“And that’s another thing that’s an issue–the traveling. She does it a lot for her career and she’s going to want me to go with her.”
“So?”
Groaning, his head fell forward. “I’m just not someone who wants to travel.”
“That’s not a good reason, Hunter. Now don’t get me wrong, not everyone likes to travel, but I never heard of anyone being as openly hostile toward it as you. So what gives?”
Standing, he walked over and leaned against the kitchen counter. “Look at this place, Dad. I’m just an average guy making an average amount of money. On top of that, I’m a single parent. I don’t have the money to waste on trips and if I do happen to have a little extra income, I can think of better ways of spending it than on a trip.”
“So you’re just being practical, is that it?”
“Exactly. It would be damn irresponsible of me to waste my money like that. You taught us to always be mindful of our spending.”
“Oh, so now this is my fault?”
“That’s not what I’m saying…” He huffed with annoyance. “Dad, you have to admit, it was chaos after Mom died. We struggled, and everything was just…there was no order! Well, I don’t want that for Eli! I know you did the best you could, and the circumstances were different, but…”
“You feel the need to stay in control and have the control since you grew up in a chaotic house where everything was out of your control. Do I have that right?”
Now he felt like crap. “I…I never should have said anything. I didn’t mean to be disrespectful. I just…” He growled with frustration. “And I’m not that big of a control freak!”
“Says you.” Dominic stood and walked over until they were almost toe to toe. “You bought this house, did all the renovations on it, and furnished it without any help financially, right?”
He nodded.
“You own your truck? Have money in savings? Have money in your retirement fund?”
“Of course!”
“Son, you can have all the money in the world tucked away for your future, but if you’re not living your life, what’s the point? What is there to look forward to in your future? Make the memories with your son while he’s still young. You aren’t poor. You’re doing better financially than most people. I’m not saying you have to take a cruise around the world, but would it kill you to take Eli someplace just for the joy of it? Someplace not here in town?”
“Dad…”
Dominic held up his hands in defeat. “I’ve said all I’m going to say. We always teased how Dean was the cautious one, but you make him look like a daredevil comparatively.” Placing a hand on Hunter’s shoulder, he said, “Think about that.” Then he turned and called out to Eli that they were going to the carnival to have some real fun.
The jab was not lost on him.
There wasn’t much time for him to let anything his father said to really sink in because before he knew it, Violet was knocking on his door.
The urge to pull her into his arms, kiss her, and tell her everything was going to work out was so strong, but she stood there looking defiant and almost hostile–almost exactly like the very first time they met.
Not a good sign…
“Hey,” he said softly and motioned for her to come in.
Her posture was stiff, and she gave him a curt nod as she walked past him. It wasn’t until she was in the kitchen that she stopped and turned to face him. “Where’s Eli?” she asked, her tone much gentler than her expression.
“Oh, my dad took him to the carnival up at the high school. Why don’t you have a seat? I um…I made up some sandwiches for us.”
“You didn’t have to make anything.”
Yeah, definitely not a good sign…
He put the food on the table and took the seat opposite her. Neither paid any attention to the sandwiches. “About yesterday…”
Holding up her hand, she stopped him. “Look, Hunter, I think we can both agree we’re not ready for…you know…what we thought we were ready for.”
“I don’t think that’s quite it, but…”
“But what, Hunter?” she asked wearily. “Are we going to keep going in circles again? A relationship–a good relationship–requires us to be partners. Equals. And that means I’m not the only one making sacrifices. I was willing to sacrifice for you. For us. And for all your big talk about how much you wanted this, you weren’t willing to give up anything.”
“Violet, it’s not that simple.”
“It really is,” she said, her expression sad. “If you’re not willing to bend at all at this early stage of our relationship, where will be a year from now? Two years from now?” Pausing, she gave him a small smile. “You’re an amazing man and an even more amazing father. You’re structured because you have to be, but your unwillingness to bend? That’s just you making that choice.”
“I wish I could be different,” he murmured, staring down at his hands because it pained him to say the words out loud.
“Me too. But I’ve spent the better part of my life dealing with feelings of inadequacy, and I’m finally at a point in my life where I like who I am, and I’m proud of the things I’m doing and psyched about what’s to come. I want to grow my business, and while I don’t have to see the whole world, I want to see more than my backyard. And I can’t be with someone who refuses to grow with me. I’m sorry.”
When she stood, he couldn’t make himself move. Bending down, she kissed him on the cheek and lingered there for a moment.
“For what it’s worth, I don’t regret falling in love with you, Hunter. Thank you for letting me into your life and letting me be a part of yours and Eli’s world for a little while. I’ll never forget you.” She looked toward his son’s room. “It’s probably for the best that he’s not here. I don’t think I could have said goodbye to him without crying.”
She was killing him.
Standing, he walked up behind her, his hands gently resting on her shoulders. “Don’t go.” His voice was low and gruff and he barely recognized it.
Turning, Violet looked up at him, her eyes bright with unshed tears. “Give me a reason to stay, Hunter.”
He could tell her he loved her.
