“I’ll be right back. Need to clean you up and uncuff you before we both fall asleep where we’re standing.”
He scooped up the condom from the floor and was back a moment later with a warm wet washcloth, and he tenderly wiped away all traces of his release. All of the sleepy, warm fuzzy feelings vanished, and she drew in a breath through clenched teeth. The terrycloth felt like steel wool on her overly-sensitive skin.
Once he was done with the washcloth, he unchained her from the footboard and removed the cuffs. Ivy straightened then grabbed hold of the end of the bed as a wave of dizziness swamped her.
Will’s arms were around her in an instant. “Are you all right?”
“Just a little lightheaded. I’ll be fine.”
His lips quirked. “There’s your favorite word again.” He guided her to the side of the bed and carefully helped her unfasten her corset. “Lie down on your stomach, and I’ll be right back.”
He draped the garment over the back of a chair then disappeared into the bathroom. She’d closed her eyes and must have drifted off because the feeling of Will rubbing some sort of cooling lotion into her skin startled her awake.
“Shhh,” he murmured. “I’ve got you. Just want to make sure you’re not too uncomfortable later.”
She relaxed slightly, but his touch, no matter how gentle, still hurt. She couldn’t bring herself to care, though. She was still happily floating in the post-amazing-sex cloud. Seemed like she ended up there with Will more often than not.
He turned off the light then climbed in behind her. When she would have turned to her side so he could spoon her, he placed his hand on the small of her back, and curled around her, draping one of his legs across hers and pressing a kiss to her shoulder.
“You’re going to be more comfortable on your stomach for a bit.”
For a moment, she let herself imagine having this with Will all the time. And, just as quickly, she reminded herself why she couldn’t have it. She didn’t belong in England. Even if Will were to ask her to stay, she had no way of supporting herself. No way of earning a living. Then there was Charlotte. Her best friend who loved her despite the fact that she was a train wreck. But Charlotte also loved her little brother, and like the big sister she was, she wanted to protect him. Of course, she wouldn’t want him with Ivy. And that was supposing that Will even wanted her, anyway. Sooner or later, the novelty would wear off. She closed her eyes against the sudden sting of tears.
Will’s fingers twitched, contracting on her back before spreading out again, as his breathing deepened and evened out and he fell into a deep sleep. Between physical therapy, practice, and sex, she knew he had to be completely exhausted. But that knowledge didn’t help her feel any less alone as she tried to figure out when and how to tell him goodbye.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Early morning sun slanted through the blinds, making Will squint and pull Ivy closer. Except she wasn’t there to pull closer, and her side of the bed was cold. Panic gripped him around the throat. Had she gone? Had he pushed her too far last night? Been too rough with her? He remembered the way she’d come from nothing more than the sensation of his jizz hitting her. She hadn’t seemed like someone who’d been traumatized.
He found his shorts and tugged them on. Her suitcase and purse were where she’d left them. She wouldn’t have gone anywhere without her purse. The chokehold fear had on his neck relaxed a bit, and he took a deeper breath.
The rest of the flat was dark, except for the overstuffed chair in the far corner of the living room. The floor lamp, next to the chair she was curled up in, had been turned on. And Ivy had fallen asleep, book in her lap and robe slipping off her shoulder.
He grabbed the blanket from the back of the couch and carefully covered her with it. She stirred as soon as the fabric touched her and opened her eyes.
Pulling the footstool closer to the chair, he sat down. “Are you all right?”
She nodded and yawned. “I couldn’t sleep for some reason, and I didn’t want to wake you. You need your rest.”
“You need yours, too.” He took her hand and pressed a kiss to her palm. “Besides, I sleep better when you’re with me.”
She smiled, but it looked a little sad around the edges. He couldn’t tell if she was just tired or if there was something else going on.
“Do you want some coffee?” he asked.
She nodded. “Yes, please.”
In the kitchen, he set the coffeemaker to brew and found the stupidly huge soup mug Ivy liked to drink from. When the coffee was finished, he brought it to her. “Your vat of caffeine, madam.”
She giggled. “Look, just because all you drink is a thimble full.”
“This is a normal human-sized mug.” He took sip then sat across from her, again, and ran his palm up her calf. “Was last night too much? Is that why you couldn’t sleep?”
She shook her head and wrapped her hands around the huge mug and peered at him over the top of it. “Last night was amazing.”
“Speaking of last night...” He shifted on the stool. He didn’t really want to bring this up and ruin a perfectly nice morning, but they needed to talk. “I wanted to ask you something.”
She tucked the blanket in a little tighter around her, almost as if she were trying to protect herself from whatever he was about to say. It made his heart ache to see that her default reaction was the expectation of being hurt.
“Okay,” she said, taking a sip and staring down into her cup.
He set down his mug on the end table next to the chair and leaned forward, resting his hands on her knees. “I need you to help me understand why it’s so important that Charlotte doesn’t know about us.”
Ivy shook her head. “Please don’t do this.”
“We need to figure this out—preferably before she gets home.”
