That was laying it on a little thick. Kailey was trying too desperately to make friends with Gen. His heart squeezed uncomfortably in his chest.
Gen turned to Kailey. “It just takes a little patience. I can give you cooking lessons anytime you like.”
“Great,” Kailey said.
“No need,” Joe added. “I can cook. I may not be a savant, but we won’t starve.”
He didn’t want Kailey thinking she had to be like Gen, a little Martha Stewart wannabe.
“I can vouch for Joe’s cooking,” Wallace said. “He cooked for me once when we were camping and I didn’t die or anything.”
Joe laughed. “I can cook the hell out of a steak.”
“I want to learn,” Kailey said and squeezed his hand.
“The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach,” Gen said.
Joe grinned. “Kailey took a different route, but it doesn’t matter. She still got to the same place.”
Wallace let out a half snort half laugh and Kailey kicked Joe under the table.
After dinner Joe was forced to be the one to sit front and center for their Skype conversation. He was flanked on either side by Gen and Kailey. Wallace sat behind Gen. After about three rings, Joe’s mother appeared on the screen, squinting as usual.
“Hello, my babies!” She waved into the camera. “Joe, your face! Oh my Lord above!”
“It was a plane crash. Believe me, I look great considering. I feel—” It would be a lie to say awesome, because he was still as sore as a drowned fire ant. “A little sore.”
“Our boy’s doing great, Mama!” Gen leaned in.
“Hello, Sugar. You takin’ care of your brother?” Mom adjusted her bifocals and squinted again.
“No one needs to take care of me,” Joe said and made a show of putting out his hands and arms. Then he stood up to show he still had legs. “Everything still works. Convinced?”
“Kailey’s taking care of Joe,” Gen added, sticking her face in front of the camera.
“Who?” Mom asked.
Joe cringed. Suddenly this didn’t seem like the best idea. Kailey deserved better, but what could he do? He was a grown-ass man who had long ago passed the need for his mother’s approval. Still, he could only imagine how Gen might feel.
He pulled her close and into the camera’s view. “Mom, meet Kailey Robbins.”
“Hi Mrs. Hannigan,” Kailey said.
“Aren’t you pretty? Let me ask you, Kailey. Now would you ever get married in a drive-through?”
“Mom,” Joe warned. She was still tripping over Gen’s disaster of a first marriage, but it was in bad taste to bring it up right now. She and Wallace were planning a huge wedding and Gen was happier than she’d ever been.
“Never mind, I didn’t think you would,” Mom said. “You look like you got some good sense on you.”
“Mama, if you don’t quit it Wallace and I will elope,” Gen said.
“Now don’t you get in a snit. Joe, there must be something wrong with this here screen.” She seemed to put her hands on her monitor and suddenly all he could see was a great shot of Mom’s nose. “It looks like Kailey there has pink hair. Isn’t that the funniest thing!”
Gen giggled and Kailey squirmed beside him.
Joe guessed if Kailey was still here tomorrow, she might be serious about staying because who else would put up with this?
He and Wallace were finally excused when the topic turned to wedding plans. Kailey, a good sport, continued to sit next to Gen.
Wallace nudged Zeus from his sound sleep. “C’mon, you’re going for a walk, old man.”
Gen had rescued the ninety pound mutt from certain death a few months ago. Joe had tried to talk her out of it but she’d been determined. “I don’t know how you have room for him in here.”
“He sleeps inside on the floor unless he farts. One fart and it’s a night under the stars for him.” Wallace opened the trailer door and Joe waited for Zeus to sigh, get up and follow his master out the door.
Tonight was another clear spring night, a light breeze wafting through the air. He could hear Gen and Kailey’s laughter echoing from inside. Something told him he could get used to nights like this. Not long ago, he’d imagined a life with Kailey. A bigger house with room to grow, spending time with family and good friends. Eventually, kids. But he’d learned the hard way that life with Kailey meant taking one day at a time.
