by Emma Miles
‘It’s later than I thought.’ Kesta raised her eyebrows. When she turned to look at Jorrun, she saw he was blushing. She shook her head, in a way it was quite sweet, but she was still shocked at how conservative Elden men could be.
‘We missed the welcome feast?’
‘No one will care, Jorrun.’
‘I care,’ he replied stiffly. ‘They’ll think I’m rude.’
‘They’ll think you missed your wife.’ She watched as his cheeks reddened further. ‘Let’s get some food and go back downstairs.’
***
They spent little of the two weeks in the Hold, instead exploring the islands and visiting some of Kesta’s favourite hiding places. As agreed, Jorrun didn’t bring up his concerns about Bractius again, but she could see how much it worried him in the tensing of his shoulders, the way his eyes would grow distant and his brows knot together in a frown. As much as she tried not to think of it, Kesta’s own happiness was also dogged by a shadow of anxiety.
Catya was overjoyed to see Jorrun, and he watched on in amazement as the previously introverted girl chattered away to him unselfconsciously. She showed him the fighting skills she’d learned and tracked for him through the forest that surrounded the Hold. Dia left them alone for the most part, only insisting they join her on the morning of the Elden delegation’s leaving as Jorrun’s authority was needed to close some trade matters.
‘By the way, has there been any news from Chem?’ Dia asked as they concluded their business.
Jorrun held her gaze as he shook his head. ‘Nothing at the moment.’
Kesta narrowed her eyes. Why did she have the feeling he was evading the truth?
Dia made a small noise in her throat, obviously thinking the same thing. ‘Another boat landed on Dolphin Island last night, more Borrow refugees.’
Jorrun leaned forward. ‘What news do they bring?’
Dia sighed. ‘The same. The islands are cursed. They seek sanctuary, food, rest.’
‘You’ve granted it?’
‘For now.’ Dia gave a slight shake of her head.
A man appeared in the doorway and waved a hand toward Merkis Vilnue.
‘Looks like we’re ready to sail.’ Merkis Vilnue looked around at them all.
Kesta froze. She’d been determined not to get upset, but pressure rose up from her chest to push against her eyes and throat. She couldn’t look up, but she could see in her peripheral vision that both Jorrun and her mother were watching her.
Jorrun stood slowly to shake the hands of Arrus, Worvig, and Dia, and thank them for their hospitality. Kesta held her breath as he touched her cheek lightly and kissed her forehead. He walked away across the hall without another word. Kesta raised her hand to her face, still feeling the ghost of his touch.
‘Kesta?’ Dia demanded.
She turned to see her mother glaring at her with her arms folded. Kesta scowled. ‘What?’
Dia’s eyes widened. ‘With me, now!’ Dia grabbed Kesta’s arm and almost dragged her out of the doors at the back of the hall. ‘What’s going on?’
Kesta shrugged stubbornly, avoiding her mother’s mis-matched eyes. ‘Nothing’s going on.’
‘Well something should be!’ Dia placed her hands on her hips. ‘Why is he leaving? Why are you not going with him?’
‘Because nothing has changed!’ Kesta all but shouted, her throat hurt and her vision blurred.
Dia stared at her open-mouthed. ‘You had two weeks! Did you not talk to each other?’
‘Not about that.’
Dia rolled her eyes and blew out air loudly. ‘You two are idiots! I can’t believe you couldn’t find a solution. I told you that I’d support you against King Bractius if Jorrun came her—’
Kesta threw her hands up in the air. ‘Jorrun and I have been through all that, mother! If he comes to stay here, it could mean war. If I go there, we risk any child we might have being ruled by that awful man. Not to mention I’d have to endure the way he treats Jorrun.’
‘From what I recall, there were a lot of ‘ifs’ in your argument that might never happen.’
‘But the whole point of ‘ifs’ is they could.’
Dia narrowed her eyes. ‘The way I see it, the only thing stopping the two of you being together is that you’re too stubborn, and he’s too rigidly noble! That and the fact he won’t stand up to Bractius, which he certainly ought to.’
‘Bractius is his king.’
‘I’m your Icante but that doesn’t stop you arguing with me.’ She raised an eyebrow.
