“Why . . . why’d you stop?” she pants.
“You’re better than some glorified chair on the back deck. Let’s go inside.”
Reluctantly, I lift myself from her and instantly miss the contact. Standing, I take her hand in mine and tug her to stand. We walk quickly into the house and down the hall to my bedroom. When we step into the room, she wastes no time pulling off her shirt and tossing it on the floor. The room is dark, the blinds only letting in a sliver of moonlight.
Stepping into her personal space, I wrap an arm around her and bend my knees, making us eye level. Pushing her hair out of her face, I cup her cheek. I don’t need light to know how she looks. Lustful. Full of want and need. Mine.
“Are you sure about this?” I ask, my lips brushing hers as I speak.
“Yes.” Her voice is a whisper as she tugs at the hem of my shirt, lifting it over my head.
Leaning forward, her lips grazing my chest as her tongue darts out, tasting my skin as I had hers. Moving her mouth, she slowly teases my nipple, pulling it in her mouth. Visions of her doing the same thing to my dick has me aching more than I thought possible.
With a growl, I lift her and shift to the bed, tossing her so she bounces as she lands, giggles pouring from her. It’s the greatest sound in the world and having her on my bed, hair fanned out behind her, I have to push away the overwhelming feelings I want to profess. I watch as she shimmies out of her shorts and quickly follow suit. Turning onto her side, she pats the bed like she did earlier, and I smile as I lie down next to her.
Her hands run across my abs, and her moans make me laugh quietly. She tries to pinch the skin under her fingers but she comes up short. I may be filling my days with work and time with Ally, but I still hit the weights a few times a week.
“I’ve wanted to feel what was under your shirt since I first saw you working on that car.”
“And?” My hand slips across her hip and grabs a handful of her ass, pulling her toward me.
“Reality is so much better than anything I could have imagined.”
“I know what you mean,” I say, placing my lips to the swell of her breasts, my hand releasing her plump and perfect ass cheek to tug at the cup of her bra. She’s perfect in my hand, her nipple peaked and inviting. Reaching behind her back, her body lifts from the mattress, pushing her flesh against my lips. The tip of my tongue touches her skin as she unclasps her bra and pulls it from her body. Her head falls back as she settles below me, a soft hum coming from her as I continue tease her with my tongue.
“Drew, I . . . I want see you.”
“Next time, babe.”
Ally moans as I continue to worship her. The thought of next time has me hard as a rock as we lose ourselves in each other. Hands roaming, tongues tasting. The soft sounds of our moans fill the room as I slide my hand down her middle, pulling her panties aside. When I slide my finger between her slick lips, she says my name like a prayer, and I hope I can hold back my release long enough to satisfy her.
She rotates her hips as I add another finger, curving to find the spot I know will set her off. Breathing labored, her moans turn to words, confirming she’s chasing her orgasm. Capturing her mouth with mine, I swallow her cries as her body stiffens and her grip on my bicep tightens, nails biting into my skin. She rides out the wave and slowly relaxes onto her back, hands releasing and slowly moving from my body.
Quickly, I pull a condom from the drawer next to the bed. I still can’t believe Gary put these in here, but I’m grateful for his foresight. Ally lies with her arm over her eyes as she catches her breath while I sheath my epically hard dick. Moving between her legs, I take her nipples between my fingers and tug lightly, an action that has her opening her eyes wide. Lowering my head, I lap at each, soothing her as she shifts below me.
“I could feast right here for a year, and it’d never be enough.”
Her hands tug my hair, pulling my body flush with hers. She devours my mouth like I’m her last meal. Knowing she’s this turned on is the only invitation I need before breaking the kiss and tugging the waistband of her panties, pulling until her legs are free. Tossing them over my shoulder to join the rest of our clothes, I slowly run my finger along her slit.
With arms on either side of her head, I mutter, “fuck,” as she grips my cock, guiding my tip to her entrance. Slowly, I slip inside.
