“Be careful, Em. Don’t let him pull you in,” Zach’s tone was soft and caring. I needed him…wanted him. I stared out at Grant and Ryan by their fire.
“I’m not. Have fun tonight,” I said.
“Do you want me to text you when we get in?”
“Sure. If I don’t text back then I’m asleep. I love you.”
“And I love you. Sleep tight.”
I disconnected the call, looked out at the fire, went inside and fell on my bed. I hated summer.
Chapter 2—Lesson learned
The next morning the mist sprayed across my face as I ran up the beach. I’d slept later than I wanted. Running was more enjoyable when there weren’t a lot of tourists out. Visitors who had been here before were usually up early combing the beach for sand dollars and shells. I was protective of sand dollars. Tourists didn’t seem to understand that they were alive, though the whiter, sun-bleached ones were dead, the brown ones with hair were still alive and should be left alone. I never found the courage to tell people not to touch them, but as I’d run past, I’d keep my eye on my little friends. It only took a moment for them to get buried in the sand when a single wave would wash ashore.
I hadn’t run since we’d gotten here, and I seemed more winded than usual. Thoughts of Zach and Jaycee sitting around a fire together on a beach pushed me to run faster. I knew Jaycee, she would be smooth in her approach…laughing casually as she touched his arm and leaned into him. He wouldn’t see it coming. He’d be naïve. I switched songs on my MP3, needing to get my mind off of it. His text last night came at 1:15—too late for my liking. I didn’t text back.
The sun was up, and when I looked around, I realized I’d run farther than usual. I stopped abruptly nearly slamming into another runner coming from behind.
“Excuse me. I’m sorry,” I said stepping around.
He smiled. “I’m sorry too. I was following too close. You set a good pace.”
He was dark haired, maybe Hispanic, his hair cut short…slight accent. Pretty hot.
“Thanks. Have a good run.”
Before I could start again, he rotated my way. “I’m headin back too. May I join you?”
I shrugged. “Sure. If you can keep up.” I started running, probably faster than normal, and he stayed close.
“So. Do you run for exercise or do you compete?”
“Both.” This is why I liked running alone. No talking. Kids were building a sand castle as we moved past.
“You’re good. Good form.”
I crossed my eyes and didn’t respond. We jogged in silence for a bit, then I saw Grant sitting in his same chair as last night.
“What’s your name?” I quickly asked.
“Gabe. And yours?”
“Emma.” I began to slow as Grant stood eyeing us in his Cubs baseball cap, my favorite hat that he wore.
“Who’s your friend?” Grant growled.
“Gabe…Grant” I pointed from guy to guy. “Grant…Gabe.”
“What’s up?” Gabe nodded.
Grant didn’t return the acknowledgement…his eyes set on me. I think he was angry.
I twisted back around. “This is where I stop. Thanks for the run. We’ll be here tonight with a fire if you want to join us,” I invited.
“Sounds good. I’ll be here.” His eyes were darker than most but sparkled then he jogged in the opposite direction. I think he felt the tension.
Grant grabbed my arm. “What are you doing?”
Definitely angry. “Running.”
His hand tightened on my bicep. “You don’t know that guy. You’re being stupid.”
I jerked away. “Oh my God. Whatever. You didn’t know any of the girls you scrogged for the past three years. What’s the difference?” I walked toward the house.
“Emma. It’s different. I know you don’t want to hear that. You think it’s some bullshit answer…but it’s true.”
Who was he kidding? I’d never shown any interest in one guy while in Cannon, and I had zero interest in Gabe, but that was the point. He’d scrogged enough girls I couldn’t have kept track if I wanted. Each summer breaking my heart, girl after girl after girl, never looking my way…until Zach and I got together. Now, getting me was his obsession.
“You don’t want that guy. Why act like you do? You have a freakin…husband back home so why are you doing it? To piss me off?” His face was pained and that hurt me. I loved Grant more than he would ever know.
