by Hope Ramsay
“I’ll work on it,” Colton said, straining to be polite.
“Also, I didn’t call your grandmother. I thought I’d leave that up to you. Didn’t see the point of waking her up and scaring her half to death. It’s best to stay with her a few days, son, where you can be watched and rest up.” He patted Colton’s leg, meaning their conversation was about through. “We’ll get you those discharge papers and you can go home.”
“My cruiser—”
“Is parked at the station. I might have forgotten to say no driving either.”
Great. Sounded like all he was going to be able to do was stare at the walls for a week.
Just then Sandy the nurse walked back in. “Are we all ready for discharge here?”
Sara’s dad gave Colton one final pat on the shoulder. “I’m glad you’re all right, son. You’ll be back to work in no time.”
“Thanks, Doc, for everything,” he said, shaking his hand.
“See you later, Dad,” Sara said, giving him a quick kiss as he left. She stayed at Colton’s side. He couldn’t help but notice Sandy glancing up from her paperwork, her gaze shifting between Colton and Sara.
“Just sign here,” she said. “You’re going to need a ride home, right?”
He really wanted to drive himself. Enough with the fussing already.
“I can drive you home,” Sara said cheerily. “I’ll go pull up my car.”
“Sounds great,” Sandy said. “I just have to run and get a wheelchair, and you’ll be all set.”
He knew the rules. But he hated them. Everyone would see him getting wheeled out. It wasn’t good for his job, to have people know the chief was in a weak state.
Sandy handed Colton a copy of his discharge instructions. He sensed what she was about to say. “So you two. I had no idea you were a couple. I mean—”
“Sara and I are friends, Sandy,” Colton said, cutting her off. “Thanks for the instructions.”
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Sara flinch. What was up with that? She couldn’t think…Nah. She’d told him from the beginning she wanted to keep things light, and so did he. She was going to leave Angel Falls and find someone else who had an MD or some kind of Ivy League pedigree. He’d be left with only his pride, and he had to do anything possible to spare that. And to spare himself the humiliation of his whole community knowing that he was a fool to get things started up with her.
“Oh, OK then. Sorry. I’ll go get that chair. Nice to see you, Sara.”
Sara smiled. “See you around, Sandy.” She turned to Colton, the same calm expression on her face. “I’ll go get my car. Unless, of course, you’d like to call another friend?” Before he could answer, she gathered up her purse and walked out.
What the hell? Could it be possible she’d changed her mind? Did he want her to change her mind? Granted, he felt things with her he’d never felt with anyone else. Everything with her was different. But now that he’d had this scare, all he could think of was that look on her face when she’d first seen him. The same horrified face his mother had worn for his dad. The nights of worry, the stress of wondering every single day if it was going to be just another day shooting the bull in the coffee shop or something like this, only with even worse consequences.
It didn’t matter anyway. Sara wasn’t going to be around long, and he was going to stay the course. It was the only thing that made sense.
* * *
Colton’s head might have been spinning, but Sara would bet not as much as hers, which was reeling over that just friends remark. Yeah, she knew that’s what she’d told him at the beginning, but how could he say that after how amazing everything had been between them? Maybe he was protecting her from town gossip by saying that in front of Sandy, quelling rumors, that kind of thing. She’d been so afraid of that, but now that someone close to her—her dad—knew about her and Colton, it wasn’t so bad.
She wasn’t so afraid anymore of what her dad thought of her choices. Hell, she wasn’t so afraid of her choices herself. Maybe she really did want more with Colton. Was she even staying in town? Could this be her actual home again?
The two minutes it took to wheel Colton out felt like two hours. All the ER staff stopped to look at his messed-up face and wish him well. He smiled and waved at everyone, including the cop at the ER doors who opened the car door for him, but he drew the line at being helped into the car. He winced when he bent his head to get in.
One look at him and she knew for certain she couldn’t pretend anymore that what she felt for him was casual. She’d never felt so comfortable with someone. So herself. And he’d seemed genuinely thrilled to see her, and have her stay with him, and he’d even said she was the only woman he’d invited into his home. Was that all in the name of friends?
But he’d certainly hated seeing her emotional over his wounds. And seemed to hate the fact that she’d shown up at the hospital. She wondered if she was really the only one feeling that this was something more. Perhaps she was off base, as she’d been with Tagg, thinking he’d loved her. She’d pushed away all her uncomfortable feelings, frightened to bring them out into the open. She’d vowed not to be like that anymore.
This time, she wasn’t going to sit by unquestioning. This time, she knew what she wanted, and she was going to let Colton know, regardless of the consequences to her heart.
Colton breathed a heavy sigh as Sara finally pulled away from the curb, and Sara knew he must be exhausted and in pain. Not the best time for a relationship talk. They drove in silence the ten minutes to Cookie’s house. The sun was coming up over the green hills and the forests just outside of town, the first light of another glorious summer morning.
Sara pulled into Cookie’s little gravel driveway. “I let Champ out before I left, but I didn’t feed him. How about I go do that now and bring him over?”
He turned to her, as much as he could with the stiffness. It looked as if his neck was hurting too, and who knew what other body parts. He assessed her through his one good eye.
