Pale blue and not white, and yet, how very much this moment was like another.
It was too much…
She needed to leave. The walls were closing in and crushing her heart in the process.
“Oh, please don’t look at that,” Prudence begged. “I’m so sorry.”
“It is fine,” Poppy assured. “I’ll see to it.
“I’ll help you.”
“No. No. I’m fine. If you’ll watch after Claire and Faye?” Her two sisters-in-law, social outcasts, pariahs amongst the other wallflowers, who looked as miserable as Poppy had been, and still was. Only now, for altogether different reasons.
“You’re certain?” Prudence called after her.
“Fine.” She wasn’t. Poppy weaved between guests, lords and ladies whose attention had at some point ceased to be fixated upon her, and had moved on to other subjects. In this case, her sisters-in-law. That was the way of the ton, though. One scandal to replace the next and there was a good deal less exciting about married Tidemores than the young girls she and her sisters had once been.
Poppy found herself walking these old familiar halls, wandering the same path she had as a young woman who’d dreamed of a future with Tristan. But this hadn’t been it. The future had been the two of them together.
Out of sight of the ballroom, Poppy took off running, until her chest burned and her toes ached from the constraints of her heeled slippers.
She didn’t stop until she reached the conservatory where it had all begun. Shoving the door open, she stumbled inside, the room a perfect replica of that night.
Poppy sucked in a shuddery breath and loosening the laces of her slippers, she slid them off. Freeing her feet from their miserable constraints, she flexed her toes. Her laces dangling in her hand, she wandered to the watering fount.
Sinking onto the ledge she stared down at her reflection in the lightly rippling water. Her lips quivered in a sad smile as she touched the front of her stained dress.
“I’m not adorable. Kittens and pups are adorable. And even if I was red in the face, which I am not, it would be with entirely good reason…
A sob ripped from her throat, and she bit her fist. But it was futile. Her body shook from the force of her tears, and she let them fall and accepted all she’d lost and all she wept for.
The happiness she’d wanted with him…
“Poppy, since when did you begin drinking lemonade?”
She didn’t move. Those words, an echo of long ago, spoken so clear, in the now, by that same voice, and yet, it could not be…because he’d gone.
She’d waved him off once more a week ago.
“I don’t drink lemonade,” Poppy said softly. “Someone tossed it at me.”
“Is your gown righted?” he asked, that deep baritone cascading over her like so much wonderful heat cast by the summer’s sun.
“It is.”
“Ah, that is unfortunate.”
And for the first time since he’d gone again, Poppy smiled. “That wasn’t what you said,” she reminded, still unable to face him. Afraid this moment was a dream of pretend she’d crafted from her desire to see him.
“No. But that is what I wanted to say.”
“And my stained dress?”
“I may have enlisted your sister’s support,” he called over from the doorway.
Prudence had known he was here.
“I may have sworn her to secrecy,” he murmured, following her thoughts. Their thoughts had always moved in harmony. It was them, however, as people, who’d struggled to find a proper synchronization. Until now. “That is also how I would have rewrote that night for us, Poppy. Not a glass tossed at you by Lady Kathryn Delaney but an accident from a beloved sister calling me out for the fool I’ve been.”
Another tear fell.
All these years, she’d believed the moment in Lord Smith’s conservatory an afterthought Tristan had barely remembered, and yet, verbatim words that had fallen from each of their lips, were words he uttered now.
He was close. She felt him at her shoulder.
Then he was there. She caught his reflection in Lord Smith’s pool.
He sank onto the stone ledge beside her, and waited, giving her time, and not again speaking until she at last looked at him. Tristan brushed the tears from her cheeks. “There remains so much about that night I wanted to do over, Poppy.”
Her breath stuck funny in her lungs. “Our Marriage Pact.”
“Our Marriage Pact.”
She slid her gaze away, but he cradled her cheek, gently guiding her eyes back to his. “You misunderstand me. I wanted a do-over. I wanted to return in time to the damned fool I was and give you an entirely different list.” He reached inside his jacket and withdrew a note.
