by Amare, Mercy
“Do you think things would’ve turned out different if you knew about me?” I ask.
“I am not sure how things would’ve worked out for your mom and me, but I do know that I would’ve been there for you.”
“I still can’t believe that I’m here with you,” I tell him. “It feels surreal sometimes, but I’m glad that I am here. I have a family, which is something I didn’t think I had outside of Mom.”
“I’m glad you’re here.”
“Am I what you expected?”
“I honestly don’t know what I expected,” he answers. “When I got that email from your mother, I thought it was a joke. Then I looked at the pictures she sent of you. I didn’t reply that day, because I was scared. I came home, and talked to Veronica. She encouraged me to call your mother, and two days later I met you.”
I can’t help but smile at the memory of our first meeting.
The day I met my dad, I had no clue that I was meeting him. My mom had sent me to the store to pick up some milk, and when I came back there was a limo outside of our house. I had never seen one up close before, so I actually took my phone out and took a picture of it. I had no idea that the limo was actually there for me. When I walked inside, there was this strange guy sitting on the couch, and my mom told me it was my dad. I actually dropped the gallon of milk because I was so shocked. And then Dad introduced himself as Mark Evers, and I replied “The Mark Evers?” He laughed and the rest is history.
“I am really glad that you came,” I tell him.
“Me too.”
Sunday, December 12
9:51 AM
Magical night.
Today is the start of day two without getting some kind of note from my stalker, which is pretty much a record, so I am anxious. I woke up expecting to get a note today, but I think that maybe I’m just paranoid. Anybody in my situation would be, right?
It’s Sunday, which means it’s family brunch day. I am excited to see Gabe, and hear how Toby’s date went. He didn’t get home until really late, and he came home alone, which is a first. I check my Staying Connected while I head down the stairs and see Victoria’s post.
Victoria Spencer: I had a very magical night. <3
Toby commented on her post.
Toby Anderson: I told you I would make all your wishes come true ;)
I laugh at that — it’s a classic Toby line.
I am so busy looking at my phone that I miss the last step and nearly fall. Toby grabs my arm to keep me from falling.
“You know it’s dangerous to text and walk,” he says.
“I was just reading about your magical night with Victoria,” I tell him.
“It was a good night. I think I actually like her.”
“Aw,” I say. “Toby is in love!”
“Whoa,” he says, holding up his hand. “I never said love. I said I like her. Just because you fell in love with Gabe at first sight doesn’t mean that everybody falls in love at first sight. Besides, Toby Anderson doesn’t fall in love.”
“I don’t think it was love at first sight with Gabe and me. In fact, I was busy drooling over Ty Newman for the first three months after I moved here,” I remind him. “You will fall in love someday, and when you do, hopefully you will stop referring to yourself in the third-person. It’s weird.”
“I think you’re just jealous, because I’m your stepbrother and you can’t have me,” he says.
I roll my eyes. “Oh yes, that’s what every girl wants — to make her stepbrother fall in love with her.”
“You finally admit it! You want me.”
“In your dreams, Toby.” I walk to the garage, and Toby follows behind me laughing. Maybe our conversations are a little… crazy, but that’s just us. I like our relationship. He’s the big brother that I never had, and I love that I can talk to him about anything.
“You know, I have had dreams about you,” he tells me.
“I’ve had nightmares about you.”
“I have nightmares about you too,” Toby says, but this time he isn’t joking. He’s very serious. “The other night I had a dream that your stalker killed you right in front of me. I just… I don’t know what I would do if something happened to you. What if I can’t protect you?”
“You can’t feel bad if you don’t protect me. Just know that whatever happens, it’s not your fault.”
“I feel like I should do more,” he says. “Sometimes I think I should tell Mark.”
“Sometimes I think I should too, but then I think about everything that has already happened. I don’t think I could handle it if I lost both of my parents. I want to keep Dad in the dark so I can keep him safe. I’ve already told too many people. I can’t bear the thought of you, Gabe, or Ty dying because of me. This is my problem. I never should have dragged you guys into it.”
“We want to help you, Kihanna. Don’t ever think coming to us was a mistake, because it wasn’t. It’s my job as your brother to protect you, and it’s Gabe’s job because he’s your boyfriend…” He pauses. “I’m really not sure where Ty fits into this, but he used to be your boyfriend and is still in love with you for some weird reason… So, yeah…”
“I really didn’t mean for Ty to find out,” I tell him.
“Right. Either way, we just want to protect you. We want to figure out who this motherfucker is, and when we figure it out we will kill them, simple as that,” he says.
“That’s not fair, though. It’s my battle.”
“Kihanna, you killed somebody to protect me. It’s my time to return the favor.” With that, Toby starts his car and we leave for the country club.
Toby is right. As much as I hate to admit it, I do need protecting. I couldn’t do this alone, and I am thankful that I have them.
On the way to brunch, I get a text from Ariana.