When she couldn’t handle living here, he’d been willing to go back to their friends-with-benefits status. Better than nothing, he’d reasoned, even if he wanted a lifetime with her. On some level he understood why Kailey had broken it off last month. They’d reached an all or nothing point in their relationship. She’d chosen nothing. Until now.
“Beautiful night,” Joe said.
He followed Wallace towards the house he was building. He’d made good progress considering it had only been February when he’d purchased the lot. Since he’d asked Gen to marry him right afterwards, it was a small wonder all the framing was done and some sheetrock already up.
Wallace showed him around the property again, and the places he’d worked to level. He’d been busy.
“Kailey seems to be settling in,” Wallace said, following Zeus.
“Right.” Even if Joe still wasn’t sure, Kailey appeared to be determined this time. The problem was that he didn’t want her forcing anything. To be happy, she would need to love this town as much as he did.
“Hope she stays.” Wallace looked out into the dark night.
“Yeah,” Joe said. “I don’t know. Sometimes I look at her and I see a trapped animal. Like the wild rabbit we caught when we were kids.”
“You remember that? Thrashing around in the box until we opened the lid.”
“Then it wouldn’t leave the box until we picked it up and set it on the ground.”
“Didn’t know how.”
“I know Kailey wants to be here now, but I don’t want her staying only because of me.” The words he wouldn’t say out loud were that he wasn’t sure if she could stay. And he couldn’t fix her. She’d have to do this on her own.
“Did you talk about before? What made her go?” Wallace asked.
“No,” Joe answered. “We’ve never been too big on talking.”
Wallace grinned. “Understood.”
“She said she left because of a job offer, but I figured she didn’t appreciate our small town atmosphere. She’s more of a big city, get lost in the crowd girl. And she likes to move around. A lot.”
“What’s changed?”
“Good question. I think it was the accident, and that won’t be enough. Not for the long haul.”
“Yeah.” Wallace nodded. “Honestly? You’ve never looked happier than since you met her.”
True enough since when things were good with Kailey, it felt like flying into a red sunset. Like the smoothest of landings.
When it was bad, she was gone.
9
Tonight had gone better than Kailey could have hoped.
“I think your mother might like me,” she said when Joe opened the front door to his house and flipped on the light switch. “Except for the pink hair. An easy enough fix.”
“Don’t even think about it.” Joe threw his keys on the kitchen counter.
“Why? You like it?” She twirled some of the pink strands.
“Don’t change it unless you want to change it.”
“It was fun helping plan Gen’s wedding. I’ve never done that on Skype.”
“Kind of doubt anyone has. I’m going to take a shower and let the hot water pound on my aching back.” Joe peeled off his shirt, leaving Kailey temporarily speechless.
“Or I can give you a massage.” Was that her voice sounding high, shrill and desperate? Her massages were horrible exercises in pushing flesh around in circles and they both realized it. They more or less led to other types of touching.
The fun kind.
“Maybe later. Right now you can join me
in the shower.” He grinned and started walking towards the bathroom.
Showers with Joe were an experience for all five senses. She resisted the urge to race him to the shower, because she had even more good news for him. Now he’d realize how serious she was about staying. “I told your mom and Gen I’d do their hair for the wedding.”
Joe whipped around. “Why?”
“She wants me to. Did I tell you I’m doing Mrs. Turlock’s hair for her wedding next month? She was at the salon and she asked if I would do it.”
“That’s next month.”
“Yeah. So?” Kailey studied Joe. He almost didn’t have to answer because suddenly she could see it in his eyes. He didn’t trust her.
Maybe he never would again.
“Look, I don’t want Gen to be disappointed. This is a big deal to her, and her wedding isn’t going to be for another six months or longer.”
The words sliced through her heart. “And you don’t think I’ll be here.”
“Kailey—”
“No, I get it. I didn’t stay last time, and you don’t trust me.”
He didn’t answer, only stared at her. The silence beat at her battered heart like surf pounding the sand.
It was possible she hadn’t considered the real reason. “Do you even want me to stay?”
