by Addison Jane
Feeling lightheaded, I nod my head once. I’m not sure I know where this is going, but the feeling building inside me is one of dread and hesitation. “Uncertainty?”
“One of the first things uncertainty brings is to the stock market, which crashes and we gain. So while the country goes into full-scale alert and meltdown, we’re benefiting from the misery. Let’s face it, they destroy infrastructure, and the businesses we have on board benefit from reconstruction.”
I can feel my face paling as I listen to him. My stomach churns while he seems almost proud of his words.
“Our intention is totally on soft targets, ones that are relatively unprotected and vulnerable. We do this for two reasons, one to minimize innocent lives lost, and two to ensure we cause the most infrastructure damage. We are not completely unconscionable, we ensure lives lost is minimal. It’s a win-win situation.”
“Oh yeah, I can see you’re scrupulous.” I cough sarcastically. “Are you telling me The Agency is virtually funding lone wolf terrorists and mafia to reap profits from economic crashes and attacks on our soil?”
He smiles, his eyes squinting like he’s the devil incarnate, it sends a chill down my spine. “No Kace, The Agency is the terrorists.”
Lily gasps as my heart pounds so hard in my chest I want to scream. All this time I’ve been working for the wrong side.
How could I have been so stupid as to not see this?
“But what is SO7’s part in all of this?”
“You know SO7 is a black ops team funded solely by The Agency. SO7 is off grid, and works on a need-to-know basis so only a specialized few know about its existence for obvious reasons. You’re assassins, trained hackers, infiltrators, the cream of the crop, and you work for The Agency to find the families, loved ones and associates of the known radicals on the Watch Lists. Once you’ve found them, we issue the waste orders for their families or loved ones to coerce them into cooperating fully with The Agency. If they think their families are threatened… especially after you take one of them out, they’re more likely to collaborate and work for us. You, as an SO7 Operative, think you’re taking out the terrorists, mafia heads, and cartel leaders. When, in fact, you’re murdering innocent civilians that just happen to be in their lives.”
“This is fucking crazy! What the hell do you get for helping businesses profit from a failing economy? How can a government agency benefit from that?”
He smirks. “It doesn’t. Shit, you’re slow. Your mother was the one who saw how this could all work for us… this is her love child. She saw that if The Agency started under-handing its dealings then certain people could profit from it. Her… me… Senators who sit in Congress… are all in on it too. This is not just The Agency, Kace… this filters through the entire government system.”
“But the President—“
“Of course, the President has no idea…” he cuts me off, “…nor his cabinet or trusted advisors. Basically, it all started with Camilla, and you had no idea you were working for the wrong side all this time. It was working flawlessly… until Lily.”
Anger bubbles inside of me making me see flashes of red. I want to kill him so badly, but I can’t, I need to know why Lily is involved. “Why Lily?”
He chuckles. “It’s silly really. Her dad, her real dad, was involved heavily in a drug cartel ring. He died of course, and he being in the cartel was the only thing we could pin on her to make her sound like a traitor to The Agency, to the government.”
Lily steps forward shaking her head and furrowing her brows. “But I’ve had nothing to do with my father. So why bother taking me out, I don’t understand?”
He laughs a belly laugh and shakes his head. “Wow! You two really are dense. It was Camilla. She saw you two were getting close, and she didn’t want Lily to become a distraction for you Kace. So she did some digging, found something that could work. We falsified records to show she took the place of her father as head of the Sinclair Syndicate. I approved it, and then she put out a waste order to void the distraction. It’s all bullshit, of course.”
Lily scoffs.
He’s so fucking arrogant, you can clearly see he has no issue with any of this.
My anger burns so red hot I’m not sure I can contain it. My mother, the woman I trusted with everything—my job, my life, fucking everything—has put a hit on my neighbor just because she showed interest in me? Not only that, but she’s organizing terrorists, mafia, cartels, and God knows what else to destroy the very economic foundations of the country I’m so proud to be a part of.
Who the hell is she?
What the hell has Mark turned her into?
My breathing becomes harsh and ragged, my heart pounds so frantically I can’t think straight. I know what happens next, and I have a little bit of sanity remaining to do what needs to be done.
“Lily, go outside. Now,” I demand.
She doesn’t stop to ask questions as she turns and runs outside. The slamming of the door is all I need to spur me on.
“You ruined my family. You killed my father. You turned my mother into a monster. You have committed untold atrocities and crimes against America. For that… you must pay.”
His eyes open wide as he shakes his head from side to side slowly while I stalk toward him fork still in hand. “Kace, you’re like a son to me. You don’t have to do th—”
The fork stabs straight into the side of his neck. Blood spurts out to the rhythm of his heartbeat as muffled gurgles echo through the room. As I twist the fork a little more, my heart pounds furiously while I seek my vengeance. His body shudders as blood swirls down his neck in a red torrent. I pull the fork from his flesh and move in behind him wrapping my arm around his throat.
“God bless America,” I say then swiftly spin my arms snapping his neck. His head falls to the side limply as his body sags lifelessly.
A calm washes over me as I take a deep breath.
Living in this new world, it’s a world I want no part of.