Kesta tutted. ‘It isn’t the same at all. It’s complicated.’
Dia pursed her lips. ‘If you say so. I’ve never known you to give up, why aren’t you fighting for him?’
‘Because he isn’t fighting for me!’ Her eyes widened and she stared at her mother, breathing hard. Where had those words come from? Was that what she really believed?
‘I don’t think that’s true,’ Dia said slowly. ‘From what I know of him, I would say he’s fighting his own feelings to keep you safe, to do what he thinks is best for you. By the way, his ship is leaving.’
Kesta took a step toward the stairs, every instinct demanding she run up them to look out of her window, but clenching her fists she stopped herself.
‘I thought so.’ Dia sighed loudly. ‘I’ll get you one more chance, after that I’m done with helping you both and you’re on your own.’
‘We don’t need any help,’ Kesta retorted.
‘You need your heads knocked together,’ Dia murmured. With a last sharp look at Kesta, her mother made her way up the stairs to her room.
***
Kesta pushed her food around her plate, not even seeing it. She’d thrown herself into working, training hard with Heara and Catya and had even gone sailing alone around the islands with the excuse of looking out for Borrow refugees. Nothing had quelled the churning of her stomach or lifted the heavy darkness in her heart.
Someone knocked on her door and she sighed. She slowly pushed herself up off the chair and went to open it. A young boy stood there with a thin letter in his hand.
‘Silene.’ He nodded.
She murmured her thanks and took it to her desk. Even a letter from Rosa didn’t raise her spirits. Then she looked at the handwriting and the air caught in her lungs, she nearly missed the chair as she sat. She lifted it to her face to breathe in the scent, but it only smelt of parchment. She broke the seal, scanning the words. Her vision blurred as her eyes filled with water and she rubbed them with her fingers so she could read the letter again.
My Kesta.
I have been told off by your mother. Again. She is right though, we need to talk. I was wrong, we should have done so. Will you come to the Raven Tower?
I miss you.
Jorrun. X
Chapter Three
Kesta; Kingdom of Elden
Kesta reached up to brush away the wisps of her dark hair as the wind teased it across her face. The earthy smell of the silty lake brought a tingle to her chest muscles and she breathed in deeper. It was a warm day, a few clouds casting shadows on the grey-green water, riding up over the small waves. Her smile grew and her heart beat faster as the ship moved out onto the lake and she saw a familiar shape reaching up beyond the trees. The Raven Tower. It looked dark, but sunlight glinted off the westward window, even from here she could see two ravens circling lazily. She stretched out her fingers, hands down by her sides, using her magic to call up a wind to fill the sails and shorten the distance to the shore. One of the warriors gave a low sound of alarm at the ship’s sudden speed, but Kesta responded by increasing it further, her smile turning into a grin.
She couldn’t wait.
It had been less than three weeks since she’d seen him. Less than three weeks since they’d parted for a second time, intending that this time it would be forever. She swallowed, looking down at the deck as grief mingled with the butterflies in her belly. This third time might really be the last. She had to remember that n
othing had changed. Her skin tightened in a blush and she almost lost her concentration on her magic. Well, Jorrun had relented in one thing. She bit at her lower lip and turned her eyes back to The Tower. She was just here to talk.
Kesta ceased her magic, her hand going to her throat, her eyes still on the Raven Tower until the trees obscured her view. As they neared the narrow wharf, she spotted a familiar figure striding out to meet them. Ceasing her magic, she crossed the deck to the prow.
‘Kurghan!’
The bearded carpenter lifted his hand in a wave. She leapt across from the ship onto the wooden planks of the wharf as soon as the gap was narrow enough, not waiting for the warriors to tie up. Kurghan grabbed her arm to steady her as she landed, then shook her hand with a grin.
‘My Lady.’
‘It’s good to see you.’ She looked him up and down. ‘Are all your family well?’
‘They are, lady.’
Movement caught her eye and looking up she saw Rosa and Tantony making their way down the path from the Hold toward her. She drew in a deep breath at the sight of her friends and for a moment the prickling and churning of her stomach calmed. They both looked so well, their eyes bright and their postures upright and confident. Kesta touched Kurghan’s arm to excuse herself and hurried to meet them.
