My body shuddered as I woke from my dream. It had been vivid. The pain of loss still lingered in my chest.
‘I’m pleased you’re awake.’ Natalie was sitting by my bed. Her ponytail swung forward as she reached for a cup of water. Her cheeks were red. She wore her jogging gear. She looked at me from under her mascaraed lashes as she sipped. She liked to do her full on makeup when she wasn’t working out but she would never go out without a bit of mascara on.
‘You again.’
I didn’t mean to be so blunt. I wished I could pull the words back as soon as they hit her. She flinched but didn’t move. I had woken with the memory of hatred so deep inside, that I had hit out without meaning to.
‘The doctor is coming to talk about the operation.’
I ran a hand over my hair and tried to think of a way to ask her to leave. She owed me nothing. It wasn’t like she was my girlfriend. In fact, I should be looking for my soulmate. That was my mission, wasn’t it? To be with my soulmate so we could defeat the Dysfunctionals. There was no way I was going to do that now. I had epically failed.
‘It’s exciting, isn’t it?’
I raised my eyebrows at her, which made her sit back in the chair.
‘Don’t be like that. You’ve woken up grumpy.’
‘I’m sorry.’
The doctor came in and sat with us. He had another man with him. They both looked excited. I didn’t feel the same. I wanted my old legs back.
‘Aries, we’ve managed to book you in for an operation in six months’ time.’
‘Six months?’
They expected me not to walk for six months? I would go insane.
‘We’re sorry. It’s the earliest we could get. We want to complete the procedure soon to lessen recovery time but there are only a small amount of clinical procedures we can do a year.’ The doctor opened a book and started to show me pictures of the amputees that had undergone ITAP.
‘Let me show you how the operation will work.’
Natalie was fixated on the other doctor. He was young, and if I had to admit it to myself, a handsome bugger. A hot flush ran over my skin. She wanted him more than she wanted me. Why was she even in the room?
‘We will fuse the metal to your bone. There is a company that have studied the way antlers work in animals. They have managed to come up with a solution that prevents infection. It helps the metal fuse to your bone and persuades the body that it’s part of the skeletal structure. This will leave the attachment coming out of the end of your stump. You will then be able to attach any type of prosthetic you like. There will be no soreness on your skin. Your skeleton should be able to feel where your prosthetic is.’
I heard his words but didn’t take them in. My mind was racing and my heart skipped. It sounded good.
‘You’re a fit, healthy man. There should be no reason why you can’t go back to your old life.’
‘You think I can be the same after this?’ I gestured to the bottom of the bed.
‘Aries…!’ Natalie gasped.
‘What…? It’s true. I can never go back to my old life. The fire service won’t let me work for them with fake legs. I won’t be able to help my brothers and sisters. I won’t be able to meet my soulmate.’
Her hand went to her chest as she scrambled out of her chair and grabbed her bag. She left the room, ignoring the hunky doctor as she went. It didn’t make me feel any better.
‘This is a hard time for you. The one thing you need right now, are the people that love you,’ the older doctor said.
‘She doesn’t love me,’ I replied. ‘Now back to the operation. How long will it take to recover?’
The doctor welcomed the change of subject. I was glad that Natalie had gone. She didn’t need to hear about my new legs. Her being there had made me feel less of a man and more of a failure.
‘It will take a while to recover but you’ll be walking again within a year.’
I closed my eyes and tried to picture what I would look like on the legs I had seen Paralympics use. I had admired their strength. I wasn’t sure I could be the same as them.
‘You are well enough to go home if you want. You’ll need to come in for check-ups to make sure you’re healing but everything looks great at the moment.’
Could my brothers and sisters look after me? An image of Mother came into my mind and for a moment, I longed for her to come and take care of me. Just like a mother should.
I hadn’t known that she had gone off with the enemy. She had always stuck by us. We thought it was to protect the mission. It seemed that she had switched teams and wanted to hinder, not help.
‘Is there anyone I can call? Your family have informed me that they’ve made some changes to your home to accommodate you. I’ve told them about how to care for you—’
‘You what…?’
The red that flushed his cheeks grew brighter as I stared at him. I could say no more. If I did, I would jump from the bed and rip his head off, even without my legs.
‘You were here when I spoke with them. Do you not remember?’
I had been in my own little world for the last few days.
‘You will be given a wheelchair and be taught how to transfer. When you’re efficient at moving, you can go home. Natalie has informed me that she is actually a trained physiotherapist. As she is not your next of kin, or a partner, she has offered to assist you with your home rehab. I’ve checked out her credentials, and for a young woman, she is perfectly qualified.’ The doctor went to stand but stopped himself. ‘Do you have any questions?’
‘Yes. Can I have a different physio?’
How dare Natalie sign up for the job of looking after me? She hadn’t even asked if I wanted her help.
‘She told me that you would say that. If you’re not satisfied with her work after a week, we will change her.’
They had it all planned out for me so there was no point in even saying anything. What had I done to deserve it?
‘You also have a psychiatrist appointment this afternoon.’
