Gwyn was sure she could hear someone shuffling about inside of the house then.
“She’s probably got to get dressed after running around naked and all.”
“Who runs around naked in their house?” asked Gwyn, staring at her mother.
Hazel made a face. “I’d run around naked if you’d let me.”
Gwyn rubbed her temples with the tips of her fingers. “Ugh, you just gave me a mental picture I didn’t want to have, Mom.”
“As if you’d look so great naked?”
“Just stop, Mom.”
Hazel shrugged and pinched her lips tightly to her teeth.
“Loni! I need to speak to you. It’s important!” Gwyn hollered into the door.
Suddenly, the handle of the interior door turned, and the door creaked open just a crack. Gwyn couldn’t see anyone through the screen’s dirt-caked mesh.
“Who is it?” asked a froggy voice.
“It’s Gwyn!”
“Gwyn who?”
“Your old roommate, Gwyn Prescott.”
“I don’t know a Gwyn Prescott.”
“Stop playing, Loni. Of course, you do.” Gwyn silently wondered if her old friend was suffering from sudden-onset dementia or Alzheimer’s.
“How do I know you’re telling the truth?”
Gwyn was at a loss. Because I wouldn’t lie, she thought. She looked at her mother. “Because I brought my mother with me.”
The person on the other side of the door paused. “How do I know that’s your mother?”
Gwyn poked the short woman in front of her. “Tell her you’re my mother,” she hissed.
“I’ve never seen this woman before in my life,” said Hazel.
“Mother!” admonished Gwyn.
“The woman picked me up off the street and forced me to come with her,” Hazel added. She turned toward the street and tried to hobble away. “Call the police!”
Gwyn sidestepped and stood in her mother’s way. “Stop it, Mom.”
“See! She’s got me against my will. Call the police. Call the FBI. Call your senator!”
“You’re not the FBI?” the woman asked from the other side of the door.
“Of course we’re not the FBI,” said Gwyn. “It’s Gwyn and Hazel Prescott, Loni. We just moved to town.”
“Why are you coming so late at night?” asked the voice.
“Because I just got off work.”
“Where do you work?”
“The Aspen Falls Retirement Village.”
“More like the Aspen Falls Funeral Home,” snarked Hazel. “That place is worse than death.”
The door opened a little wider. “Did anyone follow you here?”
Gwyn looked behind her. “I don’t think so. Why would they?”
“You can never be too sure,” said the low, gravelly voice.
“Can we come in and talk inside?” asked Gwyn.
“You got any ID?”
Are you kidding me? Gwyn wondered. She sighed, but dug into her purse, pulling out her wallet. She flipped it open and flashed it at the dark crack.
A hand reached out, shoved the screen door open, and snatched up the wallet, pulling it inside with her.
“Hey! Loni!”
“You got any ID on the loudmouth?”
“Trust me. She’s my mother. I wouldn’t be hauling this woman around unless I was related to her by blood.”
Hazel bent slightly to the left and stared up at her daughter, giving her the stink eye.
The voice on the other side was quiet for a moment. Finally, the door swung open all the way. Only darkness could be seen inside. “Come in. Hurry up.”
Gwyn pulled the screen door open all the way and shoved her mother forward. “Let me do the talking,” she whispered.
“Quit pushing. This body hasn’t hurried up in forty years, it’s certainly not gonna start now,” said Hazel as she crossed the threshold slowly tapping at the dark ground in front of her with her cane.
Gwyn followed her mother inside, and the minute the door cleared her bottom, it slammed shut behind her back. Gwyn and Hazel stood in complete darkness.
“Did you forget to pay your electric bill?” asked Hazel.
“I don’t put the light on in this room after dark,” said the gravelly voice. “Follow me.”
Gwyn stepped around her mother so she could go first, but Hazel held her arm tightly. “Don’t make me go in there, Gwynnie,” she pled. “I don’t wanna die!”
“Mother, please!” begged Gwyn, tugging her mother along behind her.
Hazel sighed. “So this is how I go. Chopped up into little pieces by a psycho axe murderer. I’m leaving your sister my estate.”
“You don’t have an estate, Mother,” whispered Gwyn. “And I don’t have a sister.”
