‘I got your favourite bed cover.’ Pisces pointed at my fiery red duvet.
I uttered my thanks but didn’t look at her. The room looked like a sick room. It was like I was still in hospital. There was an en-suite bathroom. I could see straight into it. They had fitted a wet room with a pull down chair. Just like an old person’s shower.
‘You’re all unpacked. I’ve got to get going. You don’t need to do any exercises today,’ Natalie said, going to leave.
‘Where are you going?’ I snapped.
She ran a hand over my hair and looked down at me. The curls bounced on her palm. The first thing I needed, was a haircut. It had grown out, which made me look like a girl.
‘I’ve got a few things to do. I’ll be back tomorrow. The boys are going to help you get into bed.’
She turned and left without another word or backward glance. She probably had a date with an able bodied man.
‘It looks so clinical in here,’ I said, looking at Pisces.
Her face flushed. She must have sorted the adjustments. I didn’t care. I wasn’t in the mood to be nice. She went to fuss with something. When I frowned, she stepped towards the door.
‘I want to be left alone now.’
She nodded as tears sprung to her eyes. I was glad when she left without trying to convince me that everything was going to be all right. It wouldn’t. I picked up the nearest thing to me, which was a dirty magazine, and threw it towards the bathroom. The paper smoked as it flew. I needed to calm with my temper. If I wasn’t careful, I would start a fire. Maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing.
Chapter Eight
The ground smacked my cheek. I grunted as my breath left me. The carpet was rough against my skin. I came to and looked around me. It was dark, which told me that it was still the middle of the night. Was I in hospital?
‘Bloody hell,’ I moaned.
I had fallen out of my bed at home.
A part of me wanted to find the humour in the situation. I hadn’t fallen out of bed since I was a child. Another part wanted to throw a fireball at the stupid railings that I had forgotten to put up last night. The last part wanted to bury my face into the rough material that rubbed my cheek and sob like a baby.
‘Aries, are you okay?’
It was Scorpio. I hadn’t seen him since I had returned. Why was he outside my door? I didn’t know whether to tell him to go away, or get him to help me.
‘Yes, I’m fine,’ I shouted back.
I couldn’t let him see me sprawled on the floor. We had been warriors. We had fought side by side. I was no longer a warrior. No matter how much I hoped I could go back to how I once was, I had to accept that it wasn’t going to happen.
‘I’ve missed you, mate,’ Scorpio called out.
He wanted to talk but I couldn’t face him. There would be no more clubbing with him and Leo. There would be no pulling girls and bringing them back to our room to share. I was alone now. Stuck in a room that smelled of cleaning products.
I didn’t reply and eventually heard his footsteps move away. I pulled myself into a sit. The shadow of my legs looked odd against the carpet. They stopped where they shouldn’t. The bandages were bulky but the length was wrong. I grabbed hold of the skin on my thighs and squeezed hard. The pain shot through me but I didn’t stop. I wanted to feel. I needed to know that I still lived.
‘Crap!’
The smell of singed hair, and the sting of my burnt skin, made me pull my hands away. Gemini had been right. I needed to control my temper. It was no good sitting on the floor all night. I leant sideways to grab the wheel of my chair. I pulled hard and it started to fall on me. I managed to catch it with my other hand just before it hit. Using the momentum, I rocked it upright.
‘Will you just—!’ I hissed through gritted teeth as I pushed on the wheel. The chair flew away from me so I punched the floor.
The tears came. They ran down my cheeks and dripped onto my bare chest. I sat there feeling like half a man as my body shook.
‘Can I come in, mate?’
Scorpio was back. Why wouldn’t he go away? I didn’t need anyone to see me. The door opened and light flooded the room. I didn’t look up. I closed my eyes and pulled back the sobs that tried to escape.
He didn’t say anything. I heard him sit down in one of the armchairs. I was surprised. I thought he might try to help me but instead he gave me my space. I wiped my face and glanced over at him. His light hair was ruffled where he had run his hands through it, or had a woman do it for him.
