“Good idea for you to provide the protection this time,” Alice said with a jittery laugh, suddenly feeling anxious all over again.
Charles brought his face inches from hers. “Everything happens for a reason, darling, and your sentimental condom was no exception.” He kissed her long and hard, then thrust into her, making her gasp his name.
He gave an answering moan, then Alice lost all ability to think. Her body took over, moving with Charles as if they’d been together for years. He knew exactly how to touch her, what to whisper, the way she wanted to be held. When the pressure built and finally broke over them like a sparkling wave, like every bit of sunshine and light she’d ever felt, Alice knew she was ruined for any other man.
Whether her time with Charles lasted days or weeks, or even it was over after tonight, her heart would be his forever.
Chapter Thirteen
Charles lay wrapped around Alice hours later, after making love to her for a second time. He tried to calm his heart, which was pounding not because of exertion, but from the emotions tumbling around his chest like so many rocks spilling over the side of a mountain face. That’s how he felt after being with Alice again—as if he were standing on a sharp precipice, about to free-fall off the edge. Adrenaline was pumping through him, and he didn’t trust himself to speak, afraid of the words that would pour out of his mouth. Words that would make him seem needy and desperate, and expose the soft underside of his heart that he kept locked away.
This was sex, he reminded himself, and he’d done the same thing too many times to count, with more women than he should admit. Being with Alice should be no different.
Except it was. And that scared the hell out of him.
He wasn’t willing to let her go, but he’d have to eventually. Kate Fortune had accused him of having a raging Peter Pan complex. As offensive as the idea was, Charles hadn’t ever given much thought to settling down and being responsible. His reputation, career—his whole life—was based on being the Fortune who refused to grow up. As much as he wanted to live up to his father, Charles hated the idea that he might fail. It had always been easier not to try, and the consequences of his actions hadn’t mattered.
But they would to Alice. He knew he could be a part-time father and a halfway decent one, but a woman like Alice deserved a man who could fully devote himself to her. Charles had always been afraid there was something inherently lacking in him—some ability to commit that had seemed to skip him in the family gene pool. If he was destined to disappoint Alice, wouldn’t it be better if he never tried in the first place?
She snuggled closer and he dropped a soft kiss on her bare shoulder as he sifted her spun-silk hair through his fingers.
“Thank you for tonight,” she said softly, and he could hear the sleepy smile in her voice.
He made what sounded even to his own ears like a Neanderthal grunt. Where had his gallant polish gone now that he needed it most?
Her whole body stiffened when the silence drew out between him. “Should I go?” she asked, clearly interpreting his inability to form a coherent sentence as disinterest.
Yes, he wanted to yell, go before I mess this up or hurt you or reveal so much that you hurt me. He was so wrapped up in his own doubts that he didn’t register that she’d moved out of his arms until the bed shifted. He grabbed her before she stood, and pulled her back onto the bed, lifting himself above her.
“Stay.” His tone was too gruff, he knew, and she turned her face to the side.
“It’s okay, Charles. You don’t have to say—”
He smoothed his hand along her cheek and tipped it until she met his gaze. “I should say so much more, but my brain appears to have been addled by the best shag of my life.”
The corner of her mouth lifted slightly, but was enough to give him a glimmer of hope that he could make this right.
“The best?”
“If there was a better than the best, you would be it.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “I’m sorry I made you feel anything different. Stay with me tonight, Alice. I want to wake up next to you tomorrow. I want to open my eyes and see your beautiful face.”
Her smile broadened. “Okay.”
“Tell me it was better than okay for you?”
She tapped one finger to her mouth. “I don’t have much for comparison...”
He flipped onto his back and took her with him. “Maybe you need more to compare it to?”
“Maybe I do,” she agreed, and kissed him. After that, all his doubts melted away in the heat and light of Alice.
* * *
Although he’d asked her to stay the night before, Charles expected to be ready to say goodbye to Alice once they woke up. He liked a solitary morning, usually needing to recover from his active nighttime social life.
But once again, being with Alice was a revelation. He was not only happy to have her body curled around him, he wanted to spend as much of the day as he could with her. He watched her sleep, her breath easing in and out. She was on her side, facing him, the sheet bunched under her arms with just the tips of her breasts showing. She’d washed off her makeup sometime in the night and in the morning light he could see a faint dusting of freckles across her nose. He wondered if Flynn would have his mother’s freckles and her sweet spirit. Charles couldn’t wait to see how his son developed.
He also couldn’t seem to wait for Alice to wake up. Charles trailed his finger along her collarbone, then down her chest, curling his fingertip in the sheet to tug it down.
Alice’s eyes flew open as her hand clamped over his.
“Good morning,” he said, bending his head to press his lips to the swell of her breast.
“Hi,” she said with a small yelp of pleasure. “You’re up early.”
“Every day, love.”
“Now I see where Flynn gets his sleep habits.” She yawned, then yelped as Charles nipped at her skin. “I need coffee.”
“I have something to wake you up faster than caffeine.” He pulled at the sheet again. “It’s going to be your best morning ever.”