“You don’t know anything,” I fumed. “You don’t know how bad it hurt seeing you every summer kissing girls…walking the beach with them…holding hands. You never gave me a second look.” My heart ached just thinking about it.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” His hand ran up my arm.
I pursed my lips and flinched away.
“OK. I knew but I didn’t know…I never realized what I was feeling. I knew what you were feeling. But you’re brother would have killed me. And one summer, I was with Chloe.”
I propped my hands on my hips as his excuses flew. “You cheated on Chloe.”
“I wouldn’t cheat on you,” he whispered.
I shrugged. “I gotta shower,” I said without looking at him and jogged toward the house. Three altercations in twenty-four hours…the summer had only begun.
After a hot shower, I dressed and found my phone hidden in my underwear drawer. I curled up on my bed. Zach had texted twice. They were headed home. I think I understood why Mom and Dad didn’t allow texting. I lived for it at this moment…spent less time with my family and was more withdrawn…all the while waiting for a few little words over the phone. I texted back then my eyes closed.
“Honey.”
I heard mom’s voice. “Yeah?”
“It’s almost dinner time. Are you feeling OK? You’ve slept for a while.” She sat on my bed and rubbed my forehead.
“I feel fine, Mom. I got up early and ran.”
She walked across the room and opened my blinds. The sun wasn’t quite gone but close. “You’re sleeping a lot…not eating…” She shook her head. “You’re depressed.
I sighed. “You’re a realtor mom…not a psychiatrist.” Though I couldn’t argue. I really had no appetite. It wasn’t intentional.
“Get up! Go and hang out with your brother. That’s an order.”
I laid the pillow over my head and applied pressure. “I will!” I screamed through the pillow.
“Good,” she said and I heard the door close.
I thought about asking her if I could drive to Seaside tomorrow. It was only ten miles and the small Seaside Aquarium had live baby seals you could feed. Tossing the tiny dead fish over the ledge was always fun especially if the seals barked for your attention. We used to go up regularly but hadn’t been in awhile. I didn’t mind going on my own. Maybe Ryan would go.
I didn’t head down to the beach until after eight and the mood was set. Grant and Ryan were in their chairs…fire built…sweatshirts on. The wind was chilly.
“I’m going to need a chair, if I’m going to hang out with you two,” I suggested.
Grant’s eyes were the only pair that found me and he didn’t smile, but he slid his feet off the bottom of his chair. I squatted and reluctantly sat.
“No action tonight?” I asked.
“The night is still young,” Ryan said. “Go away. You’ll hurt our chances.”
“Well. I owe Ali at least that. I’ll stay.”
“Suit yourself.”
I glared at my brother. “What is your problem?” Something was wrong. I could tell.
He bolted out of his chair with a scowl and strolled toward the water. My expression was one of shock.
“It’s not you,” Grant said quietly.
I rotated around till my confused eyes landed on him. “What’s wrong?”
He hesitated rubbing his chin. “When we’re in Cannon, we can be whoever we want. It’s fun. We’ll never see these people again. He never leaves anyone back home so this is new to him. He wan
ts to play.”
“Then he should call her and break up with her.”
“We’ve talked about that.”
I shook my head with the thought of that. It would kill Ali. She loved him. My heart ached for her.
“Em. Just let him work through it. Don’t say anything.”
“I won’t. But help him. Help him do the right thing,” I pled worried about my brother.
He shook my shoulders. “I didn’t always do the right thing either, you reminded me of that earlier. We are eighteen. We’re supposed to screw up.” His touch always felt good…too good. I pulled away.
“That doesn’t mean you have to be a man-whore,” I chuckled.
“Good evening, Emma.”
Wow. Gabe had returned regardless of Grant’s glares. I silently wished I hadn’t invited him now. A Hispanic girl with beautiful brown hair was with him.
“Hi, Gabe.”
