by Virna DePaul
“Cancelled.”
“Fuck.” He peered at her more closely. “You feeling anxious?”
“No,” she said automatically.
He raised an eyebrow.
She opened her mouth, shut it then shrugged. “You always saw through my act, even in high school,” she grumbled.
“So why do you try to con me?”
“Habit.”
“No, it’s you taking your daddy’s lessons to heart. Never let them see you sweat, right?”
She snorted. “I’ve been sweating plenty. Long before I received that bouquet of dead flowers at my doorstep the other day. I still don’t understand how the person got through my gates to put them there. What’s the point of having security measures if someone can bypass them so easily?”
Ben reached out and took her hand. “That won’t happen with a bodyguard. A trained professional won’t let anyone get that close to you again. Now tell me why the guy you had an appointment with cancelled.”
She squeezed his hand back. “Charlie just said this Mr. Indigo turned us down and referred us to another company. Maybe it’s a sign.”
“Of what? You need a bodyguard.”
“Not if I walk away,” she said quietly.
He blinked. “What?”
She swallowed hard, not sure she had it in her to voice what she’d been thinking lately, but this was Ben. Finally, she said, “I need a bodyguard because I’m in the public eye. Because I’m a famous actress. Because my ex cheated and published topless pictures of me, and one of his crazy fans decided he was the injured party and wants to hurt me. But if I walk away, if I…”
“If you what? Stop going out in public and lock yourself up in your apartment again? I thought you were determined not to become like your mother?”
She scowled and pulled her hand out of his grasp. “I’m not going to become my mother. But I don’t want a life where I need to be protected by a bodyguard, either.”
“You need to take these threats seriously right now. It doesn’t mean you’ll always need protection. Even if it does…you love acting. And the fact is, you are famous. You’ve worked damn hard to become famous. You can’t just throw that all away because you don’t want to rely on someone else to protect you.”
“But I don’t want to rely on someone else,” she said. “Relying on others to protect me will make me careless. It also puts that other person at risk. I’d rather take my chances on my own, and if something happens, so be it. At least it was my doing and it only happens to me.”
“But it’s the person’s job—”
“No one expects it to happen to them, Ben, but it could. Someone could get hurt. Or killed. Because of me. And I don’t know if I could live with myself if that happened.”
“At least you’d be alive to find out!” he snapped. “And if you hire someone good enough, nothing will happen to anyone. That’s the whole point.”
She shrugged. “Maybe. Maybe not. But it looks like the best of the best has passed on the job. What I need to decide is whether to hire the second best company.”
“There’s nothing to decide. You know it’s what you need to do, Kat. Don’t back out now.”
She stared at him. Saw his resolve and felt it flow into her. He rarely lost his temper with her or got bossy, but he was worried. And he was right to worry even if she wished he wasn’t—those dead flowers delivered to her front door had been proof of that.
“I just want to live my life. Is that too much to ask?”
“Of course not. But we all have our burdens, baby. We rely on our inner strength and those close to us to help us through them. Like you’ll be keeping me company tonight while Sergio is away…”
Her mouth twisted. “And then tomorrow you’ll come with me to visit my agoraphobic mom. A true friend indeed.”
“Stop it. I love your mom and am looking forward to seeing her.”
“I know. And she looks forward to seeing you more than she does me sometimes.”
He grinned and winked, and the heaviness in Kat’s chest lightened.
“It’s the cheesecake,” he said. Ben went with Kat to visit her mother about once a month. He was the only other person she’d let into her house other than Kat, and every time he came, he always brought her a homemade cheesecake.
“I know. That’s why I love you,” Kat teased. “That, and because I like hanging out with Sergio and playing with Mamie.”
At the mention of her name, Mamie raised her head and licked Kat’s hand. She put her face down close to the dog’s and nuzzled noses with her. “I think I need a dog more than a bodyguard.”
“Baby, what you need is a man.”
She straightened with a scowl. “You do remember what happened the last time I had a man, right?”