He could tell her he’d try to change.
But it was hard to change a lifetime of behavior, and he had a feeling his promises would be empty, and he’d end up hurting her in the long run. It was better to let her go so she could find someone who would travel the world with her and encourage her to fly and chase after her dreams.
Cupping her face in his hands, he kissed her. It wasn’t meant to seduce; there was only tenderness. The kind of kiss that said a million things that he couldn’t.
Namely, goodbye.
When he lifted his head, he tasted the salt of her tears and saw them streaming down her cheeks. Violet’s hand reached up and wiped at his lips. “Take care of yourself, Hunter Jones. Be happy.”
And then she was walking away, and Hunter had no idea if it was for the best or not, but he was ashamed of himself for simply letting this end. For someone whose job was being brave, he just proved he was anything but.
Seventeen
“Thank you so much, Frannie! I know this is going to be an amazing trip! Take care!” Taking her headset off, Violet stood and stretched. She’d been back in Nashville for two weeks and luckily had been incredibly busy. It looked like all the advertising and promo she’d been doing on social media was really starting to pay off. Her sales for this month alone were her highest ever, and with the networking she’d been doing, there wasn’t a doubt in her mind that she was going to double what she made last year. This was everything she’d dreamed of and yet…she was miserable.
There wasn’t anyone to talk to about her day, and it just seemed wrong to call up Katie for the sole purpose of bragging about herself.
Besides, they both knew she’d end up asking about Hunter and Eli just like she had every time she’d called her friend.
Which was almo
st every day.
Sure, she made a good play of making it seem like she wanted to make sure Katie was feeling well, that Brian was adjusting to life at home, and that the kids were both okay. Inevitably, Katie would ask her if she wanted to know how Hunter was, and because she was a glutton for punishment, she always said yes. Apparently, Brian had gone over to help Hunter with the deck, and they’d been hanging out more and more.
Which made getting her daily dose of torture much more convenient.
“Okay, no calling Katie. I’m sure I have emails to answer.”
And she did.
Most people who were looking for quotes on a vacation reached out via email first so she could work out the numbers for them before they hopped on the phone. It made the process much easier, but unfortunately, not everyone was tech-savvy, and occasionally she had inquiries where they forgot to leave their name or phone number. Emailing back and forth always felt impersonal, but sometimes it was the way things had to be.
Like now. This was the second time the same person had filled out the form on her website looking for recommendations for a romantic getaway. No dates were given, no specific locations.
After a couple of back-and-forth emails, she finally had a place to start. It felt like she’d already run a marathon, so when her phone rang, she was thankful for the distraction.
Katie’s face was smiling up at her, and Violet happily scooped up her phone. “Hey! How’s my favorite family doing today?”
“Girl, I am exhausted!”
“Oh, no! What’s going on?”
“My sweet Benjamin has turned into a bit of a terror. He’s got his days and nights mixed up and I swear he’s looking for you.”
Her smile grew. “Is it wrong how I love that so much?”
“Yes! I know I didn’t want to admit it while you were here, but you really were like the baby whisperer with him. Can you come back for a few days so Brian and I can sleep?”
“As tempting as that sounds, I think I’m going to pass,” she said with a small laugh.
“Wow, I guess we found there are limitations on this friendship.”
Violet knew she was teasing and figured she could tease too. “Well, I always knew this day would come. Of course, the fact that you haven’t booked a vacation with me since your honeymoon has made me wonder if you don’t trust me…”
“Ooo! That reminds me!” Katie excitedly interrupted. “Brian wants us to plan a trip!”
“Kate, I was just kidding! I know you guys have a ton of other things on your plate right now–like a newborn. We’re cool. Really.”
“No, I’m totally serious right now! He wants to take us to Disney!”
“Really? When?”
“Next month.”
“Oh, sweetie. No. Don’t do it.”
“What? Why?”
“It’s too much with an infant.”
“Rose will be with us to help out! Trust me, it’s going to be great! We want to go the end of next month since school starts the first week, we figured most people wouldn’t be taking vacations at the end. Lower crowds and maybe better deals. Plus, you know, military discount. Can you work something up for us?”
“Of course! You know I’d love to do that for you. Text me the dates and I’ll have some numbers for you by tomorrow.”
“You are the best!” she gushed. “So how’s business? I know you said it’s been busy, but I hope you’re taking some time for yourself and not overdoing it.”
“Kate, I work from home in my pajamas most days. Trust me, I’m not overdoing it.”
“Still, I worry about you.”
I’m glad someone does…
“I’m thinking of not doing daycare anymore.”
“What?!”
“Yeah, like I said, Ben’s just struggling with a schedule right now, and I’m exhausted. I seriously underestimated how much having a second child would affect our lives. And even with Brian being home, he’s got to go to work and needs his sleep too. I just think it’s best for us as a family for me to let the daycare go.”
“But…what about the families? I mean, I know some of them found other options, but…what about…you know…?”
“Hunter?”
Dammit. “Yeah. Have you talked to him about it? Could you maybe just handle having Eli?”