She followed his movements. “What are you doing?” she whispered.
“A proper marriage pact needs to be written. May I?”
“Please.” Through the watering of the fountain and her own beating heart she barely heard her own reply.
“I want to spend every damned moment of every damned day bringing your lips up in that saucy grin.” With his spare hand, he touched a finger to the corner of her mouth. “This one. This one right here.” Setting aside the list, Tristan held her eyes and recounted all those wishes. “I want to be with you, always. I want to share your bed and your dreams and your hopes. And a daughter, Poppy,” he whispered. “I want a daughter just like you. One who has your spirit and smile and courage. Ten of them if you’d have it.” She struggled to see him through the tears in her eyes. “I want a life with you in every sense of the word. And I want it now. Not three years from now.”
Her lips quivered. “Your commission—”
Tristan ran the pad of his thumb over that trembling flesh. “I’ve called in a favor. My commanding officer at Waterloo has allowed me to trade my post for one with the Home Office in London…when I’m ready to accept it.”
When he was ready to accept it? What was he saying? “I don’t…I…but…”
“You helped me see that I was blinded by my own quest to restore my image in society. I’d lost sight of what mattered. I’ll not have my pride be my ruin. Losing you would ruin me.”
Poppy gasped.
“Because you, Poppy,” he said gently. “You are what matters. Being with you. Having a family with you. And I want you to have your dreams and attend Académie des Beaux Arts because that is what you deserve. I’d just ask that wherever you go, you let me go, too.”
A sob tore from her throat, and she fell into his embrace. Tristan’s arms came up around her, and he touched his lips to her temple, her brow, kissing away the damp stains left by her tears. Then, he kissed her, claiming her mouth, and Poppy kissed him, willing him to feel everything she’d ever carried in her heart for him. “I love you, Tristan.”
“And I love you, Poppy. I’d ask you for but one more thing?”
“Anything.” She’d been his, as he’d been hers; their lives together ordained at that meeting.
“Forever.”
And leaning up, she kissed him; offering him just that.
The End
Coming May 2019
The Bluestocking, Book 4 in the Wicked Wallflowers series.
Two damaged hearts learn there’s a fine line between love and hate in a Wicked Wallflowers novel from USA Today bestselling author Christi Caldwell.
Gertrude, the eldest Killoran sister, has spent a lifetime being underestimated—especially by her own family. She may seem as vulnerable as a kitten, but given the chance, she can be as fierce as a tiger. Her adopted brother, Stephen, has just been snatched back by his true father, and she’ll be damned if she relinquishes the boy to the man reviled throughout London as the Mad Marquess.
Still haunted by a deadly tragedy that left him publicly despised, Lord Edwin holds only hatred for the Killorans—the people he believes kidnapped his son. And not one of them will ever see the boy again. But when Gertrude forces her way into the household and stubb
ornly insists that she remain as Stephen’s governess, Edwin believes he may have found someone madder than himself.
With every moment he shares with the tenderhearted Gertrude, Edwin’s anger softens into admiration…and more. Is it possible that the woman he loathed may be the only person who can heal his broken soul?
Other Books by Christi Caldwell
“The Rogue Who Rescued Her”
Book 3 in the “Brethren” Series by Christi Caldwell
Martha Donaldson went from being a nobleman’s wife, and respected young mother, to the scandal of her village. After learning the dark lie perpetuated against her by her ‘husband’, she knows better than to ever trust a man. Her children are her life and she’ll protect them at all costs. When a stranger arrives seeking the post of stable master, everything says to turn him out. So why does she let him stay?
Lord Sheldon Graham Whitworth has lived with the constant reminders of his many failings. The third son of a duke, he’s long been underestimated: that however, proves a valuable asset as he serves the Brethren, an illustrious division in the Home Office. When Graham’s first mission sees him assigned the role of guard to a young widow and her son, he wants nothing more than to finish quickly and then move on to another, more meaningful assignment.