Ivy’s eyes widened. “She’s my best friend—not to mention one of the few friends I have left.” She swallowed hard before continuing. “Eventually, what happened at the wedding will come out. She’s never going to forgive me for keeping that a secret for all these years. She’s never going to forgive me for having sex with you in the first place. I’m already going to lose you when this ends. I don’t want to lose her, too.”
Will pulled his hand away from Ivy’s legs and sat back, forcing his breathing to slow while he tried to figure out what to respond to first. He took a deep breath. Then another. And another. “Why the fuck are you so god damn convinced this relationship is going to crash and burn?”
She leaned back in her chair and stared at him.
Will dragged his hand through his hair and sighed. “That...didn’t come out as calmly as I’d intended. I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine.”
His gaze met hers. “Really? Fine? That’s what you’re gonna go with?” A humorless laugh escaped him. “Okay. I’m going to try this again. I know you’re still under the mistaken belief that I’m incapable of telling the difference between infatuation and affection. That I’m either too stupid to know the difference or too immature. I’m not really sure which one pisses me off more.”
Her eyes clouded. “I don’t think you’re stupid. Or immature. At all.”
“So, what? You’re just along for the sex? If that’s what it is, fine. But I can’t help but think there’s more here than that. You feel something for me whether you want to admit it or not. You might think you’re the master of hiding your emotions, but love, you pretty much suck at it.”
She set down her coffee cup next to his and crossed her arms over her chest, building the protective wall higher between them. “You know what? You’re right. As fucking usual. You win. I care about you. I care about you a lot. A hell of a lot more than I should.”
They sat in silence for several moments, staring at each other.
Will scrubbed a hand over his face. “Christ, Ivy. What the fuck do I even do with that?”
“How am I supposed to know?” she snapped. “You’re the one who’s pushing fo
r answers. You’re the one who’s always on about being direct. You figure it out.”
“You care about me.” He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “I’m falling in love with you.”
Her gasp would have been comical if he didn’t feel like they were both hanging on to the same cliff by their fingertips, safety harnesses nowhere in sight.
“I’m going to repeat that in case it didn’t sink in the first time around. Or if, as I suspect, you’re trying to convince yourself of all the reasons it isn’t true.”
Her cheeks colored, and he knew he was right.
“I’m falling in love with you, Ivy Wright—from your scorchingly hot, kinky head all the way to your slightly neurotic, self-conscious toes. I’ve never felt this way about any other woman, so please don’t assume this is business as usual for me. If it were only up to me, what we have wouldn’t end, at all. So, I need to understand why you think it’s inevitable that it will.”
She snorted. “I think my record speaks for itself.”
“I’ll admit, until recently, you’ve had some pretty shitty taste in men. But does that mean that you’re willing to walk away from this amazing connection we have because someone else hurt you? Are you just going to keep hurting yourself—and me—in their stead? I’m trying to understand how that makes any sense.”
She uncrossed her arms and leaned toward him, resting her forehead against his. “Even if we didn’t have all of this other stuff, there’s still the fact that I live an ocean away. My life is there. Yours is here.”
He took her hands and laced their fingers together. “I’m not sure if you’re aware, but there are these magical devices called planes. And ships. And phones. And the internet.”
She sighed. “A long-distance relationship? Really?”
“For fuck’s sake, woman. When are you going to get it through your head that I’m willing to try just about anything to be with you?”
Tears fell from her eyes and dripped between them onto their joined fingers.
“Hey, now.” He released her hands and tilted her face up, but her eyes were closed, and tears continued to seep down her cheeks. Cupping her face, he brushed away the moisture with his thumbs.
Finally, she opened her eyes. They shimmered silver beneath the veil of tears. “I didn’t mean to fall for you.”
“I didn’t think I was that bad an option.”
A watery smile lifted her lips, and she covered his hands with her own. “You’re the very worst option, Will.” Before he could speak, she quickly rushed to add, “You’re smart, funny, gorgeous, kind, talented, and the last thing you need is to be with someone like me.”
“You’re right. I don’t need to be with someone like you. I need to be with you.”
Her eyes filled again.
“I know you’re worried about losing Charlotte, but that’s not going to happen. Yeah, she might be pissed at first, but she loves us both. She’ll get over it.” He took a breath. “And there’s no rule that says we have to tell her what happened at the wedding reception. That can stay between us.”
For some reason, Ivy looked absolutely stricken.
“What’s wrong?” When she didn’t respond, he asked, “What am I missing here?”
Ivy shook her head. “Nothing.”
She was lying—he knew it. But he also wasn’t going to push her. Not now while they were actually making progress.
“Will you come with me to talk to Charlotte when she gets back?”
Ivy stared at him, for what felt like hours, then she finally nodded.
He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “It’s going to be okay. We’re going to be okay.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
It had been five days since Will had announced he was falling in love with her, and Ivy still didn’t know how to deal with it. She wanted to just throw caution to the wind and allow herself to believe that they could actually have a life together. She’d told him she cared about him, but it was so much more than that. She was in love with him, and she had been for quite some time. She wasn’t even sure when it had happened. She’d simply woken up several weeks ago knowing that everything she’d ever felt for Daniel had been nowhere near what she felt for Will.
