by Jahquel J.
“Hey,” I heard Marisol’s voice on the other end of the line. With everything that had been going on, I had forgot all about her and when she told me that she was pregnant. Marisol wasn’t a priority to me the moment she dropped everything that to do with my nieces because our personal situation.
“What’s good?”
“We really need to talk. I know you wasn’t trying to hear me before, but I think we need to put our personal feelings aside and talk about this.”
“Oh shit, you know how to put your personal feelings aside?” I chuckled as I grabbed a white tee from the dresser in my closet.
“I admit, it was fucked up of me to forget all about the girls. They had nothing to do with it and I forgot about them thinking about myself. I’m sorry for that.”
“Yeah…” I allowed my voice to trail off. She wanted to apologize about something that she should have never did.
“Yeah?” She mocked.
“What’s up? What we need to talk about?”
“Our baby that we created, Priest. I’m scared. I don’t want to bring another baby into this world alone like I did with my boys. You know how I feel about that. We don’t have to be together, but we do need to come together for this baby.”
“You decided that you’re keeping it?”
“Yes. It’s a blessing.”
I laughed. “Yeah, a blessing to your pockets.”
“Seriously? I tried to be the bigger person and you’re being a dick,” she complained like I gave a fuck.
“Yo, kill all that shit. I was the bigger person and you fucked me over. Marisol, ain’t shit we need to talk about until that baby is born. On the real, stop fucking calling me.”
“You got that fat bitch in your ear and now you think you’re too good for me. Just because she doesn’t scrub toilets doesn’t make her better than me,” she sobbed.
I felt like shit when she said it. Justice wasn’t better than her and I never acted that way. “Mari, come by G’s crib tonight and we’ll talk… ight?”
She sniffled a bit before she spoke. “Okay,” she said and ended the call.
I wiped my hand down my face before tossing my phone on the bed so I could continue grabbing some clothes. I had planned to be there for three days tops, nothing more.
We piled into the car and pulled out of the driveway. “I’m excited to be staying at uncle G’s house… he lets me stay up later than you,” Love boasted as she typed away at her cellphone.
“You forget he’s staying there too?” Kiss added.
“I’m just excited to taste some of Marisol’s food. I’ve missed her food. Kiss is always tired, and her feet hurt… pregnant head ass,” Kiki laughed.
“Yo, watch your mouth,” I warned her while staring through the rearview mirror. “Where you learn that shit from anyway?”
“Friends at school. Chill, Ro,” she tried to wave it off until she saw my expression through the mirror. “Sorry,” she made sure to add.
“Suppose to only say it at school,” Love muttered under her breath as she looked at her younger sister. I shook my head and headed back to Ghost’s crib with the girls.
Marisol never showed up to the crib that night and I wasn’t surprised. She could spit all that wild shit over the phone, but couldn’t face me in person. Ghost had said she took a few days because she wasn’t feeling well. Free had been the one cooking, cleaning and running her business. Ghost needed to hurry up and put a ring on her finger. That woman was the definition of a boss ass woman. She took control of making sure that Rain was taken care of along with her kids. She even stepped in when it came to making sure Kiss, Love and Kiki were good too. I appreciated the shit out of her. Ghost had been in the streets trying to find out where Zeek or Zoe was hiding. When he came home at night that nigga looked like a fucking zombie. Staten was on a war path shooting anyone who had a Z in their name.
I walked through the door and kicked my boots off. A nigga was hungry, and I had ran to all the traps on the south side of Staten Island. Kiss had a doctor’s appointment that I missed, so I was feeling fucked up about that. When I walked into the kitchen, Justice was cutting up tomatoes while helping Kiss with her homework. When she looked up and noticed me, she smiled.
“Hey, you, how are you?” she asked as she continued to cut up the tomatoes. “Kiss called me over to help her with some homework and she hadn’t ate yet.”
