“I didn’t think you would either.”
“Shows you how much you know.”
“All right, fine. I’m not judging you or anyone else who uses those services. It takes all the fun out of it. Doesn’t it?” Sure, he believed in planning, but even he realized you couldn’t plan who you fell in love with.
He’d known that the first time he met Ivey, who’d nearly chopped off her finger in a high school Home Ec cooking class. He’d been the one tasked to take her to the office for first aid, which he’d administered himself when the health clerk had been otherwise occupied.
“Don’t you know how to hold a knife?” he’d asked, his bedside manner at the time sadly lacking.
“I guess not,” she’d answered as she smiled at him through watery eyes. “Thanks for helping me.”
He’d looked at her. Really seen her for the first time. He didn’t see Beth Lancaster’s daughter, the dyslexic girl who’d been placed in an at-risk group early on. He only saw Ivey, and something in his heart had pinched and constricted.
He’d never been the same again.
“As someone who plans, you should try online dating. You can pick the qualities you want in a mate.”
He supposed that was a dig, but a person didn’t get an MD after their name without some preparation.
“I’ll pass. But if I’d been able to pick from a list of qualities, I might have picked someone who could cook.” Unless it came out of a can or a box, Ivey would have starved to death.
“Funny.”
“Is that what you did? Looked at a list of qualities you wanted and checked them off one by one?”
She sighed. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”
Well if they weren’t going to talk, he had some other ideas of how to fill the time. He stood, taking his chances, and held out his hand. “Dance?”
Ivey rose to meet him. “You want to dance? But you don’t know how. Have you learned?”
“All right, you got me. Not really, but I want to hold you tight.”
“At least you’re honest.” She didn’t resist when he took her in his arms right there on the blanket and pressed her against him. He held his hands near the small of her back, and her arms rose to his neck, as she gazed right into his eyes. He swallowed hard.
He couldn’t still love her. Could he? Love didn’t stay in a suspended state of animation for years and then suddenly surge to the front. This was lust, pure and simple. He had it bad for Ivey. Always had.
“Hey, do you remember when we used to listen to concerts here?” Ivey smiled up at him.
He did. And if he didn’t stop thinking about that, he would soon be too hard to continue this slow dance of torture. “Yeah,” he managed to say. He’d forgotten his brain stopped working when she was this close.
He ran a hand through her hair, the silkiness making his fingers feel like sandpaper. Ivey gazed up at him, but he couldn’t figure out if what he saw in her eyes was desire or plain confusion. Still, he took his opening and bent down and covered her mouth with his. He tried not to groan as her mouth opened in welcome and he deepened the kiss. She tasted like vanilla and memories, the best ones—long summer nights by the river when the choice between her and Gray’s Anatomy had been a no-brainer. Funny how the pain she had caused him faded into the background now.
He could feel her hands clinging to him like she used to when she’d been filled with need, but her fingers shook as they wrapped around his arms. “You’re trembling,” he said, stroking the curve of her face.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “You do that to me.”
“Yeah? Totally flattered.” It took him a minute to realize the song had ended and the rest of the crowd danced to a different one he didn’t even recognize.
Still they stood holding each other like maybe they were trying to make up for lost time. He leaned his forehead against Ivey’s and heard her sigh. A warm summer night, the hint of honeysuckle in the air, Ivey in his arms at last. It was too perfect.
Which is why it shouldn’t have surprised him when Ali walked up and almost wedged herself between them. “Hi, Ivey. Welcome back.”
“Ali,” Ivey said, taking a step away from him.
“So this is embarrassing. Looks like I might have interrupted something.” Ali glanced from Ivey to him, and pierced him with her Big Sister look.
He and Ivey spoke at once.
“You didn’t interrupt anything,” Ivey said.
“Yes, you did.”
