Death's Doorway

by Crin Claxton

  Tony studied Jade’s troubled face. “You don’t think we could—”

  “Tony.” Jade rested her hand on Tony’s arm. “Don’t you remember me telling you about Martin? I had to put up with boys in gangs at my school, remember? Some of them had tough lives, and I even understood why they wanted to be in a gang, but they were horrible people. They terrorized everyone else. Those boys killed Martin.”

  Tony had forgotten. Martin was pretty much the only school friend Jade had had when she’d first come to England. He’d been white. People at Jade’s school had thought them weird hanging out with each other.

  “They killed him because they thought he was in another gang. He wasn’t. They took his life anyway.” Jade swallowed. “I don’t want us to take gang cases. I don’t want those people in our lives.”

  Tony pulled Jade in for a hug. “Okay,” she said softly into Jade’s neck.

  *

  Jade sat on a bench in St. James’s Park with Suni, watching ducks and pelicans swim in the lake. Bushes heavy with new green leaves surrounded the water in clumps. The Shell Tower, the Shard, and the top semicircle of the London Eye rose above trees in the distance. The cries of waterfowl interrupted the gentle splash of water from a fountain set in the middle of the lake.

  It was eight o’clock in the evening, and dusky twilight was just beginning to settle around them. Jade liked the extra daylight in summertime in England. It was early May, and the days were getting longer and longer. Jade felt the excitement of good things to come. Day and night were equal all year round in the Caribbean, so there was no feeling of long summer days. Wintertime in the Caribbean, though, now there was somewhere to be.

  She snuck a look at Suni.

  Talking of good things to come.

  Suni’s long eyelashes fluttered as she blinked. A buzz of attraction shot through Jade. She felt tingly and restless. She could hardly sit still.

  Breathe, girl.

  She hadn’t remembered Suni’s eyelashes being quite so long and luscious. It must have been something to do with the light. Not that Suni needed any help being attractive.

  Suni turned. “Are you warm enough?”

  Jade nodded.

  “I’m just comfortable. I’m used to warmer climates.”

  Jade smiled. “Yeah, I get that. It took me several years to get used to the freezing, damp winters here.”

  Suni grimaced. “I hate the cold. It’s nice being outside, though. I feel like I’ve been cooped up since I arrived.” She stretched her arms out. Her fingers brushed against Jade’s leg. Jade jumped at the touch. At this rate, it was going to be hard to concentrate on her reason for meeting up with Suni. Jade let her eyes drift back to the lake. A mallard bent his head and touched beaks with his mate. It had been a long time since she’d felt loved like that. She pushed away the small ache in her heart and tried to think of a way of bringing Suni’s ex into the conversation.

  “You’re reflective.” Suni touched Jade’s knee gently.

  Jade swallowed. She was sure Suni must see how the touch affected her. She opened her mouth to speak.

  “When did you wash up on these shores like the treasure of outstanding natural beauty that you are?” Suni spoke first.

  Jade closed her mouth abruptly. She wanted to giggle. Suni’s way of putting things bordered on corny, but Jade’s heart lifted at being compared to a beautiful shell or something like that. She had a flash of herself lying across white sand with wet clothes clinging to her body and warm waters lapping over her. Suni would be in the picture, of course, bending down to lie beside her.

  Jade pulled her mind back to St. James’s Park, admonishing herself for the naughty thoughts.

  “Is it that long ago you’re still trying to remember? I don’t need the exact date.” Suni laughed. Her eyes twinkled with reflected light from the deepening sunset.

  “I came here when I was fourteen. That’s over twenty years ago.” Out of habit, Jade didn’t say it was more like thirty years ago. The theater industry was notoriously ageist when it came to casting women.

  “My, a young girl. That must have been some cultural change.”

  “It was harsh, leh me tell you.” Jade broke into Trinidadian for a moment.

  “Now you sound Caribbean,” Suni said.

  “Yeah.” Jade smiled. “I’ve mostly lost my accent now. I’ll get seen for more parts if I have a standard British accent. When I’m offstage, I forget myself every now and then and my real voice bursts out.”

  “You seem so comfortable here now. What was that journey like?” Suni settled back on the bench. Jade was touched at how interested in her Suni was.

