“Well, I could see that. If it was a wine fridge,” Anne-Marie replied.
They both started cackling.
Boone, who had his arm around my shoulders and was holding me tucked with my front against his side (and that would be tucked close), tensed his arm to give me an affectionate squeeze.
I put my head on his shoulder and gave him one back with my arms that were around his waist.
Neither of us shared that fridge was not bought by me.
“Annie! New plan!” Porter shouted from somewhere deep in the house. “We’re not going to Savannah on vacation next month. We’re comin’ to Denver. Ryn needs an extra pair of hands.”
“Told you,” Boone muttered.
“Porter Sadler, we have our flights and all the tours booked!” Anne-Marie shouted back.
“Like I wanna look at a bunch of old houses!” he yelled.
“Well, I do!” she yelled back.
“The curse of an enlightened man!” he bellowed.
“Jesus,” Boone said under his breath.
I started silently laughing.
“He’s crazy. I’d love to go to Savannah,” Mom said.
“Well, it looks like I’m gonna have an extra ticket,” Anne-Marie replied.
They started cackling again.
Boone took us on the move, skirting them wide, to get me out the back door.
He then guided me to the middle of the backyard.
And there, he turned me to him and rested his forearms on my shoulders but dipped his face super close to mine.
“So this control issue you got, that extend to you holding your breath until you pass out so shit that’s fucking you up will stop coming at you?”
Here we go.
“Maybe,” I said.
“Baby, you were out. If I didn’t know you were holding your breath so I was primed to catch you, you could have hurt yourself.”
“That’s only happened once before,” I assured him.
“Let me guess, with your father.”
“Yeah.”
His mouth got tight.
Yeah.
There we went.
I dropped my forehead to his chest, and when I did, he wrapped his arms around my shoulders.
I wrapped mine around his middle.
“For my peace of mind, Rynnie, you gotta be mindful and stop doin’ that,” he murmured over my head.
“Your mom and dad know my brother has an alcohol problem.”
“Yeah.”
“And my mom met you, and them, going to the hospital to check on her son who was cuffed to a hospital bed.”
“And?”
I tipped my head back and caught his eyes.
“Boone, put yourself in my shoes.”
“Your mother would no sooner think badly of me because one of my brothers had an issue that was beyond my control than she’d poke out her own eye.”
Good point.
And this was true.
He kept going.
“And what my parents saw today was a sister who loves her brother so much, regardless of his problems, she was messed right the fuck up at the thought of him being hurt and in trouble. Messed up so bad, she could barely talk.”
Hmm.
“And they saw she had a mother who had it together and dropped everything to get to her boy.”
Well, that was a better way to look at it.
“And your mom saw you had a man and his family who are going to have your back.”
Another better way.
“In other words,” he kept at it, “would I rather those two met to giggle about expensive fridges and shit while my mom and dad shouted the house down? Maybe. But the way they met didn’t suck either.”
“Mr. Brightside,” I whispered, pressing into him.
“Rynnie, you can’t control the world. You can’t make everything okay for your niece and nephew because they got shit parents. They have shit parents, but they’re the parents they got and there’s nothin’ you can do about that. You can’t adjust the course of life to fit how you need it to be so everything will be just perfect for those you care about. Like you can’t hold your breath and make your brother stop talking so you won’t have to hear his ugly, and your man and your mom won’t hear it either. And babe,” he got closer, “heads up. You can’t make Hattie let Axl in and you can’t give Axl the tools to get in. That’s gotta happen how it happens, or not, if that’s the way it’s gonna be.”
We’d see about that last one.
“Jesus, Ryn, are you listening to me?” he asked.
He totally knew I was going to meddle with Hattie and Axl.
Still, this was serious, so I said, “Yes, Boone, and I hear you and you’re right.” Except about Hattie and Axl, but I wasn’t going to share that at that juncture, and not only because he already knew it. “And I’ll be mindful. And I’ll…I don’t know.”
“Find a way to let go.”
I grinned up at him. “Maybe I need more sex.”
He started chuckling and promised, “That’s something I can help with. And I’ll be sure to get right on that.”
I pressed closer, still grinning up at him.
Then I got serious.
“But truth, I’ll work on it. I promise. Okay?”
“More than okay. And I’m here. And I’ll help.”
I fit myself snug to him.
He bent and touched his mouth to mine before he lifted away and finished our discussion with “Okay.”
“We should probably get in there before your dad finds Hound’s tool belt. I’ve noticed Hound doesn’t like anyone touching his tool belt.”
Boone started chuckling again, but he turned me toward the house.
I couldn’t say I was super mindful right then, except to Boone, what with how sweet he was being, but I didn’t miss all three of our parents jerking away from the back window the minute we turned.
“They’re all certifiable,” Boone muttered.
He didn’t miss it either.
“They’re cute.”
“Yeah, you didn’t tell your mom not to mention your girlfriend’s job until your girlfriend mentioned it only to have your mom mention it practically before your girlfriend got her ass in her chair at their first dinner together.”
