by Elisabeth
With the anger much more pronounced now, his features awakened like a caged animal.
“I don’t like him,” he had the audacity to say.
I snapped out of my shocked state.
“Get the hell off me, Dragos. What are you doing?”
“Did he touch you?”
“What?”
“I’m not fond of repeating myself, Neema. Answer my question!” he commanded.
“Dragos, I haven’t seen you in what? Over a decade? You broke my heart! Now, you want to come and ask me if another man has touched me? You don’t have a right. Move!” I tried to shove him, but his chest crushed me as he crouched down some more.
Now, he was all up in my face.
“Exactly. I wasn’t around. Anything I didn’t see I couldn’t control, but now, I’m here. I broke your heart. Yes, I can admit to that.” He confessed, and it shocked me that he didn’t deny it.
“So, get the hell off me. You lost your right to touch me.”
Dragos smiled so wickedly. I didn’t know this man. This one that had a type of darkness lurking in him that I had never known or seen before, but it wasn’t my business anymore. I didn’t care. The elevator dinged, and he backed off but not before he got all up in my face again, issuing a warning.
“If he touches you again or does something stupid like put your loose hair behind your ear while working, I’ll break his fingers, Nee.” He spat the nickname with such disgust. I was sure he hated it more than I did.
As he walked off, I was left there, stunned. What the hell was going on? Was I in a parallel universe or something?
Chapter 6
Dragos
Yes, I know how crazy I looked from the way Neema reacted, but this was who I was now. Well, I’d been like this for a long time, but there was never a need to be this way with her before. When I walked out, I needed to get some fresh air and also check my messages. Anne wanted the chance to drop off, pick up, and spend time with Amir while I was working more now. I gave her that, but it didn’t hurt to check up on them, just to make sure everything was going alright. I pulled my cell out and dialed her number.
“Anne?”
“Hey, son. How are you?” She sounded vibrant today. It put a smile on my face.
“I’m doing okay. I just wanted to check on you and make sure that Amir was having a good morning. Nothing set him off when you got him ready for daycare?”
“Besides Red thinking he was getting ready for school as well, everything was good. He did good today.” She lightly chuckled, causing me to do the same.
“I’m pleased. I was really worried about messing with his routine a little bit. Since it’s you, I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
“Now, stop calling me acting like I didn’t raise my own kids before,” Anne lightly scolded me.
I shook my head, and with a smile on my face, I made my way back into the building.
“Alright, sweetheart. If you say so, but dinner is on me tonight?”
She sighed.
“That’s fine as long as you don’t burn a damn thing.”
This time, I laughed out loud as I got on the elevator. Someone else slipped in with me, but I didn’t bother to pay them any mind.
“Now, you know I’ve never burned a thing, baby. Don’t be like that. You love my cooking,” I teased her.
Anne laughed. I loved making her laugh. All I ever wanted was for her to be happy. Even though she’d gone through a lot, I knew that being with her grandson, and me not treating her like Vertigo took over her, was something that would make her happy.
“You wish,” she joked. “Dragos, baby, I’ve got to go. You know how Jacqueline gets when I don’t go for my walks. She’s worse than you with her nagging.”
I snickered as I heard Jacqueline in the background snickering at Anne.
“Mrs. Demir, now you know you enjoy those walks with me. You get to see all the hot men in the neighborhood. Don’t you have a crush on a particular someone…”
My mother cleared her throat.
“No, I don’t.”
I chuckled.
“You’ve got a crush on someone, Ma?”
“I gotta go. Bye.”
My mother avoided my question by hanging up on me, and it made me laugh even harder.
****
While we waited for lunch, I got to look at the pictures. I was making sure I didn’t miss any angles that I discussed with everyone. I was what you would call a perfectionist when it came to making sure I got all of the angles and shots I truly wanted.