“I think you know the answer.” He looked annoyed. Annoyed!
When he hadn’t asked her to stay this time. He hadn’t given her the ring. The one she wasn’t supposed to know about. Yet it niggled at her brain every day, sitting in the sock drawer, mocking her.
You’ll never get him back. You missed your chance. We’re going on someone else’s finger!
“No, I don’t know. You never asked me to stay this time and I’m not a mind reader. You say you love me but you won’t let me help.”
“I’ve let you help. Don’t be crazy.”
“Crazy, Joe? How have you let me help you? I had to practically knock you down to hand you your pain pills. You won’t let me drive you anywhere—”
“Your car isn’t safe.”
“You don’t want me to cook for you, or do your laundry, and now you don’t want me to do Gen’s hair. You may not want my help but she does!”
“Calm down.” He reached for her but she swatted him away.
“Don’t you tell me to calm down! I am calm!”
She was so freaking calm her hands weren’t even shaking. For the first time, she was going to tell Joe exactly what she thought. And if he kicked her out right now, she probably wouldn’t be any worse off anyway.
“Do you want to know what’s wrong with you? You’re way too tough. A plane practically lands on you and you won’t let anyone help you. No, you go out for a drink the night you come home from the hospital. So, you’re fine. Okay Joe. I get it. Check. You don’t need anyone. You don’t need me.”
“Listen—”
“I’m not done talking.”
His eyebrow quirked up but he didn’t say a word.
“You keep saying I shouldn’t have come here because of the accident. But why not? I came here because I realized I almost lost the one person I can’t imagine life without.”
“Love has never been our problem.”
“But weren’t you the one who told me sooner or later I’d have to stop running?” She came closer, and placed her hand on his wildly beating heart. “I’m home, because my home is with you. I realize now it doesn’t matter where that is, because I’d go anywhere with you.”
He raked a hand through his hair, and made a sound between a growl and a groan. “Stop telling me things you think I want to hear.”
“I’m telling you the truth. But you don’t believe me. Do you?”
Joe didn’t answer her. His eyes grew darker and she thought she caught emotions warring inside him—like he didn’t know whether to haul her into his arms or throw her out the door. Whether to believe her or go with past performance. Like most men, Joe seemed to let logic rule the day when by all accounts logic had long ago left the building.
Dammit. She moved towards the front door.
“Where are you going?” Joe’s jawline was tight, the gaze in his eyes just shy of dangerous.
“For a walk.” She slammed the door and didn’t look back.
Down to the end of the street she went, swinging her arms. It was a good night for a walk anyway, with the late spring promise of summer in the air. Yeah, sure, like she believed that. It was going to be one long dry summer without Joe. It made sense he didn’t trust her fully yet, but for once in her life she wished someone would give her the benefit of the doubt. Just once.
She turned the corner and walked towards town. This was her MO. Leaving. Going before she got kicked out. Once she’d turned eighteen and aged out of the foster care system, the habit was formed. But afterwards, she called the shots. She left before she was asked to leave. Always.
It didn’t matter because no one ever came looking for her, begging her to come back. Once she thought it would be Joe, but even he hadn’t. He’d let her go, like he didn’t pry with too many questions about her past.
Kailey walked through town, past Gen’s bakery, Ed’s Hardware Store, the Town Market, the Curl up and Dye, and Penny’s Used Bookstore. When it felt like she’d walked miles, she noticed a familiar figure outside the Tavern, her back pressed against the front of the establishment. A lit cigarette in her hand.
“Hey,” Kailey said as she stopped in front of the bar. “Is this your third job?”
“Yeah.” Fallon’s eyes narrowed. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m out for a walk.”
Fallon walked down to the curbside. “Why’d you decide to come here?”
“I ran into the place.” Kailey pointed to the cigarette pack. “Can I have one?”
“I thought you quit.”
“I did, but I’m mad right now. Smoking mad.”