‘Kesta Silene.’ Rosa gave a curtsy and Tantony bowed.
Kesta growled at them and stepped forward to grab Rosa in a hug and then kissed Tantony’s cheek.
‘You’ve trimmed your beard, Merkis,’ she teased.
Tantony’s hand went up to his face and he coloured slightly beneath his greying whiskers.
Rosa linked her arm through Kesta’s and turned her toward the Hold. ‘Catya didn’t come then?’
‘No, I couldn’t tear her away from her training with Heara.’
‘She really is serious about being a bodyguard?’ Rosa raised her eyebrows.
‘She is.’ Kesta sighed silently. ‘And what about you?’
Rosa and Tantony looked at each other, sharing a smile. ‘The Queen has finally responded to my request to marry.’ Rosa squeezed her arm. ‘She has agreed.’
Kesta drew in a sharp breath and turned to hug her friend again. ‘When?’
Rosa glanced at Tantony. ‘We were hoping to do it while you were here; so, soon. Unless …’ She watched Kesta hopefully, but Kesta looked away toward the Hold’s gate.
‘Let’s go in.’ Tantony placed a hand on Rosa’s shoulder.
They made their way through the gate of the outer ring of the Hold, a tall earthwork with wooden ramparts. Beyond were the thatched houses that nestled safely between the Hold’s defences. Kesta’s eyes narrowed as she glanced around at the buildings, she’d have to persuade them to change the roofs to slate. The warriors guarding the main gate stood up straight to salute Kesta. That was new. She paused to nod in return. When she reached the inner ward, beyond the high stone walls, her smile returned at once as she gazed around to see the results of the work she’d started months ago. The herb and vegetable beds were flourishing, geese wandered the edges of a small pond and the foundations and shell of a large barn were in place, several men working on nailing up planks for the walls.
‘What do you think?’ Rosa asked.
‘It look—’ her voice caught in her throat as she saw him standing across the ward outside the Raven Tower. Her stomach flipped and her blood rushed to her cheeks.
‘Go on,’ Rosa said. ‘We’ll see you later.’
She nodded without taking her eyes off Jorrun. He didn’t move as she approached, not even a smile, but the spark in his blue eyes made her lips tingle and her heart beat faster.
‘Silene.’ He gave a slight bow.
‘Thane.’ She raised an eyebrow in response.
He took his hands out from behind his back and pushed open the door to the Raven Tower. Kesta stepped in and Jorrun followed her, closing the door behind them and sliding a bolt across.
She stared at the bolt, her mouth slightly open. Had that been here before? She had never known the Raven Tower to be actually locked.
He brushed the back of her hand with his fingers and she turned to face him. A smile lit his face and electricity surged through every muscle of her body. She slid her arms around his ribs and he kissed her as though his life depended on it. He stepped away, leaving her feeling suddenly cold and breathing hard. Taking her hand, he led her up the narrow winding steps of The Tower. She glanced around his room, turning to run her fingers along his dark beard. ‘Tantony has trimmed his, but you’ve let yours grow.’
He grabbed her hand and kissed her wrist. ‘Kesta, we are meant to be talking.’ His voice still held a hint of the Chemman accent he’d picked up again from spending time with his half-brother. She loved how he almost purred his ‘r’s.
She grinned at him and perched herself on the edge of the table. He’d obviously made some effort to tidy up as the highest room of the Raven Tower wasn’t as cluttered as it had previously been. There were still more books than there was space for, some balanced precariously on the windowsill above his small bed pushed awkwardly up against the curved wall of The Tower room. Azrael was making slow, looping circuits of the room, excited she was here.
‘Settle down, Bug,’ Jorrun scolded gently.
The fire-spirit hissed at him and came to hover near Kesta. Her smile faded as she regarded Jorrun’s serious expression. For a while he looked at everywhere except her and her heart sank.
‘Kesta.’ He took in a deep breath and regarded her unblinking. ‘Why did you not tell me walkers often can’t have children?’