A ruckus caused me to look up to see what was going on. Oh, it was just Neema coming back in with Ian. I rolled my eyes as they handed out everyone’s lunch. Neema slammed an iced coffee with a greasy pizza in front of me. I arched my left eyebrow when I looked at her face; she had pursed her lips, giving me a whole attitude. I smirked as I took the iced coffee. I smiled as I sipped from it. I shut my eyes. Even with everything, she still remembered how I drank my coffee. I opened my eyes, smiling at her.
“Thank you,” I genuinely said.
I could tell that she was shocked. Perhaps, she expected me to be as rough as I had been in the elevator. I continued to smile as Ian decided to take this moment to come over.
“Oh my, did you touch my edits?” he asked.
I turned my eyes on him.
“And if I did? Please, tell me why as the photographer I can’t do such a thing?”
Ian’s expression matched Neema’s.
“No, no, that’s not what I meant. Of course, you want your work to be perfect. I just—” Ian didn’t bother finishing his sentence. He noticed that I had begun eating without saying a word back to whatever it was he was trying to explain.
Neema didn’t say anything. Instead, she subtly rolled her eyes at me as she walked away. I could tell that this was going to be an interesting project to work on together.
****
Neema
I should’ve known that working with Dragos was going to be a pain. I thought about telling him where he could stick his orders, but then I was reminded that I wanted this job. I’d worked hard to get to lead this one. Being both his lackey and supervising everything was torture. It wasn’t in the sense that he had me do everything but that we worked in such close proximity. Take for example, right that minute we were shooting out there on the roof of a very high building. Why? I could barely breathe when I got up there, but everyone else seemed to be fit for this. I rolled my eyes for the umpteenth time that Dragos slipped by me. I don’t even think he noticed that he was rubbing up on me.
Today, he was out of it. I didn’t know what was wrong, but I could tell something happened. He was antsy, ready to bite our heads off, yet at the same time, we didn’t mind working with him. Finally, it was time for a break. Like the gentleman he swore he was, Dragos helped bring the models back down to the parking lot. Then, they could get their rest, brush up on makeup, and come back later. I inhaled then exhaled as I walked close to the edge looking over. I was afraid of heights, but I was slowly trying to get over that. I wanted to be able to go as high as ever without panicking. I had solutions for the plane rides such as some liquid courage or sleeping pills, but this… This was something I had to overcome one day.
The moment I looked over the building, my eyes widened, my heart sped up, and I wanted to move away. Yet, I didn’t. Just five minutes Neema!
“Why are you torturing yourself?” he asked.
I already knew who it was without ever having to turn around. I would never forget his voice even if I wanted to.
“What do you mean?”
“Well,” Dragos began. “You’re afraid of heights. You remember when I took you hiking. You almost killed me because I wanted to bring you all the way up to the top of the mountain?”
I chuckled, feeling like my breathing and heart rate were coming back to normal.
“I was so angry with you, oh my God. Not even you speaking in Italian worked.”
Dragos laughed.
His laughter was so rich and so intense.
“But the Turkish did work.”
This time, I laughed harder.
“Umm, yeah, because you yelled at me in Turkish and scared the living daylights out of me.”
My breathing hitched again, not because I was afraid but due to the feel of Dragos’s fingers on my neck. My hands went to the railing; I shut my eyes basking in the sensation his touch brought my body.
“I missed you, Neema. I missed you so damn much that it hurt.” I could hear the yearning in his voice, and it pissed me off.
I opened my eyes, smacking his fingers away. I faced him, peering up at him.
“You don’t get to do that, Dragos.”
His brows furrowed.
“I don’t get to do what? Tell you that I missed you?”
I clenched my teeth in anger.
“Exactly. I didn’t miss the man that broke my heart and left me in a million pieces. My God, I was so in love with you, and you left me, so no, I don’t care how you felt.”
Dragos shrugged.
“It’s the truth, Neema. I won’t apologize for missing you.”
His pale blue eyes narrowed. He was getting upset, but I didn’t care. I rolled my eyes and cleared my throat.