“Ray is a moron. You can’t let what he did stop you from living and having fun. If you do that, he wins. Besides, you don’t have to get into a relationship. Find a hot guy, take him home, fuck his brains out and send him on his way. If he has a nice ass, give it a pat on the way out the door.”
She shook her head. “Thanks for the tip, but I think I’ll pass. I don’t want a man who wants to fuck a famous actress. And that’s all it would be.”
“You’re deluding yourself if you think men want to fuck you because you’re a famous actress. Here’s a thought—find a man to protect you and a man to fuck. Preferably before I leave to start filming. I’ll feel better, knowing you’re being taken care of.”
She wrinkled her nose. “I don’t want you to go to Connecticut. I’ll miss you.”
“I’ll miss you too, desperately. But you can come visit me in Mystic anytime.”
“Is Sergio still going with you?”
“Are you kidding? He’d never let me go three thousand miles away without him. He wants to take care of me, and unlike you, I see the benefits in letting a man do that.”
“Well, you struck gold with Sergio. He’s one in a million.”
He reached out and took hold of her hand again. “I struck gold twice.”
She felt her heart swell. “Thank you for everything. But you gave me tough love and now it’s my turn. Get back to work. I’m going to head home and prepare for our movie night. But…” She exhaled, then said, “But only after I tell Charlie to set up an appointment with that other bodyguard company.”
He grinned. “There’s my girl,” he said.
As he walked Mamie back toward the park, she glanced at her watch. If she waited five more minutes, she would have been at the café for half an hour and except for that little bit of anxiety she’d suffered after Charlie’s call, she’d had a pleasant time. Just as Ben had said earlier, she had her father to partially thank for that. Despite her anxiety, she’d acted confident. She’d smiled. And she’d survived.
Fake it till you make it, right, Daddy?
While Richard Bailey hadn’t suffered from anxiety, both Kat and her mother did. And despite the stress and long hours he’d experienced as a congressman, he’d had nothing but time and patience for them, teaching them skills to distract themselves and act more confident.
That was the most important lesson she’d learned from her father before he’d died: If she acted confident, she’d feel confident and people would respond accordingly.
“Appearing insecure is what makes most people victims, Kat,” her father had said. “If you project confidence, most of the time people will leave you alone.”
Kat had gotten very good at projecting confidence. She’d done it for years, and had a successful acting career as a result of it. A career she wasn’t going to give up without a fight.
Ben was right. Not about finding a man to fuck, but about her loving the career she worked so hard to have, and finding someone to protect her—temporarily—until all this craziness blew over. She didn’t like it, but she’d muddle through.
Seven minutes later, she gathered her things. She slipped on her purse and headed toward the garage where she’d parked her car. For now, she’d f
ocus on hiring the best bodyguard she could, even if he would technically be second to the actual best.
No biggie, Mr. Indigo. I survived today. I’ll continue to survive. With or without you.
Chapter Two
In the two weeks since he’d seen Kat Bailey, Luke hadn’t been able to stop thinking about her. Truth was, he’d been doing far more than just thinking.
He’d watched every one of her movies, both the ones he’d already seen and the ones he hadn’t. And he’d Googled her several times, albeit making sure to avoid the leaked nude photos of her (which he had to admit had taken more will power on his part than he’d thought it would) and keeping his searches confined to her activities over the past two weeks. That way, he could tell himself he was simply curious about how she was faring under Myers’s care and not obsessed, but he knew he was walking a fine line there.
Just this morning, he’d bought a magazine with her face on the cover. According to the article he’d read, she was getting to the end of her latest press tour and was already in negotiations for another film.
With a curse, Luke stood from where he’d been squatting down in his garage and working on his Indian motorcycle. He swiped his arm against his forehead and resisted the urge to kick the bike’s tire. It absolutely infuriated him that no matter how hard he tried, thoughts of Bailey kept leaking into his brain. The only time he could halfway keep thoughts of her at bay was when he was working, but he’d taken this particular week off, knowing that the upcoming anniversary of his father’s death would hit him hard as it always did. Now, with all the down time he had, thoughts of Bailey were never too far away.