She started, her mouth opened for a moment before she could reply. ‘Well, I … it’s common knowledge, isn’t it?’
‘Not to me, not to Bractius. Not until your mother told me in her letter.’ He turned away from her.
She folded her arms across her chest. ‘It can be difficult for us, but not impossible, obviously. And often the children of walkers have no magic themselves. I was one of the few exceptions.’
He looked at her over his shoulder. ‘So, what I fear from Bractius might not even happen.’
‘But it might.’
He looked away again and a sudden suspicion entered her mind. She jumped to her feet and clenched her fists. ‘Are you saying you don’t want me because I might not be able to have a child?’
He spun about and placed his hands on her arms. ‘Of course not! It just means maybe we are worrying about something that may never happen.’ He sighed. ‘But then we should consider it might and we’ll have to plan ahead about what we’ll do regarding Bractius.’
‘Hold on a moment.’ She placed a hand flat against his chest. She took in several fast breaths as she looked up at him. ‘You were adamant we couldn’t be together. You broke my heart, Jorrun!’
He closed his eyes. ‘And my own, too. I thought I was doing the right thing. I was doing the right thing.’
Azrael crackled and spat. ‘Foolissh human! You made yoursself sick!’
‘Bug!’ Jorrun held a finger up warning the fire-spirit to silence.
Kesta cocked her head to one side. ‘Sick?’
‘He didn’t eat, or sleep.’ Azrael sounded almost delighted. ‘Couldn’t even read or do hiss magic!’
Jorrun growled. ‘Bug!’ His shoulders sagged and he turned his pale eyes back to Kesta. ‘I missed you. I really missed you.’
She stood on her tiptoes to kiss him but he placed two fingers over her mouth. ‘Kesta, our situation hasn’t changed. Bractius won’t allow me to live on the Fulmers. I thought you didn’t want to live here under his command? That you wouldn’t allow our children to be manipulated by the Elden throne?’
She set her heels back on the floor and sat again on the table, her eyes still on his. Was she willing to stay in Northold? As happy as she’d been to return to her family and home on the Fulmers she couldn’t deny she’d been totally miserable. As such an independent person she’d been furious at how much she’d pined for Jorrun
. But even thinking about the way Bractius used Jorrun made her clench her teeth. She knew she’d find it hard to tolerate.
She bit her lower lip. ‘What if I was free to come and go between here and the Fulmers?’
‘I would never stop you going.’
‘Would Bractius?’
He pulled at the end of his beard. ‘He might, or at least try to make things awkward.’
‘If we did have a child, my mother would protect it in the Fulmers.’
Jorrun looked away, sighing and rubbing at his face with his hand. ‘Then we would risk war, or at the least animosity. We’ve been through this.’
‘But as you said, it might not even happen.’
He turned to look at her. ‘But as you said, it might.’
She growled. ‘We’re not getting anywhere.’
His eyes searched her face.
‘I would have to be able to go back to the Fulmers whenever I wanted, within reason.’ She licked her lips. ‘I understand I would have duties to Elden as your wife.’
‘I don’t want you to give up your duties to the Fulmers. Your mother is an inspirational leader, you will be too. I don’t want you to give that up for me.’
Kesta took in a breath. ‘If we have a child, I won’t allow it to be forced into a political marriage against its will. Is that something you can promise me?’
He swallowed, lines creasing his forehead. He glanced at Azrael and then looked out of the window, Kesta noticed his hands were shaking. That was Bractius’s doing! Kesta had to restrain herself from leaping to her feet as anger rose in her. She wanted to snarl. Both Bractius and his father before him had ensured that Jorrun had been isolated all his life, dependent on them. They’d taken a powerful, but emotionally vulnerable boy, sent his brother away, and ensured they had his complete loyalty. She turned to Azrael and met the Drake’s fiery blue gaze. Thank the spirits Jorrun had him.
Jorrun cleared his throat. ‘I can promise to support you against Bractius when it comes to a child.’
She drew in a breath and looked deep in his eyes. His evasive answer would have left her furious before. She pressed her nails into her palms. They could do this. Even so, she was afraid to let her hope rise in case it was shattered. ‘We could take a risk, just see what happens?’
