by D C Little
“Are you sure we wouldn’t be in the way?” Lexi asked.
“You’re both going to leave me for a week?” Laurie sighed. “What a lonely time that will be.”
“What are you talking about, being lonely?” Arland asked as he joined the conversation.
Kris noticed Butler’s immediate stiffness. “I’ve got to get packed.” He stood and turned toward his dwelling without looking back.
“Guess he’s still mad.” Arland sighed as he sat in Butler’s vacated spot.
“Of course he is. Any person being told they didn’t have the freedom to save their family would be.” Blake didn’t bother keeping the disdain out of his tone.
“You sure it's a good idea to take him with you?” Arland asked.
“Yes, especially now that Lexi and Ryan are going to be joining us.” Blake stood and turned toward Lexi. “Be sure to pack enough for more than a week. I don’t know how those cows will react to being herded, and we may have to chase them across the forest.”
“Okay, if you’re sure.” Lexi looked between him and Arland.
“It’s a settled matter. We leave close to dawn.” He turned back toward Arland and nodded at Laurie. “Goodnight.”
“Night,” Laurie said.
“A word?” Arland asked Blake as he turned.
Blake didn’t turn around but nodded stiffly.
Kris held her breath. She knew that Blake did not want to be alone with Arland right now. “We should go, too. There is still a lot to prepare.” She picked up Mercy and nodded at Tucker.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Ryan! We’re going to be like cowboys!”
“Yeehaw!” Ryan said with a grin that melted Kris’s heart. This journey would be good for the boys.
She turned toward Lexi. “I’m happy you’re coming.”
“Me, too. Maybe you can teach me more of the plants as we go.”
“Laurie has taught me quite a few. I think we should all learn from her when we get back.”
“I like that idea,” Laurie said. She gave her a long hug. “I will miss you, my friend. Please be safe and return to us.”
“That’s the plan,” Kris said with an extra wide smile, trying to cover the doubt that plagued her.
She wrapped her arm around Tucker and resituated Mercy on her hip. With one last look back at her friends, she walked to meet Blake who talked with Arland a few yards off. Hopefully she was soon enough. Blake’s temper rode close to the surface right now.
She wished that this all worked out somehow, someway, so that everyone got what they needed, Butler being able to return to his family, and them being able to return to the community.
~15~
Blake set an easy pace. Not only did he not want to stress out his family or Lexi and Ryan, but he selfishly wanted more time with Butler. They hadn’t been close in their previous life in the armed forces because he was Butler's superior, but these last few months they had bonded more than he thought possible.
“Will you come back?” Blake asked as they scouted ahead of the group.
Butler glanced back at the empty trail behind them and shrugged. “I really don’t know. Would we even be welcome? And if we were, would I want to come back to a place that tried to keep me prisoner?”
“All good questions.”
“Promise me something?”
Blake stopped and looked at him, feeling the intensity in the man.
“Watch over Lexi.”
“Of course,” Blake said with a nod and continued walking.
“If I wasn’t married...but I am.” Butler blew out a breath. “I have been watching over her for a couple years now. I—”
“I get it, man. She’ll be under my watch. If we leave, I’ll be sure to ask her along.”
“Are you planning on leaving?” Butler grabbed his arm to stop him again.
“Things are getting weird. It’s an option that I have to keep open.”
“I don't want to mess things up for you, Chantry. You get me? If helping me makes it so you can’t go back...so your family won’t have the protection and community, even if they are a bit overbearing, I wouldn't be able to live with myself.”
“If that happens because of this, then I’d rather not be in the midst of them.” Blake turned at the sound of running steps.
“Dad, we caught up with you!” Tucker came running to him, his backpack swaying with each step.
They had not loaded the pack down, but it was still heavy for him, and the fact that they had already hiked a good five miles and the boy had enough strength to run amazed him.
“Everything alright back there?” He looked past Tucker and Ryan.
“Little Sister needs a change. Mom didn’t want you to get too far ahead.”
“Good work catching us.” He turned to Ryan. “How are you holding up?”
“I like this better than being cooped up in camp all day, that’s for sure.”
“Me, too!” Tucker agreed. “Why do you look so sad, Mr. Butler?”
Blake shot a look to his friend who instantly put a smile on his face. “Not sad, buddy, just thinking.”
“You miss your son? Don’t worry, you’ll get to see him again.” Tucker glanced at Blake wide-eyed and then took off down the trail. “I’m going to see if mom needs my help.”
“Your kid is a little jumpy, huh?” Ryan asked, planting his feet.
Blake smiled at Ryan. “Yeah, he can be.”
He snuck a glance at Butler who watched down the trail where Tucker disappeared. “I’m not sure jumpy is the right word.”
The fact that Ryan stayed eased the stress of having to answer the questions he knew Butler had about his son. As much as he trusted his friend, he had agreed telling no one about Tucker’s gift would be the safest approach. Even the best of friends could be tortured for information.
Something clicked inside of him. That’s what Arland feared. He purposely avoided Butler’s eyes. He needed to process this in the new light. It wouldn't change his decision to help Butler leave, but it might change his method.
