by Riana Lucas
I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I hear what he is saying and it even makes sense. But it is still difficult not to feel guilty about what she is feeling. It also makes me a little angry. I hate that it does, but it does not change how I feel. I did not choose any of this. I did not ask to be kidnapped. I did not ask to be raised in that horrible place by those monsters. I did not ask Holly to bring me back here, and I did not ask for these fae to become my friends or for Reed to become my soul mate. None of it was a choice I made. I do not regret any of it, but that does not mean that I should be blamed for it.
Reed, of course, hears my thoughts and senses my emotions. He moves to me quickly, standing right in front of me so that I have to look up at him. “Stop it. Of course, none of this is your fault. We all know that, even Holly. My dad is right. Once Holly is better, you’ll see that she doesn’t really blame you for all of this. She needs someone to blame, and she knows you’re the strongest. You can take it and forgive her for it later.”
This time I hear the words more clearly. What Reed is saying makes perfect sense. If I had to lash out at someone, blame them for all of my problems and expect them to take it without getting their feelings hurt or getting angry at me in return, it would probably be Holly. Her strength is great and it is not only physical but mental as well. She would be the one that would be able to bear the weight of my blame but still be there for me later.
“Okay, I know you are right. I guess I know that deep down Holly cannot hate me so much or else she would have made it clear all along. But I still hate that she even feels a little bit like I took her life from her.”
“So make it better,” Reed says easily.
“How? How can I make it better?”
“Help convince her to stay here, in her home. Get her to take the treatment that will help to cure her. Be there for her through all of this, even when she lashes out at you again, which we all know she probably will. Then, when she’s better, give her that life back with you being a part of it.”
Reed makes it all sound so simple.
“It is,” he says aloud, reading my thoughts again.
“Stop that.” I smile up at him.
“Both of you stop that. It’s kind of freaky,” Gideon says.
I glance at him to see that his eyes are narrowed, his gaze bouncing back and forth between Reed and I, as if he’s trying to see our connection. Willow is watching us too, her expression one of wonder. Rowan and Anna are both looking at us tenderly and lovingly, like only parents could. Thorne is the only one that does not have his attention focused on us. He is standing off to the side, staring at the closed door to the room that contains Holly and my mother. His face is etched with deep worry; my heart goes out to him. I know what it is like when you fear for the life of someone you love.
Hoping to distract him from his thoughts, I decide to explain the soul mate thing to them. At least as best as I can. I am sure Rowan and Anna will be able to help with the explanation, maybe even offer some more insight to Reed and I as well. At the thought of discussing this with Reed, I get a bit nervous. We haven’t really talked about the depth of our connection and what it will mean for us in the future. The thought of discussing that in front of the others makes me even more nervous.
“Let’s just talk about the basics of it, explain what it means and how it works. We’ll talk about what it means for us later. In private.”
His whispered words float in my mind. Discussing this in private sends a different feeling through me. I like the idea of getting to spend more time with Reed, alone. I feel as if I have known him my whole life, this connection we have only makes those feeling stronger. But in reality, we have not. There is still so much that I do not know about him, and that he does not know about me. The idea of getting to know these things makes me happy. The fact that we will actually get the chance to spend that time together makes me even happier.
“Okay,” I whisper back.
I notice that everyone except Thorne is watching us again. I feel my cheeks heat in embarrassment but shake it off. “Let’s go to one of the other rooms where it is more private. I will explain what we know then with the help of Rowan and Anna.”
Gideon’s gaze moves over to them, immediately realizing the significance in my words. Rowan nods once in acknowledgment before turning, Anna’s hand firmly in his, and leads us to a room a few doors down. Thorne does not make a move to follow; he does not even acknowledge anyone as they pass by him. I wait to go last, stopping by Thorne’s side.
“She’ll be okay. I promise,” I tell him softly but confidently.
At first, I do not think he is going to answer me, but he finally does. It is a whispered question that he asks without taking his eyes from the closed door. “How can you be so sure?”
“Because she is Holly. She is the strongest, bravest fae I have ever met. She would never give up against the disease, and she would never turn her back on her friends and family. She is scared now, but once she gets past that…” I glance at the door for a moment then turn back to him. He finally looks at me. His eyes are tortured, causing my heart to break even more. I reach out, taking his hand in mine. I give it a small squeeze as I continue, my words fierce and strong. “Not only will she accept the treatment, but I would not be surprised if Holly knocks the disease right out of her. She will come back with a vengeance and see this illness destroyed!”
Thorne’s lips twitch, but he holds back a smile. I know I probably sounded foolish, but I believe every single word that left my mouth. Thorne gives my hand a squeeze then lets go. He takes a deep breath, straightening his shoulders. He takes one final look at the wooden door then looks back down at me. This time he lets the smile touch his lips. He nods toward where the others have disappeared to. “Come on and tell me about this soul mate business then.”
17
“How did it happen?”
“How could this happen with a halfling?”
“How many fae has this happened to?”