Ariana Morgan: Courtney is bipolar. She is being put into a mental institution for a few weeks, but should be back at school after Christmas break. They want to keep her long enough to balance out her meds. She’s going to be fine.
Me: Where is she staying? Can I visit her?
Ariana Morgan: She is not allowed to have visitors, but she promises to send lots of emails.
Me: Okay. Thanks for letting me know. :( Poor Courtney!
I put away my phone. “Courtney is bipolar,” I tell Toby.
“I always thought she had ADD. That girl has so much energy.”
“That’s actually part of being bipolar — extreme highs and lows. I guess it’s hard to diagnose. I don’t really know a lot about it, but I think it’s a chemical imbalance within your body,” I tell him. “Medicine can help control it. As soon as they find the right dosage to balance it out, she should be fine.”
“That’s good. Courtney is a good person.”
I nod. “I guess I’m just sort of disappointed. For a while I thought Courtney was my stalker. I thought the erratic moods where a clue, but it’s not. Courtney is not my stalker, and I am back to square one. I have no clue.”
“First you thought it was Jacqueline Hoff, right?” he asks.
“Yes,” I answer. “But that was before the person broke into our house. Jacqueline isn’t crazy enough to hire a hit man.”
“But you thought Courtney was crazy enough to hire a hit man?”
“Sort of. I mean, I don’t think Courtney would actually do it, no, but I thought maybe she was on drugs. We all did.”
“Wow. The three of you jumped to a really bad conclusion about your friend,” Toby says.
He’s right. I am a terrible friend. “I know, but I was so desperate.”
“We will figure it out,” Toby says, putting his hand on my shoulder. “I promise.”
I let Toby’s words comfort me.
Together we will figure it out. It just sucks waiting. I want to know now.
12:51 PM
Awkward mom talks.
After brunch, I go shopping with Veronica and Libby for our upcoming trip to Hawaii. I’m not sure how I feel about spend
ing the day with Gabe’s mother, but she likes me so I guess it won’t be too bad. Veronica on the other hand… well, I don’t think anything could rein her in. She’s like a kid in a candy store.
Veronica holds a teal bikini against me. “You would look so good in this.”
There isn’t much to the bikini, and I would be embarrassed to wear it. “Shouldn’t you be encouraging me to be modest?”
Libby laughs at my comment. “Kihanna, you’re only young once. Trust me, you should wear that bikini while you still can.”
Veronica nods her head in agreement. “We’re getting this.”
“Fine.” Because my opinion doesn’t matter anyway.
A few seconds later my phone goes off with a text message.
Gabe: I just heard something about a really skimpy bikini… Can’t wait to see you in it.
Okay, so maybe the bikini won’t be so bad.
Me: I personally can’t wait for you to take it off me. How much longer until we can have sex?
Gabe: I like your idea. Can you come over?
Me: Ha. You wish.
I put away my phone, and watch Veronica pick out more bikinis for me. I pick out a white and pink polka dot bikini, and Veronica picks up about twelve more bikinis. She says I need one for each day, which is just ridiculous. How much luggage am I going to be bringing on this trip? If she was just going to pick out all my clothes, then why was I even invited on this shopping trip?
After picking out bikinis, we get sundresses, because that is what you wear in Hawaii — according to Veronica anyway. Again, she picked out one for each day… Well, Libby helped pick out a few. They were all cute, so I guess I didn’t mind so much. I just hate trying on clothes. It’s the worst.
Just as we move onto dinner dresses, Libby starts talking to me about my relationship with Gabe.
Oh joy.
“So, things are good with you and Gabriel now, right?” she asks.
I continue looking through the dresses, and don’t dare look her in the eyes. The last thing I want to do is encourage her. “Yeah, we are doing very good.”
“Do you like him?”
“I love him.” I look up to see her smiling.
“Good,” she says. “Do you want to marry him?”
Her question catches me off guard. “I’m seventeen. I haven’t really thought about marriage yet.”
She laughs. “I was seventeen once, you know. I know that teenage girls think about marriage. Everybody wants a story book romance.”
“I actually want to finish college first,” I tell her. “I was raised by a single mom, so I’d really like to find a way to support myself if anything were to happen.”
“You’re Mark Evers’s daughter. You will never have you want for money as long as you live,” she says. “And neither will Gabriel. If something were to happen you wouldn’t be left high and dry.”
“I know, but college is something that I want to do — even if it is just for the experience.”
“Well, college aside, do you think you will marry Gabe?”
Wow. She really doesn’t give up. “I guess you will just have to wait and see.”
“Jack and I got married right out of high school,” she says. “He still managed to go to college and work his way up from filing clerk to CEO.”
“That’s very impressive,” I tell her. “But I’d rather not have the added stress of a new marriage while I’m in college. Besides, I always thought I would wait until I was at least twenty-two before getting married. I will change a lot between now and then, and what I want now I probably won’t want then. I don’t want to rush into a marriage I’m not ready for. If Gabriel and I are meant to be then it will happen.”