They were a bit more than halfway to the cattle camp where John and Dillion watched the cows when he called them to a halt for the day. He wanted one more night without others.
They needed to fine-tune their plan. It had to happen tomorrow or the next day, before they started herding the cattle back to camp.
Tucker’s head nodded against Blake’s shoulder as they sat around the campfire after dinner. The kid did great today. He couldn't have been more proud. He and Ryan had shot dinner along their way so they had fresh rabbit over the fire.
Ryan’s head bobbed as well.
“We should get you to bed,” Lexi said, nudging the dark-eyed boy next to her.
“I’m okay,” Ryan murmured.
“You worked hard today, and tomorrow is another long day. Come on, let’s go.”
Once the women and children were all settled in their tents, Blake told them he and Butler were doing a perimeter check. He led his friend out of ear shot.
“We’ll get to the camp tomorrow.” Blake watched Butler.
Butler nodded. “It’s been real, man.”
“Surreal if you ask me, but good to have you by my side again.”
“Think we’ll see each other again?”
“Kris says, there’s always hope. I would like to think so.” There were so many he knew he would never see again. His dad for one. He probably hadn’t made it this long. Yet, who knew. Life had a crazy way of turning on a man.
“Discreetly say your goodbye to Lexi tomorrow.”
“I will, though something tells me she already knows. I’m glad she has the boy now. He will keep her going.”
“It’s a good match,” Blake said, stifling a yawn.
The night sounds comforted him. He found them much more relaxing than the coughs, murmurs, and rustling of camp. What else was there to say? Sure, women could talk for hours, but he and Butler were men of action, not words.
“It’s been a ple
asure, man,” Blake finally said, resting a hand on Butler’s shoulder before walking back to camp.
“Yes, sir,” Butler said, his voice low,
Blake slipped into the tent and sighed as he cuddled up next to his wife. This was where he belonged. No matter what else happened, if he had them, he would make life be as good as possible.
****
Kris listened closely as her husband came back into camp. She wondered if Butler had left tonight, but as Blake slipped in, she heard the zipper of the other tent. A sigh of relief filled her. She wanted the chance to properly thank Butler for saving her husband’s life and watching over them for the last several months.
At first, it had been strange having him around almost like her personal bodyguard. Now, thinking of him being gone made a part of her heart feel empty. She hoped he found his family, and she hoped he made it back with them.
Blake snuggled up against her. Feeling his warm body wrap around her eased her anxiety. She slipped into sleep in the safety of his embrace, feeling grateful he had asked them to come.
The next morning she woke as Blake slipped out of the tent. Tucker stirred beside her, getting a quick cuddle as he woke up fully. Love filled her as her growing boy took a few moments to connect with her.
How much longer would he still do this? If she thought about it too much she might start crying, so she wrapped her arms around him, breathed in his scent, and enjoyed the moment. When he did decide he no longer needed these morning snuggles, she would at least have these memories to cling to.
Outside she heard Blake and Butler’s deep voices, murmuring over the beautiful bird song. Spring. Excitement filled her. She loved everything about this season: the green shoots bursting from the ground and trees, the birds, the squirrels chasing each other, the days becoming longer and warmer, the fresh scent of the air, and the feeling of starting fresh.
Were they starting fresh?
Tucker squirmed in her arms, freeing himself to pull on his outside clothes and tug on his boots. Watching him, she wondered how he had become so independent, so grownup.
Maybe she didn’t want to start things too fresh.
“I heard Ryan’s voice,” Tucker said, keeping his voice quiet.
She loved the fact that he always thought about his sister. Even with the care he took, his low whisper had stirred her awake.
“Sorry, Mom.”
“It’s okay, Sweetie. It’s time for her to wake up anyway. We have another long day of hiking.”
“I’m ready for it,” Tucker said as he crawled over her to the zippered door.
“You sound like it, too. Be sure to ask Dad how you can help.”
“Of course,” Tucker said, shooting her a grin before crawling out of the tent.
The morning went smoothly, almost too smoothly. Kris kept wondering what they had forgotten.
“You okay?” Lexi waited for her at the bend in the trail.
Even without a pack, she was still the slowest one of the group. She would have to get into better shape.
“Yeah. I can’t shake the feeling like I forgot something.”
“I think that happens as our kids get bigger. When they are running off on their own and not constantly pulling on our sleeves, it does feel like we’ve forgotten something.”
Kris bit her lip. She wanted to ask about her son, the one she lost, but she worried it would shut her down. Finally, she took in a deep breath and the question burst forth from her.
“Tell me about him,” she said, hoping that it didn’t push her friend away.
Lexi shot a glance up at the boys a couple hundred feet ahead. They were talking low enough Kris couldn’t make out their words. The men, of course, were scouting further up the trail. The fact that he hadn’t told Butler to watch the rear told her he wanted the extra time with his friend before he left them.
“Sawyer. His name was Sawyer. He looked so much like Ryan, it’s almost eerie. He was quiet and pensive, and had this certain way of looking at me with his head cocked to one side, his long hair brushing across his forehead. I could never say no to that smile.”