And none of that even mattered. There was still a huge freaking secret between them. She should have told him before they’d ever gotten together. The longer she kept it from him, the heavier it weighed on her chest. It was getting harder to breathe every time she looked at him.
“We’re taking Ivy out to lunch today,” Peyton announced as she and Sarah walked up to where Ivy and Will had been talking to Simon. Well, Will had been talking. Simon had been shooting her concerned looks. She just smiled and pretended that she hadn’t noticed anything.
“Also, we’re going to try to convince her to stay in the country and be the official team tutor so the families with kids can travel with the team more often.”
Ivy’s head whipped around. “What?”
Sarah linked arms with her. “Trust me, this is a great idea. You get to stay in the country. We get to keep our friend. You’ll have a teaching job. And you’ll get to see Charlotte all the time, too.”
“And Will doesn’t turn into a morose fuck with you thousands of miles away,” Peyton added. “Everyone’s a winner.”
Ivy opened her mouth and closed it again, feeling her cheeks heat. “It’s probably too soon to start making plans like this.”
“Not by my count,” Peyton said. “Aren’t you due to leave next week?”
Hearing someone else say it shifted the ground beneath Ivy’s feet, and she felt as though she might fall. This was the beginning of the end. Yes, Will had said that he wanted try a long-distance relationship—do whatever it took—but she was honest enough with herself to know that it would never last.
“Speaking of leaving,” Sarah said. “We should get going, or we’re going to miss our reservation.”
Ivy turned to Will and quickly kissed him. But, before she could leave, he caught her face and cradled it in his hands and kissed her again—deeper, longer—until she melted against him. When they finally parted, he stared into her eyes. “See you at home.”
She nodded. “See you then.”
Now, the ground was tilting beneath her feet for a completely different reason.
Peyton nudged Ivy’s shoulder as they walked toward Sarah’s car. “I know you don’t want to leave that behind.”
She wasn’t wrong. At all.
After they’d eaten at some decadent French restaurant Peyton had insisted they try, they stopped at the restroom on the way out.
“Oh, balls,” Peyton muttered from inside the stall. “Do either of you have a tampon?”
“I’m sure I do,” Ivy said. “Let me check my purse.”
She dug through the contents of her bag as a slow prickling sweat rose on her skin and dread made her blood run cold. As soon as she passed the tampon under the stall, she grabbed her phone and opened her period app. She hadn’t gotten her period yet this month. Flipping to the previous month, she counted forward to the pink dots indicated on the calendar. She was three weeks late. She was never late. Her reproductive system operated with the precision of a Swiss watch.
“Ivy?” Sarah asked. “Are you all right?”
Ivy caught a glimpse of her reflection. The blood had drained from her face, and her eyes were wide and terrified.
Peyton met her gaze in the mirror as she washed her hands then took Ivy’s arm and led her to the seating area that they’d walked through to reach the stalls. They stopped in front of a couch. “You look like you need a sit-down, ducks.”
Woodenly, Ivy sank onto a cushion with Sarah and Peyton on either side of her. Stomach roiling, she lowered her phone so they could both see the app. “I’m late.”
“How late?” Sarah asked as Peyton grabbed the phone and started scrolling through the past months.
“Three weeks,” Ivy murmured.
“Damn. You’re regular as
fuck,” Peyton added, glancing past Ivy at Sarah, concern evident in her expression.
“Have you ever been late before?” Sarah asked.
Ivy nodded, her eyes burning with sudden tears. “Twelve years ago.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” Sarah asked at the same time Peyton demanded, “What happened?”
Ivy smiled slightly as she wiped at her eyes. The differences between the two women couldn’t have been better illustrated.
“The night before Charlotte’s wedding, my fiancé dumped me.”
“Tosser,” Peyton muttered.
Ivy blew her nose with the tissue Sarah had just pulled from her purse. “He really was,” she agreed. “I didn’t tell Charlotte until after the honeymoon. I didn’t want her worrying about me. I didn’t want to ruin the wedding, you know?”
Both women nodded, and she continued, “I was angry and feeling sorry for myself, and I had entirely too much to drink.”
Peyton nodded sympathetically.
“It’s a long story, but I ended up in a broom closet with Will.”
Sarah’s eyes widened, and she looked horrified.
Peyton just looked furious. “He took advantage of you?” she demanded.
“I was the one who went after him.”
“You were drunk,” Peyton snapped. “He knows better.”
“He does now. But he was seventeen. And a virgin. Honestly, I’m the one who took advantage of him.”
She swallowed hard. She’d never told anyone this before, and suddenly, she was telling Will’s friends—hers, too, she supposed. But their friendships were so new. Maybe that made it easier to share everything. They didn’t have years of assuming that they knew everything about each other like she and Charlotte did. Her chest ached when she thought of telling her best friend all this. And she’d have to. There was no avoiding it, anymore. She realized that, now.
“Anyway, we didn’t use protection.” She swiped at her eyes. “Of course, that never occurred to me until I was a month late.”
“Oh, no.” Sarah took her hand.
Peyton put her arm around Ivy’s shoulders.
In Bounds Page 19