“It’s too soon. Believe me, I am agonizing over it. Brian’s over at Hunter’s now talking to him because I’m too much of a chicken to do it.”
“Obviously there are other daycares in town. I’m sure he’ll find something.”
“Yeah, I’m sure he will, but…with his schedule, it’s harder. His siblings will help out, but I hate it for Eli.”
Me too…
“Anyway, I won’t bore you with my tales of woe,” Katie said with a sigh. “I hear Kira getting up from her nap so I need to go. I’ll get those dates over to you, and I want you to give us a quote that includes everything you think we’ll enjoy. Brian says not to worry about the budget so go deluxe for us!”
“I’m already thinking of the perfect place! I’ll email you tomorrow.”
“Thank you! Talk to you later!”
When they hung up, Violet stared at her computer and decided she needed something to eat since she worked through lunch. Once she ate, she’d work on Katie’s trip and wished she had one planned for herself. She thought about the California trip she had considered back when she and Hunter first started dating. Maybe what she needed was a little time away to get out of this funk so she could stop thinking about and missing Hunter.
The more she thought about it, the more excited she got. A good road trip through some of the most beautiful cities and towns in California would be a great way to escape for a little while and to help her regroup a bit. The urge to start pulling up some websites immediately was strong, but her growling stomach was stronger.
“Fine! Food first and then I’m going to plan the most epic road trip California has ever seen!” she said as she walked to the kitchen to make herself a sandwich.
And tried to push away the thoughts of how she wished she had someone to take the epic road trip with her.
It was after midnight, and Hunter was still wide awake and staring at the ceiling.
Which had kind of become the norm for him lately.
He wasn’t sleeping well, he had no appetite, and he was working himself to death around the house while trying to still have plenty of quality time with his son. The deck was done, he built a jungle gym, and had done some major landscaping around the perimeter of the yard. And yet no matter how much he exhausted himself, whenever he climbed into bed at the end of the day, he couldn’t fall asleep.
It didn’t seem possible that one person could leave such a big hole in his life when she’d only been a part of it for such a short time. It didn’t seem logical or practical–two things that ruled his life–and yet…he missed Violet so damn much he felt like he could barely breathe. His whole life was turned upside down and in chaos and he couldn’t seem to control or fix any of it.
It was maddening.
When Brian had come by earlier and told him how Katie wasn’t sure she’d be doing daycare anymore, it had been just one more thing to add to the list of what was beyond his control. He still had another month of leave from the department, so he knew there was plenty of time for him to find a new daycare for Eli. His friend had worried that he’d be pissed or angry at Katie for changing her mind, but he wasn’t. Hell, he envied how she was doing what was best for her.
“I don’t even know what’s best for me,” he murmured into the darkness. “I thought I did, but…” Yawning, he rolled onto his side and punched his pillow. Not that it mattered. He couldn’t get comfortable anyway. With nothing left to do, he closed his eyes and prayed sleep would claim him.
The next thing he knew, Eli was climbing onto the bed.
“Daddy?” His little hands rested on Hunter’s arms and shook him. “Daddy, I’m hungry.”
“What the…?” Rolling ove
r, he noticed the room was bright, and when he looked at the bedside clock, it was after eight. Muttering a curse, he pulled Eli into his arms and hugged him. “Sorry, buddy. I didn’t mean to oversleep.”
Off in the distance, the doorbell rang, and Hunter’s head was spinning as he tried to wake himself up.
Placing Eli on the bed beside him, Hunter kicked off the blankets and stumbled out of the room. The sun streaming into the living room was almost blinding, and by the time he got to the front door, he swore he’d never see normally again.
“Dean?” Opening the door, he found his older brother standing there with a box from Henderson’s bakery and a tray with–what he hoped–was two cups of coffee. “What are you doing here?” Stepping aside, he motioned for his brother to come in.
“Uncle Dean!” Eli cried as he ran into the room. Luckily his brother was swift on his feet and managed to slide the box and drinks onto the kitchen table before Eli launched himself at him.
“Hey, little man! You want a cinnamon roll?” Dean asked.
“Yeah!” Eli immediately scrambled out of Dean’s arms and sat at the table before opening the box for himself.
Hunter slowly made his way into the kitchen and gladly accepted the cup his brother handed him. “Thanks.”
Dean poured Eli some juice before sitting down and grabbing a pastry for himself and then pushing the box toward Hunter. “You doing okay?”
“Yeah, why?”
“For starters? It looks like you just woke up.”
“I did just wake up.”
“Dude, you’re an early riser. So what gives?”
“I like to sleep in on the weekend. It’s no big deal.”
“It’s Tuesday,” Dean said flatly. “Try again.”
Hunter casually nodded toward his son, and thankfully his brother knew to change the subject until they could talk freely. In the meantime, they talked about all the work he’d done in the yard.
“Dad mentioned how this all started because you wanted a bigger deck. It’s amazing how these things can snowball, right?”
“Yeah, sure.” He took a sip of his coffee and it tasted better than anything had in a while.
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