Sawyer nodded. “And you knew mine, which was pretty similar to yours. Then Vashti came to town and I threw the rule right out the damn window.”
Ray shrugged. “That was easy for you to do.”
“Hell no, it wasn’t.”
Ray couldn’t help but grin. He recalled the time and thought Sawyer was right. It hadn’t been easy. Like him, Sawyer hadn’t dated any of the women in town either.
Getting involved with one was the last thing Ray needed or wanted. He had too much baggage and most women wanted a man who was ready to settle down. Hell, he couldn’t settle down with one when he could very well belong to another somewhere.
“You want to talk about it?”
As much as he did, Ray knew there were some things that he had to figure out for himself. “No, I’m fine. No biggie.”
Ray knew as soon as he said it that he hoped it was true, that this thing, this intense attraction he was feeling for Ashley, would eventually fizzle out. But then, after what had happened today between them, he wasn’t sure that it would.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
NEARLY TWO WEEKS went by and Ashley began questioning if the magnitude of the kiss she and Ray had shared had scared him off for good. She’d even been tempted to instigate a chance encounter with him outside of Lafitte Seafood on the boardwalk like she’d done before, or to show up one morning at the café where he usually met for breakfast with his friends. She would talk herself out of it every time, wanting to believe this thing between them was something neither of them had the power to resist.
She knew from Vashti that July was the busiest month in Catalina Cove due to an increase in tourists. She had thoroughly enjoyed the Fourth of July parade and had hoped to see Ray but hadn’t. In a couple of weeks the cove would kick off its shrimp festival. Ashley wanted to believe that the reason Ray hadn’t come by was his busy schedule, but she knew she was only fooling herself.
She was sitting on the patio contemplating what her next move should be regarding Ray when her phone rang. She cringed, recognizing the ringtone. It was her mother. After drawing in a deep breath, she clicked on the phone. “Yes, Mom?”
“You’re still in New Orleans?”
Ashley had decided to tell her mother that she was in New Orleans working on a job project instead of letting her know exactly where she was. Her mother was known to just pop up, regardless of the location. Ashley figured New Orleans was close enough to Catalina Cove. “Yes, Mom. I told you I’d be gone all summer.”
“I know what you said but I want to know why. It’s not like you’re an employee, for heaven’s sake. You own the company. Besides, it’s not as if you have to work. With that deal he cinched before he died, Devon left you a wealthy woman. The only thing he didn’t leave you with was a baby.”
Ashley resented each time her mother said that. “Mom, is there a reason you called?”
“Of course there is a reason. Sam and I are your parents and we shouldn’t have to worry about you, but we do.”
Ashley rolled her eyes, tempted to tell her mother to keep her father out of this since he had long ago accepted she could take care of herself. Trying to keep control of her was her mother’s doing. “Neither of you should be worrying about me. I’m fine.”
“Well, we’re back in Hardeeville and disappointed you’re not here.”
She was tempted to ask why they’d returned and why they hadn’t remained in Kansas permanently. “Well, like I told you, I’m gone for the summer.” And just in case her mother got any ideas of visiting, she added, “And I’ll be busy the entire time.”
“Elliott’s been asking about you.”
She refused to show any interest in the man her mother was still trying to shove down her throat at every opportunity. “That’s nice, Mom. Now I need to go and finish up what I was doing.”
“You’re making a mistake, Ashley. I know how much you loved Devon, but you need to finally face the fact that he isn’t coming back.”
Ashley was tempted to tell her mother just how wrong she was about that. Instead she said, “I’ve really got to go, Mom. Give Dad my love. Goodbye.”
She quickly clicked off the phone, not giving her mother time to say anything else. Gathering her wineglass and the book she’d been reading in her hands, she moved from the patio and into the house, deciding to finish reading in bed.
She was about to head for her bedroom when she heard the knock on her door. Her heart rate increased a notch. Drawing in a deep breath, she moved toward the door, hoping and wishing that it was Ray. When she glanced out the peephole and saw it was him, she fought back tears of happiness and joy.
Pulling herself together and knowing she shouldn’t act as if she was overjoyed to see him, she swallowed before asking, “Who is it?”
She already knew, and glancing back through the peephole, she could tell from the expression on his face that he was aware she knew as well. The gaze holding hers in the peephole was causing shivers to race up and down her spine.
“It’s Ray, Ashley.”
His rough and sexy voice made her quiver even more. Her hands were shaking as she opened the door. And then he was standing there in jeans and an open collar shirt, looking as rough and handsome as she remembered with powerful, strong arms at his sides and staring at her with intense dark eyes. More than anything, she was tempted to throw herself into his arms, but she knew as much as she might want to do that, she couldn’t. She had to retain her calm and composure.
“Ray.” She didn’t miss the fact that his gaze was taking in every inch of her body and she felt it like a caress.
“May I come in?”
She nodded. “Yes, you may.” And she stepped aside.