His blue eyes pierced me when I dared to make eye contact. He had always seen straight through me. His tall frame slouched in the chair. He crossed his arms over his chest, causing his biceps to bulge.
His intense stare inspired me to move. I couldn’t sit there with him watching me. I would get in the bloody wheelchair. I would join my friend around the small table and talk to him, like old times.
‘It’s bloody cold in here,’ he said as I placed my fists on the carpet and lifted my body.
‘Turn the heating up then.’ I puffed as I swung myself towards the wheelchair.
Scorpio got up and grasped the handles. I glared at him. He stepped back and went to fiddle with the heating. I lifted myself and swung forward again. The muscles in my thighs burned as I struggled to keep them straight. My arms shook as I put my whole weight onto my fisted hands.
‘Got you a lager,’ Scorpio said, coming back into the room.
A bark of laughter left me. I hadn’t had a drink for a while. He was the first one to think of it, even though he didn’t drink himself.
‘Thanks.’ I grunted as I reached my new mode of transport.
I had never pulled myself into the chair from the floor before. I switched the brakes on and stopped for a moment. Scorpio handed me the can, and I clicked it open. I sipped the froth as it bubbled over and grinned at my friend. He was back in his seat, drinking from a mug.
‘That tastes good,’ I said, putting it on the floor beside me.
I glanced at my friend. He nodded. He wasn’t much of a talker in general but he was always there. A strong presence in a hard situation.
I felt small looking up at him but I wasn’t going to let that stop me. Reaching up, I put my hands on the wheelchair arms. I was lucky that my body was longer than average. I pulled myself onto my stumps. I almost collapsed as a shot of pain radiated through me, up into my head. I gasped, trying not to show weakness. They had warned me not to put any pressure on my stumps. Now I knew why.
‘Even without the bottom of your legs, you’re almost as tall as Cancer,’ Scorpio said.
I didn’t look up or reply. My teeth gritted tight together. I couldn’t say anything, even if I wanted to. Using my arms, I pulled on the arms of the chair again and managed to swing my body enough to get one of my butt cheeks on the seat. I hung off sideways before I shuffled around and somehow ended up in the chair properly.
‘I might get ridiculously long prosthetics so I look like I’m on stilts all the time.’
Scorpio spluttered his drink.
‘You git, I just burnt my tongue!’
I laughed as I tried to get my breath back. It felt good.
‘Thank you.’ The room fell silent.
‘What for?’ He blew into his cup. The brown liquid rose up in a wave. He pulled back quickly to avoid the splash. He often forgot that he could make liquid move. His power was one that I admired very much. In fact, I admired all of my siblings’ powers.
‘For not helping me.’
It was a strange thing to thank him for.
‘No use in helping you. You’ve got to get on with it, or you’ll never…’ His words trailed off but I knew what he meant. He didn’t want to say that I would never walk again but he was right. If I didn’t learn to do everything for myself, I would have less chance of surviving. I needed to do it on my own.
‘You know me too well,’ I muttered.
He nodded and ran his hand through his hair.
He bent down and grabbed it, holding it out of reach.
‘Say that again.’ He brought it forward and pulled back when I went to grab it.
‘I’m sorry. I forgot that we’d agreed not to take the piss out of your hair drying habit.’
He shook his head and thrust the lager towards me. I took it and saluted him with it.
‘Here’s to…’
I froze. There was nothing I could toast to. What did I have to look forward to?
‘Here’s to the fact that you’re still alive, you lucky son of a—’
‘Will you ladies keep the noise down?’ Leo sang as he came into the room.
The door was wide open. Leo had a six-pack hanging from his hand and a chocolate birthday cake in the other.
‘Whose birthday is it?’ Scorpio asked.
Leo’s darker blonde spikes had glitter in them. He stank of fags and alcohol. His T-shirt had his band logo on the front. It had been ripped at the back. He had obviously got lucky.