“Let’s keep things professional, Mr. Demir. I would like nothing more but to work with you.”
Without so much as hearing what he had to say, I walked off.
Chapter 7
Dragos
Maybe those years ago I would’ve let Neema go because she was pissed off at me. But I wasn’t that timid Dragos anymore. Now, I initiated, I took, and I made it known if there was an issue. I stomped over to her. I reached her before she got to the door and lightly gripped her elbow.
“You want nothing more than to work with me, you say?” I repeated her words.
Neema faced me with anger dripping out of her face. She eyed me from head to toe, and I guessed I wasn’t the only one who changed. She had changed too. She was much more assertive now. She didn’t seem to be cowering to what I just said.
“You heard me loud and clear, Mr. Demir,” she said. “Now, get your hands off me.”
I smirked.
“Hand, hayatım, I’m only holding you with one hand. If you want both, then your wish is my command.” I pulled her into me and wrapped an arm around her waist.
Neema fought to get out of my hold, but it was as if she were rubbing her entire body on me. Was she fighting it or was she making it worse for the both of us? I was stubborn, maybe even a bit crazy, but one thing that I wasn’t was a liar. I couldn’t lie or pretend that I didn’t still love her. She could see it in my eyes, and I could see it in hers, but she wanted to pretend. She wanted to see me as a nuisance or as some invalid. She didn’t understand that the more she behaved like she didn’t see me, the more I wanted to be seen, and the more I wanted to be in her face.
Beneath the anger and love she still harbored for me, I saw it loud and clear.
“Get away from me,” Neema gritted through her teeth. “You have no right to touch me like this!”
Instead of heeding her words, I stared at her, scrutinizing the way she glared at me. I no longer just looked at her. I now wanted to see her soul that she kept hidden from me. I wanted to see the fracture that I caused.
“I see you, hayatım,” I said to her.
She rolled her eyes at me.
“You’re obviously not blind so,” she replied.
I chuckled, even though this was a serious moment.
“No.” I shook my head. “No, my dear, lovely angel. I see the hurt. I know how much I hurt you, and I want to ease the pain. I want to fi—. No, I want to mend your heart and your soul. Every broken word and broken promise that came out of my mouth, let me repair them,” I said with conviction in my voice. I was sure the old me felt it too.
Neema’s eyes widened at my declaration. The shallow breaths she took, the way she licked her lips, and the way she held onto me without even realizing it made me see how much I affected her. We stood there, watching each other for minutes, not caring that the world was moving on without us. We didn’t bother to tell the world that we would catch up once we stopped getting lost in each other. That should’ve been what we did next, but instead, we made it worse, or rather, I did.
I forgot. Oh, hell, did I ever forget how she felt as I leaned in, pulling her for a kiss that would end both of us? I should’ve left her alone. I shouldn’t have provoked her. By the way she kissed me back, I knew I had jumped off that cliff again. The conviction in her kiss. The way that she sighed as I continued to kiss her. The feel of her fingers inching up my biceps was…euphoric. But then, Neema ripped her lips from mine. This time, I didn’t hold on to her as she backed up out of my arms with a force that had her almost tripping. She stood her ground as she glared at me. If only looks could kill. She bared her teeth at me pointing at me with that slender forefinger of hers.
“How dare you? Don’t you ever do that again!” she yelled, not caring who was around. “Let me tell you something, I will never need you for anything. You will never mend my damaged heart. You don’t deserve my soul, nor any piece that I have left of my heart. I don’t need your promises, words, or kisses. They don’t affect me anymore! You mean nothing to me!”
She took deep breaths as her chest moved up and down so quickly. She narrowed her eyes at me and turned, but she was too late. I saw the tear that slipped out of her eye. The lone tear that probably initiated more. She walked away, giving me her back like I did all those years ago. I finally understood how hard it was for her to see me, the love of her life, walk away as if she didn’t matter to me, but she was wrong. I would never let her go again.