“This is my sister, Andrea,” he said. She smiled and waved. He tossed a blanket down, and Andrea laid it out across the sand and they sat.
“Where are y’all from?” Grant asked.
“Albuquerque,” Gabe answered.
“What brings you here?”
He widened his eyes. “A week of family fun or something like that. We’re staying at a house down the beach. It’s colder than we expected.”
Typical. It was always colder than people expected. Ryan was back from his walk…his expression still strained. I introduced our visitors.
The night grew cooler as the clouds rolled away from the ocean. I stood and stretched my legs. Gabe followed.
“You leaving?” he asked in his Hispanic accent.
I shrugged and felt Grant’s eyes bore into my side. “Just stretching.”
“Would you like to go for a walk?”
“Sure.”
Ryan slid his hands behind his head and glowered at me. “Stay within my sight.”
I nodded and felt bad because I had zero intention of even touching this guy. But to watch Grant’s expression as I walked away with some meaningless guy who I’d just met was absolutely priceless.
“Who was that?” Gabe asked.
“My brother.”
“How old are you?”
“Sixteen. You?” Not that I cared.
“Nineteen.”
“You in college?” I cordially asked.
It was dark, but I saw him shake his head. “This summer I’m working construction. Took this week off to spend with my family. Not sure what I want to do.”
OK. Instant turn off…not interested in college. I was ready to turn around. Two people were walking toward us.
“Emma?”
I glanced toward the voice. “Austin!” I hurried toward Austin jumping into his arms. “What are you doing? Where have you been?” He smelled amazing…
Up in his arms and my feet dangling, he whispered into my hair, “Who is this?” Oops. I forgot about Gabe. Austin lowered me till my feet touched the ground.
“Hi, Seth.”
“Hey Emma. Austin said you were growing up…wow.”
I was glad it was dark because I felt the blood rush to my cheeks. Why had Austin said that?
Gabe cleared his throat. “Oh. Sorry. Austin, this is Gabe. We just met up by the fire,” I explained.
Austin draped his arm over my shoulder. “Sweet. Well, let’s go see everybody.” I’m not sure force was the right word, but it was something like that as he gently pushed me back toward the fire. Gabe followed and I think I heard him sigh.
“Look who I found straggling around on the beach,” I said.
“Heeey!” Ryan rose to his feet and pounded his chest against Austin’s then Seth’s. “What’s up? Where have you guys been?”
Grant smiled giving Austin a one-armed hug and ignored his brother, Seth.
“Oh, man. I’d rather have been here. Seth and a couple of guys moved out of the dorms and into a house. They took possession of it at the end of May and we’ve been working on it.”
Gabe sat next to his sister with a frustrated expression.
“I am dreading the dorms,” Grant said.
Austin shook his head. “They aren’t bad for the first year…then get out. You get to meet people. Join my frat.”
“We couldn’t afford your frat!” Ryan joked.
The guys laughed and it seemed right with Austin here. I wondered about the day we had planned to spend together before Zach and I got back together. Austin and I had never been more than friends, even though I had dreamed about more. But dreamed about in a different way than Grant. Grant was that crush that didn’t love me back until now. Austin? Austin was more like a celebrity crush who I knew I didn’t stand a chance with. We could still spend the day together. I think.
Gabe surrendered a little before midnight and he and his sister left. After I yawned repeatedly, I decided to go in. I smiled when Grant stood.
“I’ll walk you up. I’m going in too.”
Whatever. He was so not going in. “OK.”
“See you tomorrow, Em,” Austin said.
I ran around the fire and hugged him one last time. “Good seeing you.”
“You too.”
Grant waited till I said my goodbyes and we walked together though, we hadn’t taken ten steps before he started.
“Emma, please don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“Go off with some guy. I know I sound like a broken record or some jealous boyfriend but you don’t seem to grasp the danger.” He wasn’t angry, but he was something.
I don’t think he understood that I had no intention of doing anything with one of these guys. “I’m just playing around.” I wondered if he knew it was a lame attempt to make him jealous.