“Maybe not, but if I had another daughter, she wouldn’t make me go anywhere scary. She’d be the good daughter.”
Gwyn frowned in the darkness. Her heart jittered in her chest. She wasn’t exactly excited about blindly trusting her old friend Loni either. After all, Loni seemed to have gone off the deep end some time ago. Were they walking into a trap?
Gwyn grasped hold of her mother’s arm, and together they did their best to follow the sound of Loni’s footsteps across the hardwood floor. The further they walked, the tighter Gwyn and Hazel grasped each other’s arms.
“Where are we going, Loni?” asked Gwyn with her pulse pounding in her ears.
Suddenly, the sound of the footsteps in front of them stopped. They heard a noise, and then the light flipped on.
Gwyn’s eyes narrowed as the light caught her off guard and temporarily blinded her. She looked up.
“Ahh!” screamed Hazel.
6
“Loni!” breathed Gwyn. “Is that you?”
Hazel’s frail body pressed tightly against Gwyn’s back. She peered one eye around her daughter.
The woman standing before them stood about five feet nothing tall. She wore a wide-brimmed pink velvet hat with pink and orange flowers on the brim. She had on round black-rimmed Coke bottle glasses and wore a pink boa around her neck. Her shift dress was green-and-yellow paisley and looked like something she’d kept from the sixties. And to support the whole outfit, she had on a pair of purple galoshes.
With grotesquely enlarged eyes, the woman peered through her thick lenses at Gwyn. “You wearing a wire?” she asked in a coarse voice.
“A wire? Why would I be wearing a wire, Loni?”
Loni nodded her head towards Hazel. “How about that one? Is she wearing a wire?”
Gwyn peeked around her back to look down at her mother, who was holding on to the tail of Gwyn’s sweater tightly. “No. Mother’s not wearing a wire.”
“Then you won’t mind if I frisk you?” asked Loni.
Gwyn’s eyes widened. What had she gotten herself into? “Frisk us?! You can’t be serious! Can’t you just take my word?”
Loni shook her head. “I need to be sure.”
Gwyn felt the woman’s hands on her sides and down her back. With her arms straight down in front of her, she squeezed her breasts together between her biceps to protect them. When Loni came at her chest, Gwyn swiveled her shoulders. “That’s quite enough, thank you,” snapped Gwyn. Gwyn hadn’t been felt up in years, and she wasn’t about to let cuckoo Yolanda Hodges be the first to have that honor.
Apparently satisfied that Gwyn wasn’t wearing a wire, Loni moved on to Hazel.
“Touch me, and I’ll cane you,” said Hazel, holding out the business end of her wooden cane. With the cane slung over her shoulder, Loni and Hazel squared off, staring each other down.
Finally, Loni relented. “Fine. I’ll need to check your bag,” she said, pointing at Gwyn’s purse.
“My purse? Why?”
“Standard procedure,” said Loni without taking her eyes off of Hazel and her cane.
“It’s really not necessary, Loni. I don’t have anything important in there…”
Despite Gwyn’s
protests, Loni pulled the bag off her shoulder and dumped the contents onto the floor. Tubes of lipsticks, a box of Tic Tacs, a comb, wadded-up tissues, the car keys, and several handfuls of crumpled receipts tumbled out.
“Loni!” breathed Gwyn as she looked down at the mess on the floor. Gwyn squatted down and began reassembling her items. “What is going on?”
Loni picked up a tube of lipstick, pulled off the cap and twisted it to reveal its contents. “Is this really lipstick?”
“Of course it’s really lipstick! What else would it be?”
Loni rubbed the bright red lipstick across her mouth, smudging it out of the naturally formed lines of her lips and into the wrinkled creases that outlined them. “So it is,” she said before handing Gwyn the tube. “What’s this?”
Gwyn looked at the small box Loni had just picked up. “Tic Tacs?” she asked, bewildered. This was the strangest encounter she’d ever had in her life.
Squatted down next to Gwyn, Loni sniffed the container. “What are Tic Tacs?”
“Breath mints,” said Gwyn curiously. “Haven’t you ever had a Tic Tac?”
Loni put the box in the pocket of her dress. “I’ll just hang onto these until the contents can be verified.”