I glared at him as he left, telling me to get in contact if I had any questions. I gritted my teeth together and let the sharp pain radiate down my body. At least it made me feel something. I didn’t want to see anyone. I didn’t want to go home and be pitied, I just wanted to die.
Chapter Six
‘You have no choice,’ the deep voice said.
I looked up into his eyes and growled deep in my chest. I was on the ground, kneeling. His grey eyes were familiar but I couldn’t place who he was.
‘I said…do it!’
I jumped up suddenly and took the gun he offered. I glanced over my shoulder. She watched me closely. Her long blonde hair curled at the ends. Her eyes pleaded with me as I took a step towards her. Her wrists were tied to the wall by chains. The dungeon was dark. The light of the fire helped me to see. The man behind me chuckled and I froze. How dare he make me kill my lover?
‘I won’t do it!’
I spun and aimed the gun at his chest. He shook his head as the smile fell from his lips. ‘Every lifetime. This is getting so boring. I thought I had you then. I thought you would willingly kill your twin flame soulmate. I’m getting fed up of having to do it.’
‘I will kill you!’ I shouted, firing the old musket.
She screamed as he fell to the ground. The sound echoed around us. I went to her and tried to undo the chains but they were locked around her wrist.
‘You need to get out of here,’ she whispered.
I buried my head in her neck and kissed her gently. ‘I’m so sorry for this. Loving me has caused you nothing but grief. I will release you and then you have to run away. You can’t love me anymore.’
I heard a grunt behind us and spun to see our enemy moving.
‘He’s not dead,’ she said. ‘I can never leave you.’
I went over to the man and drew my foot back. Letting it sail through the air, I put as much force behind the kick as possible. My foot connected with his head.
It snapped back and the groaning stopped. He went completely still. I searched his pockets. He stank of unwashed peasantry. I didn’t smell much better but I gagged anyway. There was a metal object in his pocket. I grinned when I pulled out the key.
‘You can leave me. You have to. He’ll hunt us down until one of us is dead. I will gladly die but I want you to live.’
She sobbed as I grabbed the chains and unlocked the clasps that held her captive. ‘Please don’t make me go.’
As soon as she was free, she pulled my head down to kiss her. My heart almost exploded at the heat that overtook me. I wasn’t an emotional person but her kiss made me crave so much more.
‘Let’s go.’
I pulled her towards the heavy wooden door. Our enemy had left it unlocked. We were low in the castle. The sound of the king and his men feasting, filtered down to us. My father knew nothing about the grey eyed man and his reason for being in his country.
We rushed into the stone corridor. I paused, uncertain of what way to turn.
‘Shall we tell your father?’
My lover looked towards the stone steps that led upwards.
A part of me wanted to go to the king and ask him to help but he wouldn’t approve. My love wasn’t of noble birth. She wasn’t even Scottish.
‘No, you must leave, my love. You must go far away and marry a nice man that can take care of you.’
Guilt washed over me as I realised how badly I had compromised her. Everyone in the palace knew that we were in love but my father had refused to let me wed her. Now, she would go and marry someone else. The thought made me curl my hand around her arm.
‘Ouch!’ she yelped.
I let her go and kissed her quickly. The grey eyed man was moving around in the dungeon.
‘You have to go,’ I hissed, pushing her towards the steps that led to the boats at the bottom of the castle.
She grabbed my hand. ‘I don’t want to leave you.’
‘If you stay, they’ll kill you. I have no idea if my father ordered this,’ I blurted.
Her hand came to her mouth and her smooth cheeks paled. ‘You don’t want me then?’
I looked into her eyes and knew that I had to save her. ‘No, I don’t want you. I want to be king more than anything. I won’t let you ruin that.’
I pushed her towards the top step. She spun to me, kissed my hand with a chaste touch of the lips and left me standing there. I listened to the sound of her dainty feet hitting the stone as she descended and left my life forever. I was going to kill my father for forcing me to make my heart leave. It broke then. My actual heart went up in flames.
‘That was very sensible. Let’s hope she stays away.’
I turned to see the grey eyed man. I had never seen him in the castle before but I recognised him.
‘She will stay away so you will leave her alone. I order it.’
‘You may be a prince but I take orders from no one.’
My heart hardened as he limped up the stairs to join the feast. I would never love another, or marry a Scottish princess. My heart belonged to one woman and she was no longer with me. I would never forgive myself for sending her away but I would rule my people when the time came.
*
My eyes fluttered open as the door clicked shut. The woman in my dream had come into my hospital room but she had dark hair. Her eyes were exactly the same. She smiled gently. I smiled in return. My love had come back to me.
‘Are you feeling better today?’
Her voice wasn’t as light as my lovers. I frowned. It wasn’t her. I wasn’t in a castle in Scotland. I was in a hospital room in London, many years later.
‘I keep dreaming,’ I said. ‘Of past lifetimes.’
She nodded slowly as she came and sat next to me.
‘I think…you were with me…’
She smiled gently and reached forward to take my hand. ‘That’s cool. What happened?’
I closed my eyes to try and grab back the memory but it faded quickly. ‘I’m not sure. I do know that I was a prince, and you were a pauper.’
She laughed. The sound lifted me for the first time in days.