He sounded disgruntled.
That was also cute.
“She was right to put my mind at ease.”
“What’s right is what my dad said. She’s a steamroller.”
“It’s good you found yourself a biddable girlfriend, then.”
“I’ve noticed that pretty much is only the case when we’re in bed,” he noted.
“Is that bad?”
He bent his face close to mine even as he kept us walking.
“Not even a little bit,” he growled.
I gave him a scrunched nose.
He kissed it.
Then, before we slammed into the house, he started paying attention to where he was leading us.
All of our parents were faking absorption in the quality of my kitchen cabinets.
Not certifiable.
But totally dorky.
And you know what?
I loved it.
* * *
That evening, Mom and I were in Boone’s kitchen, making lasagna.
Boone and his folks were in Boone’s living room area, chatting but mostly giving us space even if we were all still in the same space.
Mom was handling noodles, chopped hard-boiled egg and mozzarella cheese.
I was handling meat sauce and cottage cheese.
We were tucked as close as we could get and still do our work.
“I really like his house,” she said under her breath.
“Yeah,” I agreed.
“And his parents are great,” she went on.
“Yeah,” I agreed.
“And I really like him.”
“Yeah,” I said, deeper and with not a small amount of feeling.
“Ryn, it happened how it happ
ened, and it’s done. You need to move past it.”
Boy, my mom knew me.
“I know. Boone kinda got me to that place.”
“So what’s in my girl’s head right now?”
I looked to her.
“The way Boone spoke to Brian. If he gets better, or doesn’t, but we find some way to carry on from here, Boone’s my guy and he’s going to be my guy, Mom. I feel it. He’s not going anywhere. Ever. And Brian’s my brother. I don’t know if they can get past all those words. We should have stopped them.”
“You know, I was a mother torn.”
Oh man.
“Mom,” I whispered.
“The blow of what’s going on with your brother battling the glow of seeing that man stand up for you like he did.”
Oh shit.
I felt my eyes start stinging.
“My girl has not ever had that from a man. Not once. In her whole life. And I know,” she circled a hand with a limp noodle in it, “women don’t need men and blah, blah, blah. That’s not what I’m talking about. You didn’t have a father who looked after you. You looked after your brother, and to this day, it hurts me I had to lean on you for that. So, Ryn, I don’t care if he’s a man, a woman, a Martian, I was just beside myself that you had someone to catch you when you fell, literally, then go on to fight for you.”
“I had you,” I reminded her.
“Baby, you know what I mean,” she said gently.
I nodded.
I knew what she meant.
“Now, two things with that and Brian,” she continued. “One, the way he was speaking to you, Ryn, was not okay. Not okay generally but not okay with the sister you’ve been to him. And someone needed to make that very clear to him.”
Well, I couldn’t argue that.
And you could definitely say Boone made things very clear.
“And two, your brother needs some home truths. You’ve given him a few. I’ve given him a few. Angelica has given him a few. That accident and his current predicament are another few. And Boone gave him a few today too. And I thought it was important that Brian learned from who he considers an outsider how his behavior is affecting the people who love him, and I thought it was good that came direct, and even angry.”
Hmm.
I could argue that.
“The path to his healing is not going to come through us. Whatever brings it on is going to be a personal realization,” she carried on. “And that will come from understanding in every nuance that he’s harming himself and he’s harming the people he loves. And I know my boy. When he finds the will to fight this, he is not going to be angry at Boone for pointing that out. He’s going to be happy you have a man who will stand up for you.”
I wasn’t so sure about that.
“Ryn, if he isn’t, that’ll mean he has more work to do,” Mom decreed.
“Right,” I said uncertainly.
“Right,” she said decisively.
“I think we need to back down now from the in-your-face stuff,” I told her.
She nodded. “I agree. But we’re not bailing him out, Ryn. He faces the consequences. We can support him however he lets us do that, but not that way. Last night could have been much worse. We’ve inadvertently enabled him for a long time. That stops now.”
It was my turn to nod.
She let out a big breath.
After doing that, she muttered, “Let’s get on finishing this lasagna to feed your man and his folks, because I need to get on making my Caesar salad dressing.”
Bonus to Mom being in the mix, she was making her Caesar salad. From scratch. Something she hadn’t taught me. And something that was brilliant.
We finished up and I was tidying up while Mom called Boone to assist in locating all the gear she needed to make her dressing.
Boone gave me a soft-eyed look and gentle grin as he strode his long-legged stride to help out my mom.
I gave him one back.
My eyes then strayed to the couch and I saw Anne-Marie was doing something on her phone.
But Porter had his gaze on me.
When he caught mine, he smiled his own gentle grin.
My heart squeezed and it wasn’t unpleasantly.
I gave him one back.
Chapter Twenty-One
My Eternity
Ryn
Okay, so paint. Then flooring. Then kitchen. And we’ll go out this weekend and make definite decisions about lighting and order that bathroom stuff. And just sayin’, I still think your mom is right about the lighting.”
