by Ally James
“You’re so right. Sorry, Sara. Did you write back already?” she asked with less enthusiasm.
Sara chuckled. “I did. It was short, though. He didn’t say much, so I didn’t have a lot to go on.” And that was an understatement. Still, Sara knew what the contact was about. Support for the men and women serving our country.
“What did you write?” She was tempted to lie, but in the end, she read the e-mail exactly as it was written, fully expecting another lecture. But surprisingly, Chloe giggled. Not just a polite chuckle either, but a full-fledged roar of laughter. “You sound like a basket of crazy,” she gasped out. “That was freaking great, I love it.” Talk about a back-handed compliment. Is she screwing with me?
“Um, really? You actually approve? I thought it was a bit . . . eccentric. He’s probably picturing me as one of those chicks that wears pajamas with flip-flops out in public.”
“Who gives a crap? After that, even I want to hear more from you. The world is full of way too much polite chatter. People waste hours with pleasantries without ever giving you a real glimpse into who they are. You may have sounded bat-shit nuts, but you were funny. And a sense of humor is rare and underrated. I’ll tell you something else: I’ve known you our whole lives, and just that little bit makes me see you in a different light, Sara. Your personality literally leaps out. You sparkle.”
“Sparkle, hey? Did I mention in my first letter that I wrote about bedazzled wheelchairs?”
“No. You totally left that bit out.” She laughed. “See what I mean? This is great, Sara. You never know, this could become a little fledgling romance, although if you look at my track record with men, I obviously need advice more than you do.” The last was said in a joking manner, but Sara could hear the sad undertones in her cousin’s voice. She wasn’t even close to getting over the jerk who had broken her heart. But Sara also knew that Chloe shared in bits and pieces, most of them unexpected. If Sara tried to pry, she’d shut down fairly quickly.
“I thought Gabriel made my night, but you may have topped him,” Sara said sincerely. “Thank you for what you said, that means a lot to me. I’m not normally one to joke around so easily with a stranger, but there’s something about the anonymity of e-mail that feels freeing. We’ve never met in person, nor will we ever. So I can be whomever I want, you know?” Sara the spinster has left the building, folks. At least where Gabriel is concerned. “Oh crap, I’ve gotta go. Kaylee is calling.” Sara sighed, already on her feet and crossing the room. Regardless of what she was doing, she could always hear the little girl. Just like a mother should.
“Well, far be it from Nicole to actually get off her butt and check on her daughter. Gotta have her rest so she can deliver that one hour of work tomorrow.” Even though she didn’t respond to the insult, Sara couldn’t help agreeing. She was in no way paid enough to essentially be Kaylee’s primary caregiver. Luckily, she did it out of love and not for the money.
Sara said a quick good night and laid her phone on Kaylee’s nightstand as she lowered herself to the bed next to her. Oddly enough, as she rubbed her niece’s back and whispered soothing words to lull her back to sleep, she thought of Gabriel. She’d looked up Iraq and knew there was a seven-hour time difference. Was he having breakfast now? Was he one of those wretched morning people who woke up cheerful? As she continued to ponder the mystery that was Gabriel Randall, she wondered if he had any idea how much one brief e-mail from him meant to a stranger in North Carolina. A woman who was lonelier than she’d ever admit—even to herself.
Chapter Three
This is damned ridiculous. You’re a seasoned soldier. You’ve been shot at, dodged bombs, and shaken hands with four sitting presidents. You bow to no one, remember? Even as he ran through the reasons why he shouldn’t be excited as he stared at his in-box, it didn’t change the fact that he was. The notification had come through on his phone as he was finishing breakfast in the chow hall. The last cup of coffee he chugged was now burning like acid in his stomach. He’d rather take a bullet than have any of his troops ever find out about this. The fact that she’d even written back was nothing short of a miracle. Pity e-mail? Remembering the letter he’d sent her, he feared it might be a brush-off. Dear Soldier: E-mail me when you remove the stick from your ass. Kind regards, Bored in North Carolina. She’d word it a little better, but he was half expecting that when he finally opened her e-mail.