Gwyn couldn’t believe it. Her friend had truly gone off the deep end. What happened to make Loni so suspicious? she wondered. She certainly wasn’t like this in college. Gwyn shoved the rest of her belongings back into her purse and stood up.
“May I please have my wallet back?” she asked indignantly as she shoved the purse high up on her shoulder.
Loni blinked without changing expressions. Then, slowly, she looked down at the wallet in her hand and began to study Gwyn’s identification, giving Gwyn a chance to look around the room.
They stood in the kitchen. The inside was much like the outside. Stuffed with junk, covered in cat food, and badly in need of cleaning and repairs. The whole house reeked of cat urine and cigar smoke, and Gwyn had a difficult time taking in a deep breath as the odor was so pungent.
“This says you live in Arizona. What are you doing in Pennsylvania?” Loni’s question sounded more like an accusation.
“Mom and I just moved here.” Gwyn scanned Loni’s clothing choice. “That’s an interesting outfit you’re wearing.”
Loni handed Gwyn her wallet back. “Why did you move here?”
“I got a job at the Aspen Falls Retirement Village,” said Gwyn as she tucked her wallet back into her purse.
“So it’s really you?” asked Loni.
Gwyn sighed. She wasn’t sure what else she needed to do to prove to Loni that she was indeed her old college roommate. “Yes, Loni. It’s really me.”
“What was our headmistress’s name in college?”
“Sorceress Halliwell,” said Gwyn. “And we all loved her.”
Loni blinked again behind her round glasses. Her oversized eyes like those of a slender loris. “Anyone could have found that out.”
Gwyn palmed her forehead. They were getting nowhere at a snail’s pace. She was getting frustrated. “We pulled a prank on Halloween night. Put all the police cars on top of the downtown buildings.”
That made Loni smile, and for the first time, she revealed her caffeine-stained teeth to the girls. “He-he,” she cackled in a slow chuckle. “I had almost forgotten about that. That was funny.” Just as she’d been quick to smile about the incident, she was quick to allow her smile to fade, and the suspicious looks returned. “But it also made the papers. Anyone could have figured out that was us. What else you got?”
Forced to replay old memories in her mind, Gwyn thought about it for a long moment. Her eyes scanned the familiar walls and the wooden stairs just off the kitchen. She could see a young Loni sprinting down those stairs in her mind. Loni had been wild and crazy and full of life. They’d been the best of friends back then. The thought made Gwyn want to try harder to bring the old Loni back. “I stayed here in this house with you many, many times. I met your mom and dad and your brother and sister. Your room was on the third floor. We snuck out once by crawling out your window and down the tree in the backyard. Your skirt got caught in the branches and tore off a huge chunk of the rear of your dress.”
Loni made a funny noise, almost a snort, and then said, “That tree came down in a storm about twenty years ago.”
Gwyn smiled at her. “See? How would anyone else know that?”
With her arms hanging limply by her side, Loni finally broke character and slowly reached out to touch Gwyn’s face. “Is that really you, Gwynnie?”
Gwyn sighed. Finally, she’d gotten through to her! “Yes, Loni. It’s really me.” Gwyn stood awkwardly as Loni felt her face with the tips of her fingers. Then suddenly, Loni’s arms were around her, and she was pulling her in for a tight hug.
“I’ve missed you, Gwynnie!”
With Loni’s head pressed between Gwyn’s breasts, her pink felt hat tipped off of her head and smashed Gwyn in the face. She leaned her head back on her neck and patted Loni’s back. “I’ve missed you too, Lon.”
Just as suddenly as she’d embraced Gwyn, she let go of her and rushed back towards the front door and into darkness. Loni wove through stacks of possessions and pulled back the curtain at her front window. Carefully she peered outside. “You’re sure no one followed you?”
Gwyn knitted her eyebrows together. “Pretty sure. Who are you scared of, Loni?”
Loni held a hand to her lips and hissed at Gwyn, “Shhh!” She stared at the window.
Gwyn looked down at her mother. Hazel swirled a finger in circles up by her temple. Then she made a psychotic face and pretended to stab Gwyn repeatedly with her cane. Gwyn rolled her eyes and shook her head at her mother as if to say, No, Loni’s not going to kill us.
