by T. S. Joyce
“Caleb,” I pleaded.
His arms tensed around me. “Did I hurt you?”
“I want more. I feel like I want—” God, what did I feel? Everything. Rightness. I wanted more of him, but what did that even mean? I tugged on his earlobe with gentle lips.
“Mira, I didn’t come out here to take advantage,” he rasped, his hands clenching my sides as I nestled even closer.
“Stop,” I implored. “Words like that taint what this is. I know what I want, Caleb.” As I straddled his lap, his breath hitched.
His hands ran up my back and gripped my shoulders, pulling me against him as I rocked gently.
“Shit,” he gritted out, as I rolled my hips again. “Mira, we’re not ready. This isn’t how I want it for our first time.”
My instinct was to feel the slap of rejection. I hadn’t ever been intimate with a boy besides him, and insecurity told me I was doing this wrong. But then again, I liked the way he’d said that. “Have you thought about us together before?”
I raked my fingers through his hair, and he leaned back against the tree with a sigh. “Of course, I’ve thought about it.” He grasped my hips in an almost painful grip. “I saw you without a shirt on, remember?”
Pleasure filled me at affecting him so deeply. I hadn’t had much time to worry over vanity since I had moved here, but his admission made me feel beautiful. “So, you don’t want our first time to be here?”
“It’s not my first time,” he said, the smile dropping from his face. “But it’s yours. I want it to be better.”
“You mean special?” My heart was expanding so fast, I’d burst.
“Yeah, Mira. You’re special. And our first time is going to be important. It feels like it, right?”
Unable to speak, I nodded.
“We’ll remember it for a long time, and I don’t want that part of our relationship to happen too early. And I definitely don’t want it to happen out in the woods on an old blanket.” Caleb lifted his hands to my neck and massaged it gently. “I want to take you out. Do this right.”
“Are you going to ask me on a date, Caleb McCreedy?”
“I am, but not right now.”
“Why not?” I rocked against the hard seam of his pants again, and his eyes rolled closed.
He stopped my motion by gripping my waist and leveled me with a serious look. “Because right now I’m tempted to ask you out tonight so I can take you back to my place as soon as possible. It kind of defeats what I’m trying to do for us.”
With an explosive sigh, I fell backward onto the blanket and stretched out, frowning at the leaves above. “Who’s driving who crazy now?”
****
Caleb
The drill was a noisy, filthy, unsafe, physically draining work place. I loved it. There was no other job I wanted to do than one out on a land rig. The metal screeched around me as heavy machinery was pulled to and from the rig floor. I trusted Brian not to hit us with anything.
“Evan, cut it out,” I warned as my brother sprayed Reyes with the hose like a child. There was no room for horseplay up here. A misstep didn’t mean you got written up by an annoyed employer. It meant you got seriously injured—or worse.
Evan flipped me off but put the spray back on the drill as it slowly retreated out of the earth. With a clang, it pulled free, and I turned off the mud pumps. Evan and Reyes hooked the slips around the joints of the pipe, and I hopped down off my platform to help pull the length of metal upward.
“You and me, we need to switch jobs for a day,” Reyes said through a muddy grin.
“I already put my time in as a floorhand. I’m good.”
Reyes was an old friend who had moved off after high school. When his mother got sick about six months back, he came snooping around for a rig job, and I put in a good word. He was a greenhorn and had a lot to learn, but he would be an asset—eventually. I still watched him like a hawk, though. Evan on the floor tended to bring out everyone’s worst behavior. Which was probably why, after so much time, he was still in the exact position he’d been hired in and hadn’t ever seen an increase in pay. I adjusted my hard hat and booted mud off the metal decking while I waited for Reyes to clamp on the tongs before we lifted.
“Caleb,” our supervisor called from above us. “Need to talk at you.”
I finished hauling the pipe and glared at Evan. “You think you can add more pipe without messing up?” The slow churning fury I kept inside threatened to escape when he saluted me. Evan had only become more obnoxious with age.