* * *
IN A WAY Ray felt like a total ass, showing up at her place close to nine at night after deliberately avoiding her for almost two weeks. But tonight, he couldn’t take it anymore. He refused to drive by just to make sure things looked okay and then go home and get into bed only to toss and turn with her on his mind.
And he refused to rack his brain anymore trying to figure out why, of all the women he’d met over the past three years, it was her and only her who had captured his interest. Not only had she captured his interest, she had him wishing for things he knew he couldn’t have.
“Would you like something to drink, Ray?”
He glanced over at her, surprised she hadn’t asked why the hell he’d shown up at her place at this hour. “Yes. I’ll take a beer if you have it.”
“I do. I’ll be back in a minute.”
He watched her stroll off and thought as he always did that she looked good wearing something as simple as a pair of shorts and a top. Shoving his hands into his pockets, he glanced around, thinking how neat the place was. Still, you got a feeling someone truly lived there.
The one thing he noticed was there wasn’t a picture of her husband anywhere. He figured she’d probably placed one in her bedroom by now.
Why was he feeling a tinge of jealousy for a dead man? A man who’d undoubtedly enjoyed those kisses she’d showered Ray with the last time he was here. He’d never known such a passionate woman before. At least, in his limited scope of memory, he was sure he hadn’t known one.
“Here you are.”
Ray turned, and the moment their gazes collided, he drew in a sharp breath. He refused to believe coming here was a mistake. They had to talk. He had to get her to understand and accept that whatever this was between them had to be curtailed.
“Thanks,” he said, taking the beer bottle from her hand and sensing her nervousness.
“Would you like to sit down, Ray?”
“Yes, thanks.” He waited until she sat down on the sofa and then he took the seat opposite her. He watched when she leaned back against the sofa cushion and waited. Since he was the one who came here invading her space, he should have something to say. H
e did, but he wasn’t quite ready to say it yet. So instead he asked, “How have you been?”
She curled her legs beneath her. “I’ve been doing okay. Finally settled in. Haven’t been to town much.”
He’d noticed. At least, he hadn’t seen her around. “Did you get the chance to go to the Fourth of July parade?”
“Yes. It was nice,” she said.
“It usually is.”
“You didn’t go?”
He shook his head. “Not this year.” No need to tell her that he hadn’t gone to avoid seeing her. That kiss they’d shared had rattled his brain in ways he hadn’t expected.
He tipped his head back and took a swig of beer. He licked his lips and noticed her watching him closely. Seeing the look made his breath stall. He quickly recovered and asked, “You’re not drinking anything?”
She shook her head. “No. I had a glass of wine earlier. I usually do right before bed.”
“I knew you usually go to bed around this time and wanted to come before you did that.”
Her brow lifted. “How would you know what time I usually go to bed?”
Too late he realized just what he’d said, and his mouth suddenly went dry. He took another swig of beer and decided to level with her. “I’ve been driving by every night since you moved in. This place goes dark usually around the same time.”
* * *
RAY’S WORDS GAVE Ashley pause. He’d been driving by here every night since she’d moved in? Why? It would have to be a conscious effort on his part since she didn’t live on a main road. And if he’d taken the time to drive by, why hadn’t he stopped in? She figured he was the only person who could answer that. But then, she already knew the answer.
“I want to apologize about what happened the last time you were here, Ray.”
“You don’t owe me an apology for that, Ashley. In a way I was honored.”
“Honored?”
“Yes. I know how much you loved your husband. How much you still do. I’m glad you trusted me enough to let yourself go like that. To enjoy the moment. I should apologize to you for making you feel an apology was necessary. It’s not.”
“You left and didn’t come back.” There, she had called him out on it.
He nodded. “I’m going through some issues right now and one of the ways I’m dealing with those issues is by limiting my association with women. I’ve discovered a few things about you.”
“Such as?”
“You’re someone who is hard to resist, Ashley. I enjoy your company and deep down I know you’re not a threat.”
“A threat?”
“Yes. Like I said, I’m dealing with a few issues and I know what I can offer a woman and what I can’t. I believe you’re not a woman who would want more than I can give.”
Ashley fell silent, knowing he was wrong about that. She wanted a lot more than he was willing to give, but she would settle on taking whatever she could. But for how long?
The answer came quickly. For as long as it took.
“I guess you can say I have issues of my own, Ray,” she finally said. “I’m a woman who loves deeply.”
He nodded. “I gathered as much, and I know you can only truly love one man.”
What he said was true. “Yes, but then, I’ve never tried loving anyone else, and honestly, I’ve never wanted to. Devon and I met in college and he became my life. Don’t get me wrong. We had our ups and downs like any married couple, but we refused to give in or give up. The one time we felt our marriage threatened, we sought counseling. I think it brought us closer together.”
He took another swig of his beer and then said, “I think he was lucky to have had you.”
“And I feel lucky to have had him.” She paused a moment and then asked, “What about you and your marriage, Ray?” They’d been talking about her marriage and he might find it odd if she didn’t at least inquire.