Dear Gabriel:
It’s great to hear from you! It sounds like we have a lot in common with the whole age thing. Although I’m not sure men are considered spinsters. Assuming you’re single, of course. I think you’d just be called a bachelor. That hardly seems fair, does it? My nickname brings to mind the little old lady in the deck of Old Maid cards. While yours makes me think of that reality television show where the men get to pick from women who look like supermodels. You lucky thing. Plus, the whole uniform thing clearly gives you the advantage. From my experience, it seems to make even unattractive men appear sexy. Camouflage is a real miracle worker. Kinda like a Wonderbra. Not that I’m saying you need it. (The uniform, not the bra.) I’m sure you’re handsome. Heck, everyone has something that works for them, right? At least one feature that others notice. Not sure what mine is. I can touch my nose with the tip of my tongue. Wait, I don’t think that counts.
What is your dog’s name?
Be safe,
Sara
Gabe felt a smile once again tugging at the corners of his mouth. She was so adorable. He’d read her first letter so many times he knew it by heart now. Sara was quirky, and that appealed to him. It was only a letter, and he had no idea if she’d write more, but it gave Gabriel something he’d gone without for years: someone other than his family checking in on him. While he wasn’t lovesick by any stretch of the imagination, he felt he understood the goofy expressions some of his soldiers wore when they heard from their significant other. It wasn’t that there hadn’t been women in his life. He’d been lucky enough to meet some amazing ones. But somehow, he was always uninvolved when he deployed. There was no one pining away for him at home. Well, other than his dog, Trouble. And his affection could be bought by food and petting. Come to think of it, he was typical of a lot of males in that regard.
Gabe figured it was better not to subject someone to his long absences. It didn’t seem fair to ask them to wait for him. And if there’s one thing he’d witnessed over and over again, it was the strain that military life could put on a relationship. So many of the couples he knew with one person enlisted ended up either divorced or living separate lives. That’s not to say he wouldn’t be willing to try a committed relationship if the right person came along—but thus far, that hadn’t happened. He’d loved before, but he’d never been in love. Not the kind he dreamed of years ago, before he turned into the cynic he was now. Although if he was honest with himself, he knew he wasn’t a cynic at his core. He’d just never made finding love a priority, and at this point in his career, it still wasn’t in the cards.
It wasn’t as if he believed that Sara, this mythical creature who was interested in corresponding with him, had just happened upon his life to be his forever love. That would be foolish thinking, and if there was one thing Gabriel was not, it was foolish. Nor illogical. Contact with Sara would be brief and entertaining. He doubted her intention of writing had been anything other than an obligatory greeting to the overseas soldier she had been assigned. Should I nip this in the bud now? Although what’s the harm in writing back and forth for a bit? He could delete her e-mail and let it go. But—he just couldn’t do it.
Military mail was a pain in the ass at times. What if he changed his mind and it was not in the recycle bin? That thought alone made him feel a little queasy. So maybe he wouldn’t get rid of her e-mail yet. No harm in letting it sit there. The trick was not replying. Gabe grabbed a nearby folder with some information for the morning meeting and hurried from his office. He would stay busy until the urge had passed.
Two hours later, Gabe felt like a junky deprived of his fix. His knees were bouncing up and down, and he was chewing gum as if his life depended on it. It was mean not to send a quick message. A gentleman doesn’t ignore a lady. He knew that last one was a reach, but still, he’d take any justification at this point. It was almost alarming how much he craved hearing from this Sara again. And he knew for that to happen, he had to do his part. Before he could wage another inner battle, he opened her e-mail and hit the Reply button.
Sara:
Yes, I am single and my dog’s name is Trouble. After being surrounded by our uniforms for many years, I don’t think I share your views on them suiting everyone equally well. I would agree that touching your nose with your tongue isn’t necessarily a feature. And I’ve never given any thought as to what mine would be.
