by BETH KERY
. . . personal. Intimate.
“I didn’t realize I had a pulse there,” she mumbled, worried she’d disrupt the electrode he’d just placed on the right side of her chin just a fraction of an inch above her jaw.
“You have them all over your body,” Kam said, his manner distracted as he picked up another electrode. His finger slid against her neck, and she repressed a shiver. He gently pressed an electrode to the pulse he easily found there. “You have especially defined ones. That’s why I thought you’d be a good test subject.”
“I do?” she asked, her amazement temporarily dulling her anxiety. “You noticed that when we were . . . together?”
“Yeah. You show your emotions extremely well. Put out your arm like this,” he instructed, extending his arm so that his palm was faced upward.
“I disagree,” she said a little cantankerously, following his instructions. “I’m always told by business associates that I’ve got a great poker face. Ian values the fact that I always appear calm, no matter what happens.” In control, she added in her head, mostly because she felt the opposite of in control at the moment. “It helps in stressful business interactions.”
“I’m not talking about your facial expressions,” he said, his first two fingers running over her upper arm. The skin on the underside of her arms felt very tender and sensitive. Kam found what he wanted and attached an electrode. He repeated the process on the inner side of her forearm, his long fingers trailing something that she realized was a vein before he found what he wanted. “I’m talking about your physiological responses,” he continued. “The signs are there . . . if a person knows how to read them, that is.”
He knew how to read them. No one better.
Her heart fluttered when he took her palm in both of his hands, gently probing her wrist. It felt good. Her sex responded to his touch, heat rushing through her. The realization that her body could betray her so easily—so wholeheartedly—left her mute. She watched him in silent anxiety as he attached the electrode to her inner wrist. He glanced up with quicksilver eyes and caught her staring.
“Can you stand?” he requested.
She stood, her legs feeling like rubber. Maybe he’d known they would feel that way, and so had asked if something so simple was a major maneuver. He knelt before her, and her alarm increased. The sure knowledge that he would be able to read her anxiety—her arousal?—like he would a document on a computer left her panicked.
But Lin wasn’t in the habit of running away. She was trapped by her stubbornness.
She stifled a gasp when he opened his hand at the back of her knee, again gently probing with knowing fingertips. He must feel the bumps that rose on her skin caused by his touch. It was strange, experiencing his expertise, his easy knowledge of the human body. Most people would never think to describe Kam Reardon as subtle; his manner and sexuality were so primal. Observing this deft, complex side of his personality left her feeling even more vulnerable.
But Kam had graduated from medical school, hadn’t he? Even though his mother’s illness and death prevented him from finishing his cardiology residency, he would have gone through countless clinical rotations at hospitals, not to mention the fact that he’d recently managed a large-scale trial of his biofeedback mechanism at a college in France. He probably thought nothing of a subject getting some involuntary goose bumps on their skin while he applied equipment, right?
Did those subjects and patients get as damp between their thighs as Lin was right now, though? Extremely doubtful. Surely they didn’t become bizarrely both aroused and panicked at the idea of being trapped and exposed to Kam’s knowing eyes . . . of being unwillingly excited by his touch.
She closed her eyes and focused on her breathing, recalling in detail a complicated dance movement that required exquisite control and attention to detail. By the time Kam had finished attaching an electrode to her calf and then her foot, she had calmed a little.
“The watch with the mechanism in it will only be able to gather data at the wrist pulse,” Lin said as he stood. “Why are you bothering to take information from all these pulse sites?”
“If I gather baseline data for your entire body, in addition to the other information you provided from the sensor and from the questionnaire, I’ll be able to use a logarithm I created that will make an automatic correction for the data at the wrist. A huge amount of data is collapsed into one measuring device that can accurately predict what’s going on in the body from basic readings of temperature, blood pressure, heart rate, galvanic skin response, and a whole lot of other things. In many ways, that mathematical formula is the true key to the entire device,” he said distractedly. She just stared, a little stunned by his casual brilliance. She blinked when she realized he was studying a lot of squiggly lines on his computer screen intently. “You just did something. What did you do?”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“You just did something to calm yourself,” he said, switching his gaze from the computer to her face. “What?”
Was it her imagination, or did one of those moving lines on the screen jump at his question? “I just . . . pictured a difficult dance sequence.”
He nodded as if her explanation made perfect sense. “That’s good. Do you think you can do that when we demonstrate it to the watchmakers? Exhibit a relaxation response at will?”
She blinked, horror striking her in a wave. He gave a lopsided grin as if he’d read her mind. “You’ll only have on the wrist mechanism. Every stitch of clothing in place. I told you we’re just gathering baseline data for you today,” he murmured, his accented, deep voice the equivalent of a caress on her cheek.
“I think I probably could,” Lin said dubiously. If she could calm her responses while standing nearly naked here in front of Kam as he probed her most hidden, subtle responses, surely she could do so fully clothed with only a wrist sensor.
“Good,” he picked up the last electrode. “I have to move aside the towel now.”
He stood in front of the computer screen so she couldn’t see it, but she was quite sure all those various lines spiked a mile high at his words.