  “The first couple of years weren’t easy. I came from a large and loving family in Matura. My mum cried all the way to the airport. She was crying so hard, I didn’t, if that makes sense.”

  Suni nodded.

  “I was scared. I was coming to live with my aunt. I knew her quite well because she came out most winters to visit us in Trinidad. We always got on. I was her favorite. It was her idea I came to the UK. I didn’t want to leave my school or my friends and family, but I was excited to come. Everyone said it would change my life, give me opportunities I’d never get in Trinidad, and that’s true, it did.”

  “So, what happened when you got here? Was it very different to what you were used to?”

  “The biggest shock was the miserable faces. I came from a little coastal town. It sounds like a stereotype, but no one had much of anything, and still they were laid back and happy. Or at least they looked happy. People know how to laugh in Trinidad. They ain’t afraid to smile. I know the UK well now, and I know that everyone in the UK isn’t miserable. Londoners are not the smiliest of people, that’s for sure. I thought it was because it was so damned cold.”

  “Well, it probably doesn’t help,” Suni said, laughing.

  “I was real quiet when I got here. My aunt was the only person I knew in the whole country. Most kids weren’t welcoming at my school. If my mum had known what it was going to be like, sending me to Wilsden, she wouldn’t have sent me. Some of the black kids liked me, though. I was far posher than them, but they thought I was dope, because I was straight from the Caribbean. Not Jamaica, mind. Most of them spoke with Jamaican accents even if they’d never been there. But once they found out I wasn’t a bashment singing gangsta they didn’t want to know me. A lot of them didn’t even know soca tunes, unless they’d heard them at the Notting Hill Carnival. My aunt said, ‘keep yourself to yourself, child,’ and that’s pretty much what I did. But just after I turned seventeen, she died.” Jade stopped talking. First, the gang boy had made her think of Martin, and now Suni’s innocent question had conjured up another painful memory. That time had been the loneliest and most vulnerable point of Jade’s life.

  Suni didn’t say anything. She shifted closer on the bench. The early evening air was starting to cool. Suni’s body warmth was welcome. After a minute, Suni gently picked up Jade’s hand and rested it in her own. Jade took a moment to compose herself.

  “I was alone in England then. It wasn’t easy, but I threw myself into studying and going to youth theater sessions. I did everything I could to make sure I got into the stage school LAMDA.” Jade smiled, remembering how elated she’d felt when the acceptance letter had come.

  “So, you’ve been through some tough times.” Suni’s voice was kind. She lifted Jade’s hand to her lips and gently kissed it. Jade’s eyes dipped as the warmth of Suni’s lips lit a trail to her loins.

  Suni’s lips found Jade’s. Suni was salty and soft and tantalizing. Jade opened her mouth and kissed her back. Everything faded except the kiss.

  Slowly, a series of whistles diverted Jade’s attention. She pulled back and looked around, feeling dazed. A park keeper stood a few meters away.

  “The park’s closing, girls,” she said, grinning broadly.

  As the park keeper walked off, blowing her whistle again, Suni took Jade’s hand and pulled her to her feet.

>   “Would you like to go get some dinner?” she asked.

  Jade nodded. Her head was full of their kiss, but in the back of her mind she knew she was supposed to speak to Suni about Felicia. She had a horrible feeling she’d just complicated matters. But then, she couldn’t feel anything was horrible at that moment. She followed Suni with a light heart.

  Chapter Five

  Jade had come to Tony’s for advice. She’d turned up with takeaway from her favorite restaurant. Not only was it Caribbean, it was Trinidadian.

  Jade finished her goat curry roti in four bites. She was buzzing about the hot masseuse at Maya’s clinic. Even though Tony secretly thought getting involved with the woman might complicate the case, she hadn’t said a word. Jade had been down lately. Tony wanted her to be happy more than she wanted the case solved.

  Unfortunately, Felicia had stepped up her haunting. Jade was being woken in the middle of the night. Jade didn’t function well without sleep. She had deep shadows under her eyes.

  “Come on, Deirdre, we need to talk to you,” Tony said impatiently. She turned to Jade. “I’ve no idea how to summon a ghost. Have you?”