Except, as the secrets between them begin to unravel, Martha’s trust is shattered, and Graham is left with the most vital mission he’ll ever face—winning Martha’s heart.
“The Lady Who Loved Him”
Book 2 in the “Brethren” Series by Christi Caldwell
In this passionate, emotional Regency romance by Christi Caldwell, society’s most wicked rake meets his match in the clever Lady Chloe Edgerton! And nothing will ever be the same!
She doesn’t believe in marriage…
The cruelty of men is something Lady Chloe Edgerton understands. Even in her quest to better her life and forget the past, men always seem determined to control her. Overhearing the latest plan to wed her to a proper gentleman, Chloe finally has enough…but one misstep lands her in the arms of the most notorious rake in London.
The Marquess of Tennyson doesn’t believe in love…
Leopold Dunlop is a ruthless, coldhearted rake… a reputation he has cultivated. As a member of The Brethren, a secret spy network, he’s committed his life to serving the Crown, but his rakish reputation threatens to overshadow that service. When he’s caught in a compromising position with Chloe, it could be the last nail in the coffin of his career unless he’s willing to enter into a marriage of convenience.
A necessary arrangement…
A loveless match from the start, it soon becomes something more. As Chloe and Leo endeavor to continue with the plans for their lives prior to their marriage, Leo finds himself not so immune to his wife—or to the prospect of losing her.
“The Spy Who Seduced Her”
Book 1 in the “Brethren” Series by Christi Caldwell
A widow with a past… The last thing Victoria Barrett, the Viscountess Waters, has any interest in is romance. When the only man she’s ever loved was killed she endured an arranged marriage to a cruel man in order to survive. Now widowed, her only focus is on clearing her son’s name from the charge of murder. That is until the love of her life returns from the grave.
A leader of a once great agency… Nathaniel Archer, the Earl of Exeter head of the Crown’s elite organization, The Brethren, is back on British soil. Captured and tortured 20 years ago, he clung to memories of his first love until he could escape. Discovering she has married whilst he was captive, Nathaniel sets aside the distractions of love…until an unexpected case is thrust upon him—to solve the murder of the Viscount Waters. There is just one complication: the prime suspect’s mother is none other than Victoria, the woman he once loved with his very soul.
Secrets will be uncovered and passions rekindled. Victoria and Nathaniel must trust one another if they hope to start anew—in love and life. But will duty destroy their last chance?
“Rogues Rush In”
A Regency Duet by Tessa Dare & Christi Caldwell
New York Times and USA Today Bestselling authors Tessa Dare and Christi Caldwell come together in this smart, sexy, not-to-be-missed Regency Duet!
Two scandalous brides…
Two rogues who won’t be denied…
His Bride for the Taking by NYT Bestselling author Tessa Dare
It’s the first rule of friendship among gentlemen: Don’t even think about touching your best friend’s sister. But Sebastian, Lord Byrne, has never been one for rules. He’s thought about touching Mary Clayton—a lot—and struggled to resist temptation. But when Mary’s bridegroom leaves her waiting at the altar, only Sebastian can save her from ruin. By marrying her himself.
In eleven years, he’s never laid a finger on his best friend’s sister. Now he’s going to take her with both hands. To have, to hold…and to love.
His Duchess for a Day by USA Today Bestseller Christi Caldwell
It was never meant to be…
That’s what Elizabeth Terry has told herself while trying to forget the man she married—her once best friend. Passing herself off as a widow, Elizabeth has since built a life for herself as an instructor at a finishing school, far away from that greatest of mistakes. But the past has a way of finding you, and now that her husband has found her, Elizabeth must face the man she’s tried to forget.
It was time to right a wrong…
Crispin Ferguson, the Duke of Huntington, has spent the past years living with regret. The young woman he married left without a by-your-leave, and his hasty elopement had devastating repercussions. Despite everything, Crispin never stopped thinking about Elizabeth. Now that he’s found her, he has one request—be his duchess, publicly, just for a day.