“Sara, turn off the car for a sec, please?”
She cut the engine. “Colton, I’m sorry I showed up. I’m sorry I embarrassed you,” she said before he could continue. “We can talk about this when you feel better. Just go in and rest, OK?” She managed a tight smile.
He took hold of her right hand, which was resting on the steering wheel.
“It’s not good for citizens to see their police chief injured. I don’t like people seeing me like that.”
His words struck her as odd. “Like what—being a human?”
“Weak. Helpless.”
“Human beings get hurt, Colton.” What was he trying to tell her?
He swallowed and spoke again. “I hated seeing you cry over me.”
He looked very vulnerable, upset even. “I didn’t think I was going to cry,” she said. “I thought I could handle it. But I took one look at you and I—”
Oh, hell, she felt like she was going to start crying again. “Part of the reason I don’t like to get serious with anybody is I don’t want anyone doing that,” he said.
Oh dear, this was taking a turn. “Doing what?” she asked, her tone carrying a definite edge now. “Caring?”
Even in the dark, she could see something flash in his eyes.
“Look, sometimes my job is scary, and I don’t know how I feel about letting anyone in on that.” He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “I mean, we did say we were going to keep it casual, you know?”
Oh God, she was tearing up. She didn’t want to do that, and she didn’t want to stress him any further. But she was afraid she’d lose her nerve if she didn’t tell him now. “What we have…it doesn’t feel casual to me.” There, she’d said it. “I told you I didn’t want a relationship because I’ve only dated Tagg. After his rejection, I was afraid to put myself out there again. But what’s between us, I mean—” She swallowed and forced herself to continue. “What I’m trying to say is, to me, what we have is special. I care about you. Whateve
r’s going on with you, I want you to know that.”
The silence was getting deadly when he finally spoke. “Thanks for driving me home,” he said evenly, like she hadn’t just spilled her guts. “And for coming to see me.” He paused. “I just—I just don’t want anyone worrying about me.”
Well, that went well. Still a little stunned, Sara watched as Colton got slowly out of the car and righted himself. Somehow she managed to start it and put it in reverse. Before she pulled away, she turned and looked at him, still standing stiffly by the passenger door, his gaze impassive, his jaw stiff as granite. Her eyes were watery and her voice cracked a little with emotion. “You big fool,” she said. “Don’t you know it’s too late for that?”
Chapter 17
You’re super cranky,” Hannah said as she passed through Cookie’s living room with her car keys in her hand. She lingered near the couch, where Colton was sprawled out for the fourth day—and going stir-crazy. “Is that because you hit your head?”
He gave her a nasty look and went back to watching TV. Champ, who was sprawled on the floor, was handling his enforced rest well, more than happy to have Colton lying by his side all day.
Hannah went to grab the remote, which was lying on Colton’s chest, but he was too quick, grabbing it instead. He could see out of his eye now, and nothing was wrong with his reflexes. And he was still a little dizzy and headachy but getting better each day. The only problem was that he was dying of boredom. And stupidity, considering how he’d treated Sara.
“Cookie,” Hannah called. “Colton’s watching TV again.”
“Hannah, I swear—” He couldn’t get away with anything around here.
“You know what the doctor said,” Hannah said. “No TV, no texting, no computer, no paperwork…” At Hannah’s scolding tone, Champ drooped his ears, ready to take the blame for Colton’s indiscretions.
“Don’t you have to go to work or something?” he asked his sister.
Cookie walked in, took the remote from his hands, and turned the TV off. “You know what the doctor said. No TV, nothing that strains your brain.”
“I’ll just lie here and stare at the ceiling all day.” That was not a way to shut off his brain, just a way to make him insane. It also made it way easier to think of Sara. All. Day. Long. And how she’d said she cared about him. How she believed what they had was special. And how he’d pushed her away.
God, he’d screwed up. And the pain of missing her was worse than the pain in his head and his boredom combined.
He winced.
“Head still hurting?” Cookie asked. “Do you want some more Advil?”
“No, I’m fine,” he said, trying not to sound irritated. He wanted to kick himself.
“Sara’s grandmother brought us some chocolate chip cookies,” Hannah said.
“That would make most people pretty happy,” said Cookie.
“Don’t you two have places to go? Geez.” The hovering. The concern. He could do without both. Being left to wallow in his frustration and boredom sucked, but it was better than this.
“OK, fine then. I’m going to work,” Hannah said. “I’d kiss you on the cheek, but I’m afraid you might bite me.” She bent down and kissed him anyway, and gave Champ a pat, which turned into a belly rub.
“Thanks, squirt,” he said.
“I’ll be home at eight after dance class,” Hannah told Cookie. “Oh, I forgot my keys in the kitchen.”
Hannah ran into the kitchen, and Cookie sat down at the end of the couch. Colt moved his feet to make room for her.
“Your business isn’t that private, you know. I ran into Sandy Feldon at the grocery store. She told me she’d seen Sara sit with you in the ER in the middle of the night and asked me if you and Sara were dating. She told me you said that the two of you were just friends. But she didn’t believe it, by the way.”