“Mom and Dad are around here somewhere. Have you seen them?” Ali continued, despite his do-you-want-to-die stare. The look had worked when he was fourteen and she had made it her mission to make sure he stayed on the straight and narrow—otherwise known as tattling—but the glare wasn’t working for him now. He loved Ali, but he already had a mother.
“Nope, but I’ll catch up with them later.”
Ali turned to Ivey. “So what’s this I saw on the news about your aunt’s condo being repossessed? Wow, that’s some excitement, huh? We don’t get the FBI much in little ole Starlight Hill.”
The unspoken message seemed to be: “leave it to you and your aunt to bring the FBI to town.” It took great effort to remember that his sister was only looking out for him, and that she didn’t want to see him hurt again. Without thinking, he reached for Ivey’s hand and squeezed it. “This all has to do with Ben Cartwright, and making restitution to his investors. It has nothing to do with Ivey or her aunt.”
Someone or something slammed into his knees, and he looked down to see Becky. Bob followed behind her, holding a sleeping Liam.
“Hey, squirt.”
“Uncle Jeff! I saw a clown! He painted my face! And I have a balloon!” Becky babbled. The kid was so filled with excitement he half expected her to levitate.
“She’s had too much sugar,” Ali said, by way of explanation.
“Becky, this is my friend, Ivey.” Jeff introduced two of his favorite girls. Once Ali would have qualified too, except that right now he wanted to kill her.
“Hi! I’m four! How old are you?” Becky asked, reminding him of a spinning top.
“You don’t ask grown-ups how old they are,” Bob the Saint corrected with a sigh.
But Jeff couldn’t help notice that Ivey smiled at Becky like she’d seen the sun set in gold, red, and orange. “That’s okay. I’m old, too old to count.”
“No, you’re not!” Becky laughed, and climbed out of his arms. “My Grandma’s old.” She started running in the general direction of the street, Bob following quickly behind.
“I better go too,” Ali said with a conciliatory look in her eyes. “Nice seeing you.”
Jeff turned to Ivey when they’d left. “That’s Ali’s family. Becky isn’t usually wound up like that. She’s smart as a whip though.”
“And adorable.”
“Thanks. I am rather partial to her.” Someday if he were lucky enough to have children, he hoped they’d challenge him as much as Becky did. She made him see things in new ways, in different colors and shapes. Ali said kids had a way of doing that.
He took Ivey’s hand, and she went willingly with him away from the crowds and closer to the creek that ran in the back of the park. “I’m sorry about Ali. She’s worried about me.”
“Worried about you?” The tone in Ivey’s voice suggested that she couldn’t fathom a reason why Ali would worry about big, capable Jeff Garner. “Surely she knows you left me.”
He cleared his throat. This was the hard part. Not the way he worked, but maybe it was time to make some changes. He would have to let his heart take the lead, because his brain was currently disengaged. “Yeah, of course she does. But here’s the thing. She also knows what I haven’t told you yet.”
By the creek, a slight breeze kicked up and he instinctively pulled Ivey closer.
“What haven’t you told me yet?” He could feel it as her tiny frame tightened in expectation of another blow. Not surprising, since she’d lived her life recov
ering from a series of small shocks.
He let go of her and dragged a hand through his hair. “This isn’t easy to say.”
“Say it.”
Right. “What you don’t know is that after I said I needed a break I regretted it. Instead of calling you, I planned a surprise. You like surprises, I know that. Anyway, I asked for my grandmother’s wedding ring, came home right after finals and picked it up. But you weren’t home because you went to meet up with the guy you met on a dating service. And that’s the truth.”
Humiliating though it was, the truth felt liberating. And now he didn’t feel like such an asshole. Yeah, maybe he’d made a selfish mistake, but he’d tried to correct it. He expected Ivey to be happy now, to know that he too had regrets. And that the joke had been on him.
But of all the things he expected, not one of them was to watch her burst into tears.
11
“Before I apologize, I need to know what I did wrong.” Jeff pressed his forehead to hers.