She stretched her arms around his neck, and his muscles heated in response. “Let’s see what you’ve got.”
After a leisurely breakfast ordered from room service and a shower, Alice insisted she needed to go back to her apartment to change and then pick up Flynn from her parents.
“I’ll drive you,” Charles offered, pulling on the Keep Austin Weird T-shirt that was quickly becoming his favorite.
“To my apartment?” Alice asked, slipping on the red heels from the previous night. He wanted to buy her those shoes in every color and beg her to wear them for him each night. “Thanks, that would make the walk of shame I’m about to do less embarrassing.”
“No shame,” he told her. He paused, then added, “I could free up my schedule and take you out to your parents’ house to get Flynn if you want.”
The truth was, he had nothing on his calendar for the day. He’d taken to leaving it empty in the hopes that he’d get to spend time with Alice. It was easy enough to fill when he needed to, and most of his friends and family would be shocked to see him rearranging his plans for a woman. At this point, he didn’t care.
But the look Alice threw him from across the room definitely wasn’t encouraging.
“That’s not a good idea.”
“Why?”
“My mom and dad don’t know anything about...” She squeezed her fists at her sides. “About Flynn’s father.”
“You mean me?”
“We agreed to keep this private, Charles.”
“For how long?” he asked, grabbing his wallet and keys from the dresser and shoving them in his pocket. “My brothers and sisters know I have a son now. They aren’t going to tell anyone outside the family. I assume your parents aren’t going to phone it in to the tabloids.”
“Of course not.”
“Then why can’t I meet them?”
She took a step toward him. “Because they would have expectations for
you and me. I love my parents, but they’re traditional. It was difficult for them to come to terms with me becoming a single mother. I can’t just waltz in there and introduce them to some international playboy who also happens to be my...my baby daddy.”
“That’s an interesting term,” he said through clenched teeth.
“I’m sorry, but it’s the truth.”
She looked as miserable as Charles felt, and he wanted to wrap her in his arms and tell her he’d make everything right for both of them. The problem was, he didn’t know how.
“Give us more time to figure things out, Charles. Unless you have the answer for how all of this is going to work.”
“I’m here now,” he offered, even though it sounded lame to his ears. But he couldn’t give her anything more. He wasn’t ready, wasn’t sure he’d ever be.
Alice gave him a tight smile. “I appreciate that, but I’m not prepared for you to meet my parents. Not yet.”
“Whatever you want,” he said, and forced his own smile. “Let’s be on our way, then.”
They rode in silence to her apartment, and Charles hated every second of it. He wanted to reach across the interior of the car and take her hand. He wanted to do something to renew the feeling between them, the one that made him itchy and uncomfortable and happier than he could ever remember.
But he didn’t say anything. He didn’t do anything. He pulled to the curb in front of her building minutes later. “Here you go, love.”
She put her hand on the door handle. After a moment she turned to him. “After his afternoon nap, I’m going to give Flynn cereal for the first time. I know it’s not the most exciting way to spend a Saturday.” Her smile was hesitant but did wonders for his mood. “But I’d love for you to come over and help.”
“I wouldn’t miss it,” he said, and her smile widened.
* * *
Alice finished changing Flynn’s diaper just as the doorbell rang. She hurried to put a new outfit on the baby, then carried him out to open the front door.
Charles stood on the other side, holding a cardboard box that hit him midchest. On the side was a photo of a baby in a high chair.
“You didn’t have to do that,” Alice said, taking a step back to make room for Charles to enter.
“You said you hadn’t bought a high chair yet.” He lifted it easily, his arm muscles bunching under the casual T-shirt he wore. No matter how much he dressed like an American, Charles always looked like the perfect, dashing Brit to her.
“I haven’t needed one yet,” she told him. “And I’m a little short on space in here.”
He beamed. “That’s why this one is perfect.” He flipped the box around and pointed to the picture on the other side. “The saleswoman recommended it for small spaces. It folds up to only eight inches wide so you tuck it into a corner when he’s finished eating.” Charles leaned forward and jiggled Flynn’s foot. “Hullo, little man. Are you ready for some tasty porridge?”
Flynn looked at him and broke into a smile and happy gurgling that made Alice’s insides clench. Looks like she wasn’t the only one enamored with Charles. But she was determined to protect Flynn’s innocent little heart, even if hers was already preparing for the inevitable ache.
“Thank you. That’s very generous, Charles. You don’t have to lavish us with gifts every time we see you.”
“Who’s lavishing?” he asked with mock solemnity. “This is only the tip of the iceberg.”
She went to close the front door, but he held up a hand. “I’m not kidding, Alice. There are three more bags in the hall.” He propped the high chair box against the back of the couch, then stepped around her.
Alice’s eyes widened as he pulled several large shopping bags with a local toy store’s logo printed on the sides into the apartment. “What more could we need?”
“According to the saleswoman, quite a bit. The developmental milestones come fast in the next few months, so I’ve got board books and teething rings and activity toys for every occasion.”
Flynn watched Charles unload the bags with interest. Alice was still in shock. “You don’t need to do this.”