‘It’s my very happy un-birthday cake. I was on the way back from the club. I had worked up a bit of a sweat so I popped into the shop and saw this beauty.’ He sat in the other chair and put his stuff on the small table. ‘Who wants some?’
I smiled to myself as he ripped open the box and pulled the cake out very gently. He placed it on the table and looked at us.
‘I’m always up for some cake with my tea,’ Scorpio said.
Leo looked at me and pointed at our brother. His nickname was Grandpa. We hadn’t called him that in a while.
‘Grandpa’s back!’ I downed the rest of my lager.
‘Here, have some cake.’ Leo held his hand above the cake as if he was about to do a karate chop. He did actually karate chop it, sending chocolate icing flying everywhere.
‘Why didn’t you get a knife, you knob?’ Scorpio said.
Leo’s mouth dropped open. ‘I’ll have you know, I’m a black belt.’
‘Yeah, a black belt in bull crap,’ I joked.
They laughed as Leo somehow managed to cut the cake roughly in three. He picked up a chunk and handed it to me.
‘Why didn’t you—’ Scorpio started.
‘Why don’t you calm down, Grandpa,’ Leo said, handing him his slice.
For a moment I forgot about everything. I was back with my boys, and we were living life as we did before. We would often sit up in the middle of the night, eating and drinking. Especially if we had been on a night out.
‘Had fun tonight, then?’ I asked Leo.
‘Groupie…’ he answered, shoving the chocolate cake in his mouth and smearing it over his face.
‘You wish.’ I slapped my thigh.
They both looked at me as the sound of my hand hitting flesh bounced around the room. I was only wearing pants but I hadn’t felt uncomfortable. Until they started to stare at the end of my stumps.
‘It’s going to look even weirder when you’ve got metal things sticking out the end. You’ll be able to stab someone with them. Actually, when you come and help us rescue Father, you can walk over Nick with your stumps and metal rods. That would be cool.’
I could tell Leo was drunk. He would never say something like that when he was sober. It didn’t bother me though.
‘That would be cool,’ I replied, smiling at Scorpio’s horrified expression.
Leo nodded as he licked his hands clean of the cake he had devoured. I started to laugh. The sound bubbled up and out of me. I couldn’t hold it in. Images of a bloody Nick where I stabbed him with my stumps came into my mind. I loved Leo’s sense of humour.
‘You’ve set him off now.’ Scorpio grinned.
Leo grabbed his drinks and threw me one. I was laughing too hard to catch it. It fell on my lap. The cold tin shut me up. I grabbed the can off my thighs.
‘Good job it was just your legs that were blown off.’ Leo looked pointedly at my pants.
‘I know. Although, even if anything else had blown off, it would still be bigger than yours,’ I replied, laughing when he squirted his mouthful of lager over Scorpio.
‘Mate…!’ Scorpio chuckled, wiping it off his face.
‘Least I’ll get all the girls now,’ Leo said.
‘Not when they see me walking on three stumps, you won’t,’ I replied.
Chapter Nine
The sun caressed my bare arms. I let the corners of my lips curl into my cheeks as I closed my eyes. It was the first day I felt able to go out of the house. Natalie pushed me down the street as I savoured the feel of the air on my skin.
‘Are you sure you want to do this?’ she asked.
I nodded without replying. We had worked together for a whole week. I enjoyed spending time with her but she kept me at a professional distance. I was grateful. My moods were all over the place.
‘I need to see them,’ I replied, opening my eyes when I instinctively knew that the fire station had come into sight.
‘There he is!’ one of my colleagues called.
They were waiting outside for me. Natalie must’ve let them know we were coming. They ran up to me as we drew nearer.
‘Bloody hell, how big are your arm muscles!’
‘You’re looking well, son.’
The greetings were positive. None of them showed how bad they really felt. They had asked to visit me in hospital but I hadn’t allowed them to.
‘It’s good to see you,’ I said as my boss pushed his way through the small crowd.
He shook his head at me and pointed at my stumps. ‘I keep thinking if I had just pulled you back.’