  Jade shook her head. “I want to know how to make them go away.”

  Tony closed her eyes and screwed her face up. Deirdre! She focused all her attention on psychically calling Deirdre to them.

  “Well, for goodness sake. What’s the emergency?” Deirdre was standing on the other side of the coffee table with her hands on her hips. She had a black lacy slip over a ruffled miniskirt. Her black stockings were ripped. Her lipstick was a smudge running up one side of her mouth.

  “It’s not exactly an emergency. But Jade badly needs to talk to you. Thanks for rushing here so quickly. I can see you weren’t dressed.”

  “What do you mean? This look is intentional. It was all the rage in 1986. I was at a delightful retro party when you drilled a hole upside my head with that banshee shriek of yours. You need to tone that down, girlfriend, boyfriend, thing friend. Whatever you are.”

  Tony ignored the jibes about her gender.

  “What’s up, Jade? Can I fetch you a porter for the bags under your eyes? You could use some sleep, lady.”

  Jade scowled in the direction of Deirdre. “I’ve got an annoying ghost.”

  “So’ve I,” Tony muttered under her breath. “Annoying, and rude.”

  Deirdre narrowed her eyes but kept them fixed on Jade. “Felicia.”

  Jade perked up. “Oh, you know her name. She’s hounding me. What am I supposed to do?”

  “I don’t know,” Deirdre said. “She hasn’t gone through the proper channels. Hasn’t she told you what she wants from you?”

  Jade pursed her lips. “She wants me to say good-bye to her girlfriend.”

  “Well, then. Pass on the message and hopefully Felicia will flit off into the happily-ever-afterlife.”

  Jade looked thoughtful.

  Tony looked at Deirdre in her laddered stockings, the underwear as outerwear, the smudged makeup, and the back-combed wig and felt a surge of fondness. Deirdre had looked after her. Tony couldn’t imagine coping without her often annoying, but ultimately thoughtful, spirit guide.

  “Why hasn’t Jade got a spirit guide? If she’s talking to ghosts direct, doesn’t she need one?” Tony asked.

  Deirdre looked sideways at Jade. “It doesn’t work like that. I don’t make those kind of decisions. We just get assigned. That’s all I know. If Jade’s supposed to get a guide, she’ll get one.”

  “But shouldn’t ghosts go through people like you?”

  “Shouldn’t the most talented people rise to the top? Shouldn’t good people have good things happen to them? Shouldn’t I have been assigned to a steamy, tropical paradise instead of this rainy, slang-infested, stupidly stylish city?”

  Tony stared at her.

  “Yes, they should, but we can’t make them.” Deirdre studied Jade for a moment. “Jade, honey, be careful. Felicia may be disturbed. She’s found you without assistance, which means she has a powerful need. I can see Tony’s point. I’m not sure you should be dealing with this all on your own. I’ll put a suggestion in the suggestion box.”

  “Is there really a suggestion box?” Tony asked.

  Deirdre snorted. “Oh, the fun I could have with you, if only I had the time. Jade, pass on the message, and with any luck that will be that.”

  Jade looked down at her plate. It didn’t look like that was the answer she’d been hoping for.

  *

  “You haven’t said anything yet, have you? You haven’t said anything yet!”

  Jade woke with a start. Felicia’s whining, nasal voice droned on. Jade had a headache. She turned stiffly. Tony’s sofa bed had never been comfortable. Jade swore it was getting worse.

  Jade’s whole body was tense. She’d been dreaming about something horrible. The dream slipped away, but she thought it had been about Martin.

  The pain of losing him twisted inside her. It was dull now, compared to what it had been like once. Her late teenage years had been hard. She’d had to deal with two deaths, both sudden. She’d had to cope on her own.

  Oh well, that was a long time ago. No point in dragging up the past.

  “Don’t pretend you don’t hear me, girl,” Felicia grumbled into Jade’s right ear. Jade clenched her jaw and sat up, trying to ease out her cramped limbs. She stood and stretched. She’d love to hear from Martin or her aunt. Instead, she was stuck with high-maintenance Felicia.

  “Answer me, damn it.”

