by Sam Speed
'I don't suppose,' he said through gritted teeth, 'that you would have any idea where the paperwork is?'
'None at all,' I said without a blush, 'it might have got thrown out. Or maybe the lawyer dealing with her estate has it.'
I choked at the idea of Yvette having an estate. Still, I suppose her dingy, run down flat must count as an estate.
At that point, the charity people arrived with a large van and set about happily devouring the house contents like a bunch of locusts. DI Black reluctantly returned to his car where I could see him sitting seething. By the time the locusts had finished the house was stripped bare. Even the dirty cat dishes were gone.
One of the men shook my hand.
'Thank you so much for this,' he said. 'People are usually only interested in contributing to children or cancer charities. It's so nice when someone thinks of us.'
I was almost embarrassed by his gratitude, but after all, I hadn't done anything wrong. Yvette's cousins had an empty house, the charity had a van full of junk to sell and Jean and I had what we wanted.
The only one who was not happy was DI Black. He watched the clear out, then drove off lights flashing and siren blaring. It must have been time for his tea break.
At home, I looked at the box with Yvette's copious and disorganised paperwork, but I couldn't face it on my own. Besides, Jean had been anxious for us to do it together. So, I let Snowball settle back down on top of it.
#
'Who is our main suspect today?' I asked, looking in despair at the mess of paper.
'The father?' Jean seemed to be having a moment of inspiration.
'What?'
'Who was he? A married man?'
'Could be,' I said. Jean was right. Why didn't we have any clue who he was?
'Maybe he wanted to stop her telling his wife,' Jean said.
'Or,' I replied, 'the wife found out and murdered Yvette.'
'Or Yvette broke up with him.'
'We need to try and find out who he is. Who could tell us? Not Suzy or Lorna. They would have said.'
'Do you think she's likely to have left a note with "I slept with so and so and now I'm expecting his baby"?'
Jean sounded serious but I could see the tell-tale twitch as one side of her mouth curved up.
'Take a tip and don't ever try to play poker,' I said with an equally serious expression.
A confused expression flitted across her face and then she laughed. One of the things I liked about Jean was the way she always seemed to understand what I meant rather than what I said. There weren't many people who understood the way I thought.
'Here,' I said, handing her the bulk of the papers, 'you can try these for her confession and I'll try what's left.'
'It seems like a fair split,' she said, deftly swapping the two piles of papers. 'But I still say we should have nabbed her laptop before the cousins removed it.'
'I would have tried, but it was about the only thing in the house worth any money. And that seemed to be all they were interested in.'
'True. Family love is a wonderful thing.'
'I wouldn't worry. It looked pretty ancient. I can't see them getting much for it.'
'What are we looking for?' said Jean, 'A heart with "Yvette loves father of child" in it?'
'That would be ideal. We'll concentrate on anything that might lead us to the father. But keep your eyes open for anything that could be a clue like "Yvette is afraid of murderer". Check any bank statements for unusual amounts going in or out.'
'What's unusual?'
'Oh, with Yvette,' I said, 'anything over a couple of pounds.'
We laughed and settled in for a long boring afternoon.
I was feeling drowsy and almost nodding off over yet another advertising leaflet when I felt Jean sit bolt upright.
'Hell's bells,' she said, 'I know how Yvette got pregnant.'
Jean sat staring at the piece of paper on her lap with her mouth hanging open, but no words coming out of it.
I crawled around behind her and said, 'If you don't tell me what you've found, the bold detective might have another murder he can't solve.'
We were play wrestling for the paper when I heard a gentle knock at the door. I hoped my face wasn't as flushed as Jean's when I opened it.
'Hi there,' Dawn breezed in, then noticed Jean. 'Oh hi, Jean I didn't know you were here.'
'Jean's helping me figure out Yvette's paperwork,' I said. 'She has found something she has yet to share with me.' I raised an eyebrow and Jean choked.
She waved the piece of paper under my nose.
I grabbed it from her and looked at it.
'Oh,' I said, 'I see what you mean.'
'What?' said Dawn, her voice full of curiosity.
I hid a smile and handed her the paper. Dawn's eyes widened.
It was a receipt for payment from a fertility clinic on the successful completion of Yvette's IVF treatment.
'I don't understand,' said Dawn, 'why would she use IVF?' Didn't she know she could get pregnant?'
I love Dawn to bits but sometimes she's not the brightest spark.
Speaking gently, as I only do to Dawn, I said, 'I rather think that was the idea.'
'But why would she want to have a baby on her own?'
'Some women do. They go on about biological clocks ticking or how they haven't found the right man.'
I noticed Jean had flushed red.
'You mean she wanted to bring up a child on her own?' Dawn sounded amazed. 'But it's difficult enough bringing up children with two parents.'
'It's not anything I've ever thought about,' I said. 'I can't think of anything worse than having a baby puking and shitting all over the place. Or a toddler wrecking everything and terrorising poor Snowball. As for teenagers...'
Jean and Dawn looked at me and I checked my head for horns. But I wasn't finished.
'Then there's the problem with income when you're on your own. You either have to struggle by on benefits. Or else you go back to work and let someone else bring up the child you were so keen to have.'