‘I saved them, didn’t I?
He nodded as a tear came to his eye.
‘If I still had my legs, two women would have died that day.
The realisation hit me as the words left my mouth. Natalie squeezed my shoulder, and for the first time, I was happy that she was there.
‘Did the other person survive?’ I asked.
‘There wasn’t anyone else in the building. You’re no hero, Aries. You’re stupid,’ my boss said.
He leant down and hugged me to his chest, thumping my back.
‘I may be stupid but at least I’m still good looking.’ I chuckled. There wasn’t anyone in the building? I had lost my legs for nothing? I swallowed the rising heat. I wanted to enjoy my time with my former colleagues.
He stepped away and shook his head at me. ‘Still as cocky as ever, eh?’
He spoke to Natalie. She must have nodded her agreement, because he grinned at her. I breathed though the revelation. There was no point in hanging onto something that couldn’t be changed.
‘When are you getting new legs? Are you going to get them springy ones?’ one of the lads asked.
‘I’m going to be fitted with something called ITAP. They’re going to insert the metal into the bone in my thighs and have the attachment sticking out here.’ I pointed at the end of my stub. ‘I’ll be able to attach different types of prosthetics without the risk of infection. Also, I won’t get sore and should be able to walk around all day.’
‘That sounds amazing!’
‘Is it hard now, though? As you’re waiting?’
I nodded, keeping the smile on my face. When I worked with them, we had mucked around, like men do. They were like my second family.
‘Yeah, I wish I could come back to work,’ I replied, looking at my boss.
He ruffled my hair and went back to work, keeping his head bent as he walked away. I could tell that he struggled to see me in a wheelchair. He had trained me well and had hoped that I would take over from him one day. I had always wanted to drive the truck and be in charge of the oxygen.
‘We’ve got to go,’ Natalie said.
The lads looked at her and winked at me. ‘It’s not like that.’ I laughed.
I glanced over my shoulder. She avoided my gaze.
We said our goodbyes and left them to it.
‘L
et’s go to the park!’ I exclaimed, trying to turn in my seat.
‘If you’re sure,’ she said, her tone sounded anything but.
My trousers fell away from the end of my stumps. I hadn’t wanted to go out before but I was now sick of being stuck inside. I loved the fresh air. It felt good to be outside. Plus, I didn’t care what anyone else thought of me.
‘Yes, I’m sure.’
She turned the wheelchair and we entered the green space. Clapham Common was quite an expanse of park. We followed the path to the nearest bench. Natalie lined the chair up next to it and sat down.
‘I think we need to talk,’ she said.
Every time she had tried to say something, I had stopped her. I wanted to keep it strictly professional between us. It was a bit late for that but things had changed. She looked after me like a mother would her child. It wasn’t right. I looked out at the park. The kids were in school so it was quiet. Dog walkers strolled along in the distance.
‘Why do you think I’m here?’
I glanced at her. She sat up straight with her arms crossed over her chest.
‘Because you’re getting paid…?’
I couldn’t help it. I didn’t want to get close to her in the situation we were in. I believed that she was my soulmate but it wasn’t the way for us to be together. I should be her knight in shining armour.
‘I know you don’t believe that. I miss you. The real you,’ she said as she reached across and put her hand on my arm. I almost pulled away but I didn’t want to hurt her.
‘I’ve changed. I’m no longer that person.’ I looked down at my thighs as I spoke.
‘Of course you’ve changed. Everyone changes but the man I’ve known for the last six years is still there.’
Her hair brushed my shoulder and I fought the urge to pull back. She slid across the bench and leaned towards me. Her breath landed on my neck. I couldn’t turn my head to look into her eyes.
‘I don’t know who I am anymore. You don’t want me, Natalie.’
Her lips brushed my cheek. I froze. A shiver rushed over my body. She must have seen it. The last time I had been with a woman was when I bedded her the night before the accident.
[Zodiac Twin Flames 01.0 - 03.0] Boxed Set Page 21