My feet feel heavy as I stomp outside to find Lily. Pushing the door open, I step out into the crisp night air, running my hands through my hair violently pulling at it. My breath is so rushed and harsh spittle is flying from my mouth as Lily glides up to me.
“Don’t!” I yell at her.
She flinches and looks at me as I pace the back porch. “Kace… I…” she pauses holding herself as my heart races and my head is a foggy mess of chaos.
Everything I’ve done, all the lives I’ve taken, they’ve all been innocent players in this fucking game that my mother, of all people, has been playing.
“Fuck! Lily, don’t you get it? My life… everything… it’s all a fucking joke.”
She steps forward and I take a giant step backward. Her eyes gloss over with tears as I continue to pace around the back porch. My fists come down to my sides clenching so tightly my knuckles crack with the force of the squeeze as they turn a ghostly white.
“It’s okay. We can make this right,” she whispers.
“Ha! Can we? Wow! Can you fix government corruption? How can you fix a country that’s irrevocably broken? How can you fix… me?”
She reaches out for me again, but I pull back not wanting her to touch me. If she does, I might taint her, or worse I might hurt her because I’m so wound up. “Kace, let me help you through this.”
“No.” I put my hand up and shake my head, my face stern, my body shaking with anger and resentment. Not toward Lily, but toward the fuckers that have been in charge of my life for so long, and have now effectively destroyed it. “You have to go. You have to leave, you can’t stay with me. I’m too dangerous, the darkness has consumed me, Lily, and I can’t dig my way out this time.”
She shakes her head, tears welling in her eyes. “Kace… no. Without you by my side I’m an open target. I need you. You’re my light, Kace, don’t you get that?”
Her words shoot a pain straight through my chest, but it doesn’t ease the shudder running through my spine and the anger seepi
ng through my soul.
“Lily, I know you think you’re better off with me, but I’m an assassin who’s responsible for countless lost lives. Women, children, men, the elderly, who were all fucking innocent. I killed them, Lily. Without hesitation. Without remorse. I’m lethal. I’m deadly. And if you stay with me you’re going to die, too.”
She swallows hard and shakes her head. “Kace, I’d rather die by your side than out on my own at the hands of your team.”
Anger seeps through my every pore. My fist clenches tight as I bring my hand up and crash it into the wall smashing through the wood paneling. She jumps as I groan out loud in almighty frustration.
“You don’t get it, Lily, I want you gone. I don’t want you with me!”
She steps back from me, her bottom lip trembling as she shakes her head slightly, her eyes watering so much, a tear falls down her cheek. My chest tightens so painfully tight, I can’t breathe watching her as she cowers away from me.
“You’re only saying this ‘cause you’re scared!”
My teeth grind together, and my nostrils flare as I glare at her. “You’re damn right I’m scared, Lily. I’m going to kill you. I don’t want to, but with my history of killing innocent civilians somehow you’re going to end up dead, and it’s going to be all on me. So you need to leave. You need to run. Get as far away from me as possible, because I can’t be held responsible for another innocent dying because of me. The evil is swallowing me, Lily, it’s swallowing me whole and I can no longer escape… this is where I belong. But you, you’re the good in the world and you don’t belong with someone who’s so unconscionable as to have committed all these atrocities to not only humans but to America. I love this country, Lily, and I’m no better than a motherfucking terrorist. My soul is black, you can’t be a part of that.”
“Then let me help you Kace, let me bring you back from the depths of your despair. I know how hard this must be for you—”
“Do you? Do you really? I don’t think you can truly grip just how fucking unbearable this is for me, Lily. Because right now, I want to take a gun and shove it in my mouth to make myself accountable for all the sins I’ve committed. But that would be the easy way out, and not punishment enough for the heinous acts I’ve completed. I need to suffer, and the only way to do that is to see the faces of my victims in my dreams, to remember each and every waste order as they begged for mercy while I stripped them of their life without a second thought. Because that is the guy you are trying to save, Lily. A cold hearted murderer. Do you really think I’m worth saving now?”
Her face hardens and she storms to me with harshness in her stride. It stuns me to the spot as her hand comes up, her open palm colliding with my cheek as my head swings to the side, the vibration of the slap stinging right through my face. I turn my head back to her with a glare as she stands tall and strong.
“Don’t you dare, Kace Colt! Don’t you make yourself out to be a bad guy. You were doing your job, and you thought you were taking out the very bad of the bad. If you knew those people were innocents, you wouldn’t have touched them. Hell, you would’ve warned them and set them free. I know you, Kace, better than you know yourself it seems. And you’re not a calculated cold-hearted killer. You are a protector, a savior and a survivor, and you will get through this. You will claw your way out of that endless pit to find the light, even if I have to break the fucking window and shine that motherfucking sun down on you myself. Do you hear me?”
I raise my eyebrow slightly in awe. Her light is trying to slowly creep in, but the darkness still swirls and surrounds me with suffocating control. I can’t seem to shake the dread and angst I feel invading my senses.