The questions are rapid-fire; there isn’t even enough time to begin to answer one before another is tossed out. Reed and I both look to his parents for help. I narrow my eyes when I see both of them sitting there trying to hold back their laughter.
“Mom? Dad? Do you think you could help us out here?” Reed asks with an exaggerated sigh.
“Okay, okay. Everyone quiet down. One question at a time and I’ll try to answer them the best I can, but remember, I don’t know everything about this either,” Rowan finally speaks up.
Everyone is quiet but I can see the questions forming in their heads, dying to get out. It would be funny if Reed and I were not the topic of discussion and it was not such a personal one.
Rowan eyes them for a moment to make sure they are going to remain quiet and that he has their full attention. When he is satisfied with what he sees, he begins explaining. “Okay. So you all know the basics. Reed and Poppy have a bond that is unlike anything most fae will ever experience. It goes beyond our basic abilities of being able to sense one another or feel danger. This is a connection that spans further than that and runs much deeper. They can communicate with one another mentally and feel what the other is feeling. Even from a great distance.”
“How far does this reach?” Gideon asks when Rowan pauses.
“I am not entirely sure. I have not been able to test it much. I know that I was able to sense Anna when she was in the human world, but it was faint, and I had to try very hard. That being said, if Anna had been actively trying to stay connected to me, I am not sure what the result would have been. She was not aware of the ability we had so she never tried.”
I glance at Anna, concerned that she may be upset at this statement, but she is not. She offers Rowan a sad smile, letting me know that Rowan has already told her about this. I am sure it saddens her to know that she could have reached out to him at any time over the years, if only she had known how to. I am sure though that like me, she understands Rowan’s reasons for what he did. Re
ed would have been both of their priorities. Anna would have sacrificed everything to protect him, just as Rowan did.
My attention is drawn back to Rowan when he begins to speak again. “So I guess the answer is, I don’t know. My assumption is that it will reach just about anywhere if both parties are working at maintaining the connection. Reed and Poppy have not been separated by worlds since they met, so they have not been able to test it yet.”
Everyone takes a moment to process everything they have been told so far. Willow is the first to speak up with a question. “How did this happen? I mean, why them?” She looks apologetically toward Reed. “No offense to Reed, but he isn’t even full fae.”
Reed winks at her to let her know he is not offended at all and then turns his attention to his father. I do the same. This is a question I would really like to know the answer to as well. The fact that Reed was not full fae was the first thing that threw me off to begin with. I know the fae have magical abilities and strange phenomenon that would boggle the human mind, but I am a full fae. I have been around these strange things my entire life. I have experienced many things myself and heard stories of many more. Not once in my entire life have I ever heard of a halfling exceeding the magical abilities of a full fae, much less having such a rare ability shared with a full fae. It is literally unheard of. Unfortunately, by the look on Rowan's face, it looks like I may not be getting that answer anytime soon.
He looks at Reed and I when he answers Willow’s questions. “Sadly, I do not know the answer to that. You all are very educated in the ways of the fae, and as you know, nothing like this has ever happened before. Neither the queen nor I have ever heard of it either. And, well, the truth is we will probably never know. The fae are linked with nature like no other, and nature has a way of doing some unexplainable things that are well beyond the magic of the fae. I think that not only is the connection between the two of you one of those things, but soul mates, in general, are as well. It is a gift from Mother Nature herself and is not to be taken lightly, but to always appreciate and protect.” His words and eyes are serious when he tells us this. The look does not change when he turns to the others. “All of you must remember that. Soul mates are an amazing gift that we must all protect. There is a reason why we have never heard of them until now.”
Not that I would ever doubt anyone in this room, but it is reassuring to see each of them nod their agreement. I can see in their eyes that they realize just how important it is that this information remains a secret. Like Rowan stated, I am not sure why we have never heard of it before, but there is a reason. I cannot even imagine the things someone like Damien or the king would have done with information like this. Although they are both dead, there is always someone else waiting to take up the reins of evil. Waiting to destroy the happiness of others and corrupt the worlds, both human and fae. This must be kept from others, not only for our sake but for that of the others that are undoubtedly out there.
After a few more minutes of thoughtful silence, Thorne asks a question I had not thought of. It is an important one, but the idea makes my blood run cold. I can feel that it has the same effect on Reed. He moves closer to me, his body heat helping me to keep warm from the sudden chill. “Is there a way to break the connection?”
“Well…” Rowan hesitates. He glances at Anna. Her arms are wrapped around herself as if she is cold as well. We are all feeling the same effects of what the possible answers are to that question, as well as the horrible thought of the connection ever being broken. Although it was weird, scary, and even sometimes embarrassing or annoying, I have not only grown used to the connection, but somewhat dependent on it. The thought of Reed not being this close to me, of not being able to feel his emotions, hear his words in my head, or know when he is in trouble or needs me, is a horrible thought. It is definitely something I do not ever want to experience.
“You will never, ever have to if I can help it. I promise you that.” His words have the perfect effect on me; they calm and soothe me when I need it the most.
“Me too,” I tell him, trying to do the same for him.