“Dad’s right about the lighting.”
“I think we should go chrome.”
“Polished nickel.”
It was Tuesday morning.
Boone’s parents were gone.
My brother was out of jail pending a court hearing where, according to the attorney he’d hired (news Mom gave me, Brian hadn’t contacted me), the amount of damage done to the other car and his blood alcohol level were going to mean he’d probably serve time. Not much. A few days. Maybe a few weeks. But also maybe enough to give him (another) wakeup call.
Sunday Boone and his parents and I had brunch with my mom (she tried to demur, saying the Sadlers needed time with Boone and me without her butting in, but Anne-Marie would hear none of it). Then off we all went as per Porter’s demand to look at fittings and fixtures for the house.
Mag and Evie, Axl, Auggie, Lottie and Mo met us for dinner and Mom officially got to meet Boone’s friends.
She seemed really happy about it. Happy about the day. Happy about the dinner. Happy about how awesome my friends were. She and Anne-Marie got on like wildfire, so happy to have a new friend. And happy for me.
Her happy made me happy.
And we needed some of that.
Boone’s parents left Monday afternoon and Mom phoned Monday night to share that Angelica was Brian’s first call. And she went to the hospital for the sole purpose of sharing she was washing her hands of him.
So now was now, back to the grind, but with a plan.
I was beginning to get a bit antsy about the fact I still was not back onstage at Smithie’s, but I couldn’t say it sucked that I had time to focus on the house which meant chasing my dream for my future.
“We’ll have another look at them this weekend and decide at the store,” Boone decreed about the lighting.
“Okay,” I agreed.
“Who called?” he asked.
I looked from my notebook, where I was keeping track of all things house, to Boone. “Who called? When?”
“About Brian.”
He hadn’t brought it up since our conversation in my backyard. Mom and I talked about it, but Boone had been letting it be. Probably in order not to upset me. Or not get pissed himself.
I would find in short order it was the latter.
At the time, though, I didn’t know that, so I looked back to the notebook and spoke.
“Angelica. When she called me, she shared she was done with him. She also shared I could tell him that and tell him he couldn’t see his kids unless he cleaned up. And she put a line under our relationship, saying being done with Brian meant being done with me, so she shared her truth about how her life was in the toilet after all Brian had done to her, having kids so early, she can’t go out to clubs and whatever, and she did what she did because she just needed some time to be normal.”
I was talking and making notes about where first to tackle paint (kitchen) when I realized Boone didn’t reply.
It was then, woefully belatedly, I felt the mood of the room.
Boone’s mood.
I looked to him.
Oh man.
At the granite set of his face, I straightened from the counter I was leaning over, but before I could say anything, he asked, “So she’s done with you, but you’re still her mouthpiece to your brother?”
“Boone—”
“Are you fucking shitting me?” he roared.
Whoa.
That was extreme
.
“Was she there?” he bit out.
“Sorry?” I asked, still recovering from his explosion.
“Was she at the hospital?”
“She went to tell him she was done with him,” I shared.
“And then she called you. Washed her hands of a man she was all in to fuck, make babies with, take his house when she kicked him out, his money after she kicked him out, and the going gets really rough, she’s done with the father of her goddamned children, phones you and you gotta phone your mother, deal with your brother, and she goes home to eat chips in front of the TV.”
Sadly, with Angelica, that was probably the gist of it.
“Boone, it’s—”
“What it is, is fucked up, Ryn.” He lifted his hand and jabbed a finger at me. “And you are done eating that woman’s shit.”
I decided to give him a second to get a lock on it.
Boone didn’t feel like taking that second.
“That bitch needs to clue the fuck in. But I know one thing she’s gonna clue in to is that you aren’t her fucking doormat.”
“Okay, treading cautiously here, but I’m not sure I’m getting why Angelica being Angelica has tripped your trigger.”
“Because we all got no choice but to grow up, Ryn. Yeah, I’d like to spend my days playing basketball and videogames and drinking brewskis with my homeboys.”
I was suddenly struggling not to laugh at Boone saying “brewskis with my homeboys.”
“But I can’t do that,” he kept going. “I got a mortgage to pay and a future to plan for and responsibilities to see to. She can’t pop out two kids and bitch and moan she can’t be a club girl and expect everyone to step up for her. Especially not fuckin’ you. You’ve stepped up enough. And you are goddamned done getting shit on.”
And there it was.
The part he didn’t mention was that he was there to save the day, and if Angelica kept fucking with me, it would mean continual hits to his hero street cred.
I again fell silent to give him time to get a lock on it.
When this time he appeared to be taking it, to help him out, I said, “I love how you look out for me.”
“Get that, Ryn,” he stated tersely. “I love that you love it but that’s part of who I am to you. That’s part of what I give to you. And it’s your life, your family, you gotta make the decisions, but I’m steppin’ in if they start shitting on you, like this latest Angelica has pulled, and we’ll be having a discussion, like we’re having right now.”
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