Once again, Luke started fiddling with the bike but thirty minutes later, he finally gave up, put away his tools and called his friend and business partner, Cole Novak. “What are you and Jill doing tonight?” he asked when Cole picked up the phone.
“Jeez. Let me think. Maybe we’ll read the same book, and debate its themes, lingering over the best ones. We’ll touch on the main topics. Then who knows? Maybe full penetration of the subject matter will ultimately take place.”
Luke rolled his eyes. “You’re an idiot,” he said with a smile.
“I’m an idiot in love,” Cole said, voice full of conviction.
That he was, and Luke couldn’t be happier for him. His friend had been struggling for months ever since his mother had passed from cancer. Then he’d met Jill, a day care provider who’d lived next door to his mother in the rental house Cole inherited when his mother died. In just a short time, Jill had entranced the hard-core single biker. On the outside they were an unlikely couple, but once he’d met Jill, Luke had clearly seen they were made for each other.
“So, idiot,” Luke said. “Do you have plans or not?”
“Okay, okay. Shit, what’s your problem? We’ve got no plans. Why?”
“I need company. Bring Jill and a cooler of beer. I’ll throw some steaks on the grill and we can hang out.”
“Sounds good. See you around six?”
After Luke hung up, he put his running shoes on. He was lucky enough to live in the Hollywood Hills, far from the sprawling city below him. The views from his front yard were spectacular, and the area offered some of the best running and hiking trails that the greater Los Angeles area had to offer.
A cold shower and two hours later, Cole and Jill arrived. Cole’s arms were laden down with grocery bags. He handed one to Luke and gave him a chin tilt before heading for the kitchen. Luke kissed Jill on the cheek. “You didn’t have to bring groceries, Jill. I invited you, I’ll handle the cooking.”
She smiled. “No offense, but last time we came over for a barbecue you had meat and beer.”
Luke chuckled. “I was planning on buying some vegetables for Cole to chop but…” But he’d gotten distracted by his run. And his lingering thoughts about Bailey.
“I got you covered,” Jill said. She gave Luke a quick hug. “You handle the meat and Cole. I’ll do the rest.”
“So I get stuck babysitting, too?”
“Isn’t that what you do best?”
Luke looked over at Cole as he came out of the kitchen, twisting the top off a beer. Luke was a big guy, but Cole could dwarf a room full of defensive linemen. His massive biceps and shoulders were covered with tattoos and he was fond of wearing his dark hair on the long side. He was the kind of guy women dropped their panties for and men instinctively avoided. The sight of Cole and Jill together might give a person pause, with her small stature and delicate curves. Yet underneath all of that, she matched Cole in both the wildness of her personality and her emotional strength.
Luke tried to picture himself with a woman like Jill someday, building a life together. In his imagination, that woman was here in the backyard, barbecuing with him and laughing with his friends.
And for some reason she was wearing a fancy white jumper and a damned braid he wanted to unwind so fucking bad.
Jesus, he needed to get Kat Bailey out of his head.
He cleared his throat. What had he and Jill been talking about? Right. Babysitting, Cole specifically. “I can handle Cole, but I usually pick my clients more wisely,” Luke joked.
Cole brought the beer to his lips along with his middle finger. After he took a long swig from it he said, “Speaking of choosing clients, have you touched base with Guy Myers about whether Kat Bailey’s manager called him?”
“I have. He did. Myers has had a man on her for the past two weeks.”
Jill raised on her tippy-toes and kissed Cole’s cheek. “I’m going to start the potatoes while the two of you discuss the sex-pot,” she said.
Luke laughed and Cole reached out and smacked her butt as she went into the kitchen.
“Come on, let’s go out to the patio and check on the meat,” Luke said.