“But I want to.” He reached for the big box again. “Let’s get this thing set up so we can start our boy on some yummy...” He paused, flashing her a sheepish smile. “What is it he eats again?”
“Rice cereal.”
“Sounds tasty.”
Charles tipped the box flat on the floor, then lifted his arms. “I’ll take him for a bit.”
“Are you sure?”
“He can read the assembly directions to me.”
Alice laughed but grabbed a small fleece blanket from the arm of the sofa and spread it onto the floor. “He’s four months old,” she said as she laid Flynn on the soft fabric.
“Then we’ll have to wing it.”
Flynn kicked his arms and legs as if he was excited by the prospect of helping his daddy with a project.
The flutter in Alice’s heart as she watched her two boys together felt both familiar and sweet. Even if the scene before her wasn’t entirely true. Charles wasn’t hers, as much as it had felt like it last night. Yet he was here now, and Alice was becoming quite an expert at living in the moment and burying her deeper needs and desires.
She mixed together the dry cereal and water until it was the soupy consistency Flynn’s pediatrician recommended. By the time she had turned from the counter, Charles was setting Flynn into the high chair.
“That was quick.”
“Turns out they come almost assembled. There’s one problem, however.”
She took a step closer and smiled. Flynn’s face was eye level with the high chair tray, his little head drooping to one side. “He may need to grow into it a bit.”
“A bit,” Charles agreed, and they shared a grin that she imagined parents all over the world could appreciate. It was the amusement of two people united in their love for a baby, which made even the littlest moments special.
She found a blanket to prop Flynn up, then adjusted the straps of the high chair until he looked comfortable.
Charles picked up the bowl of cereal from the table and stirred it a few times. “This doesn’t look edible.”
“It is for babies.” She arched an eyebrow. “Unless you want to taste test it first?”
“That sounds like a dare, Ms. Meyers.”
She pulled a spoon out of one of the kitchen drawers and pointed it at him. “Are you up for the challenge?”
With a cheeky grin, he took the spoon from her and dipped it into the cereal. “Only for you,” he told her, then took a bite.
She couldn’t help but smile as she watched him. How many other people had seen this playful, casual side of Charles? Probably his mother and siblings. Maybe friends from school. But Alice wondered if he’d let down his guard with any other women before her. It wasn’t something that came natural to him, so she doubted there could be many.
“Hey.” He touched a fingertip to her nose, making her jump. “I’m the one supposed to be making faces here.”
She shook off her musings. “How was it?”
“Not bad, but not good, either.” He turned to Flynn, who was watching the exchange with wide eyes. “What do you think, wee man? Ready for a go at it?”
As if in response, Flynn slapped his palms on the plastic tray. Charles started to hand the bowl to Alice, but she shook her head. “Do you want to give him the first bite?” she asked.
“Are you sure?”
Every moment she’d had with Flynn had been on her own. She’d changed diapers, soothed him, witnessed his first smile and listened to his first baby babbling by herself. That’s how she’d wanted it. She’d needed to prove to herself and to her parents and friends that she could manage things on her own. That she was more than anyone thought she was.
But that was just one more way Charles was different. He expected her to be the expert on parenting. And in many ways she was, although she was no longer alone. Even if it couldn’t be as
much as she wanted, she and Charles were partners and connected for life by their beautiful son.
So she was happy to let him take the lead on his “first” first.
She nodded and he turned to Flynn. “Let’s make your mommy proud, Flynn, my boy.” He scooped up a small bit of cereal and held it out to the baby. Flynn opened his mouth automatically as the spoon got closer and Charles dipped it between his rosebud lips.
Immediately Flynn pulled back, scrunched up his face and shuddered.
Alice held her breath and Charles froze, waiting to see the rest of the reaction.
After a moment, the baby’s features softened and he smacked his lips together, then opened his mouth for more. “Well done, lad,” Charles said with a laugh, and fed him another bite.
Alice took over, and eventually Flynn turned away from the spoon, signaling he was full. She put the bowl and spoon into the sink as Charles lifted him out of the high chair. She watched Charles grab a wipe from the container on the table and dab it at Flynn’s cheeks. Something about the way he held the baby made Alice melt even more than usual. It was late afternoon and she wanted nothing more than to grab Charles and pull him close, to lean into his strength.
That was dangerous. Heartache was one thing to deal with, but a complete break was too much. She would save that for when she was safely alone again.
“Do you want to do something fun?” she blurted before she passed the point of no return.
Charles rocked Flynn gently in his arms. “What did you have in mind?”
“Bats,” she said.
Charles cocked a brow. “Bats?”
“They’re a thing in Austin. The world’s largest urban bat colony lives under the Congress Avenue Bridge downtown—over a million bats. They migrate down to Mexico for the winter but come back each March. Every spring and summer night around sunset they take off for their evening feeding. It’s pretty amazing to see.”
He didn’t look convinced.
She pointed to his chest. “You’re wearing a Keep Austin Weird T-shirt. It’s time to prove you believe it.”
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