“I told you they were good,” Katie said with a knowing wink. She was about to say more when her phone rang. “I’ll be right back. It’s Rose.” Awkwardly, she got to her feet before Hunter or Violet could help her and made her way down the hall to her bedroom to talk–effectively leaving them alone.
“So,” she began once she finished chewing.
“So,” he mimicked, studying his hands.
Violet knew she wouldn’t be able to live with herself if she didn’t apologize for her behavior the previous day and…well…now seemed like the appropriate time. Reluctantly, she placed the rest of her cupcake on the coffee table and faced him.
“I’m sorry.”
His aquamarine eyes went a little wide as he looked at her. “Excuse me?”
“I said, I’m sorry. About yesterday. I made a snap judgment about you without knowing any of the facts, and I was kind of bitchy to you, so…yeah.” She let out a long breath and wondered if it would be rude to take another bite of cake before she spoke again.
“I appreciate it, but it really wasn’t necessary,” he said as he went back to studying his hands.
Which–in turn–made her study his hands and…wow. They were impressive.
Like the rest of him.
Swallowing hard and forcing herself to look at anything other than his hands, she said, “It really was. I’m not usually like that. I mean, I’m opinionated and not shy, but I usually give people the benefit of the doubt before I verbally attack.”
“I wouldn’t exactly say attack…”
“No. It was an attack. For sure.” Pausing, she figured she’d give him the Reader’s Digest version of herself to make him understand where she was coming from. Shifting, she faced him. “I have a…a thing about bad parenting. I spent a lot of years in foster care and I saw a lot. Too much. And now, when I see parents mistreating their kids and being neglectful, it just…”
If anything, his expression softened slightly. “I get it, and I’m sorry you had to go through that. And for what it’s worth, I feel the same way about bad parenting. I didn’t have it easy growing up either. My mom died when I was eight, and my dad was stuck raising four kids under the age of ten.” He paused and shook his head. “He did the best he could, and he wasn’t abusive or a bad parent, but…we struggled. I swore to myself I would give my kids the life I never had.” Then he let out a mirthless laugh. “And I’m failing miserably.”
Unable to help herself, Violet placed her hand on his arm. “You’re not. You’re really not. Yesterday–from what I could tell–was just a crappy situation. I’m sorry for what you’re going through.”
“Thanks,” he said quietly before his head turned toward hers. “If you don’t mind my asking, how did you end up in foster care?”
It wasn’t something she enjoyed talking about, but considering she was the one who brought it up, Violet figured she owed him an explanation.
“My parents were barely out of high school when my mom got pregnant with me. Their parents begged them to put me up for adoption, but they swore they were in love and ready to get married.” She sighed. “My dad walked out when I was five and my mom started drinking. Heavily. My grandparents–my mom’s folks–stepped in and would take care of me when mom was too hungover to do it, but…by the time I was ten, they were both gone. I don’t even remember my dad’s parents.” She paused and took her hand off of him. “Things got worse once my grandparents weren’t there to help out. My mom would disappear for a day or two at a time and I sort of got used to it.”
She hated the tremble in her voice and reached for the rest of her cupcake before she said any more.
“Violet…”
“She went out one night, got drunk, and got into an accident. She killed three people. And herself.” She shook her head. “I had no time to grieve or to prepare for what was going to happen to me. It was all a blur. One minute I had a home–albeit a crappy one–and the next, I was told to pack up whatever could fit in one suitcase and taken away.”
“Holy shit, Violet. I’m so sorry. I…I can’t even imagine what that must have been like for you.”
She took another bite of cake and nodded.
“No wonder you were pissed at me yesterday.”
If anyone had asked him why Violet had such an issue with him, Hunter never would have guessed this was it.
It bothered him.
A lot.
Maybe it was because it was a heartbreaking story and he couldn’t imagine anyone doing something like that to their own child.
Or maybe it was because his immediate thought was of how it was something Melissa was capable of.
“Sorry,” she said softly, breaking him out of his reverie. “It’s not something I talk about often, but I thought it was important for you to hear so you don’t think I’m a total bitch.”
“I didn’t think that, Violet,” he replied, but when she looked at him, he knew she didn’t believe him. “Okay, maybe I thought it a little bit yesterday.”
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For admitting it.”
It seemed like a weird thing to thank him for, but…whatever. “Can I ask you something, and then I swear we’ll change the subject?”
Beside him, she straightened. “Sure.”
“Is that how you and Katie met?”
Her eyes went wide. “So…you know about…I mean…”
He held up a hand to stop her. “Yeah. I’m good friends with Brian, and we all hang out together a lot when he’s not deployed. When Brian told me about Katie doing childcare and suggested I bring Eli here, it came up.”
“Then you know she hasn’t had it easy either.”
All he could do was nod.
“We’ve been best friends for fifteen years and…” Pausing, she gave him a weak smile. “We’re the only family each other has. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for her.”
“It’s great how you’re here with her. Rose moving here seemed like a nice thing to do, but I could tell Katie wasn’t one hundred percent comfortable with her living in the house.”