“He sounds wonderful,” Kris said, tears building, not only at hearing of Sawyer, but for the fact that Lexi trusted her enough to open up.
“It’s still so hard. I see him in every baby, every child, in every moment...” Lexi coughed and wiped at her eyes. “I better go catch up with the boys. I don’t want them to inadvertently step into any poison oak.”
Kris didn’t mention to her that poison oak didn't grow as high up as they were. Instead, she grabbed her hand before she fled. “Thank you for sharing him with me.”
Lexi nodded before slipping her hand out of the grasp and continuing on to the boys.
Kris’s throat swelled. The thought of losing one of her children overwhelmed her to a debilitating degree. How Lexi still functioned was a miracle indeed.
Kris was grateful Lexi would have someone to keep her distracted and perhaps even love. She had worried about how Butler leaving would affect her husband, and their whole family, but thinking of Lexi made her almost lose her breath. How would she cope?
Seeing Lexi with Ryan gave her hope. Maybe they were led together to help each other’s hearts heal.
~16~
As they descended into the valley where Blake had left the cattle and the men watching them, he felt his agitation growing. The idea of Butler being tortured for information on their camp’s location twisted his stomach into knots. As much as he wanted Butler to stay, he wouldn’t let his selfish wishes or fears stand in the way of his friend reaching his family.
That didn’t make the actual act of saying goodbye any easier.
He had slowed the pace so they wouldn’t reach the cattle camp until dusk. He had even thought of setting up camp early, before they made it there, to get one more night without the other men.
They were too close now. Their fire and sounds would carry to John and Dillon. The fear that would cause them wouldn’t be fair. He sighed as he caught his first glimpse of the camp.
“There it is,” Blake said in resignation.
“So it is.” Butler nodded. “Tonight or tomorrow?”
“While we group up the cattle. It’s the most chaotic time.”
Butler slapped his back. “One more night, brother.”
“One more.” The words sent a chill down Blake’s back. At that moment he almost wished he had Tucker’s gift. Almost.
That night went by too fast. John and Dillon didn’t give them a moment alone. They had been starved of the company of others for almost a week and obviously needed extra attention.
Blake reluctantly said goodnight when it was obvious they weren’t going to bed any time soon. Yet, he lay there stiff as a board next to his slumbering family until he heard Butler turn in as well. John and Dillon stayed up, conversing by the fire.
From the tent that Butler shared with Lexi and Ryan, he heard low murmurs long into the night until, at last, sleep claimed Blake.
He knew it had to be the next day, and the earlier the better for Butler. He wouldn’t make the city by nightfall, but it would give him the best chance to cover the most ground possible. For the last couple of days he had mentally gone over the fastest route to get Butler to the city where his family was.
Though the roads would be easiest to follow, they would be the most likely place to meet others, especially the coalition he needed to avoid. That morning while the others still slept, he snuck out to take a look from the view point near camp.
He had fought with himself about waking Butler to come with him, but that might come back to bite him. So he tracked the hill alone and greeted the pink rays of the sunrise as they shone on the path down into what he considered right now as the gates to hell.
The thought of his friend’s family in that chaos set his chest on fire. If he didn’t have his own family to think of, he would have gone with Butler. Now the guy had to go with no one to watch his back.
Blake sighed as he map
ped out landmarks in his head. He almost wished for a map, but having the location of New Forest Glen on paper sent shivers of fear shaking his hands. No, Butler would have to memorize this mental map and store it away where no one else could access it.
Voices from the camp reached him. Reluctantly, he pulled himself away from his vantage point, recording the path clearly in his mind, and slumped off to the camp.
Kris and Tucker greeted him with warm hugs, and Butler nodded, dark circles under his eyes. He hadn’t slept well either. Tomorrow morning his friend’s life would be much different, a whole new kind of survival, and one that Blake knew all too well. One he didn’t plan on knowing again.
His stomach twisted as he issued the orders of the day and then broke down camp. The sound of the fire sizzling out had a sense of permanence, and it sat uneasily with him.
“We need to scout one last time and push the herd up toward the ravine where it will be easiest to get them up onto the ridge.” Blake looked around at everyone.
He should stay with his family, protect them from the stampeding herd, but he had to see Butler off.
“John and Dillon, you are going to scout east. Butler and I will scout west. Kris, you take Lexi and the boys to that high knoll right there. Have blankets out and wave them to keep the cows from going that way and toward the ravine.”
The knoll should keep them safe, and by the time the cows reached them, he should have returned.
Before they parted ways, Kris bent his forehead down to hers. She didn’t say anything, nor should she have, but her meaning spoke loud and clear. She knew what was about to go down, and she offered him support.
“We always return to each other,” she whispered, and he whispered it back.
Tucker ran up and squeezed between them. “We always return to each other, but aren’t you going to be right over there?”
“Yes, we will, and I’ll be back before you know it.”
“Then why...” he trailed off looking from his mom to his dad. With a shrug, he kissed them both and ran off to talk with Ryan.
Blake kissed the tip of Mercy’s nose. She reached out and grasped his beard, babbling like she had the secrets of the world to share with him. He unwrapped her hand and stepped away.