I took off my work gloves and scaled the metal stairs two at a time until I reached the platform Mr. Wilson waited on. “Yes, sir?”
“Got a call from the big rig. Said they need to know your answer today. They’re already working shorthanded.”
I rubbed my hand over the stubble on my face. I wasn’t ready to make the decision. By all accounts, I should’ve been. I’d known the position was mine if I wanted it since the night of the disastrous family dinner with Mira. My father had enlightened me. This was my chance. I should’ve jumped at it already, but I couldn’t quite escape the panic that hit me in the gut when I thought about moving three hours away from home. Away from her.
“Afraid I’m going to have to respectfully decline.”
Mr. Wilson stared at me like I had spoken to him in Gaelic. “I don’t understand. Have you thought this through, son? I mean, ignoring the significant pay raise, you’d be on the fast track. You can’t work a rig forever, McCreedy. Your body will get older and refuse you. With your knowhow, work ethic, and name? You have a chance to get in on the business side of this eventually. You won’t have to be an old timer doing this kind of labor.”
“I like this kind of labor, sir. My answer is no.”
Mr. Wilson took his hard hat off and ran his fingers through his graying hair. He opened his mouth to object but was interrupted by a short yell and the clang of metal against metal. My legs were moving before I even fully registered the scene below me. The floor thudded as my mud-covered boots hit it running. Evan hovered over Reyes and yelled for help. Reyes held his bleeding hand to his stomach and rocked as if it would ease the pain. Open flesh hung from the side of his palm, and I cursed. It looked fucking ruined. I wanted to hit Evan. There wasn’t any doubt in my mind this was his fault. I swallowed a snarl and averted my eyes in case the damned things were glowing under my fury.
“We need to get him to the clinic,” I barked out.
Mr. Wilson handed me the first aid kit he’d swiped from one of the stashes. Though they tended to be well stocked and not your average medical supplies, it was still monumentally inadequate for an injury like his. I wrapped an entire roll of gauze around his hand, ignoring his screams of pain.
Mr. Wilson squatted beside me. “Evan, drive him into town,” he ordered.
Evan leaned against the rail like we had offered him a rat. “Me? Why don’t you make your golden boy do it?”
Mr. Wilson’s face turned a deep shade of furious red. “Because that golden boy actually works around here.”
Evan crossed his arms stubbornly. “No, thanks. Don’t want him bleeding like a stuck pig all over my truck.”
I didn’t hesitate. I tossed him the keys to my truck. It wasn’t surprising in the least that he worried about his trashed out pickup over his friend. That was just Evan.
He sighed heavily and stomped down the stairs, leaving Mr. Wilson and I to trail behind with a very pale looking Reyes propped between us.
****
Mira
How would I ever get used to the feel of touch? I had gone for so long without any kind of physical contact. It sent my skin buzzing. I brushed my mouth with my fingertips and imagined for the thousandth time what Caleb’s soft lips had felt like against mine.
Even more important than affection, Caleb had opened up and shared his favorite spot. He’d held my hand the entire way back to the house and kissed me at the front door when he dropped me off. And he’d returned and kissed
me again before he made it all the way to his truck, like he couldn’t get enough. My lips throbbed just thinking about the way he’d kissed me for half an hour before he left.
“Oh, lover girl,” Opal sang as she slammed the phone into its sling.
I straightened and laughed in embarrassment. I had spent most of the day in a dream. The lunch rush was over and only a few customers remained. All satisfied and not wanting for anything, I had drifted off down memory lane. Again.
“We got an order for three Very Cherry pies. They are picking them up first thing in the morning. Put the big sugar granules on top like you did last time.” Her voice faded as she disappeared into the back room, but I could still hear her when she said, “They’re like little tongue orgasms.”
Shaking my head, I sighed. I mean really. How could a thing as small as a kiss make me feel so different? My hands went to work while my mind twirled merrily on its way.
“What do you recommend?” Caleb asked from behind me.
His voice startled me, and I let off a loud squeak. I spun around and knocked the yellow flour container to the floor. A culinary smoke cloud wafted around me like I was supposed to disappear in a magic show.