“Colton, you did not,” came a voice from the kitchen. Hannah popped her head through the doorway. “Why would you do that?”
“Quit eavesdropping,” he said. “Get to work already.”
“I could be a few minutes late.”
Colton sent her a glare.
“OK, OK, I’m going. But don’t screw this up. I like Sara too much.”
Hannah’s phone buzzed, as it did a thousand times a day, and then she was tapping vigorously on it, sending a selfie, and running out the door. “Gotta go, good luck, love you.”
When the dust settled, it was a little too quiet in the room.
“Thanks for worrying about me, Cookie, but I’m fine. You can get on with your day.”
Instead of getting up, she crossed her arms and settled back into the couch. “I’m not going anywhere. Maybe Sara doesn’t want to come around and upset you because of your head problem, but frankly I don’t have a problem doing it. What’s wrong?”
He felt like he was thirteen again, being stubborn and sullen and Cookie was telling him to snap out of it. “Nothing’s wrong. Sara and I are friends. I’m just having a hard time doing nothing all week. It’s all fine.”
“Well, when I saw her yesterday she looked about as unhappy as you do. I’m old, and my clock is ticking. That means I have a low threshold for bullshit. What’s going on?”
He was close to Cookie, and they’d sat here on this couch many a time throughout his growing-up years. Except now his troubles were a lot different. He didn’t normally discuss his love life with her, and he felt at a loss.
“I know you feel you have to be the man of the house and take care of us all the time, but I can see you’re hurting now.”
Colton sighed. “I have been seeing Sara, but don’t get your hopes up. She came right down to the ER the other night. Rafe called her dad and her dad called her and then…there she was, at my bedside. She took one look at me and…” He squeezed his eyes shut. It hurt to remember the look on her face when she’d seen him. He pinched the bridge of his nose. He didn’t want to remember it.
“She was upset,” Cookie offered.
He nodded. “I don’t want to hurt her. Nothing good comes from a relationship with a cop. Families end up getting hurt. We all know that.”
Cookie fell silent. She patted his calf before she spoke again. “Colton, you remind me so much of your father. You look like him. You have his big heart. You’re handsome like him. But mostly you’re stubborn as a mule. Just like him too.”
“I’m not being stubborn, I’m being smart. She told me she’s not ready for anything serious. So I don’t know why she got so upset seeing me in the ER, or why she’s upset I introduced her as my friend.” Oh, he knew why. His gut was telling him why, with all its churning and pitching like a small vessel at sea. It was because their casual arrangement had gone to shit. For both of them.
“What happened with your father was a terrible tragedy,” Cookie said. “And it led to other bad things. You were forced to act like an adult when you were only a child. You lost your father and your mother way too young. That’s a lot of loss for a young boy.”
“It is what it is, Cookie. We got through it.”
“You’re not understanding what I’m trying to say. This isn’t about your getting beat up on the job and being afraid to upset Sara. It’s about you being afraid of getting hurt yourself. You’re not worried about Sara. You’re worried about yourself.”
Colton jolted upright. Champ startled awake, his dog tags jingling. “That’s ridiculous,” he said, but even he was beginning to see through himself. “I just wouldn’t want to put anyone through a cop’s life is all.”
“Nonsense. You were all by yourself, as it were, taking care of Hannah when your mother couldn’t be counted on. Your parents were both gone by the time you were a teenager. And so you protect yourself against more loss by not getting close to anyone. It’s no wonder you’re afraid to pull the trigger.”
He shot her an incredulous look. “Afraid to pull the trigger?”
“Well, they call you the Revolver, don’t they?”
“Geez, Co
okie. Where’d you hear that?”
“The ladies at the beauty shop talk, Colton.” She sighed. “Out of love for you, sometimes you need to hear things. I hope you understand that. Plus there is my need for great-grandchildren.”
“Sara’s not going to stay around here. She’s meant for bigger things.”
She shrugged, turning her palms up to the ceiling. “Well then, I guess there’s no use in trying. Or asking her what she wants.” She got up from the couch but didn’t turn away. “I know you were sweet on her in high school, but you deferred to Tagg. But Tagg’s out of the picture now. The only thing stopping you is yourself.”
Was Cookie right? Had he been protecting himself? “I’ll think about what you said.”
She smiled and patted his calf again. “Well, you have plenty of time to do just that, don’t you?”
* * *
Just Sara’s luck. Of course she would get the job of chopping onions for the salad the night of the big family dinner, which happened to be at Dad and Rachel’s house this week. And pungent onions they were, making her eyes leak and her nose run as she sat at the big kitchen island.
Rachel passed by on her way to the stove and squeezed her shoulder. “You OK?” she asked.
“Killer onions,” Sara responded with a watery smile. Yep, her tears were all the fault of the onions. Not at all due to a certain cop who had friend-zoned her. Revolved her. Because that’s what he did.
“Where’s Malcolm, by the way?” Evie asked Gabby, who was tossing the salad. Through the big paned window, they could see their dad grilling his specialty salmon while Rafe and Joe played ball with the kids.
“He’s lying down upstairs,” Gabby said. “He had a sinus headache and needed a little quiet time.”