Thanks,
Gabe
Gabe shook his head in defeat. He hadn’t thought it could get much worse than his first written disaster, but this one was a strong contender. Why can’t I just talk to her like a friend? If he was this uptight with all women, that might explain why they weren’t exactly beating his door down. Again, he wondered why it suddenly mattered so much to him. As intrigued as he was with his new pen pal, a part of him resented her as well. He had more than enough shit to keep him awake at night. Now, thanks to her, he was actually giving thought to being liked? When had he ever given a damn about anyone’s approval? He’d moved up in the ranks of the military through hard work, dedication, and precision, not kissing ass. Same thing applied to other areas of his life. He was there if needed and stayed out of things that weren’t any of his concern. You’re the social butterfly of Anchorage, Alaska. Winning them over everywhere you go with that personality.
Before he wasted more of his day on self-analysis, Gabe hit the Send button and logged off his computer. He’d never been happier to know he was needed at the airfield. At least that would keep his mind off her for a while. Get out of my head, lady, he inwardly groused as he crossed the runway. As if afraid he’d jinxed himself, his next thought was, Please write back.
* * *
• • •
Sara smiled as Kaylee walked toward the car. One of the teachers opened her door and waited for the little girl to settle inside before closing it behind her. When she’d started the half-day kindergarten a few months earlier, it had really made Sara think about her own future. In her mind, Kaylee would always be the baby she’d fallen in love with at first sight. Oh, she knew there was no fear of losing her job for years to come, but by then her chances to have a family of her own might have diminished. Well, you don’t exactly have any baby daddy prospects lining up to take you off the market. That might be true, but as Chloe had mentioned more than once, Sara wasn’t likely to meet someone sitting at home every night.
What about Gabe? She’d met Gabe, and was enjoying chatting back and forth with him. Even if his messages weren’t particularly long. Surely that counted as meeting someone, and who knew . . . maybe she’d gain her confidence back and be able to find someone closer to home.
They’d been running late that morning, so Sara had rushed Kaylee out of the house to get to school. Then she’d spent the last few hours grocery shopping and running errands for Nicole. Returning the other woman’s clothes wasn’t her job, but her sister-in-law didn’t seem to get that.
Now that she finally had a moment to breathe, she couldn’t help the rush of anticipation at the thought of her new online friend. She hadn’t checked her e-mail, but considering how pained he sounded in his previous one, she was doubtful he’d jumped right in and answered quickly. As Kaylee chattered on and on about her preschool crush, Jimmy, Sara found herself counting the minutes until they were home, which was a first for her. Normally she attempted to prolong their time out, knowing it would make the afternoon shorter and also help Kaylee burn off some excess energy. “Sarie, can we go to McDonald’s?”
Oh crap. Wait, that’s perfect. “Absolutely, sweetheart,” Sara said brightly as she took the next exit. Even though Nicole rarely ever cooked, she frowned on her daughter eating fast food. Something Sara usually agreed with. But once in a while, Kaylee deserved a treat. And with the afternoon seeming to loom before her, she felt like today was a perfect day for a splurge.
Like most people, she got bored sometimes by the routine of her days, but Kaylee was very good at keeping her entertained. Lately, though, she longed for . . . more. She could blame the whole attack of discontent on her aunt Lydia. Having your life scrutinized in front of a roomful of people not only was embarrassing, but kind of brought some hard truths home. The mirror you could no longer avoid. And even though she was thrilled to have met Gabe, it also made her yearn for someone special in her life. There was a restlessness within her that hadn’t been there before.