Closing my eyes, I take a mental picture of this moment, never wanting to forget the memory of our first time. Physical connection is one thing, but with Ally it’s so much more. Feelings I convinced myself I could never have with someone overwhelm me. The need to be honest, to share my deepest fears with her, and to protect her above all else swirl inside me.
With my forearms on either side of her head, I lean down and kiss her. Slowly at first, I slip my tongue in her mouth and start to move my hips. She rotates her own and we move in tandem. As one.
“Drew . . . oh God.”
Her words fuel me and I pick up the pace, my balls heavy and my release imminent. It’s been so long, I know I won’t last. Pulling her knees up to change our position, I watch as her face expresses every emotion. I reach between us, finding her clit with my thumb. Her movements increase as she arches her back, moaning my name as her second orgasm takes over. I increase my speed, a low guttural sound coming from deep inside me when I reach my own release.
Nestled in the crook of my arm, Ally runs her finger across the palm of my hand. She’s quiet and I worry she has regrets. I know I should have a few of my own, but I can’t find it in me to feel a single one. Being with her is more than I could have ever imagined. I’ve been with a few girls in the past but nothing compared to this. I never believed in soul mates or any other bullshit definition of true love, but the way I feel now with her in my arms, I can see the romance of it all.
“You aren’t freaking out are you?” she asks, breaking the silence.
“No. Are you?”
“Nope. I feel marvelous. I mean, I may have trouble walking home but other than that, I feel great.”
Stilling, I turn to look at her. “Did I hurt you? I’m sorry, I was trying—”
“You didn’t hurt me. It’s just been awhile is all. I promise, I’m fine.”
“It’s been awhile for me too,” I confess.
Yawning, she turns on her side, snuggling her ass up against me. I slip an arm around her, settling in behind her. Big spoon to her small one. With my arm wrapped around her waist, I burrow my chin into her shoulder, tugging her skin between my teeth. She jabs me in the stomach.
“I’m going to take a little nap before I go home.”
In seconds her declaration is replaced with the soft sounds of her sleeping. It doesn’t take long before I’m joining her. Dreams of us like this, curled up together in post-coital bliss are all I have in one of the best night’s sleep of my life.
Chapter 25
Ally
Slowly I blink my gritty eyes open. The morning sun is filling the room. Shit, I slept longer than I planned. I stop myself from jerking out of Drew’s embrace, allowing a few more minutes of this bliss, wrapped in his arms. Last night was unexpected and amazing. I’ve never had such a connection with someone. A visceral need to touch and be touched by another person. Just thinking of how his mouth felt on my body sends a shot of desire straight to my core.
Tapping down the horniness, I slowly lift his arm and slip out of bed. Naked as the day I was born, I quietly go about finding my clothes. My panties are not wearable so I tug my shorts on commando and slip the cotton scrap in my pocket. Drew shifts on the bed just as I find my bra on the bed. Snatching it up, I slip it on as he rolls to his side, the sheet sliding down his body, low on his hip. I watch as a small smile appears on his lips and I wonder if he’s thinking of last night. Of us. My own grin matches his as I watch him cuddle up to a pillow.
Then I see it.
The large tattoo on his side. A tree with so much detail on the trunk, it feels like you could reach out and feel each det
ailed grooves of the bark. I didn’t see his body last night, the room too dark. Now, in the light of a new day, my mouth dries and my stomach drops. I know that tattoo. I’ve seen it.
“What the fuck, Drew?” I shout as I bend down and pick up a rogue shoe from the ground and toss it at the naked man before me.
Rage and hurt consume me. A regular battle royal in my heart, two completely different emotions brewing like a hurricane. I’m not a violent person but I want to climb on this bed and punch him repeatedly. I’m such a fool. How could I be so dumb?
“Whoa, babe. What’s wro—Ally, are you okay?” He sits up, the sheet falling to his waist exposing his perfect body to me. The ink on his bicep in full display, bright colors prominent and distracting as he runs his hand through his hair. He looks to his right and sees the shoe I threw.