Opal poked her head out of the storage room and looked from me to Caleb and held out a broom.
Caleb leaned over the counter to better see her. “I’m sorry, Ms. Opal. That was my fault. I scared her.” He was trying unsuccessfully not to smile.
“If you’re here to harass my girl, you’re going to have to wait until after her shift is over.”
“No ma’am. I heard you guys have the best dessert around. Just got off of work and wanted to try some is all.”
“Hmm,” she said through narrowed eyes. The corner of her mouth was turned up in a tiny smile, though, which softened her expression. “Mira made a lemon pie this morning that is to die for.” She winked. “We are calling it Grizzly Bear Meringue.”
Caleb huffed a laugh. “Well, I’ll have to have a slice of that one, then.”
I wiped my hands on my apron and pulled a slice out of the front display case for him. My hands shook as I rang him up.
“Hey,” he said, grabbing my fingers as I held out his change. “You all right?” He looked down at my hand with a worried frown.
“Yes, I’m fine,” I whispered. “You just startled me.”
He ran a thumb over my knuckles, leaving a trail of heat where his skin touched mine. Caleb’s smile said he liked my physical reaction to him. “When do you get off?”
“Uh.” I looked at the clock on the back wall. “Two more hours. Why?”
“You want to go out tonight?”
I hesitated. My heart was in my throat, and if I spoke too soon, he would be able to hear how downright giddy I felt. Deep breath. “Okay.”
He looked surprised, but for the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why. I’d basically thrown myself at him yesterday. “Yeah?” he asked.
I nodded.
“Okay. I’m going to go get ready. I’ll pick you up here in two hours.”
He took his pie to go and looked back at me with a grin that just about buckled my knees before he walked out the front door. If I didn’t have his crumpled dollar bills in the palm of my hand, I would’ve sworn I’d just dreamed him.
Chapter Eighteen
Mira
It was double feature night at the drive-in movie theater, and both had been released a long time ago. This week was an alien flick followed by a romantic comedy. We showed up late, and as Caleb maneuvered his truck into one of the leftover spots in the back, I decided I was grateful we had missed most of the first one. If the ending was anything to go by, the rest of it looked terrible.
The gears clicked as Caleb shifted into park. “You want any snacks?”
My back stiffened in surprise. This was only my second time at the drive-in. The first one consisted of me sneaking around the back of the property and watching a show from behind the wire fence before Sheriff Clancy had chased me off. I had most certainly never dreamed of getting snacks. “No thank you,” I said quietly. I didn’t want him spending any more money on me. He had already paid for the tickets, despite my offer of part of the paycheck Opal had handed me at lunchtime.
He stared at me for a second longer. “Okay, well, I’m getting popcorn and a drink. And maybe skittles, or maybe M&M’s.” He ticked his future purchases off on his hand. “I won’t be able to eat it all so you might as well share with me. Nachos. Do you like jalapeños?”
I sighed through a flattered smile. “Skittles and jalapeños on the side.”
Caleb snaked his hand across the top of my leg and squeezed it gently. “Hey, tonight don’t worry about money. Let me take you out. Okay?”
Even if I had been able to talk while swimming in the deep blue of his eyes, I definitely couldn’t peep a single word with his warm, able hand across the top of my thigh. I held my breath, afraid it would match the frantic pace of my heart, and tipped my chin slightly in answer.
My gaze was drawn to his lips. They were turned up in a knowing smile. Masculine lips over a chiseled jaw. Their subtle color contrasted against the white of an alluring smile. Two faint dimples adorned his cheeks, and I was hypnotized by the ease with which he bestowed such a look on someone like me. I had never seen him give the same smile to anybody else. This one was mine.
Caleb’s fingers splayed against my leg as he leaned in to kiss me. He stopped right before his lips touched mine. His smile said it wasn’t a hesitation, but an invitation. I pushed a strand of blond hair out of his face with the tip of my finger and closed the small space between us. His nearness, his touch left me dizzy and needing more. He was powerful and consuming and frustrating and I wanted more like some desert animal dying of thirst. He was my sustenance.