“I know. Don’t!”
He was angrier than I realized. I stayed quiet. Hypocrite.
“You could get hurt.”
“Grant. I…am…not…going…to …do …anything…stupid.” I intentionally spoke slow and robotic, laughing toward the end when he grabbed my shoulders and threw me down in the sand. I landed hard jarring my body and within a short second he had me pinned. Neither words nor air were anywhere to be found. Tears stung my eyes, not because he hurt me, but because his reaction shocked me. The moon gave off enough light that I could see him and regret pained across his face.
“This is all it takes and you’re down. You weigh eighty pounds. Please, get my point.”
I felt his breath across my face and I shivered. “Point taken. But we’re on a public beach. My house is right there,” I panted. We weren’t fifty yards from our home.
“Fine. Yell for help.” His mouth was inches from mine and I found it hard to breathe. His warm breath blew over my face but not in a friendly way…more like a predatory way. My body trembled from the cold, but it was the unfamiliarity of his arms that made me press my palms to his chest.
“Stop,” I mumbled.
He pulled back. “Don’t you see? That’s all it would take.”
“Thank you for the lesson,” I winced.
“I hurt you?”
I think he was asking. I shook my head. “No.”
“Then what?”
He already knew that I loved him but being this close to him was gut wrenching. I’m sure he assumed my tears were from his actions but they weren’t. Suddenly, he moistened his lips and moved toward me.
“Stop. Get off,” I gritted through clenched teeth. He lifted his body quickly off but grabbed my hand.
“Em, don’t go.”
“I hate you,” I stalked off not looking back.
The clock read 1:20 when I got to my room. I tore my clothes off throwing them in the corner and slid on my flannel pajamas. I searched frantically for my phone not remembering where I’d put it. The sweatshirt I’d worn earlier was draped over a chair and I found it in the pocket. My whole body trembled, and I was glad I only had to hit the green call button. He was the only number I’d ever called on this phone.
It ran
g four times.
“Hey, baby.”
He was sleeping and his voice was hoarse.
“Hi. Sorry to be calling so late.” Damn. Tears stung my eyes.
He cleared his throat. “Don’t be sorry. You know you can call me anytime. Late night?”
Taking a deep breath in, I tried to relax, afraid he’d hear the anger…the fear in my voice. “Kind of. Austin finally made it.” I attempted to sound strong.
“If that’s such a good thing, why do you sound upset?”
“Zach…” I whispered. I totally sucked. No Golden Globe for me.
“What’s wrong?”
I hated the concern in his tone. It made me sick. I didn’t deserve it…him.
“Em. Talk to me.”
“I feel so weak. I’m not strong like you. I can’t do this.”
“Can’t do what?”
“Be away from each other. You deserve someone who can be strong.”
He chuckled. “You are strong. It’s hard for me too. I’ve dozed on and off over the past three hours, playing Xbox, watching the clock, hoping for a call.”
I smiled and remained quiet.
“Emma?”
“Huh?”
He sighed. “You’re not telling me something.”
Could I be a more open book? “He tried to kiss me,” I whispered. Silence filled the distance between us and I was sorry I’d said it.
“Austin?”
That would never happen. “No. Grant.”
“Son of a bitch!” He hollered and I pulled the phone away from my ear. “Why? When?”
The words flowed fast…“There was this guy, Gabe, who asked if I wanted to walk up the beach. I’d met him earlier in the day when I was running and we took a walk and I ran into Austin and everything was fine. But Grant was pissed because I didn’t know the guy, and he was trying to make a point and show me that it wasn’t OK and that I could get hurt.” I breathed when I paused. “It’s OK for them to go off with girls and I can’t even talk to a guy. Not that I want to talk to a guy because I don’t. But it’s the principle of it.” I heard him moving around, making noise. “What are you doing?”
Finally...One Summer (Just One of the Guys) Page 2