“She’s good. I can order her something to eat. You done with this?” I asked Kiss and she nodded her head yes.
“Cool, how did the appointment go?”
“He’s worried about the swelling in my feet. I need to stay off my feet as much as possible,” she told me.
“Go upstairs to your room and I’ll holla at you when I’m done.”
She gathered her books and laptop and waddled upstairs to the bedroom. Justice was staring a hole into the side of my cheek. “Why you gotta act like that with me?”
“What you mean?” I went into the fridge and grabbed some leftovers from yesterday.”
“She doesn’t want that. Her cravings are going wild and she wants some pasta,” she snatched the container out my hand and stared up at me. “Why are you treating me like this?”
“Jus, I’m not in the mood,” I replied. “You gonna make the pasta, cool, but we don’t need to talk about shit.”
What the fuck was up with the women in my life? They got to choose what they wanted to do without filling me in and then got the nerve to be pissed when I got on some fuck you shit.
“Why are you acting like that?”
“Do you know how hard it is to stand here without ripping your fucking clothes off and fucking you in this kitchen? Jus, you got my fucking heart all fucked up and you want to sit here and talk about the shit? Nah, I’d rather keep my distance from you and move on with my life.”
“I miss you,” she whispered. “So fucking much, Priest. I think about you all the time,” she revealed.
“Then why the fuck are you with homie? You with homie and pregnant, explain that shit to me.”
“I lost the baby,” she looked away and started messing with a dish rag on the counter. Nobody had mentioned it to me, so I didn’t know.
“I’m sorry to hear that. How you feeling about it?”
“Honestly?”
“Yeah.”
“Relieved, sad and mad. I’m relieved because Todd hasn’t changed, but I’m dealing with it, sad because I wanted my baby more than anything and mad because my body won’t carry a baby to term. There’s something wrong with me,” she quickly wiped away a tear as we stood close to each other in the middle of the kitchen. “He doesn’t even know I lost the baby,” she revealed.
I grabbed hold of her and held her like I knew she needed. Her fuck nigga at home would never and I knew she needed one of my hugs. “Am I interrupting something?” I heard Marisol’s voice behind us and sighed.
“No,” Justice wiped her tears and moved away from me. “We’re good,” she added and then went back to cutting the tomatoes.
“What’s good, Marisol?” I asked as I leaned on the counter. She wanted to pop up when the shit was of convenience for her. I was sick of moving on her time. Her ass would pop up when me and Justice was having a moment.
“We need to talk about this baby,” she blurted, and Justice gasped. Marisol held this smirk on her face as she stared at me. My attention was on Justice and the hurt that was etched all over her face. She had just told me that she lost her baby and here Marisol was carrying a baby.
“Go into G’s office, I’m coming,” I told her. She sucked her teeth and left the kitchen. I turned my attention to Justice, and she held her hand up before I could say anything.
“Please,” her voice cracked. “Just go deal with her,” she said with disgust dripping from her voice.
I left the kitchen and went into G’s office where I found Marisol with a duster going over his desk. “I take some time off and the house goes to shit?” she sighed and continued to clean off his desk.
“Am I lying though? You’re more worried about her feelings than mine. I’m the one that’s pregnant,” she rolled her eyes. “I didn’t come over here for all of this… you said you wanted to talk and I’m here.”
“Yeah, days fucking later. Marisol, if you’re carrying my baby then I’m going to be there for my baby. Doesn’t mean we need to be sitting here planning baby showers and all that other shit,” I told her.
It didn’t make sense for me to sugar coat the shit, since she wanted to be petty. When we spoke days ago, I felt bad when she broke down on the phone, but all that shit went out the window when she started being petty because she saw me talking to Justice. Marisol was starting to make me hate the fuck out of her.
“Nobody fucking asked you to do all of that shit. I just need to know that you’re not going to try and front on my baby because of that bitch!” she hollered, so I knew Justice heard her.