I sucked gently on his bottom lip, and he growled softly, deep in his throat where only I would hear. I shivered at the sound. Something deep inside of me clenched at the realization that I had brought such an urgent sound from him.
Caleb pulled away, regretfully, and leaned his forehead against my own. “I think I should go get our food,” he rasped.
“Sprite,” I whispered, and he chuckled.
“You got it.” Caleb looked at me for a moment longer before he hopped out of the truck and shut the door behind him.
I watched him move smoothly to hook the old fashioned drive-in speaker onto the open window. I had to know. “Caleb?”
“Hmm?” he asked, distracted.
“What’s changed?”
He scooted the speaker over and leaned against the window. His brow furrowed as he took his time to think about his response. “I guess I just got tired of making us both miserable. I had all these reasons, but then when I looked at you, when I kissed you, I didn’t really remember them anymore.”
He dropped his gaze and bumped his palms against the window frame once, then strode off in the direction of a rickety concession shack to the right of the giant screen.
How was I supposed to pay attention to the movie after an admission like that? My head swam with the thought that he cared about me like this. Yesterday in the woods, he’d eased me into being comfortable and accepting my place beside him, but I’d overthought everything last night as I lay awake for hours in my bed. Shyness had crept into me again by dawn.
Caleb McCreedy, most sought after bachelor in town, was chasing me.
A little, triumphant part of me thought no one knew him quite like I did. We were scarred in different ways, but damaged just the same. He trusted me with his secret, like he knew I’d do anything to keep him and the animal that lived within him safe. I didn’t have to hide from him. He’d seen me starving and weak. He’d seen my marred skin and hadn’t balked against the sight. In turn, I wasn’t afraid of anything he could say to me. I wanted to know everything about him. About what made him Caleb. About what made him seem so detached from every person but me. I squeezed my hands into fists to bring myself back to reality. The gesture helped me to avoi
d the tidal wave of emotion that threatened to overwhelm my elated heart.
I was mostly in control of myself again by the time Caleb returned with a cardboard container stacked with our sugary wares. If there had been a test at the end of the movie, I would’ve failed with flying colors. I couldn’t focus on the plot or characters when Caleb was sitting right beside me, an arm slung over my shoulders and sharing every bit of his food with me. He laughed at the show as if we had been in the same position a hundred times. He had a deep, booming kind of laugh. I found myself wishing for more humorous lines so I could hear it again. His laughter pried some dark part of my heart open and released residual fear from the hidden crevices.
As the credits rolled, Caleb handed me the humongous drink he’d purchased and tossed our empty wrappers into the popcorn bucket. “So, I was going to take you into the city to go to a nice restaurant but we probably wouldn’t get back until late. Figured I’d ask what you want to do. I have to be on the rig early in the morning, and I know you work early, too.”
I looked down at my clothes. I wanted nothing more than to go to a fancy restaurant with Caleb but jeans, T-shirt, and a giant, camouflage-printed hoodie that Caleb thoughtfully gave to me weren’t exactly the right attire.
“How about I take you out on Friday night?” he asked, apparently seeing my dilemma. “You can plan what you want to wear, and I’ll pick you up at your house. We’ll do it right.”
“What is our other option for tonight?” I wasn’t hungry after the pound of nachos I’d inhaled, but I wasn’t ready to end the night with Caleb either.
“A romantic night at Rooney’s bar.”
“Perfect.” I grinned, hopeful that they served pancakes in the evenings. I’d want food again eventually.
We filed out of the parking lot with the other movie goers, but Caleb hit the brakes when someone jogged up to the truck. Brian came from a raucous group who were laughing and horsing around a trio of closely parked jeeps.
He waved and beamed when he saw me. “Hey, Mira. You guys on a date or something?”
I froze. Caleb did not. “Yep,” he said, void of hesitation. “About to take her to Rooney’s.”