“Where?” she asked, meaning where was he going to place this incendiary electrode.
He held her gaze and answered by placing his fingertips on his jeans just to the left of his fly. Her eyes sprung wide. Things looked very full in his crotch area. He wasn’t as immune to touching her as he’d led her to believe.
“There’s not a pulse point there, is there?” she asked shakily.
He dropped his hand. “An extremely important one, on the femoral artery.”
She nodded, her mouth too dry to speak. Still clutching the towel between her breasts, she tried to move aside the fabric in as modest a fashion as possible, but the wires on her arm made her clumsy. Her sex was still tender and sensitive from their intense lovemaking last night, but in that moment, the slightly abraded sensation only served to excite her more, increasing the tingling, tight feeling.
“I’ve got it,” he assured gruffly, crouching so that his face was at the level of her pelvis. Lin stared out the windows on to an azure, sun-infused Lake Michigan, but saw little. Her awareness was all being used up on attending to the feeling of Kam’s hand sweeping aside the fabric of the towel, exposing her naked hip. A flap of material still hung over her genitals, but she felt cool air against her pussy.
Cold against hot.
He moved his fingers over that sensitive, naked patch of skin just to the side of her pussy, searching for the artery. A wave of dizziness struck her. Or was it lust? She had a sudden, vivid image of him moving aside the flap of the towel and dipping his tongue between her labia. She recalled in perfect detail how expert he’d been at that particular skill as well.
Arousal stabbed at her. She barely stopped herself from moaning.
“Lin.”
She opened her clampe
d eyelids with effort. He looked up at her, his face just inches from her pussy. His nostrils flared slightly.
“Are you sore? From last night?”
“A little,” she admitted through numb lips. Had he been reading her mind?
He nodded. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m as much to blame as you are,” she said in a hushed tone.
He blinked as if coming out of a trance.
“Maybe you should think of the dance,” he said so quietly, she almost thought she’d imagined what he said. How mortifying. He knew. He knew that her body was zinging with arousal. She shut her eyes. He knew what he was doing to her. He wasn’t catching her scent, was he? she thought with rising panic.
Think of the dance. Despite her vulnerability in that moment, she valued his advice. Disciplining her mind and body had never before failed her. She pictured herself taking the subtle, difficult poses, heard the music . . . lost herself to it. She knew the moment when he attached the electrode so near her naked sex, but she’d bought a little distance for herself with her focus. Even when she felt the fabric of the towel fall back in place, she continued to meditate on the dance.
“You can sit down on the couch now. They’re all attached.” She opened her eyes. Kam stood before her. He put his hand on her free arm, guiding her down to a sitting position, mindful of the attached wires. She self-consciously arranged the towel, making sure she was modestly covered.
“What do we do now?” she asked him when he sat down on the couch, a cushion and the two computers between them.
“I’m going to show you some images on the computer and then ask you a series of questions. All of these things are designed to evoke emotional and physiological responses. Don’t try to control yourself for this part.” He told her pointedly. “That’s very important. I’m going to ask you to evoke a relaxation response later, which fortunately, you seem to have a talent for. But don’t relax now. Don’t think. Just react to the stimuli. Okay?”
Lin nodded. At least he wasn’t going to be touching her during the process. That was something.
For the next forty-five minutes, he showed her a series of photographs and short videos that were clearly designed to evoke a range of emotions from anxiety to outrage to fondness to fear. Afterward, he asked her a number of questions, some of which were boring and mundane, and some of which did everything from embarrass her to make her laugh to cause her to blush. It was anxiety provoking, yes, but she recognized the universality of the stimuli. They were meant for any human test subject, not just her. That knowledge went a long way to calm her panic.
“Okay. We’re done with that part,” Kam said, tapping his fingers on the computer screen a few times. “Now I want you to do what you did before to calm yourself. Focus on the dance and relax while I take some readings.”
“Okay,” she said, wondering if she could do again what she’d reached out blindly to do during a panic. As it turned out, she could do it even easier without high anxiety edging her consciousness.
“Good. That’s it,” Kam said after a moment, sounding distracted. She opened her eyes. He tapped his fingers on the screen. “We’re done.”
“Really?” she asked gratefully, focusing on him where he sat at the end of the couch, one of the computers balanced on a muscular thigh. She could see some russet highlights glinting in his dark, waving hair. A loose lock had fallen onto his forehead. Sexy as the devil.
“Yes. It wasn’t that bad, was it?” he asked, his gaze sliding over to her.
Lin repressed her genuine answer, which was, about a hundred times worse than having all my wisdom teeth removed in one afternoon. “I guess not,” she said.
“Are you going to tell me now what got you so uptight before you came here today?”
His tone was so mild, it took a second for his words—his intention—to sink in. When they did, she felt the electrode at her throat give a little leap. He watched her calmly, waiting.
“Did you ask me that when I was unprepared just to get an anxiety response out of me? To probe me? That’s an unethical use of your invention!” she accused.
Holding her gaze, he turned the computer in his lap. The computer was shut down. Lin blushed in embarrassment.