Violet laughed softly. “Yeah, she told me.”
There were a dozen questions on the tip of his tongue–questions about her life and how she handled all the blows–but now wasn’t the time. Not only because they barely knew each other, and it was safe to say his curiosity was touching on very sensitive subjects, but because his son and Kira were running around.
They sat in companionable silence as the kids came into the room. Kira was carrying a book and Eli was holding onto a stuffed elephant. Hunter watched in amusement as the two of them sat down in the corner of the living room where Katie had set up a reading nook, and Kira proceeded to try to read the book to Eli.
“Okay, that’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen,” Violet whispered beside him. She had moved a little closer–probably so he could hear her–but when her shoulder brushed his, Hunter felt himself stiffen slightly. He forced himself not to move, not to react, but it was harder than he thought.
Glancing back over at the kids, he smiled. It wasn’t often he had the opportunity to watch his son interact with other kids and it was kind of cool.
“If you don’t mind me saying,” Violet began, “Eli’s kind of quiet. Kira’s a total social butterfly and chatterbox. I hope she gives him time to talk.” Then she laughed, and it was a little husky, and Hunter knew he should probably get up and go.
But he didn’t.
Instead, he figured since she had shared something personal with him, he should share a little something with her.
“Yeah, we’ve been a little concerned about Eli,” he began quietly, careful to keep his voice down so his son didn’t hear him. “He was a great baby, super easy going, but as he’s gotten older, I think the tension between his mom and me just made him withdraw. He doesn’t talk a lot, and he’s kind of a people-watcher. I’d love to see him be as chatty and as social as Kira.” Shaking his head, he continued, “Unfortun
ately, the way things are right now, I think it’s going to get worse before it gets better.”
Her hand was back on his arm. “You’re doing a good job, Hunter.”
The mirthless laugh was out before he could stop it. “That’s not what you were saying yesterday.”
Groaning, Violet hung her head. “I said I was sorry…”
Without realizing it, he placed his hand over hers. “I know, and I shouldn’t have said that. But…you know what I’m saying. It’s not easy, and it’s all uncharted territory for me. I have no idea how to be the only parent. I mean, Melissa wasn’t around much–less and less in the last several months–but she was there enough so I could handle working and taking care of Eli when I was home.”
“I know it’s none of my business, but…have you talked to her about this?”
Another sharp laugh. Turning his head and finding Violet’s face closer than he thought, he said, “Many times. And right now, I don’t even know where she is. I left about a hundred messages with her yesterday and she’s yet to return one.”
“Oh…um…wow. I don’t even know what to say to that.”
“Join the club.”
They fell into a companionable silence again, and Hunter knew he really should get going. He had promised Eli a trip to the park with his bicycle and there were still a lot of calls he needed to make and things to do.
Slowly, he stood and looked toward the hallway Katie had gone down and figured she was still on her call. Beside him, Violet stood as well.
“We need to get going,” he said. “Please tell Katie I’ll have Eli here tomorrow morning around 7:30.”
“Wow, that’s kind of early.”
He shrugged. “Yeah, it’s not great. I have to be at the station by eight, but it’s a normal shift tomorrow, so I’ll be here by five.”
The look on Violet’s face showed how she was dying to make a comment about how it was a long day and probably how it was a crappy way to raise a kid–by paying someone else to do it–and she’d be right. Unfortunately, this was the way things had to be for now.
And the foreseeable future.
Unless some sort of miracle happened, and the universe decided to stop crapping all over him.
Walking over to Eli, he encouraged him to say goodbye to Kira and Violet before scooping him up in his arms. It was crazy how he tended to carry his son, but he felt like they needed that connection sometimes.
Like now.
“Hey, I hope you guys have a good rest of your day,” Violet said brightly. “Any big plans?”
“We’re going to hit the park and ride our bike, right, Buddy?”
Eli nodded.
“That sounds like fun!” she gushed, gently poking Eli’s belly. “You’ll have to tell me about it tomorrow, okay?”
He nodded.
After another round of goodbyes, they were back in the truck and heading toward the park. The entire way there, Hunter would ask questions and his son would give him one or two-word responses. They were going to have to figure out a way to get him to talk more, but right now, he had no idea where to begin other than constantly talking with him.
And let’s face it, having a one-way conversation with a three-year-old was not easy.
But Hunter made it work and tried not to get too discouraged. They had a great time at the park and went food shopping on their way home. Once there, Hunter put on Paw Patrol for his son to watch while he made some calls.
Melissa’s parents didn’t know where she was and didn’t seem overly concerned. They lived in New Mexico now and had minimal contact with her in general. The few friends of hers he reached out to offered no insight either. There was a part of him that began to worry something awful had happened to her, but he refused to let that thought take hold.
He made it through making dinner, bathing Eli, reading him a story, and putting him to bed before he sat down and allowed himself to relax. Sitting in front of the TV, he did his best to get into a few episodes of Game of Thrones that he was seriously behind on watching. It was after ten, and he was contemplating going to bed when his phone rang.