“She ain’t never came out her mouth about you. Yet you keep making sure to disrespect her. You corny for that, yo,” I shook my head.
“Tell my sister that I stopped by, I’m leaving,” Justice had her leather jacket and purse on. “I ordered Kiss some pasta since I’m leaving, it should be here in a bit,” she turned to leave.
“Yo, wait,” I called behind her, and she stopped and turned around. “Can you give me five minutes, please?”
“You begging her for time but can’t be so bothered to talk to me about our fucking baby,” Marisol mumbled behind me.
I ignored her and walked over to Justice. “Five minutes. I don’t ask you for much.”
“Okay, fine,” she agreed and walked back into the kitchen. I turned my back and stared at Marisol.
“You mad corny for everything you doing… Get your cornball ass out of here and I’ll deal with you when I do,” I told her and turned to head to the kitchen.
I knew she was pissed because she started talking in Spanish. There wasn’t shit that Marisol could say to me that would make me turn around and continue our conversation with her. Marisol’s sneakers squeaked as she went to the front door and closed it behind her. She had an attitude and I didn’t give a fuck about none of that. Bitch brought her ass in here and already knew how she was about to act. Justice hadn’t said shit to or about her and she continued to disrespect her. Even after she heard her call her a bitch, she still didn’t come in there wilding like she could have. If Marisol was in fact carrying my baby, I knew she was about to make it hard on me.
“You got her pregnant?” Justice said soon as I walked back in the kitchen. “Her out of all people… wow,” she rolled her eyes.
“I fucked up man…but, we were fucking around before you came into the picture so it could be my baby.”
“Doesn’t make it any better,” she countered.
I started to plead and tell her that Marisol meant nothing to me, then I stopped. “Yo, who the fuck you think you are judging me for getting her pregnant? You got pregnant by a nigga that beat your ass, as a sport. Then took his one-legged ass back with the quickness. I own up to my shit, but you sitting here like shit all clean in your backyard,” I raised my voice.
“You know what? We’re not together so we don’t even need to discuss this. Priest stay the fuck away from you and I promise I’ll do the same!” she yelled and headed toward the door.
When she swung the door open, Pat was standing there with the pasta she had ordered. I grabbed the food as Justice headed to her car. “Call me when you get home!” I hollered behind her.
“Fuck you, Priest!” she stuck her middle finger up at me and got into her car. Pat pressed the button for her to exit the gates. She sped out of the gates doing sixty miles per hour.
“Trouble in paradise?”
“Man, we ain’t even get to see paradise yet… Good looks on paying for the food.”
He nodded. “Keep being consistent… And, no problem. Lil mama been going through it with her pregnancy lately, wanna make sure she good.”
“If she kept her legs closed,” I sighed.
“Man, that’s over with and done. You gotta be there for her, she gonna need the support. Coming from a dad with daughters around her age, I would be pissed too, but that would wear off because I need to support them. The world is already cruel and cold, don’t let her witness that coming from her home… feel me?”
“I hear you, Pat. Good looking out,” I dapped him and closed the door. Before bringing it upstairs, I plated the food and brought her up a Welch’s grape soda. It had been what she had been craving lately.
I knocked on the door before I entered the room. Kiss was laying on the bed with her stomach out, feet propped while Love and Kiki rubbed on her stomach. They were so excited about their nephew. They kept arguing with Kiss about what she was going to name her son. They felt she should name him something with a K as the first letter and she told them she wasn’t. I handed Kiss the plate and then sat at the foot of the bed. Her feet were swollen, so I grabbed one and started rubbing her feet gently.
“Y’all don’t know how good this feels and how good this pasta is,” she moaned out as she stuffed more food into her mouth.
“Cause you got mad fat. Your butt is huge, Kiss,” Love added.
“Why you always bringing up my weight, Love?” Kiss snapped and forked more food into her mouth.