Can spending time together as husband and wife rekindle the bond they once shared? Or will a shocking discovery tear them apart…this time, forever?
“A Lady’s Guide to a Gentleman’s Heart”
Book 2 in the “Heart of a Scandal” Series by Christi Caldwell
Honor demands he give her up—
Heath Whitworth, Marquess of Mulgrave and heir to a dukedom, is honorable to his handsome bones. When his mother insists he spend the holidays dancing attendance on Lady Emilia Aberdeen, he has no choice but to do the gentlemanly thing. For years, Heath has harbored feelings for the lady, but he knows exactly why his best friend jilted Emilia years ago, and that secret makes a happily ever after for Heath and Emilia an impossibility.
Love demands she follow her heart—
Heartbroken after the man she loved ended their betrothal, Lady Emilia Aberdeen, is quite content to live a spinster’s life penning an anonymous column that offers guidance to young ladies. Except, the more she is thrown into Lord Mulgrave’s company, the more she sees that the proper, always-aloof gentleman is also charming, clever, and inconveniently attractive. Emilia discovers maybe it is possible to love again but with secrets between them, Heath will face his greatest challenge yet: loving Emilia Aberdeen or letting her go.
“Schooling the Duke”
Book 1 in the “Heart of a Scandal” Series by Christi Caldwell
A lady betrayed:
Finishing school instructor, Mrs. Rowena Bryant is hated by her students, revered by the headmistress, and absolutely determined to maintain her financial security. Deceived years ago by the only man she’d ever given her heart to, Rowena relies on no one but herself—that is the best way to keep her most scandalous secret.
A soldier turned duke:
When Graham Linford returned from war on the cusp of death, he discovered he’d been betrayed by the woman he loved. From that moment, Graham shaped himself into an unfeeling nobleman, refusing to ever suffer the agony of betrayal again. Now a duke, Graham is determined no one will ever discover the touch of madness that has haunted him since battle.
Lovers reunited:
When Graham finds himself named guardian to a young lady, the woman sent as
a companion to his ward is none other than Rowena Bryant. With every moment spent together, their passion reignites, and the walls they’ve built to keep one another out begin to crumble. But when their dark past tests them again will true love be enough to repair their damaged hearts?
“In Need of a Knight”
Prequel Novella in the “Heart of a Scandal” Series by Christi Caldwell
Years earlier, a gypsy woman passed to Lady Aldora Adamson and her friends a heart pendant that promised them each the heart of a duke.
Now, a young lady, with her family facing ruin and scandal, Lady Aldora doesn’t have time for mythical stories about cheap baubles. She needs to save her younger siblings and has resigned herself to marrying a titled gentleman with wealth, power, and a respectable name. She sets her bespectacled sights upon the Marquess of St. James. Until…
An Unexpected Meeting
Turned out by his father after a tragic scandal, Lord Michael Knightly has grown into a powerful, but self-made man. With the whispers and stares that still follow him, he’s been shut out of respectable society. He would rather be anywhere but London…
Then he meets Lady Aldora, a young woman who mistakes him for his brother, the Marquess of St. James. The connection between Aldora and Michael is immediate and as they come to know one another, Aldora’s feelings for Michael grow.
Now, Aldora is left to choose between her responsibilities as a sister and her love for Michael.
“The Vixen”
Book 2 in the “Wicked Wallflowers” Series by Christi Caldwell
Set apart by her ethereal beauty and fearless demeanor, Ophelia Killoran has always been a mystery to those around her—and a woman they underestimated. No one would guess that she spends her nights protecting the street urchins of St. Giles. Ophelia knows what horrors these children face. As a young girl, she faced those horrors herself, and she would have died…if not for the orphan boy who saved her life.
Courting Poppy Tidemore (Lords of Honor Book 5) Page 31