“Do you really think I need to use a machine to figure out that something was irritating you? I knew it two seconds after you walked in the door. Now are you going to tell me what’s got your knickers in a twist or not? What the hell did I do?”
Her breath caught in her lungs and burned. Slowly, she exhaled, striving to get control of herself. She began to remove the electrodes methodically from her face, arm, and leg. “Nothing,” she said quietly after a tense moment. “You didn’t do anything but be yourself.”
“Oh, that’s helpful information. So you’re pissed off at something I can’t change?” he asked, his frown deepening, his eyes narrowing. “Can you at least tell me what this irredeemable character flaw is?”
Lin yanked at that incendiary wire that disappeared beneath the towel. She was free to go now. Instead, she met his fiery stare across the several feet that separated them. Didn’t he deserve to know the truth? But if she told him the truth about how she’d found out private information about Phoebe Cane, she’d have to explain about Angus. She still wanted Angus’s arrival to be special for him.
As she looked into his piercing eyes, she again experienced that familiar heavy, warm sensation in her lower belly. Things felt very damp between her thighs.
“It’s not a horrible character flaw,” she finally replied honestly. Suddenly, she felt tired. “And I’m not mad at you. Not anymore. I’m going to go change,” she said wearily.
“Wait a second,” Kam called when she stood. He sounded angry. “Don’t just cut me off like that.”
“I’m not cutting you off,” she said levelly, clutching the towel between her breasts. “Look, I’m sorry. Just forget about it, okay?”
He didn’t reply when she walked out of the room, but she could feel his stare boring into her back. Frustration set her teeth on edge. She didn’t want to fight with him. She didn’t want to feel so vulnerable where he was concerned.
The truth was, she just wanted him. Period.
She retreated to the bathroom to change, grabbing her underwear and letting the towel drop to the tile floor. The bathroom was quite large, featuring a massive antique carved wood mirror over the sink and countertop. Clutching her panties, Lin studied her reflection closely. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes looked bright. Of course Kam had been reading her like an open book. It wasn’t even possible to fool that sharp, quicksilver gaze of his.
She wasn’t really surprised when he called her name and rapped once on the door.
“Yes?” she asked, frozen to the spot, every nerve in her body leaping to life.
The bathroom door clicked open. He met her gaze in the bathroom mirror, his expression hard and unreadable, his eyes gleaming. She felt pinned by his stare, unable to move. Unable to breathe. He stepped behind her. She was naked, save her bra. She felt the fabric of his shirt brush against her back and the fly of his jeans skim against the sensitive patch of skin at the very base of her spine. Hard, denim-covered thighs touched her bare ass.
He silently brushed her long hair over one shoulder, exposing the skin of her back. He slid one hand beneath her hair, settling his large hands on her naked shoulders. Her nipples prickled in awareness at his touch.
“I found out that you have a lover in France,” she explained quietly. It hadn’t been his touch that had popped the truth out of her lungs, but his scoring, inescapable gaze. His hands tightened slightly on her shoulders.
“What are you talking about?” he demanded after a stunned pause.
“Phoebe Cane. Isn’t that her name?” Lin said in a hushed tone. “I realize I have no right to be angry about it. In fact, anything I felt when I first found out has faded now
. You don’t have anything to worry about. I just thought you deserved to know why I was acting . . .” She faded off, unable to find the right word for how she’d been acting, although like a fool popped into her brain after a second.
“Hold on,” he growled, his nostrils flaring, his gaze narrowing on her through the mirror. “How do you know who Phoebe Cane is? Have you been talking to Ian about that time he walked in on us at Aurore?”
Lin blanched. “No. Of course not. Ian walked in on Phoebe and you?”
Kam’s mouth went hard. Lin thought of turning around and studying his face, but his reflection seemed easier to face somehow. Not safe, just safer.
“Not on purpose,” Kam eventually said. “And not just Phoebe and I. Phoebe and I . . . and one of her friends, Eloise,” he admitted bluntly.
Heat rushed through her face and chest in the silence that followed. Wonderful. This was even worse than she’d suspected. “You have two lovers in France?” she asked after a moment. “You’re . . . uh . . . involved in a ménage à trois?”
“No,” he insisted with quiet scorn. “I’m not involved in anything. I only saw Eloise that one time. She was visiting Phoebe from Germany. They pounced on me at Aurore one night with a case of beer. They’d been out partying earlier, and I was some kind of girls-night-out bet. We were just having a good time. Ian accidentally interrupted us, and took it as proof that I’m a sex-starved degenerate. Like he lived his life like an altar boy before he met Francesca,” he added derisively under his breath.
“I see,” Lin said hollowly. “But Phoebe doesn’t live far away. She’s in the village, isn’t that right?”
His face looked as hard as carved rock in the reflection in the mirror. His thumbs moved on her shoulders.
“Listen to me,” he said quietly. “I am not involved in a relationship with Phoebe Cane. If you want me to profess to being celibate, I can’t. But that doesn’t mean I haven’t been honest with you. Yes. Phoebe lives in the village, and we’ve been known to get together on and off over the years. We’ve also both seen other people. Neither one of us is perfect, but at least we’re honest with each other about what we’re doing.”