Strangely enough, the McDonald’s atmosphere was fairly low key when they arrived. Within a few moments, Sara had their tray, and Kaylee was impatiently holding open the door to the play area. Usually the excited squeals of the kids would have her cringing, but she was so distracted she barely noticed. Kaylee looked longingly at the slide and back at her as they took a seat at a corner table. “Sorry, sweetheart, you know the rule. You need to eat at least half your food before you play.” She couldn’t help laughing as the little girl took a big bite of her burger from one hand while holding an apple slice in the other. It appeared she was gearing up to race through her meal. “Please slow down. You don’t want to choke.”
“Okay, Sarie,” Kaylee mumbled around the apple slice, which was now in her mouth. The pained look on her face clearly said that Sara was trying her patience, but she didn’t complain. Even at five, she was smart enough to know that it would just delay the fun. She knew that all parents felt as if their kid was the best at everything, and Sara was no exception. Kaylee was absolutely precious. A combination of smart, stubborn, sweet, and so damned funny. Don’t forget you’re not her mother. Nicole and Chris were the ones who would be front and center at every major moment in this child’s life, as they should be. And you’ll be standing to the side next to your mother.
When Kaylee finished her food, Sara had her phone out before the girl had taken two steps from the table. “Have fun, sweetie, and remember your manners,” she called out absently as she impatiently logged into her e-mail. And there it was . . . another reply from Gabe. She clutched her iPhone as if it would take flight if she didn’t hold it tightly. Yet she did nothing more. After all of her eagerness, she sat staring at the screen. Why am I so nervous? This is nuts. I don’t even know him. How come this is so important to me? But she couldn’t deny it did feel important to her. Meeting him had given her an excitement she hadn’t felt in so long. And she was afraid each time that either she’d never hear from him again or he’d simply brush her off. His brief responses aren’t exactly begging you to continue contacting him.
Before she found an excuse to delay any longer, she quickly opened the e-mail and smiled at the short paragraph. He certainly wasn’t one to waste words.
Sara,
Yes, I am single and my dog’s name is Trouble. After being surrounded by our uniforms for many years, I don’t think I share your views on them suiting everyone equally well. I would agree that touching your nose with your tongue isn’t necessarily a feature. And I’ve never given any thought as to what mine would be.
Thanks,
Gabe
She did a quick check and saw he’d sent it only a few hours after hers. That had to mean something, right? Maybe he enjoys talking to me as much as I enjoy his letters. Chloe would be horrified, but she hit the Reply button instead of waiting until later.
Gabe:
Why did you name your dog Trouble? There must be a story there. Don’t leave me hanging here. As for the uniforms, you’re a guy so I think I can safely assume that although you might be more of an expert on females, I am clearly in a better position to judge the males. OK, OK, I realize the
fact that I haven’t had a date since electricity was invented might call my credentials into question, but I still believe I’m a more thorough judge than you are. Now you’re over there thinking I sound like the world’s biggest pervert, aren’t you? Spinster Sara spends her days cruising military bases, and her nights scouring the Internet for a little camo eye-candy. That’s my kink, Randall. Run, soldier, run! Since I have no clue as to what you look like, I can’t pick a favorite feature for you, but if we’re going by talent, like my tongue to the nose, yours would clearly be your chattiness.
Back to you,
Sara
She couldn’t help laughing at what she’d written. “That’s my kink”? There was no way she could send that. He really would think she was a nut. Her finger was hovering over the Cancel button when Kaylee barreled into the table. Sara’s drink went crashing to the floor, and tea seemed to cover everything around her. “I’m sorry, Sarie,” Kaylee cried out as she looked down at the carnage she’d accidentally caused.
“It’s fine, sweetie,” Sara assured her. “Could you grab some extra napkins while I pick everything up?” Sara turned to lay her cell phone on the table and she noticed the screen. Message Sent. “Oh crap,” she whispered. Somehow in the commotion she’d hit the button. The downside of using a phone for correspondence was that the small screen size left little space between selections. She’d done it a few times before, but it had never been a big deal. Usually she ended up sending a half-finished e-mail and had to explain it. But how could she tell Gabe, “Sorry, that whole pervert part was a joke. You weren’t supposed to see it.”