I could see a light bulb clicking on above Dawn's head. She would be remembering single mothers she knew who had never had a long-term partner. The ones she thought were unfortunate to fall pregnant. Her eyes widened again, the bright amber of her irises shining out. I gazed at them. I could happily drown in her eyes.
With a start, I remembered about Jean and dragged my eyes away from Dawn.
'Well one thing,' Jean said, 'It's unlikely the father of her child killed her. She might not even have known him.'
'So we're back to square one?' said Dawn.
'Not entirely,' I said, 'we know who had the opportunity to put the berries in the hall. That's everyone. And we know who hated her enough to kill her. And that's just about everyone as well.'
'Why don't we talk to Angela?' said Jean, 'she and Yvette hated each other. And they worked together. It couldn't have been easy.'
'Good idea. And while we're at it, she's always going on about being on that Healthy Working Lives committee at the call centre. Why don't we offer to do a free talk and exercise class at her work? Drum up some customers.'
I could see from Jean's half smile she knew exactly what I was planning. But dear, sweet, innocent Dawn thought I was only thinking of her.
Jean had to go to work which left me alone with Dawn for the first time in several weeks.
Dawn looked like she had something on her mind.
'C'mon spill it,' I said.
Dawn sighed.
'I didn't know a single woman could have IVF,' she said.
'I don't know why anyone would want to,' I replied.
'What if there was no other way?'
'Then get on with your life without children. A much better idea in my opinion.'
'But you're not maternal. What if you wanted a child and it didn't happen. And then your husband left you for a woman who could and did get pregnant.'
By this time tears were rolling down her face. I had n
o idea she wanted a child so much and I thought I knew everything about her.
'Were you trying for a child with Donald? Did you imagine that Donald would come back to you if you were pregnant?'
'We were trying, but Donald's content with his new family, and I'm happy for him. I want a child for me, but I never dreamt I could have one on my own. I was so jealous when I heard Yvette was pregnant. I thought it must be an accident and it didn't seem fair.'
'Well if you want to find out about it, make an appointment with your doctor and when you go to the clinic I'll come with you. But the best thing might be to go private like Yvette.'
'Thanks. You're a great friend, but I'll leave it for now while Michael and I are still getting to know each other. My getting pregnant might put him off a bit.'
Jean and I stopped Angela on her way out after class, the next Thursday. Wendy stood off to the side so she could say she wasn't involved. Dawn was busy with a few stragglers.
'I wanted to make sure you're ok now,' I said, ignoring Jean's half smile. 'You were so upset when Yvette died.'
'I know it was silly of me. It's not like she was a nice person. It's just... I did know her well. The thing is... I've never seen anyone die before.'
Jean's eyes widened in surprise. Death was a natural part of the lifecycle to us so sometimes we forgot it was a major event to other people.
'You and Angela made a convincing show of being rivals,' said Jean.
'Oh yes. It was just a joke,' said Angela dragging out every word.
I had 90-year-old men in my ward who showed more sign of life than Angela. If this was what healthy living did to you, I was glad I took no part in it. We were getting nowhere. Time for a bit of inspired guesswork.
'I heard you fought over that guy you used to be engaged to,' I said.
Bingo.
Angela glared at me.
'It was my choice to break off the engagement,' she said. 'Yvette did me a favour showing James up for what he was.'
'I'm sure that's why she did it,' I fished for more details.
'I doubt that very much,' said Angela, her voice hard, 'but I blamed him for sleeping with her. Yvette was a slut who would sleep with anyone. It didn't mean anything to her. But James was engaged. I realised when he slept with her, he would never have been faithful. I'm glad I found out before the wedding.'
She sounded genuine and Jean shrugged when I raised my eyebrow in enquiry.
'You're better off without him,' said Jean.
'I know. I was glad to see the back of him, but I wouldn't be surprised if Yvette did it just to spite me. She was a lot sneakier than people realised. She was always wandering about at work spying on people.'
Angela looked at us anxiously. Possibly she wanted to know if she had convinced us.
'She wanted to know everyone else's secrets,' she said, 'but she never let on about her own. There was the time I was in a Glasgow shop for a coffee. I noticed Yvette in the cafe below me at another table. She had a small notebook. I couldn't make out any words because I was too high up, but a couple of pages had two narrow columns which looked like numbers. She kept flicking through the pages without looking at them, then a couple of times she would make a brief note and then start her flicking again.'
Angela checked to see she had our interest. She did.
'She was sitting at a big table and all she had on it was a small cup of coffee in the middle. But she had the notebook half hanging off the table. When a man sat at the table next her, she pulled the notebook off the table and wrote in her lap.
I wondered what on earth that was about.
'Whatever she was up to,' Angela said, 'it was no good. She seemed very keen to keep that notebook to herself. If you find it, I'll bet you'll find out what she's been up to.'
'I wonder where it could be,' said Jean. 'I'm sure we'd have noticed it among her papers.'
'We'll never know then,' I replied signalling Jean with my eyes not to discuss this now.
'True enough,' said Jean as though she had lost all interest.