Angrily, I start looking for my shirt, almost willing to face the town gossip and walking home in just my bra, taking the walk of shame to a new level. On my hands and knees, I see a pair of feet before me as I locate my shirt under his shorts. Standing, I ignore his morning wood as I pull my shirt on over my head and push him out of the way.
“Ally, what’s wrong? Where are you going?”
“What’s wrong?” I shrill. Is he fucking kidding me? The look on his face as he stands before me slipping his shorts on tells me he either has no idea or he’s a brilliant actor. Hell, he fooled me all this time so I’m going with the latter.
“Tell me, did you have a good laugh at my expense? Did you do all this just to sleep with me? Newsflash asshole, you didn’t have to!”
“Honey, I have no idea what you’re talking about. Ally, please tell me what I did.”
Glaring down where he has his hand wrapped around my arm, I look up at him and my heart drops. He looks utterly confused and like I’m breaking his heart. Yeah well, welcome to the club.
“Drew,” I snarl. “Or, is it Andy? Maybe D?” As I grit out the last words, his hand drops along with his jaw. Paling, he opens his mouth to speak but then closes it again.
“Let me explain. I wanted to tell you last night but you wouldn’t—”
“Oh no you don’t. Do not put this on me. You lied to me.” My voice cracks and I pause, digging deep to find my dignity. “How could you do this to me? I trusted you. Both versions of you.”
Turning on my heel, I don’t wait for him to respond and run from the house, the screen door slamming behind me. I make it to the end of the driveway before the first tear falls. I refuse to accept these are tears of heartbreak and not those of rage and anger. The latter is easier to acknowledge and deal with, but the reality is my heart hurts. Physical pain radiates through my chest. It may be how fast I’m walking, a cross between speed walking and a trot. It’s probably more of a trot than anything if I’m being honest.
Slowing to catch my breath, I hear the tell-tale signs of a vehicle approaching from behind, gravel flying as it slows. I pick up my speed but keep it to a brisk walk. Refusing to let him see me cry, I don’t acknowledge Drew as he speaks.
“Ally, please. Let me explain. I promise it’s not what you think. I wanted to tell you from the first message but I was stupid.”
I stop at his words. Since the first message? He knew the entire time who I was.
Turning to face him, he puts the truck in park and opens the door, taking a tentative step toward me. He reaches his hand out to touch me but pulls back. Good thinking, asshole.
“You knew the entire time who I was? All those messages, the what ifs? When I saw you at the garage, you knew then too. Ohmygod. I’m so stupid. You heard me on the phone with Didi, didn’t you? Talking about you, him. Ugh.”
Needing space, I start walking, but he follows beside me. His legs are longer than mine so while I’m practically running again, he’s walking much slower. That fact annoys me, and I glare at him.
“Please leave me alone. I can’t be around you right now.”
He slows to a stop and does as I ask. I don’t look back because I’m afraid if I see him feeling even a fraction of the loss I do, I’ll turn back. I can’t. I need space.
Granny has been lingering outside my door, asking me if I want food or booze for the last twelve hours. What I want is to go back in time and never watch that damn reality show and start stalking the internet. A do-over. Time travel is a thing, right? Mind erasing? I could try hypnosis. That might do the trick. People use it to stop smoking and eating junk food, I could use it for forgetting Drew and his amazing sex powers.
My pillow has finally dried from the gallon of tears I cried when I got home from his house. After I was thoroughly exhausted from the emotional breakdown, I took a nap. A restless few hours of sleep but it helped a little. Then I realized I could still smell him on my skin so I took the longest and hottest shower on the planet. Tossing a shower steamer in the corner, I let the scent of lavender and mint fill the room as I washed away any sign of Drew Collins.
Then I stood before the mirror and saw the little love bite he left on the spot between my shoulder and neck and the tears returned. I feel foolish for being more hurt than I am angry. I should be pissed off. He lied to me. He went out of his way to deceive me for weeks and then he sexed me up. Like the best sex of my life kind of sexing, which sucks because now I have to find someone to erase that memory. Again, hypnosis sounds perfect.