Cole followed him out. Luke’s patio was huge with a full bar on one side and a Jacuzzi on the other. An Olympic-sized salt-water pool sat in the center and was surrounded by lush green bushes and blossoming flowers. It was a tranquil setting, especially at night when the lights of the city glimmered off in the distance.
Luke pulled up the lid of the grill and poked at the meat. When he looked back up, Cole was staring at him.
“What happened?” Cole asked.
“Nothing happened.”
“Bullshit. You told me you didn’t want to accept the job with Bailey because she originally didn’t want protection and we agreed a reluctant client is a dangerous client, but I can tell there’s another reason you turned the job down. What’s wrong? She a little too gorgeous up close?”
When Luke just stared at Cole, not denying it, Cole grinned, then whistled. “You’re shitting me. You’re going to ask her out?”
“What? God, no.”
“But you want to?”
No, asking her out wasn’t what he wanted. He wanted to get her horizontal and naked. But again, not going to happen. Even if they’d actually met and she’d been attracted to him as much as he was to her, it still wouldn’t happen.
Luke flipped over the steaks.
Cole finished his beer, walked over to toss it in the trash, and then flipped on the sixty-inch television over the bar, choosing the Sports Channel before turning back to Luke. “Sooo…” he drawled.
“What?” Luke growled.
Cole cocked an eyebrow and smiled slightly. “You never answered me. You tempted to ask Bailey out? Because the fact you can’t even admit it tells me your feelings for her are pretty intense and you’re trying to wrangle them into submission.”
Luke narrowed his eyes. Sometimes he enjoyed that Cole knew him so well and sometimes he hated it. This time was one of the latter. “She’s gorgeous. Did she make me hard? Sure. But other than that, I have no feelings for her and I have no intention of seeing her again.”
Luke turned back to the steaks.
Cole smiled and shrugged. “Okay, fine. Moving on. I still haven’t heard from Eric. Have you?”
“No,” Luke said.
&nb
sp; Eric Davenport was one of Cole and Luke’s best friends. Several weeks ago, they’d been groomsmen at his wedding. Only the wedding hadn’t happened. Eric had jilted the bride, Brianne Whitcomb, the sister of one of their good friends, at the altar with only a mysterious text for explanation. Then he’d vanished. He’d sent them all an email, saying he was okay and would be in touch, but that was it.
Cole started to say something else but Jill yelled from inside, “Luke, where is your garlic salt?”
“I’ll be right there,” he told her. He closed the lid on the grill. “I’ll be right back. Don’t touch my steaks.”
Cole mumbled, “yeah, sure,” and Luke knew Cole would have a chunk of meat in his mouth by the time he got back. Luke helped Jill find the spices and she whipped up a bowlful of garlic mashed potatoes and stir-fried about a dozen different vegetables. While they ate, Luke switched the television to the Entertainment Channel and turned down the sound. He would never admit it aloud, but he was hoping there’d be some mention of Kat.
“Mm, Luke, this steak is amazing,” Jill said.
“Thanks, so are your potatoes. If you cook like this all the time, you’re going to make my partner fat.”
Cole washed down a mouthful of potatoes with his beer. “I had to add an extra work-out to my routine. It was that or give up her cooking, which I couldn’t do. I’m addicted to it. Among other things.”
Jill smiled and gazed at Cole with such love that Luke felt a pang in his chest. He’d seen that expression before, when his mother had looked at his father. On the day of his father’s funeral, his mother seemed to have aged ten years. Losing his father when he was still a kid had been hard, of course, but watching his mother’s grief had been heartbreaking. Luke feared the possibility of leaving behind a woman who loved him that much. Even more, he feared loving a woman as much as his mother had loved his father, only to lose her and mourn her for the rest of his days.
He trusted Cole with his life, and they both made sure the men they hired were not only well-trained but decent human beings. It was doubtful he’d ever die like his father had—murdered by a suspect because his back-up failed to be there for him.