****
Neema
Dragos didn’t deserve me. He didn’t deserve my tears, either. Hadn’t I cried enough when it came to him? Why did he think that this was okay?
I ran down those stairs instead of taking the elevator down like a sane person would. I don’t know why I did that because I heard his heavy footsteps as they followed me. I didn’t stop, knowing that I was looking ridiculous as I ran for my life away from him. I couldn’t be around him. He wasn’t good for me, not for my heart, not for my soul, but he was really trying to barge into the tranquility that I found for myself. I tried to keep going down another flight of stairs, but he stopped me. I froze on the spot when I felt his hand around my upper arm.
“Neema, please!” Dragos yelled out.
I should’ve cared that other people could probably hear him, but so many emotions rushed back in and held me captive. It made me feel once more like opening up a faucet so harsh with the water coming out with the power of a fire truck hose instead of the calmness of a still river. I took a deep breath in and tried to take another one out, but it was shaky.
“No,” I answered Dragos. I didn’t want to feel ever again. I didn’t want him to subject me to such pain again.
We were in a stairwell all by ourselves and with nowhere to run because he held me back. All that I could do was turn to face him with the anger, hurt, and frustration. Most of all, I faced him with the broken promises that could never be fixed. I glared at my ex-fiancée, the only man who truly had my heart in his hands. The only one allowed to make me smile and cry tears of joy as I laughed at his crazy antics. The only one who could make me mad yet not mad enough to walk away from him as he did me on that night. I felt like that same Neema left to mend her own heart. I didn’t do a great job at it, but I tried. Dammit! I did my best to never disappoint myself, but right now, wasn’t I doing just that by letting this man take over all my senses once more? I shouldn’t have run from him. I should’ve stomped my foot or kicked him in the balls, but I couldn’t hurt him like he hurt me. What did that say about me?
“I shouldn’t have left…” Dragos’s voice took over and paused my thoughts.
I blinked.
“Excuse me?” I said, still not sure that he said that to me.
He stared at m
e for a moment, not speaking. Then, he opened up his mouth again.
“I should’ve never left you. I should’ve fought for you like a man would’ve. I should’ve proved to you what it means to be mine. I didn’t, and for that, I will forever be sorry to you. I will forever want your forgiveness, something I have never deserved. You, Neema, were my world and now, you are my whole world. When I left, I didn’t take my heart with me. I couldn’t because there was no one else in this world who could ever have it. It was yours and will always be yours. I can’t go on like this without looking at your beautiful face and telling you the things that I wished I told you. So many times, I found myself calling you, but then as soon as you’d pick up, I’d hang up.” He looked down, ashamed. Yet, my anger rose.
I gritted my teeth, trying my best not to scream out at him, but I couldn’t hold it in.
“You think I will ever forgive you, Dragos? You don’t deserve me, and you never will. There is nothing in this world that you could ever say to me that will make me forgive you for the way that you left me.” I tried to yank my arm out of his hold, but he resisted. “You think you can just say something like that to me, and I’ll what? Fall to my knees, open my arms up to you and take you back?”
After that question, Dragos let my arm go. He yanked his hair out of the ponytail and ran his fingers through it. He turned his back on me. I could see his shoulders moving up and then down.
“It was the only way,” Dragos said softly.
“Whatever,” I replied, rolling my eyes. I was ready to leave, but the deep growl that seemed to come from the pit of his gut stopped me.
Dragos in all of his beautiful, sexy, and angry mess turned towards me. He stalked up to me, leaning in.
“I couldn’t risk your life, so I traded my love for your life. You don’t get it. You think anybody would’ve just been able to take me away from you? There was nothing in this world that would’ve gotten me out of your arms, except if I wanted to protect you. To shield you from the ways of my family, that was what I had to do. You, Neema, will always be my main priority. Nothing and no one can ever threaten you and think I’ll forget. Nothing, you hear me hayatım? Hmm!” he said, but I was numb.
