“I can’t accept that.”Her mother was barely audible, but began to get louder as she continued.“There is a lot we can do. We can run away. We can contact the SDL.”
“Absolutely not. We will not call that league of molesters. What do you want? You want us to save her from drowning just so that she can be attacked by monsters?”
“You can’t know that they are all like that. All we know about them is what was reported by the Government. We know the Government can tell us anything they want to and they often do.”Alessa was a little surprised at the sarcasm in her mother’s voice.
“You’re right, but it isn’t a chance I am willing to take with her. There are worse things in this world than death, Cate.”
That was all Alessa could stand. She knocked loudly on the door. She heard shuffling on the other side of the door and it was a few long moments before her father stood before her.
"I know that I didn't tell you yesterday about my birthday wish. I thought I would come by today and tell you." Knocking on the door was an impulsive decision and she didn't have the faintest idea what she wanted for her birthday wish.
"Of course, Lessie, what is it?" Her father swept his arm around to invite her into their room. Alessa's parents' room always smelled faintly of the flowers her mother hand-picked every day and her father's cologne. Alessa took a deep breath of comfort and knew what she wanted to say.
"I don't want a present this year," she said simply. Alessa saw her mother eye her suspiciously with the tears in her eyes barely wiped away. "I have plenty of things. I want to spend this year enjoying what I have, like a normal person."
"Lessie, even normal people get presents on their birthday," her father was smiling.
"Then get me a pair of socks," Alessa beamed up at him. She could tell that he approved of her decision even if her mother didn't understand it.
"Socks it is, darling." Her father laughed as he squeezed her in a tight hug. "You know we love you, right Lessie? We love you more than anything in the world."
"I love you, too. I love both of you so much," Alessa buried her head in her father's chest after she spoke. When she lifted her head and glanced at her mother she saw that her hand was over her mouth and she turned her face away from Alessa when she caught her eye. Alessa felt tears prickle her eyes at her mother’s show of emotion. She backed out of the room pulling the door closed as she left.
She turned from her parents’room and rushed silently through the maze of hallways back into her own room. As soon as she shut the door behind her, she locked it and collapsed on her favorite oversized couch by the closet. She was overwhelmed by what she had just heard. There was her proof that her mother did love her. She even wanted Alessa to live past the sacrifice despite any personal consequences. She also knew that her father loved her dearly. He had just accepted her fate. It was all so bizarre. She expected that their ideologies would be the opposite. She never could have guessed that her mother was still so conflicted while her father had accepted defeat. Alessa had spent little time thinking of the emotions of those she loved after she was sacrificed. She had thought that they would be grateful for the blessings that the Sacrifice represented. She had believed that they accepted her fate easily. She began to reconsider her assumptions as she thought on what she had just witnessed. Her parents were obviously distraught. And when she thought about it, Khi didn’t seem terribly happy the last time they had discussed the topic. It seemed that not only was she upset about the impending Sacrifice, but also that her loved ones were going to be hurt as well. The thought tore through the deepest part of her heart. She didn’t want anyone to hurt. Not herself, not her parents, especially not Khi. Thinking of all of it made her feel tired and beaten.
As she thought through what she had just witnessed and all that it signified, a disturbing idea crept through her mind. Defeat. They had all accepted defeat. Because that is what this was. It was a complete and utter defeat. She was to lose her life. Her parents were to lose their daughter. Khi was to lose a friend. And the Empire, the Government, they were to gain prosperity. She was starting to realize that what she had been trained her whole life to believe was a lucky blessing was truly a malevolent curse in disguise.
Chapter 3-
“I’m going to the Carnival tomorrow.”Alessa announced to Khilyn. She had spent weeks acting as if everything was fine and she felt like she might explode. She was trying to help her parents to feel better, trying to save face for Khi, and mostly trying to put the whole idea of it all out of her head before she truly had a meltdown. She needed some fun and wanted to get as far away from the Manor as possible. Since that was almost never allowed, the best excuse she could muster was the annual Carnival that would be on the other side of the Capital District.
“Why tomorrow?”Khi asked. They were walking around the courtyard. Alessa was barefoot in the grass and enjoying the mild spring day. The bright greens of spring were evident all around them. Alessa was excited to see the colors of blooming flowers when they arrived. She refused to acknowledge that it would be the last time she saw flowers bloom and grow. As soon as the thought crept up she stuffed it back down into the place that she would deal with later.
“Because that’s what I picked. I need a day to decompress.”She said matter-of-factly.“And, maybe I don’t want the government to have time to shut the whole thing down just so I can go alone. I want to experience the crowds firsthand.”
“Okay, you can go tomorrow, but you’ll have to go with Camden. And I’m also not so sure that they won’t shut it down.”Khi cut his eyes at her as he spoke.
Alessa stopped and turned to Khi,“Why?! I thought we’d leave the two newbies here and you and I go to the Carnival.”
“Alec and I have a training to go to.”Khi answered simply.
“Why isn’t Camden going?”Alessa had her heart set on going to the Carnival the next day, but she was still uneasy around Camden. He hadn’t stopped his arrogant confidence or his snide remarks. And although the thought of spending the day alone with him excited her in a secret part of her heart, it also made her incredibly nervous.