The strong beat of his heart pulsed under her fingertips. With a slight push she turned away and faced the creek, trying hard to swallow a sob. “You did nothing wrong.”
Every star winked back in the inky black night, but she had no words. No words for the unfairness of it all. For the irony. If she’d only waited one lousy month. She wouldn’t have even been showing, so she would have had the pleasure of a proposal knowing it hadn’t been born out of necessity. But beyond that, not much else would have been different.
He still might have had to drop out of school. They would have still wound up hating each other. No, she’d done the right thing.
She’d fixed it. Fixed everything. Only problem, she’d never had what she wanted. Maybe now it was finally her time.
Perhaps from this point forward she wouldn’t cheat herself anymore. Stop making excuses and believing she didn’t deserve to be happy. Tell the truth and let people deal with it. Take what she wanted, and try like hell to be happy. Life was too short.
And this man happened to be all she’d ever wanted from the moment she’d first laid eyes on him. Granted, most people didn’t discover the love of their lives at sixteen, but she wasn’t most people.
Neither was he for that matter. He happened to be—everything. And she deserved him.
Jeff came up behind her, his arms encircling her, head bent low to her neck. “Tell me you’re okay.”
She turned to face him. “I am, but we’re going to have to set Ali straight.”
“Don’t worry about her.” His thumb traced the edge of her eye, wiping away a tear.
“I have to worry about her. She’s your sister, and she loves you. She’s upset with me, and I get it. But she has to know that I’m not letting you go this time.”
The furrowed brow eased and his face broke out in a smile. A surge of love kicked her in the gut so hard that it spread down and around to the back of her knees.
“Yeah?”
She rose to the tips of her toes to kiss him square on the lips, where she’d wanted to kiss him for weeks. He deepened the kiss, and she felt warmth as it spread down her legs, and to the soles of her feet. He tasted so good, warm and wet and hard under her touch. She let her hands wander down his back and then up his flat stomach, while his fingers threaded through her hair, holding her firmly in place. As if she would dream of going anywhere.
She pulled back, breathless and hazy but most of all certain. “Let’s go.”
They didn’t bother saying goodbye to anyone as they left the park, and Jeff tugged on her hand like he thought if he didn’t hurry she might change her mind.
Once at the cottage, when the door to the rest of the world closed and they were two lovers alone with their thoughts and their history, Jeff kissed the hollow of her throat and whispered near her ear. “Are you sure?”
She answered by leaping into his arms and wrapping her legs around his waist. Holding the back of his neck she kissed him hard, letting all the hurt, regret, anger, and pain slide right out of her body. “What do you think?”
He carried her to his bed and gently lowered her, his arms cradling her like she was something precious and breakable. She wanted to show him that she wasn’t fragile any more. Instead she was strong and capable and ready to risk it all.
Eager, she fumbled to take her jeans off, fighting with a zipper that didn’t understand how important this moment was to her. He’d once whispered that nothing turned him on quite as much as her eagerness for him, but he stayed her hand before she removed her black bra and panties.
“Slow down, Little Face.” He ran his fingers under the satiny strap, and the warmth of his hand made her shiver.
“I don’t know if I can.”
“Me either, but I’m going to try,” he said as he pulled her bra strap down and his mouth covered her breast.
In the back of her mind there was something she hadn’t told him, but for now the uncomfortable truth faded to black because it was so much better to feel, to love, to touch him everywhere. The rest would take care of itself. She had to believe it.
Her eyes were closed, and she hadn’t realized it until Jeff spoke. “Look at me.”
And she did, taking it all in, the way he moved above her, causing her such pleasure she might jump out of her skin.
“I see you,” she said on a sigh.
She saw everything she’d ever known about him and never forgotten. The way he knew how to love her, never judging her, seeing her heart even before she’d ever showed it to him.
As wave after wave of pleasure hit her, there were no words left. Only sensations that carried her away.