“Yeah, you need to stop picking on your sister. She carrying a whole baby in her stomach, she’s allowed to gain some weight,” I told them and continued to rub Kiss’s feet.
“Kiki and Love! I got y’all food!” I heard Free’s voice and the twins yelling something behind her, so I knew she must had pulled in after I finished talking with Pat.
They didn’t bother to say bye as they ran out of the room to get their food. “About time,” Kiss sighed. “They’ve been in here getting on my nerves all day.”
“You’re the big sister. That’s their job.”
“How am I gonna juggle them and my baby? I’m scared, Ro,” she sighed and put her food on the night table.
“Love and Kiki aren’t your kids and are going to be taken care of no matter what. Your son is your main priority.”
“Get the pinky toe,” she directed, and I laughed. “I know that, but I need to help you out too. You work and the girls need someone to look out for them.”
“Let me worry about that, Kiss. I got us so don’t be worried about that. You don’t need to be stressing out my nephew with your worrying.”
She smiled. “You finally acknowledged him as your nephew.”
“Yeah, it took me some time to get used to it. Kiss, I changed your diapers, man. You know how it feel for you to be carrying a baby. Sandy wouldn’t want that shit for you.”
“Don’t bring up Mommy, please,” she begged. “I went this whole pregnancy praying for her guidance. I want her to be here so bad so she could help me with this. She’s not and I try not to think about it,” her voice cracked.
I rubbed her leg and she looked at me. “We don’t have to talk about her right now, okay?”
“Thank you,” she smiled and picked her food back up. “What’s going on with you and Justice? I heard her yelling downstairs.”
“Marisol is having my baby,” I admitted.
“Whelp, I’m not the only one with issues. Guess I’m ‘bout to have a little cousin running around, huh?” When she giggled, her stomach jumped.
“I’m glad you find this shit so damn funny,” I shook my head.
“And how does Justice feel about it?”
“You heard how she feels about it. I know your nosey ass was in the hallway listening,” I called her out. Kiss was so nosey that she would stand on those swollen aching feet to hear some tea.
“Well, she has her own issues too so she can’t be too mad.”
“She do, but why the fuck I feel like I cheated on her or some shit?”
“Cause you care about her and the fact that she’s hurt bothers you. I love Marisol, but I’m not feeling her ever since she went ghost on us. It’s cool though, I stay in a child’s place because she’s my little cousin’s mama, but you know…” she allowed her voice to trail off.
It was like I was seeing Kiss as a young adult for the first time. She wasn’t my kid niece who wanted to follow many everywhere, she was a young adult who could comprehend shit that I was going through as an adult.
“Why you gotta make sense?”
“I always make sense, you just never want to listen to me. You both want each other and it’s so obvious. She need to get rid of dude and you need to control Marisol… it could all be so simple.”
“Except it’s not,” I laughed as Free walked into the room.
“I brought you some peppermint oil to rub you down with. It’s gonna help with the soreness you’ve been experiencing.” Free was so fucking dope with the way she had been helping Kiss out. She knew I didn’t know anything about what she was going through and stepped in without me having to ask. “Let me get the twins ready for school and bed, and I got you.”
“Freeeeee! I love you!” Kiss yelled. “Thank you again.”
“Of course, baby girl,” she replied and went to get the kids ready. She popped her head back in. “Oh, and I’m making Love and Kiki go to bed with the twins after.”
“Do you, Free. They like and listen to you,” I laughed. “Take control.”
“All I needed to hear,” she laughed and left the room.
“I really like her,” Kiss said when she left the room. “You have no idea how good it feels to be rubbed down. I’m sore and tense everywhere,” she complained.
“I’m ‘bout to go shower and lay down. My head killing the fuck out of me,” I placed her feet down onto the pillow and headed towards the door.
“Get some rest. I love you,” she told me.
“Love you too,” I told her and went to go lay down. After running for days, the shit was finally taking a toll on me and I needed to rest.