Melissa.
He was quick to remind himself to stay calm and not go at her with all the rage he felt. Letting out a long breath, he answered the phone.
“Hey,” he said, his voice low and almost deadly calm.
“Hey.”
Hunter waited for her to say something–like apologize, explain herself, ask if Eli was okay–but she remained silent.
Guess it’s up to me to move this along…
“Where are you?”
She groaned. “Okay, look, let’s just start with the fact that I know you’re pissed off.”
“I’d say that’s accurate.”
“Yeah, I got that after listening to the six hundred messages you left.”
“What did you expect?” he demanded angrily, jumping to his feet. “You deserted Eli, Mel!”
“I told you you had to pick him up!”
“And I told you I couldn’t!”
“Well…neither could I!” she countered. “Obviously, you managed to find the time in your precious schedule to get him, so I don’t know what you’re annoyed about. It wasn’t like Katie left him on a street corner someplace.”
“Seriously? That’s not the point! We have a legal agreement, Mel! One that you had drawn up and agreed to, and yet you never freaking stick to it!” He stopped because the agreement was a moot point now. His call to his attorney this morning was going to see to that. “Just…where are you? Will you be around tomorrow?”
“No.”
No surprise there.
“When will you be home?”
She sighed loudly. “Hunter,” she began and then paused. “I’m not coming home.”
“Excuse me?”
“Yeah, so…I met someone. We’ve been dating for a little while and…I moved to Oregon with him.”
“Oregon?” he cried. “You moved across the damn country without telling anyone?” Hunter swore his head was going to explode. He began to pace as he sputtered and tried to get at least one coherent question past his lips, but he couldn’t quite make that happen.
“Hunt, come on. You and I both know things weren’t working. They haven’t for a long time. I told you years ago this wasn’t the life I wanted. I know you thought I’d change my mind, and I also know if I told you I was thinking of moving, you’d hound the crap out of me until you got your way.” Another sigh. “I couldn’t let you have your way on this. I was slowly dying in that town and hell, even I know I was a terrible mother to Eli. He doesn’t deserve that. If I stayed any longer, things were only going to get worse. Is that what you want?”
“None of this is what I want. Not one damn bit of it. What the hell am I supposed to tell Eli when he asks for you? How am I supposed to explain to him his mother cared more about herself than him, huh?”
And for some reason, Violet came to mind, and he realized how eerily similar their lives were before quickly pushing the thought aside.
“You’re a good man, Hunter, and an even better father. You’ll know exactly what to say to him so you won’t hurt him.”
“Be sure about this, Mel. Because if you aren’t coming home, then know I’m going to seek full custody of him. I’ll even file to terminate your parental rights. Is that what you want?”
“I already filed the paperwork myself. You should be getting papers from my lawyer next week.”
The room started to spin, and a pain pierced his heart as he sat down.
This was it.
She wasn’t bluffing.
In all the years they had been together, this had been their MO. They’d fight; they’d yell and scream. Then one of them would offer an ultimatum, and then they’d be okay.
Apparently, not anymore.
“Mel…don’t do this to him. Please.”
And for the first time in all the years they’d known each other, he heard genuine regret in her voice.
“I have to
. It’s not fair to him. To any of us. I’m sorry it had to happen this way, I really am. But…this is how it had to be. You and I? We’re too different. You always wanted to live the small town life and settle down with the wife, the kids, the dog, and never see the world. Well, I do! I need to!”
“There’s nothing wrong with what I want!”
Her laugh was sad. “For you, it’s not. But not everyone wants to live that life, Hunter. I’m not belittling you for it; I’m just saying I can’t live like that.”
Eyes closed, Hunter tried to grasp all that was happening. And even though he knew he shouldn’t be surprised, he was.
“Say something, Hunter. Please.”
His low laugh matched hers. “What would be the point? I think we’ve said it all.”
“Yeah,” she said quietly. “I guess you’re right.”
Later, there would be time to process all of this, but the logical part of his brain kicked in and he knew there were some practical matters to take care of.
“Um…Eli’s stuff. I know I have a lot of his things here, but I’m sure there are things at your place he’d like.”
“Oh, yeah. I left a key for you in the flowerpot on the front porch. You can go in and take whatever you want. I’ve got people coming in to clear the rest out next week, so…seriously, take anything you think you might want.”
“You didn’t take anything with you?”
“Just my clothes and a few personal items. I’m making a fresh start. Reinventing myself.”
It was almost enough to make him sick.
“Look, I need to go,” Melissa said carefully.
“Okay.”
“You’re going to be fine, Hunter. If anything, you’re going to be great. I’ve been holding you back. You and Eli. Go and be happy.”
Emotion he wasn’t expecting had him by the throat and all he could do was nod.
“Take care of yourself, Hunt.”
“You too.” The words were barely audible, and it wasn’t until the call disconnected that he realized tears were streaming down his face.
And he didn’t even try to stop them.
Four
Can't Help Falling in Love Page 4