Finally, Loni returned to the kitchen, causing Hazel to retreat back behind her daughter again. “I think we’re safe,” said Loni, sounding a little more normal than she had thus far.
“I’m glad to hear that.” Gwyn stepped aside to reveal her mother, but Hazel stayed glued to her back and moved when she did. Gwyn had to twist around to peel the old woman off her. “Loni, this is my mother, Hazel,” she grunted while working to detach Hazel’s grip from her sweater. “Do you remember her?”
“No,” said Loni, sniffing in Hazel’s direction. “I never met your mother.”
“Yes, you did. It was on move-in day of our freshman year.”
Loni shrugged and looked at Hazel. “So you’re Hazel.”
“And you’re a loon,” said Hazel matter-of-factly.
“Mother!” gasped Gwyn. “I’m so sorry, Loni. My mother has a tendency to blurt things out.”
“I just call things as I see them. Nothing wrong with that,” said Hazel with a shrug. “Besides, she called me a loudmouth.”
Loni nodded. “I can appreciate that. Too many people pretend to be something they’re not. I prefer blunt people. It’s nice to meet you, Hazel. Come on in, girls.” She led the duo further into the kitchen between two tall rows of stacked magazines to a kitchen table covered with mail, papers, books, and a calico cat bathing herself. The chairs around the table were all covered with random things. Baskets of buttons, bins of thread, a box of candles. “Let me clear off a spot for us to sit down.” She waved her hand towards the cat in a shooing motion. “Get down, Callie.”
The cat squawked at her as it jumped down off the table.
“Well, I’m sorry,” she snapped back at her as she sauntered away. “I didn’t know we were going to have guests either!”
Gwyn stepped uncomfortably around the tight space while her friend emptied three chairs. “Is that your only cat?” Gwyn asked politely.
The woman looked up at Gwyn with a broad smile. “Yes.”
By the cat stench in the house, Gwyn was shocked to hear that this was the only cat contributing to the odor, but it was the only one she’d seen.
Loni looked back at the cat. “Oh. Do you mean is that my only cat?”
Gwyn
nodded. She wasn’t sure how else her question could have been interpreted.
Loni shook her head. “Callie is my only calico cat. Her brother died a year ago Saturday, and as you can tell by her attitude, she still isn’t over it. Now technically she does have a third cousin that’s part calico. But I really don’t count that because her mother was Siamese.”
Gwyn lifted her brows and pursed her lips. “So you have other cats?”
Loni moved a basket of candles to the floor and motioned for Hazel to sit. “I have twenty-seven other cats.”
Gwyn’s jaw fell open. “You have twenty-eight cats total?”
Loni’s head bobbled on her neck. “Oh, give or take a few strays.”
Hazel eyed the chair Loni had just cleared off for her. “You some kind of crazy cat lady or something?”
“Mom!”
Loni laughed. “It’s alright, Gwyn. She’s probably got me pegged accurately.”
Gwyn’s face fell. “Oh. I—I’m sorry…”
“Sorry? For what? I love cats. They’re my family.” Loni looked at Hazel. “I talk to animals, you know.”
Hazel’s baggy eyes widened. “Oh. I didn’t know. I read minds.”
“I think I remember Gwyn telling me that.” Loni nodded. “Please, have a seat. Can I get you something to eat or drink?”
Gwyn’s stomach rumbled, but one look at the cat food covering the dishes in the sink and on the counter told Gwyn she could wait to grab a bite when they got back to The Village. “Oh no, we’re positively stuffed,” she lied instead.
Hazel looked up at her sharply, as if to say, Liar.
Gwyn kicked her mother’s leg under the table. “Loni, that’s quite the interesting outfit you’re wearing.”
Loni looked down at herself. “Oh, yes,” she said, unwinding the boa and letting it drop on the floor. She took the hat off too and put it on the counter, on top of a bra and a pair of nylon stockings, then slid her bare feet out of the rain boots. “That was just a disguise.”
“A disguise?” Gwyn looked down at the small gold watch she wore. “It’s late, Loni. Why would you be wearing a disguise in your own home?”
Loni ignored the question and glanced down at Hazel. “Hazel, would you like some coffee?”
That Old Witch!: The Coffee Coven's Cozy Capers: Book 1 Page 5