'Never mind all that,' I said. 'We've got an idea for your work. Why don't we do a free class and talk on the Dinosaur Diet and foraging? You could organise it through your Healthy Working Lives group.'
Angela's eyes lit up. I could imagine her thinking about the brownie points she would get for the suggestion.
'My managers are keen to do anything they can to help the staff,' she said as though she believed it.
After Angela left we discussed what she had said.
'Where could we look for this notebook that Angela mentioned?' said Dawn.
'Well, it's not in the house. It's empty,' said Jean. 'Shame. I don't see how we can find it now.'
'What happened to all her stuff?' asked Dawn.
'We gave it to a charity. Odds are they'll have chucked most of it out by now,' I said. 'Still, we could go to the shop and see if any of her stuff is still there and have a search through to see what we can find.'
'I can't get involved in public,' said Wendy. 'Detective Black has warned me off telling you anything.'
'What is wrong with that man,' I said. 'He's the one who decided it was natural causes. And why was he hanging about Yvette's house the day we cleared it out?'
'He's having second thoughts,' said Wendy. 'He was so keen to get the case closed that he sold natural causes to his boss. Now he's not so sure but he won't admit he might have been wrong.'
'Well we'll have to prove it to him,' I said. 'My next day off is Monday unless any of you want to go before that.'
'I can't go before Monday,' said Jean, 'I need to get back to the gym. If I don't carry on with my weight training soon, the nice little lady muscles you like so much will turn into old lady flab. But I'm off Monday as well and I'll come with, let's make it early before the shop gets busy.'
'If they were desperate enough to take Lisa's stuff,' I said, 'I can't see the shop being busy. It's not like they are selling quality items.'
I was right. When we turned up at the charity shop the next Monday, the place was empty.
The driver of the collection van was serving in the shop. It seemed they had as few volunteers as they had people to donate. He recognised me and looked as though he was torn between hoping I was bringing more donations or wanting to hide Yvette's stuff in case I asked for it back.
'Hello there,' I said, 'what a lovely shop you have here.'
I was getting good at this white lie business.
He looked around proudly at the piles of junk dumped indiscriminately around and smiled his thanks.
'Could you tell me where the items you picked up at my friend's house are?' I asked. 'Her cousins are anxious to have a picture with the three of them together, but it's not in the stuff they took. They asked if we could have a look for it.'
'Of course,' he said looking relieved. 'I haven't had a chance to sort it out yet so everything is in the back shop. I'm Tony by the way.'
'Thanks, Tony.'
He showed us where Yvette's stuff was and left us to our sift.
Two hours later we were dusty and disheartened when Tony popped his head in and asked if we'd like a cup of tea. We gratefully accepted.
Tony stayed in the back with us while we drank and looked around at the piles we had made.
'It's so good of you to spend the time sorting everything while you look.'
Jean coughed as she choked on the tea she was drinking and I fussed around her to hide my laughter.
Browsing through a large box of books, Tony said, 'Your friend had some great books.'
I looked inside. I wouldn't have thought Yvette was much of a reader but she did have a reasonable collection. Most were tatty paperbacks or seemingly unopened cookbooks. Tattiest among the paperbacks were three books which had been popular a few years back for their mildly pornographic story line. They had been read so much the pages were starting to fall out.
Then it occurred to me where better to hide a notebook than among other books. I persu
aded Tony he should be watching the shop.
As soon as he left we started digging in among the books. A black notebook raised my hopes but turned out to be yet more recipes. We had just about given up when Jean dropped one of the few hardback books onto the floor. It fell open and there inside was a small soft covered notebook. Jean looked at it as though it would sting her. Then we both reached for it at the same time and bumped our heads together. We laughed then Jean sneaked the notebook into her bag and we dumped everything else back in the boxes.
'Sorry Tony we have to go now,' I called, as we rushed out of the shop door.
A Little Light Reading
When we got to my place, Dawn and Wendy were already there and we crowded around the notebook.
The first half contained snippets of information each marked with a set of initials. The second half of the book consisted of columns with sums of money. Each entry also had initials beside it. A quick glance at the notes showed the initials matched the comments in the first half. A few were easy to work out as people we knew.
'Is this money she's getting from these people?' Dawn said. 'Did she run a catalogue or club?'
'No way Yvette would do anything to help other people like running a club,' I said. 'And I'm sure if she had a catalogue she'd have been pestering everyone to buy something.
It was when we came to Mary's initials before quite a large amount that we all twigged at the same time.
'Yvette was a blackmailer,' we chorused.
'I hate to say this,' said Wendy, 'but I should take this into work.'
'What for?' said Jean, 'so Mr "I'm Amazing" can fail to act on it? Or take the credit for finding it.'
'Jean's got a good point,' I said. 'And how would you explain that you were here helping us?'
'You could say you were investigating strange payments into Yvette's bank.'
A remarkably sensible suggestion from Dawn.
'Wouldn't work. I have no excuse for looking at her bank account since Mr Wonderful,' Wendy smiled at Jean, 'has declared her death an accident. Besides, there was nothing interesting in her bank account. If she was blackmailing people she did it in cash.'
'And that probably means,' I said, 'that she also did it in person. So, everyone knew who was blackmailing them.'
