition for the entire thirteen years I attended those events. And, Carlos was also front and center at my opening night on Broadway.

  Super Soap Weekends were special because fans could connect with their favorite ABC daytime stars on a very personal level. Upward of twenty-five thousand fans attended. I often did three or four autograph sessions a day, trying to make sure I never left anyone standing on that line without a hello, handshake, photo, or autograph. That extra time often made me late for my next commitment, but I didn’t care because it is such an honor to be invited into people’s living rooms five days a week, and if they could stand in line to meet me, surely I could stay to meet them, too. I met generations of viewers, including many who said they had grown up watching All My Children because their mothers and grandmothers watched it.

  All throughout the 1999 Super Soap event, Sallie kept the Emmy very close to her. Knowing it would be a terrible situation if she were to somehow lose my brand-new award, she carefully wrapped the statue in a towel, placed it in a bag, and then put that bag inside another bag, which she slung over her shoulder like a school bag. When it came time to transport the award back to New York, the people at security decided it was a dangerous object with sharp edges that could possibly injure someone. They told her they were going to confiscate it for security purposes.

  Now, this was pre-9/11, so security was much more lax than it is today. Still, the security guards on duty felt the Emmy was a potential threat or danger to other passengers. Sallie pleaded with them not to take it away.

  “You don’t understand. This is Susan Lucci’s Emmy. You can’t take it away.” She was literally begging.

  “Oh yeah? How did you get Susan Lucci’s Emmy?” one of the guards suspiciously asked.

  Needless to say, Sallie was then detained for questioning. She was genuinely fearful she was going to be arrested for stealing my Emmy. Luckily, the security team at the Orlando airport believed her story and eventually gave her back my Emmy and allowed her to board the plane to New York, where she immediately delivered the statue to me, I none the wiser. I actually had no idea this event ever took place until I spoke to Sallie while writing this book. When I asked her why she never told me, she said she was afraid to admit how close she came to losing the Emmy it took me twenty-nine years and nineteen nominations to win!

  The year after my celebrated win, I was asked to host the Emmys. The 2000 show was set to take place at Radio City Music Hall once again. In an ironic twist of fate, I was not nominated for an award that year. Still, I always enjoyed being a part of the show, whether I was a presenter, host, or nominee.

  There was only one time throughout the years that my heart stopped cold, for a reason that is every actor’s worst nightmare at an awards show. It happened at the twenty-ninth annual Daytime Emmy Awards in 2002. I was backstage, having just presented the award for Best Actor. The nominees for Best Actress were being announced next, so the producer told me to stand offstage instead of trying to make it back to my seat in time, just in case my name was announced as the winner.

  The winner was Susan Flannery from Bold and the Beautiful. Rosie O’Donnell was standing backstage with me when the nominees were read. There was so much excitement when everyone heard “Susan” that we never heard the last name that was called out. Someone backstage turned to me and said, “You won! They called your name!” Rosie was pushing me to go out on the stage. “Are you sure?” I asked. She said, “Yes!”

  The orchestra was playing the theme from All My Children, so I figured it must have been me after all. It was all very confusing because I wasn’t sure what was happening. Just as I started to walk onto the stage, I saw Susan Flannery making her way up the steps and her cast mates standing and applauding. That’s when I knew I wasn’t the winner. Thank God I stopped before I got too far onstage. I literally froze in my tracks and all but moonwalked back behind the curtain, hoping and praying that no one saw my mistake. I felt terrible for Susan because the show had cued the wrong music for her as she made her walk from her seat to the stage. Still, I know the joy she must have felt to accept that award and I was very happy for her win.

  No conversation about the Emmys would be complete without talking about all of the spoofs over the years regarding my many nominations and losses. A girl must keep a sense of humor about these things, right?

  When Sweet One sugar substitute offered me the opportunity to do a commercial for their product in 1989, their concept was intended to portray me as the opposite of my usual self, while throwing a typical “Erica” tantrum. Even though we actually shot the commercial after my tenth Emmy nomination and loss, the producer presented an idea to me while we were filming that I thought was funny. It was suggested that I act as if I had lost an eleventh or twelfth time, too. Caught up in the humor of it all, I ad-libbed the line “Eleven years without an Emmy! What does a person have to do around here to get an Emmy?�
� It turned out the Sweet One people and the producer liked it and wanted to keep it in the final cut. Of course, I had no idea my stab at comedy would actually be a premonition of what was to come. As you know by now, I didn’t win that Emmy for several more years. But when I did…yes, it was a slice of heaven to finally take home that gorgeous trophy.

  On October 6, 1990, I embarked upon one of the scariest and funniest experiences of my life; I hosted Saturday Night Live. Even then, I was aware I was working with one of the best casts in the history of the show.

  Doing Saturday Night Live was absolutely fantastic. The cast and crew were great to work with. Everyone there was very funny and superkind. I didn’t mind poking fun at myself or at Erica. Let’s face it, there were a lot of people in addition to the folks at SNL who were having fun at both my character’s and my expense over the whole Emmy thing, so why shouldn’t I? All of the late-night comedians were having a field day telling “Susan Lucci” jokes that pertained to my not winning. The expression pulling a Susan Lucci actually became part of our nation’s vernacular for a while. There have even been a number of songs inspired by Erica Kane. The alternative rock band Urge Overkill wrote one called “Erica Kane” which talks about another Emmy passing her by. The late singer Aaliyah recorded a song called “Erica Kane” which was released after her tragic and unexpected death on her album I Care 4 U. And the band B5 also recorded a song about Erica Kane entitled “Erika Cain.” The song talks about how the singer is in a relationship with a beautiful girl, but she is crazy. B5 contacted All My Children’s producers about doing a cameo on the show and ultimately appeared in the April 25, 2008, episode as activists rallying for Erica’s release from prison.