Running my hand along Myson’s back, I think about calling my parents and asking them to come home early so I can leave town and never come back. Well, as long as Drew lives here. But, I can’t do that. I need to be an adult and deal with this like a big girl. I’ll just stay inside the house unless I’m taking Granny somewhere. That’s a solid plan. Hermit life is the best life from what I hear.
My stomach grumbles, and I have to get up and eat something. Powering up my phone, I check the time and see I have a text from Didi, three from Drew, a voicemail, and new e-mails. Because I’m a chicken, I open the e-mails first. Ads, sales, newsletters, and one from my pen pal. My stomach drops when I see his subject “I’m sorry”. Sometimes sorry isn’t enough. Closing out the e-mail, I tap the text messages. Didi wants to catch up and misses me. Meanwhile, Drew is feigning worry.
Drew: Ally please talk to me. I am so sorry. I never meant to hurt you.
Drew: I’m worried about you. Please tell me you’re okay.
The last text came in just about twenty minutes ago.
Drew: Babe, please. If I don’t hear from you in fifteen minutes I’m coming over to make sure you’re okay. I’m worried.
Just as I read the last line, I hear the mumbling of voices in the distance. One is male and the other Granny. Drew. The tears start again. I want to hear what he has to say, what excuse he can muster up, but I’m afraid I’ll fall for it. Forgive him easily. I want to wallow in this anger and hurt. I need to or I’ll have to face emotions I’m trying really hard not to have.
There’s a knock at my door. When I don’t answer Granny says, “Honey, Drew is here.”
“I don’t want to see him. Please ask him to leave.”
“But—”
“Granny, please,” I beg.
Silence from the other side tells me she did as I asked. Just a minute later she knocks again but this time doesn’t wait for me to open the door. Instead, she pokes her head in the room, a small smile on her lips. When she sees me, her expression drops, and she walks in slowly, the cane she’s using keeping her steps cautious.
“Honey, what happened?” she asks, sitting down on my bed. Leaning over, she moves the hair out of my face like Drew did last night and I start crying again. How can one person cry this much? It’s inhuman.
Like she’s a priest at Sunday confession, I unload everything that’s happened in the last few weeks. Of course, I keep out just how much I wallowed on my birthday and the amazing sex from last night. She’s knows I didn’t come home last night and thankfully doesn’t push the limits of our closeness. There are just some things I can’t share with her no matter how much of a bond we shar
e.
Sympathetic eyes look back at me as I finish the story on a hiccup. She pats my leg and then throws me for a loop when she asks, “Do you love him?”
“What? No. That’s impossible.”
“Is it? You have a history with Drew. Sure it was from years ago but it’s still there. That hasn’t changed. The man you met online, while deceitful, was still him. You said it yourself, you’ve learned more about him in those messages than most people who date years know. It isn’t lost on me how you’re less angry than you are hurt, honey. That means something. This is about your heart not your head. What does your heart say?”
My heart is an asshole because it agrees with her.
“How do I move past the lies? He knew the entire time and never said anything.”
“And what would you have done if he had? Ended up here? Angry and hurt? He was scared, Ally. That boy that came to the door today? He was devastated. Like his entire world blew up. I know love, honey, and that boy loves you. Not in a friendship kind of way but in a forever kind of way. You just have to decide if you feel the same.”
She pats my leg and stands from the bed. Myson hops down and follows her out. I lie there for a few minutes before I pull up the text messages.
Me: I just need some time.
Then I power off my phone and head to the kitchen for some food.
Chapter 26
Drew
It’s been five days since Ally found out what a piece of shit I am. Seeing her cry and knowing I was responsible was like a knife to the gut. As she walked away from me, her shoulders shaking with sobs I wanted the ground to open and suck me further into Hell. Instead, I climbed back in the truck and came home to an empty house. To a disheveled bed that smelled like our love making and her shampoo.
It Was Always You Page 13