“I am your Lead Guard and Alec will one day be Lead Guard. Camden is just extra muscle to have around this year.”
“In case someone decided to knock me off early?”Alessa responded dryly.
“Come on, Less, don’t be like that.”Khi looked sad. He had that look more and more often lately. Alessa quickly reminded herself that she had vowed not to make it harder on any of them.
“I’m only joking.”
“I think you should go to the Carnival with Cam. Maybe it would clear up some of this tension between you two.”Khi said carefully.
Alessa had a few ideas of what would clear up the tension between her and Camden, but she was fairly certain that none of them could be carried out at a carnival.
“But, you don’t trust him!”Alessa argued.
“What in the Empire are you talking about?”Khi responded, his face exuding honest confusion.
“Well, I just know you and I could tell that you didn’t trust him. From the first moment in the training room I knew it.”
“Alessa, I would trust Camden with my life. More importantly, I would trust him with yours. He’s a little unorthodox, but I don’t think that’s a bad thing. Especially with you wanting to run off on an illegal trip to the Carnival.”His tone was serious.
“But every time we’re around him, you’re careful and you use your‘I don’t trust you’voice, and…”She stopped suddenly, realizing.“But it’s not Cam. Every time you act like that, it’s not him, it’s Alec.”
Khi sighed dramatically.“You’re too perceptive for your own good sometimes, you know that, Less?”
“It’s true, though.”Alessa said quietly.
“It’s not that I don’t trust him, he’s just…very…”Khi struggled to continue,“he’s very‘by the book’, and he wouldn’t hesitate to tell the Minister anything that would play in his own favor, regardless of the con
sequences.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Your little outing tomorrow, for example. Alec cannot know about that or he would use it for his own advancement. But, Camden, he’s a good guy, Less. I know he can come across as sort of a pain, but when it comes down to what matters he’s good.”
“Maybe you’re right, Khi, but I’m not going to like you not being there.”
“I won’t like it either. But who knows, maybe you’ll have fun. You haven’t had enough fun in your life lately. To be quite honest I’m worried about you.”Khi looked at her in that way that pierced straight through her careful defenses.
“Oh Khi,”She grabbed him in a hug and smiled sadly when his strong arms almost lifted her straight off of her feet,“don’t worry about me, Khi. I’m going to be fine. Really, I’m better than I was and getting better than that every day.”
“Be real with me, Less.”
“I mean it. I’m scared, but I suppose that’s pretty normal. I am really okay. Promise.”She wanted to scream. She absolutely hated lying to Khi, but if it would protect him from an ounce of the hurt she heard in her parents’hushed argument that she had witnessed after her birthday she would walk to the end of the earth.
“Okay,”he gave her one last squeeze and then released her, careful to keep his hands on her arms until she was steady,“I will let Cam know what his assignment is for tomorrow. And I will tell him to behave himself. I want you to have a good time.”
“Oh I am sure it will be just fabulous.”She said sarcastically.
Khi smiled at her and turned to continue walking. They finished their afternoon walk in contented silence and, without speaking a word, sat down together on a bench to watch the sun set. Everything about being with Khilyn was comfortable and easy. Alessa was thankful to be able to have a person like him in her life. She nestled her head on his shoulder and he wrapped his arm around her. She loved how she could disappear under his protective embrace. He dropped a kiss on the top of her head and they shared the silence together as the sun sank beneath the Sacred Ocean.
Alessa awoke early the next day, the excitement of getting away from the Manor for a day coupled with the anxiety of spending the whole day with Camden was enough to rouse her before daybreak. She got ready to go slowly, taking extra time in the shower and applying her makeup more carefully than she typically did. She told herself it was to waste time. She stood in her closet and looked around it as if she were a lost child. She certainly had no shortage on clothes. She was always able to get anything she wanted. Alessa was disappointed on many occasions, however, when she had asked to go shopping and had been refused by the Government. Most of the time they would have anything she wanted shipped to the Manor. The few instances when she was allowed to go to a store to shop, the Government had closed the store for the day. In her mind that drained the activity of all of the fun, Alessa wanted to be surrounded by people in a busy shopping frenzy. As she thought about it, she was becoming increasingly aware that she truly did not get anything she could ever want from the Government like she had once believed.
Her thoughts were interrupted by a sharp knock on the door. Alessa was stunned, no one ever knocked on her door. If she was allowed anything, it was to live her life at her own pace. Alessa worried for a brief moment if there was some sort of emergency. That was the only logical explanation for the knocking. She threw on her pajamas and hurried across her room to throw open the door. Standing on the other side with an infuriating grin on his face was Camden.
“Just what do you think you’re doing?”Alessa demanded. She was still slightly thrown off track by the abrupt interruption. As she composed herself, she was becoming angry that he had not only injected himself into her morning ritual, but now he was seeing her in her pajamas while he looked perfectly styled in a simple fitted t-shirt and a pair of jeans.
“You aren’t ready yet? Man, why does everyone always let you do anything you want? The carnival is going to be packed before we even get there!”