Reed reaches out to take my hand, and I see Rowan do the same with Anna. He and Anna appear to be caught up in one of their own internal conversations. I smile at them, seeing what everyone else must see when Reed and I communicate. The intensity of their gazes as they look at each other is almost overwhelming. No wonder the others tease us so much.
Once Anna is tucked close to Rowan’s side, he looks from her to the rest of us once again. There is not even a small amount of embarrassment when he notices that we are watching the two of them. “That is another question I am not entirely sure of. I think it is safe to say that the most obvious way would be death. If either one of the two were to be killed, I am sure the connection would be severed. As far as other ways…” He shakes his head, mouth in a grim line. “The only thing I can say is that the fae are the most magical creatures there are. There are so many fae that do so much good, not only here in Faery Land, but also in the human world. But there are just as many evil and malicious fae amongst us. If the wrong one found out the right answers, they could probably find a way to break the connection, and my instincts tell me that it probably would not be pleasant, which is another reason why it is so important to keep this a secret.”
“Rowan is correct. There are many who would use this information to harm others, but there are also other reasons to keep this a secret.” We glance at the now-open door where my mother and Holly are standing.
They are both much more composed than they were when we left them. I can still see a hint of puffiness under both of their eyes as well as a bit of dampness from crying, but other than that they both look much calmer. My mother has her arm tightly around Holly’s shoulders as if she is reluctant to let her go. Holly is staring at the floor, unable or unwilling to meet any of our eyes. I am sure she is embarrassed that we saw her breakdown, but there is no reason for her to feel this way. I would tell her this, but I know Holly. Drawing more attention to it would only make her feel worse. Instead, I ignore it completely. Hoping to distract Holly from her embarrassment and draw them further into the room and the conversation, I ask, “What else do you think they could do with the information? What could be worse than trying to hurt one of us?”
With a grateful look, my mother herds Holly into the room, shutting the door behind them. They move closer to our group. Willow immediately stands so that my mother and Holly can take the seat she and Anna were occupying. Once they are seated, my mother thanks Willow. Thorne moves behind them and my mother returns her focus back the question I have just asked.
“I think that they could try to duplicate it with magic. Not many fae are capable of this sort of magic, but there are a few. If they were able to connect two fae together in a mental and emotional way, imagine what they could do with an army of fae. They would become virtually unstoppable. Once the connection was made, what would stop them from trying to take over the mind of that fae? Then what if they were able to extend it to halflings and humans? Fae have always had an ability to manipulate the minds of humans and halflings, but total mind control has never been possible. If a fae were able to mimic the natural ability of soul mates through magic? I do not think that is a world I would want to live in.”
“Do you really think that is possible?” I ask in both disbelief and horror. Having power over another’s mind would be the ultimate weapon. It is a world I would not like to live in either.
“I honestly do not know, my daughter, but within the faery world, anything is possible.”
I nod my agreement, as do the others. It is growing more and more imperative that this secret be kept. I am sure the fae of the past thought of these possible outcomes as well, which would explain why no one knows of this.
“I think we need to keep it this way,” Reed whispers in my mind.
“I agree,” I say out loud. The others look mildly amused, but Holly jerks her head up. I catch the movement out of the corn
er of my eye and cringe. I am sure she is shooting death daggers at me with her eyes as usual, but I know that I must meet this death stare head on. Whatever is bothering her and making her hate me needs to be worked out. And it needs to happen now. Reed squeezes my hand for encouragement as I turn to face Holly.
I am completely caught off guard by the look on her face. She is not glaring at me but instead looking at me with such deep regret and sorrow that I have to blink a few times to make sure I am seeing her correctly.
“You are,” Reed whispers in my mind.
Holly glances at the others. They remain quiet and do not move. They want to know what is going on as well. I cannot blame them nor will I ask them to leave. They care for Holly as much as I do. They are here to support her and help her through whatever is going on with her. If they do not understand what is happening, they will not be able to help her through it.
Holly lets out a tired breath. Then she straightens her shoulders and looks at me once again. “I am sorry, Poppy. I should not have lashed out at you the way I did.” Her voice is soft, but her apology is clear.
“It's okay, Holly. I know you did not mean it. It was the disease making you talk that way.”
She shakes her head as my words are spoken. “No Poppy, that’s not true. Well, not entirely. Yes, the disease is setting in and making me crazy, but it is only intensifying my true feelings. I do not hate you, but I am jealous of you.”
I am completely baffled by her admission. Why would Holly be jealous of me? I have had the worst life ever. “Why?” is all I can manage to ask.
“Isn’t it obvious?”
“Umm, no, not really.” I shake my head in disbelief.
“You have everything. You come back after years of being away and our people welcome you with open arms, not once questioning your loyalty. You have a mother that has searched for you for years, never giving up hope that you would someday return to her. And when you did, she loves you more than words can even express. You have made great friends in mere days that have your back even when you are going into the most dangerous situations. You have a soul mate for crying out loud, someone who will always be there for you and love you no matter what. Who wouldn’t be jealous?”