  When Felicia got going, it was torture. Jade was worn down with it. Felicia annoyed her, but she also unnerved Jade. She never knew when Felicia would launch a tirade. And there was a menacing quality to the way she spoke right into Jade’s ear, or came up behind her.

  Apart from Felicia’s incessant nagging, the flat was quiet. Jade clicked on her phone. It was four a.m.

  She padded to the bathroom. She was shattered. She needed a way to block out Felicia until she could broach the subject with Suni. Jade wanted to pursue something with Suni once the message was passed on, so she had to go carefully. She didn’t want Suni thinking she was delusional.

  “You need to pee a lot. You should see a doctor. Maybe you have diabetes. A lot of black people get diabetes.”

  Jade groaned. “Get lost, woman. I need my privacy, dammit.”

  “You so self-conscious, girl. Have you told Suni? Have you slept with her yet? I bet you haven’t told Suni. In fact, I know you haven’t told Suni. You haven’t, have you?” Felicia kicked off.

  Jade heaved a sigh.

  Felicia trailed behind her, moaning all the way to the bathroom.

  Jade sat on the toilet and peed, not caring if the ghost was watching. She washed her hands slowly and carefully, using both the hand wash and hand cream that Maya had put in Tony’s bathroom. Jade’s hands smelled of oranges and rosemary.

  “You shouldn’t sleep with her. For a start, she hasn’t gotten over me yet. Why would you want to open up that can of worms? And there’s no point in waiting. I don’t think she’ll ever be over me. And then it’s not professional, sleeping with your clients. Except she’s not your client. I am. So you shouldn’t sleep with your client’s girlfriends. That’s not right, is it? And anyway, you’re her client. So you shouldn’t sleep with her because she shouldn’t sleep with her clients.”

  Jade knew from previous experience there was no point in saying anything. It just inflamed Felicia. She hadn’t found any way of shutting her up. Jade had tried responding. That drove Felicia to new heights of ranting. Jade had tried ignoring her. Sometimes that worked, like now when Felicia didn’t need anyone to acknowledge her. But sometimes that made Felicia get right up into Jade’s face until she said something.

  Jade glanced at herself in the mirror above the sink. She looked tired. Her head was pounding. She opened Tony’s bathroom cabinet, looking for paracetamol. The prescription bottle next to it caught her eye.

  “Pills. Pimp ma pills.”r />
  Jade shut her eyes.

  Felicia had gone quiet. Jade breathed in and out silently for several breaths, enjoying the absence of noise.

  “They were all in lines. I don’t do lines.”

  Jade opened her eyes, flicking them to the mirrored inside of the cabinet. She half expected to see Felicia over her right shoulder. There was no one there.

  “So where do you get off, coming on to my girlfriend? I came to a sister for help. Sister! You’re a joke, girl. You so funny you should get yourself a routine and hit the comedy battles.”

  Jade’s gaze returned to the prescription bottle. It looked familiar. She picked it up and read the label: diazepam. She recalled Tony getting them from her doctor a year previously when she’d needed a break from a difficult spirit. Tony’s father had said they would make Tony stop seeing ghosts. Jade stared at the label thoughtfully. Mr. Carson had said the tranquilizers didn’t work for Tony because she didn’t get the dose right.

  “Bad things shouldn’t happen when you die. People should listen to you after you die. You should listen to me. That’s your problem. You don’t listen.”

  Jade walked out of the bathroom, taking the tranquilizers with her.

  *

  Tony was almost out the door on her way to Jade’s, when Deirdre materialized with Scott Brooks, the young gang member. He looked more wired than ever.

  “This is serious. We’re running out of time,” Deirdre said.

  “Deirdre, I thought you were going to ask someone else,” Tony said. “Jade’s my best friend. She’s also co-owner of the agency. I respect her wishes, and anyway, I have to say I agree with her.”

  “Things have moved quicker than expected. Repo is in serious danger if you don’t come right now. There’s no one else to ask, only you and Jade,” Deirdre said.

  “I’m expected at Jade’s. Maya’s still away so we’re having dinner,” Tony said.

  “That’s perfect. Convince Jade, and then you can go together. It’s only a few blocks from Jade’s boat to Scott’s housing project. That’s where Repo is.”