He studied his beer bottle and then met her eyes. “My past, which includes my marriage, is what I’m having issues with right now. Hopefully one day I’ll be able to explain just what those issues are.”
She mulled that over before she said, “Appears you’re not over your wife any more than I’m over my husband.” Ashley knew that wasn’t the case but figured he needed to know what any other woman would assume.
Instead of correcting her on that assumption, he said, “You intrigue me, Ashley, and I want to spend time with you, but just as a friend.”
She nodded and then deliberately threw out a challenge. “Typically, friends don’t kiss, Ray. We did. You’re the first man I’ve kissed since losing my husband, and I think it was quite obvious just how much I enjoyed it. So how are we supposed to handle this ‘just as a friend’ thing?”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
RAY BELIEVED ONE of the reasons he was so drawn to Ashley was her honesty. Although he didn’t know her that well, there was something about her that made him feel she was a person he could trust. The only reason he hadn’t told her about his memory loss was because it was something he wasn’t ready to share with others yet. He’d finally gotten around to telling Bryce, whom he considered a good friend, a few weeks ago.
Perceptive as ever, Bryce claimed she had picked up on vibes between him and Ashley that day at the café when she and Ashley had been having lunch together. He didn’t deny he was attracted to Ashley but shared the reason why that attraction couldn’t go any further.
But even now, he would love for his hands to curl around Ashley instead of this beer bottle. She had every right to question him about his claim that friendship was all he wanted. He, of all people, knew better. The bottom line was that he had enjoyed kissing her, way too much. He had even gotten a masculine high when she’d climaxed in his arms from their kiss.
He finished off the last of his beer. Liquid courage, so to speak. But even that, he figured, wouldn’t help much. Not when she was sitting there just a few feet from him looking more sexy and beautiful than any woman had a right to look. Her hair hung loose around her shoulders and her bangs nearly covered her eyes. Nearly but not completely. He could see the inquisitiveness in their dark depths. She was waiting on an answer.
“I don’t plan on it happening again, Ashley,” he finally said.
He could tell by the look on her face that his response surprised her. “Really? Is it anything we can stop?”
Every muscle in his body seemed to tighten with her question. “We can certainly try.”
He tilted his head and studied her features and knew exactly what she was thinking. Good luck on that happening. Their gazes locked and he immediately felt it. That hot, irresistible attraction that had been there from the first. He knew her skepticism but would prove it could be done. He had to.
He watched as she slid her hair away from her eyes, as if to make sure she was seeing him and he was seeing her. He could feel the tension thrumming between them and knew even now those vibes Bryce had talked about were out in full force.
She straightened up in her seat. “Even with all our issues, Ray, I’m not sure we can just be friends. We like kissing each other. A lot. So I truly don’t understand how that would be possible.”
He leaned forward in his chair. “Because I would make it possible, Ashley. For starters, we could limit the time we spend together. I could call and check up on you if I had your phone number instead of stopping by.” He wasn’t sure why he’d said that when he would still want to stop by and see her.
“That’s fine,” she said, easing her cell phone from the pocket of her jeans. “What’s your number?”
He rattled it off, and when his phone rang, he said, “Got it.” Ray glanced at his watch. “It’s time for me to go.” He stood. “Thanks for the beer, Ashley.”
She slid gracefully to her feet. “Thanks for dropping by to check on me. I’m glad you came.” She paused a minute and then she said, �
��You know what I think, Ray?”
In a way he was almost too afraid to ask. “No. What do you think?”
“We can help each other with our issues.”
He shook his head and smiled. “I’m not so sure about that.”
She shrugged her shoulders and he watched her hair tumble around them. “Sooner or later, we’ll both want to move on with our lives. The past can’t control us forever, can it?”
Now he was the one to shrug his shoulders. “I guess not.”
“I’ll walk you to the door now. We both know what’s liable to happen if you stay here any longer.”
He didn’t say anything as he followed her to the door. She opened it and turned to him. “Thanks again for stopping by.”
Ray stared at her for a minute before saying, “I wish...”
She lifted a brow when he didn’t finish his statement. “You wish what?”
He shook his head, reclaiming his senses. “Nothing. Good night.” And then he was gone and he didn’t look back.
* * *
THE MOMENT ASHLEY heard the sound of Ray’s truck leaving, she leaned against the door and drew in a long breath. She had needed to be as straightforward with him as she could. Eventually they would sleep together and he needed to know it and own it. She wasn’t playing games; she was playing for keeps.
Her goal was to make sure he played for keeps as well. She’d known that “just friends” thing wouldn’t work the moment he’d said it. Even with a sincere smile indicating he was trying to do the right thing, he’d been looking at her in a way that had made her panties wet. He couldn’t have it both ways and she needed to make sure he knew it.
So what now? She had to wait and see. There was more at stake than sex. She couldn’t help but remember their kiss from the other day—the first she’d gotten from her husband in three years, a man supposedly dead. And whether he realized it or not, he’d put a lot of need, longing and desire into it and she’d reciprocated in kind. There was no way she could not, given their history.
Forget Me Not Page 14