Veronica walks over to Libby and me. Her arms are full of dresses. “You ready to try these on?”
“Yes, I am.” Anything to get me out of this awkward conversation with Libby.
As I try on the dresses Veronica picked out, I can’t help but wonder if Libby was really trying to talk me into marrying her son right out of high school. If so, she’s crazy. There is no way that I would marry Gabe that soon. I count the days in my head and realize that we haven’t even been dating a full month yet. I haven’t even been broke up from Ty for very long. That just… isn’t going to happen.
After trying on dresses for days… or hours, whatever… we finally leave the mall. I’m excited until Veronica says we are going home to pack now. Yay!
Once we get home, we head up to my room.
“So what’s up with Libby?” I ask Veronica as we start packing my stuff. I’m usually a procrastinator when it comes to packing. I like to do it the night before. Veronica is the opposite. She has a list, and nothing gets checked off until it is in the suitcase. I’m kind of glad she’s here, because I would probably forget something.
“What do you mean?” she asks.
“Well, she asked me if I was going to marry Gabe,” I tell her. “And she pretty much insisted that we should get married right out of high school.”
“She likes you,” Veronica says. “I think she’s scared Gabriel is going to screw up the relationship somehow, and let’s be honest, you’re probably the best person for her son.”
“Why is that? I’m not anything special.”
Veronica smiles at me. “You are special. And not just because you’re Mark Evers’s daughter. You weren’t raised with money. Most of the girls Gabe has dated before have all been… snobby. Plus, she sees how much he cares about you. That kind love is a rare find, especially so young.”
“Do you think Gabe really loves me?” I ask.
“It doesn’t matter what I think,” she says. “All that matters is what you think and you feel. Besides, if it really is true love, you will still be together after college. You can get married when you’re ready for it.”
“You’re right,” I tell Veronica. Wow, that’s something I never thought I would say to her. “If Gabriel and I are meant to be, then it will happen. If not, then I will be glad I didn’t marry him right out of high school.”
I go to grab my extra phone charger out of the drawer, and I see my pink digital camera. I begged my mom to buy it for me, and she finally bought it for me on my birthday. I grab the camera and stuff it in my suitcase. I want to document the trip. Who knows, maybe I will even put the footage on YouTube. My subscribers would probably be happy if I posted a video, and a Hawaii trip would be awesome.
“Do you want a new camera?” Veronica asks, as I put my cheap one into my bag.
“My mom bought me this one,” I tell her. “I love it, but it would be cool to have a better one. I really enjoy taking pictures and making videos. I haven’t done much of either since I moved here.”
“This trip is the perfect way to get started again,” she says, mirroring my own thoughts. “I’ll pick you up a new camera before we leave.”
“Thanks. I appreciate that.”
Veronica checks the last thing on her list, and then goes to help Toby pack his bags. As I zip up my last suitcase, I can’t help but get excited about the trip. We don’t leave until early Saturday morning, and I can’t wait.
Christmas in Hawaii will be amazing.
Monday, December 13
7:51 AM
Stalker free!
Today marks day three of not getting a note from my stalker. While I’m glad for the break, I still can’t get rid of the awful pit in my stomach that something bad is going to happen.
The second I walk into school, I am surrounded by people asking me about the accident and if I am okay.
“Geez, what’s up with everybody today?” Gabe asks, coming up beside me in the hallway. “I think every person in the school has asked me about my accident and it’s not even eight o’clock. It’s too early for this shit.”
I laugh. “They’re just concerned. They’ve all been asking me how I am doing too. It’s weird, because last time Toby and I were hospitalized it seemed like nobody knew.”
Gabe smiles at me. “That’
s because I told everybody that if they asked you any questions I would kick their ass.”
“Thanks for that,” I tell him, because I need it. “I don’t think I could’ve handled it that day.”
“I was only looking out for you.” He puts his arm around my shoulders as he walks me toward my first class.
“Did you know that yesterday your mom tried to convince me to marry you as soon as we graduate?” I ask him.
“No way.”
“Yes way.”
Gabe laughs. “Well, I guess that means she likes you.”
“I guess so. But it’s weird.” We stop just outside of my classroom.
He doesn’t reply to my comment. Instead he says, “I guess I will see you at lunch,” and then turns and walks the other way.
“See you,” I say, and walk into my classroom. It’s the first time Gabe has ever walked me to class, and I have to say — I could get used to this. I take my normal seat beside Kasbian.
“You’re alive,” he says.
I nod my head. “Last time I checked.”
“I heard that you had a pretty crazy Thursday night.”
It’s sad that almost dying is actually a pretty average night for me. “Totally crazy,” trying to sound more enthusiastic about it.
“You have the worst luck.”
“Yeah,” I say. “I really do.”
“Like seriously, how many bad things have happened?”
I decide to change the subject. “So, I’ve decided to start filming again.”
Kasbian’s eyes widen and he smiles. “That’s amazing, Kihanna.”