Alessa had practically begged Khi to not tell the Government that she wanted to go to the carnival. When she had gone two years ago, they had only allowed it after shutting it down for the public for the day that she wanted to go. Alessa wanted to experience the crowd and the excitement of the carnival the way everyone else in the Empire did. Finally, after reminding Khi it was her last year, he agreed to not telling the Government.
Camden snapped his fingers in her face. She jerked back to reality and mustered the most hateful look she could and shot it directly at him.
“Oh no ma’am, don’t give me that. Today you’re normal, right? No special Sacrifice, no special person, just another face in the crowd going to the Carnival with your incredibly good-looking friend. Brother? Cousin? What am I?”
She couldn’t help but crack a smile. He was infuriating, but he was also as witty and beautiful and charming as anyone she had ever met.
“Friend. I think friend is fine.”
“Alright, less than five minutes in and I’ve got a smile, I told Khi this would be a breeze.”He tipped her chin with his finger and the simple touch sent a shock through her body. She pulled back from him slightly.
“I need just a couple more minutes to get dressed and I will be ready to go.”She hoped that he didn’t hear the slight shake in her voice or notice the flush she felt burning in her cheeks.
“Sure.”He said as he breezed past her and threw himself down on her favorite couch.
“Umm, exactly what do you think you’re doing?”Alessa could not believe the liberty he was taking. He was certainly playing this‘normal girl’thing to the extreme.
“I’m waiting on you to get dressed. Hop to it, Lessie, let’s go!”
Alessa wasn’t sure whether she should be indignant or amused so she showed neither as she sauntered past him into the closet and closed the door behind her. She hoped that her march had been reminiscent of Evan’s easy glide. She leaned heavily against the door. She wasn’t sure how she was going to handle an entire day with him. They hadn’t even made it past her room yet and he had her heart pounding out of her chest and her emotions so confused that she almost couldn’t see properly. She was equally attracted to and suspicious of him.
In an instant she had made her decision. This was her last year, her last time to the carnival, and potentially her last time to really have fun. She was going to have all the fun she could get, and that started with the incredibly beautiful man sitting on the couch just on the other side of her closet door. She put on a pair of white shorts that showed off most of her athletic legs along with a jewel blue wide necked long-sleeved t-shirt that she knew complimented her eyes perfectly. A pair of strappy flat sandals completed her look. She examined herself in the full-length mirror at the end of the closet. She shook out her long waves of hair and turned to the door. She felt beautiful. And when she felt beautiful she felt confident. And when she felt confident, she could take on anything or anyone in the world. That included the simple boy sitting on her couch.
“Alright Cam, let’s go.”She emphasized his name as she hadn’t used the shortened version of it before. She couldn’t be positive, but she thought that she saw his eyes widen the slightest bit when she walked out of the closet.
“Uhh, yeah, alright, here we go!”He collected himself quickly and walked with her to the door. He opened the door to her room with a flourish of his arm and pulled the door closed behind them as they walked out of the Manor together.
Alessa could not believe the number of people milling about at the Carnival. She was both stricken with fear and energized with excitement. As they drew nearer to the entrance, Camden placed his hand on the small of her back to help her navigate the crowd. A shiver of excitement shot through her just like when he touched her in her bedroom. She hoped that he hadn’t noticed the physical movement the shiver caused in her body.
“Cold?”He asked, annoyingly beautiful smirk in place.
“Oh, uhh, no, of course not.”There was no wa
y she could be cold. The spring air was warm around them threatening an early summer.
Camden removed his wallet from his pocket and pulled out some bills as they approached the front of the line.
“I’ll take an all-pass band, please.”He smiled at the girl behind the counter. Alessa could see the young girl blush and couldn’t quite identify the emotion that caused her heart rate to rise. Then, she realized what he said.
“Wait, just one?”Alessa looked at Camden, shocked.
“Normal, right?”Camden responded with a sickening gleam in his eye.
“Wait, but, I don’t have any money.”Alessa could not believe he was going to embarrass her like this. She was quickly becoming furious.
“Kidding! Kidding, kidding!”Camden winked at her and threw back his head in a rich belly laugh.“I’ll take two all-pass bands, please sweetheart.”
Alessa finally identified the emotion, it was jealousy. Camden’s flirting with the Carnival attendant was making her jealous. Alessa mentally kicked herself. She wasn’t even sure that she liked Camden. Sure he was delicious to look at, but he infuriated her and sparked her wariness. There was no way she was going to allow herself to be jealous.
Alessa stuck her arm out for her band and marched past Camden into the main thrill of the Carnival. She stopped just inside the entrance and looked around her. She saw hundreds of people all smiling and shouting exciting news to one another. There were lights everywhere and the energy was pulsing through her very body. This wasn’t like her Birthday Celebrations where the crowd sent energy up to her from the streets to her balcony. In those moments she felt that the energy reached her as a secondary. This energy was live and pulsating and using her as an instrument to travel around the Carnival. For the first time that she could remember Alessa was a part of the energy, a vessel for it, and she was ecstatic about it. She turned around and grabbed Camden by the arms.
The Fourth Ceremony: The Sacrifice Trilogy Page 4