‘Is it your last day in here?’ she asked.
I nodded. ‘As long as I make three successful transfers before I go, I’m free.’
I didn’t know how I felt. One minute, I was happy to go home but then the next, I wasn’t. My brothers and sisters had visited me in hospital but they had got on with their own lives. I tried to get them to talk about our father and the rescue mission but they didn’t want to stress me out.
‘How did your session with—’
‘I don’t want to talk about it.’
My psychiatrist was an older man that seemed nice enough. I didn’t like how he was trying to get me to show emotion, though. I was fine. I didn’t need to be analysed.
‘Okay, Aries. I’m going to miss your cheerful face,’ the nurse said, coming into the room.
‘And I’m going to miss your bed baths,’ I replied, grinning as she slapped me playfully on the arm. She wheeled the chair over. She had helped me get dressed but I had put my covers back over me. I couldn’t stand to look at the bandaged ends of my legs sticking out of my shorts. I drew the covers back and glanced at Natalie. She kept her gaze on mine and didn’t flinch. I didn’t want her to be there but I had no choice.
‘Come on then, fireman,’ the nurse cajoled.
I laughed and grabbed the arms of the chair. I had practiced ever since they had given me permission to move. I threw myself in the seat a bit too eagerly. Pushing my weight with my arms, I settled in.
‘He’s a pro,’ the nurse said to Natalie.
‘He’s a fighter,’ Natalie replied.
I looked at her and saw a single tear fall from her cheek. My back went stiff but I quickly realised that she was proud. Not one ounce of pity showed on her face. It made me puff my chest as I grabbed hold of the bed rails and pulled myself back on.
‘I don’t know why we’re even testing you. I know you can do it. The doctor has already said that you’re ready to go home.’
I did the transfer again, feeling a wave of power wash over me. I was extremely fit when I had the accident but my muscles had started to waste away. Once the wheelchair was brought to my room, I got to practice straight away. I wasn’t going to let it beat me.
‘Okay, that’s enough, pretty boy.’ The nurse stopped me when I reached for the bed rails again. ‘You’re free to go home.’
I froze as Natalie stood and picked up my packed bag. It was time for my new life. I didn’t know if I could do it. I had been in hospital for a week. I was no longer the person that I had been when I had come through the door in front of me. The nurse came behind me and pushed me through it. I rested my arms on my thighs, trying to keep my gaze away from my stumps. The other nurses waved goodbye as we left.
‘You’ve made quite an impression, I see,’ Natalie said when one young nurse kissed me on the cheek.
In the past she would have been jealous. A bit like I had been when she eyed up the young doctor.
She would have gone all stiff and grumpy. Now, she laughed and put her hand on my shoulder briefly. Did my disability make her feel more secure?
‘Aries, it’s been a pleasure looking after you. I can’t wait to see you walk in here to visit me soon!’
I hugged the nurse that had taken care of me. She squeezed me tight and I returned the gesture. She was the closest thing to a mother I’d had for a while and I didn’t want to let her go.
‘Here’s your ride,’ Natalie said.
The nurse pulled away and left us. I glanced over the car park to see the old post office minibus. The back door was open and a ramp stuck out. Natalie grabbed hold of my chair and wheeled me across the concrete. The tyres squeaked as we moved across the ground. It was a foreign sound. One that I would have to get used to over the coming months.
‘Aries…!’ Leo greeted as we approached.
I didn’t know whether
to laugh, or cry. He was on his own. I was grateful for that. I had hoped my siblings would respect me enough to let me get on with it. It looked like they were doing that.
‘Good to see you, mate,’ I muttered, swallowing hard.
Natalie let go of the chair and Leo stepped forward. He patted me on the back, avoiding eye contact. Taking hold of the handles, he pushed me up the ramp and into the back of the van. A couple of seats had been taken out to make room for the wheelchair.
‘I hope you kept the seats. You’ll be putting them back in soon.’
‘Of course I did,’ he replied, patting my back again.
Prickles tightened my skin. He was trying to reassure me but he made it worse. He got out as Natalie climbed in beside me. She fastened the brakes and sat in one of the remaining seats.
I fought the urge to punch the seat in front of me. ‘This bloody sucks arse,’ I mumbled as Leo climbed in the driver seat.
‘Yes, it does,’ Natalie replied.
My gaze shot to her. She was smiling, which made me lighter. She had never put up with my childish tendencies. She always ignored them.
‘Why are you here?’ I asked.
She didn’t say anything.
Leo rescued her by shouting back to me. ‘I got a record contract, mate.’
My mood was swinging from happy, to sad, to angry and I didn’t quite know what to do with myself. ‘That’s amazing. Good job.’
They went silent when they heard how false my words were. I meant them. I just couldn’t muster the enthusiasm needed. They looked away from me, leaving me alone to my thoughts. I stared at the passing streets of London as we made our way home.
Chapter Seven
The front door loomed at the top of the steps. The ramp leading up to it was a reminder of my missing limbs. Every part of me wanted to stay at the bottom. I didn’t have a choice, though, I had to face them sometime.
[Zodiac Twin Flames 01.0 - 03.0] Boxed Set Page 19