Ivey sighed in Jeff’s arms and snuggled in closer. This was bliss, lying in his arms. Feeling his heart beat next to hers. She hadn’t wanted to admit it, but all that serial dating had amounted to the fact that there had never been anyone else for her except for Jeff Garner.
“I don’t want to go anywhere else, ever again. Let’s stay right here.”
“Deal.” Jeff ran his hand along the small of her back, and she settled in to the fact that his hands were not going to stop touching her for the foreseeable future. A little bit like heaven. “Maybe we should sleep for a while. I don’t want to tire you out. The first time we were both a bit carried away, and it was too quick for me, but the second time felt more like we were getting reacquainted. And the third time we tried something new.”
She felt a blush coming on. “I liked that.”
“I could tell.” He kissed her forehead. “We may get into the swing of this the fourth time.”
“But first I need to rest. For a little while.” Ivey laid her head on his chest, listening to his strong and steady heartbeat. She’d missed this—him—so much that fears clouded her vision. She could lose him, because she had once before. He’d told her his secret. Now could she tell him hers? Would he still want her after that?
Yes he would. He wanted to marry you, remember? If he still didn’t feel that way, would he have told her at all?
Her cell phone rang and Jeff groaned. She reached for it, but it was closer to him so he grabbed it first.
He playfully held it out of her reach. “Give me. It might be important. Remember I’m covering for Marissa this weekend.”
“What will you give me for it?” He had a wicked smile on his face.
“I think you know what I’ll give you.” Ivey let her hand dive under the covers and he jumped.
“You’ve got a deal,” he said as he handed her the phone.
When Ivey answered she heard a moan on the other end. So either someone was having sex or about to have a baby. “This is Ivey. Hello?”
“It’s Asia. Foster. Ow! Oh, mother of God that hurts. Are you going to help me or what?” Asia sounded pushy and in pain.
“Of course I will,” Ivey said as she swatted Jeff’s hand away from her breast. “What’s going on?”
“I’m having a baby, Einstein. Are you sure you’re qualified to do this?”
All right,
so maybe Asia was a little bitchy as well. “How far apart are the contractions?”
“That’s the thing. There’s no pattern. Eleven minutes, seven minutes, eight minutes, twelve. What should I do? It’s not like it says in the book!”
Ivey jumped out of bed and collected clothes from the floor. How had Asia done this? She was about to have a baby on the day she’d planned. It was one wild coincidence. “It’s enough of a pattern. I’ll be over in a few minutes. Don’t worry. We still have plenty of time.”
“You have to go,” Jeff said when she hung up.
For the first time since she’d been doing this, she’d rather stay home than go deliver a baby into the world. That might be because Jeff lay on his back, arms splayed behind his neck, only the thinnest of sheets covering him. Especially difficult, because she was well acquainted with what lay under the sheet.
“Lousy timing, but babies have their own schedule.”
“So I’ve heard.”
“I’ll make this up to you.” She leaned down and gave him a long, deep kiss.
He grinned. “You better.”
One quick shower later, which Jeff couldn’t talk Ivey into sharing with him, and she was off. Now he stood alone in the kitchen, fully dressed but not happy about it, heating up a can of chicken soup. It took him a few minutes to realize he was whistling. Whistling.
A couple of uninterrupted hours with Ivey had done that. At first he hadn’t known what to expect, being together after all these years, but it was better than he could have imagined. Better than his oldest fantasies. He hadn’t been a monk all these years, but he had cheated himself. There was nothing quite like sex with someone you loved, and he’d done that for the first time in years tonight.
She remembered him. The way he liked to be touched, everything he’d taught her about how to please him. And she’d done that tonight, with the kind of passion he remembered. Ivey wasn’t shy or retiring with him, she was eager and took what she wanted. This had to be love, the kind that didn’t fade away, and from now on he wasn’t going to settle for anything less.
Starlight Hill: Complete collection 1-8 Page 11