“Cute.” Fallon took one out of the packet, lit it and handed it to Kailey. “Is the wedding off?”
The cigarette froze in Kailey’s hand before it reached her lips. Fallon had heard everything. Stupid Kailey, caught in the middle of dreaming. “You heard me?”
“Sorry.” She lifted a shoulder.
“Yeah, well, it’s not happening.” Kailey took a puff. The curl of smoke went down her throat and she immediately coughed up a lung.
“Give me that,” Fallon snatched the cigarette out of Kailey’s hand. “I’m not going to corrupt you.”
Kailey was still coughing, but now she was wheezing a little bit too. How did she ever smoke those horrible things?
“Are you going to be okay or should I call nine-one-one?”
Kailey’s lungs finally caught a whiff of purifying air and she took a deep and cleansing breath.
“Anyway, it’s been nice knowing you.” She wheezed. “I’m probably going to be taking off pretty soon.”
Joe would probably kick her out tonight. She’d seen the anger in his eyes, dark gray shadows mixed in with the blue. It wouldn’t be unexpected. She’d been kicked out every time she’d ever lost her temper or spoken her mind. One family after another. She could never speak up, even when a situation was terribly unfair. So she’d learned to keep quiet.
And then came the wild teenage years, because when no one expected much from her, that’s exactly what she gave them.
“Too bad. You’re the most interesting person in this whole town.” Fallon kicked the curb.
“Thanks.” Kailey looked at the ground. She’d had something heavy on her mind since meeting Fallon. “Can I ask? How did you lose custody of your kid?”
“I was stupid. Babies are exhausting, you know? You think you can handle this tiny creature, but they have the power to drive you crazy. I took a shower about once every two weeks. My son had colic and cried all day long, and I couldn’t do anything to make it better. One day I snapped. I left the house, and left him crying in his crib. I knew my husband would be home within a few minutes, and I thought I�
�d make him see what it was like.”
“Oh, no. Did you get arrested?”
“No, but my husband reported me for child abandonment, divorced me and got full custody.” Fallon kicked the curb again, harder this time. “I was sorry the next morning, but it was too late. What if my husband hadn’t shown up when he did? He was right. I was a horrible mother.”
“Do you get to see him at all?”
“I have supervised visitation, which is probably all I deserve. But one day I’ll get shared custody. He’s a good little boy, super smart.” Fallon’s eyes lit up. “I made one mistake, and I’ve been trying to fix it ever since.”
“Good. Don’t give up.”
Somewhere along the line, Kailey’s mother must have given up. Kailey had vague memories of visits with her mother, of tears and hugs, but one day the visits had stopped altogether. When she’d asked her foster mother about ‘Mama’ she’d been told, ‘You can call me Mama now.’ Someone else said her mother had given up. She couldn’t do it anymore. Kailey should be grateful there were willing and kind people in the Foster Care system that would open up their home to her so she wouldn’t starve to death.
Still, for years Kailey had firmly believed Mama would be back for her. She never had. Maybe it was true she’d stopped fighting for Kailey. And it had been a mistake, because when you loved someone you could never give up.
For the first time in her life Kailey had to stay, no matter how difficult it might be.
“I don’t talk to anyone around here about my kid,” Fallon said. “Except maybe Scott Turlock. He doesn’t judge me. Most people do, but I figured you wouldn’t. I hope you don’t go.”
“Actually, I don’t want to go. I think I need to stay.”
“Then don’t let some guy decide if you stay or go.”
But he wasn’t some guy. He was everything.
Fallon put out her cigarette. “Think about it.”
“Okay,” Kailey said. “I will.”
“Sure you will,” Fallon said with a smirk as she glanced over Kailey’s shoulder. “See ya.”
Kailey turned, and there was Joe, standing right behind her. He’d put a grey T-shirt on and looked like maybe he’d run all the way here. Her stupid heart did the same triple beat time again because not only did he look good, all strong and sweaty and powerful, but he was here.
Starlight Hill: Complete collection 1-8 Page 60