Exhaling, I shake my head turning from her with a huff and run my fingers through my hair. “In theory you’re right, but the truth is I still killed them. All of them. My father was murdered, my mother is a murderer and responsible for the terrorist attacks on America, which has caused the downturn in our economy. That alone has resulted in so many people going bankrupt and losing their homes and businesses, all so a few greedy bastards can line their pockets.”
I shake my head letting out a long slow breath. “I always thought the money Mom had was a result of Dad’s life insurance policy. I never questioned the fact that she had gorgeous houses, cars, and designer clothing. That and the fact that her job is high paying. Why didn’t I look into it further? Why did it take me so long to question the authority? Why did this happen? How did this happen? I have so many questions, Lily. How can I trust anyone? How can I trust myself? Can I trust my team? Did they know what was going on? We’re no better than the terrorist themselves.”
I hear her exhale, but she doesn’t try to approach me. I breathe harshly, I’m seething as I watch a sweat bead run down my nose and drip off. I’m so hot, and every muscle in my body is tense from pure adrenaline.
“Kace, we can get those answers, but we need to do it together. You need someone to ground you, to remind you why you’re here.”
I turn to face her and raise my eyebrow. “Why am I here, Lily? I thought I knew, but everything is a lie.”
She steps closer to me and half smiles. “You’re here to serve and protect your country. You’re here to make this right. You know what’s going on now, and instead of wallowing and sinking, you have to rise up, be strong, be bold, and fucking fight. You need to find out what’s happening and get things back to the way they’re supposed to be. You need to fight for the innocent civilians, Kace. You need to fight… for me.” Her hand reaches out and touches my shoulder. I flinch and back away from her.
She shouldn’t touch me.
I’m dark.
I’m drowning in darkness.
So much so, I can’t see any glimmer of hope right now.
“Kace?” Lily questions.
“Don’t touch me, Lily.”
She steps in front of me, her beautiful face lit up by the silver moonlight showing me her perfect dimples and furrowed brows. “Don’t tell me what to do!” she demands.
“I’ve dragged you into this, you should hate me.”
Her hand comes up, and she caresses my cheek tenderly, her soft fingers rub gently up and down my skin making some of my numbness seep away.
“Like I could ever hate you, Kace. You risked your life to keep me safe. You went against your friends, your family. I can’t ever repay you for that.”
Looking into her eyes, despair still sits in the pit of my stomach, but I need to focus on what’s important. Lily is, and always has been, my light. And as I look at her now I know I have to do everything to keep her in my life, to keep her safe. She grounds me, keeps me sane, she stops me from drowning.
“Let’s find somewhere safe to sleep, get cleaned up, and order some food,” I suggest, and she smiles leaning in and embracing me.
“There he is! Welcome back,” she says.
I smile wrapping my arm around her and start to head back to the car.
“Where are we going?” I ask Kace as we slowly move through the suburban streets.
It feels good to be back in Washington DC. It’s home. It almost makes me feel like we aren’t on the run anymore. That we’re finally heading home. But we aren’t. We’re far from heading home. The things that Mark had told Kace has opened a whole new world of drama.
I’m floored.
Kace is angry.
I want to soothe him. To bring back the light I know that this new information has stolen from him, but I’m not quite sure how. It’s a clusterfuck of epic proportions, and we’re settled directly in the middle.
“We’re going to a safe house,” he answers simply, his eyes not moving from the road.
My stomach tightens. “Kace, is that really safe?”
The long growth of stubble on his face fails to cover his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallows. “Luca is the only other person who knows about it.”
I turn my body to face him, staring in awe at the side of his face. “Oh, you mean the same Luca who is trying
to kill us? That Luca?”
I see the corner of Kace’s mouth twitch, and while my body seems to relax a little at seeing the show of emotion on his face, my stomach still wants to expel its contents all over the dashboard.
“Whether he’s going to follow through with those orders or not, I need to at least tell him what I know before it happens,” he answers on a sigh. “Then, it will be up to him whether he’s going to do something about it.”
“You just killed the head of The Agency, Kace! Something tells me he isn’t going to sit down with us and have coffee while you explain what’s going on.” I blow out a frustrated breath. “You’re risking our lives on the off chance that Luca will listen?”
My body jolts as Kace suddenly directs the car off the road and pulls up at the curb. I grip the door as he slams on the breaks, my heart beginning to race. “What?” I ask frantically, looking around, but his eyes are on me only.
His predatory stare pierces my skin. He reaches over and slides his hand over my cheek, threading his fingers through my hair and using it to pull my face closer to his. I move with him, entranced by the deep hooded look in his eyes. “Listen to me.”
I nod, having to remind myself to breathe. The connection between Kace and I can’t be denied. It’s been there since the start and no matter what happens, I will spend the rest of my days on the run with him if that’s what it takes to have him in my life.
I’d basically given up on men before Kace invaded my life and refused to leave. Maybe that’s what I need. Maybe I need someone to fight for me, and Kace has done just that. He fought not just to be with me, but he fought for my life. He basically stood between me and a loaded gun.
Was that a sacrifice any man would make? No.
“I will never, let anything happen to you,” he says seriously, his voice full of emotion. “I have markers, people who owe me shit, all over the fucking world. If I have to ship you to Siberia, then I will if it means you’ll continue to breathe.”
