by Angel Nyx
As Lily filled him in on Casey’s past, and how she came to be a mother of an eight-year-old at such a young age, Nikolai felt rage fill him. The intensity of it was almost overwhelming and he had to take several deep breaths to calm his tiger. “Some ublyudok dared to force himself on her when she was just a child?” He saw red and he felt his skin shift for a moment as his control on his tiger slipped. “I will kill him. I will hunt him and I will kill him.” He didn’t even notice the look Lily and Echo shared.
“Please tell me you saw that too,” Lily said under her breath.
“If you’re talking about his skin rippling as if he was getting ready to shift, yeah. I saw it,” Echo replied. “Nikolai, you need to calm down.”
He stalked back and forth in front of them and his skin rippled again as another growl trickled from between his lips. It was as if he didn’t even hear them.
“Shit. Lily, go get Declan. Now.” An enraged tiger is a frightening thing to behold. Nikolai’s roar ripped through the weight room and he prowled the enclosed space.
“ENOUGH!”
The command in that single word echoed in the room and Nikolai froze where he was.
His head lifted and he shook it before he slowly shifted back to human form. Once he was thinking clearly again, he saw Declan, Lily, and Echo all watching him. When he realized he’d not only lost control, but had clearly done something to warrant Echo getting physical with him, he realized just how deeply Lily’s words had affected him. In that moment the human part of him had disappeared and his tiger was in complete and utter control. “I did not hurt you, did I, sestra?” Echo wasn’t his sister by blood, but she was family. If he hurt her, he would not forgive himself.
“Of course not. That’s the reason I have this,” Echo said and raised the bar. “When I realized your human half was pretty much gone, I knew your tiger was going to go ballistic, so I made sure you didn’t get out of here.”
Nikolai ran a hand over his face. “Spasibo. Thank you. I am sorry I lost control.”
“Someone want to explain what the fuck just happened?”
Before Nikolai could speak up, Lily filled Declan in. “It’s kind of a long story but I’ll make it short. Nikolai and Casey are mates, even if he is a bastard and denying their bond, and he just found out how she got pregnant with Jacob at fourteen.”
Nikolai turned to his Alpha. “Forgive me for losing control, Alpha.”
“There’s nothing to forgive, Nikolai. You just found out that the woman who is your mate went through a traumatic experience. Combined with what I’m betting is a shit ton of confusion over the fact she’s not a tiger, your control snapped briefly. As long as no one’s hurt, no big deal. But Nikolai? Don’t let it happen again.”
“I won’t.” He inclined his head at Declan, then turned his attention to Lily. “My apologies to you, as well. I am sure my reaction was…troubling.”
“You could say that. Especially since you’ve refused the mate bond. You hurt her, Nikolai. A lot. Don’t expect me to dismiss it like it doesn’t matter. You better figure out how to fucking come to terms with the fact your mate is a wolf and get over this elitist idea that she’s not good enough for you because of it, or I might have to hurt you.”
After Declan, Lily, and Echo left, Nikolai stood in the center of the weight room, processing everything that had happened in the last twenty minutes or so. He’d been struggling with his tiger ever since he’d stalked off earlier after meeting Casey. Learning that she’d been sexually assaulted, and her rapist was allowed to go on with his life, as though it didn’t happen, when hers was shattered by him, had caused such an intense rage inside he’d had to let his tiger out.
Now he was torn. He still wanted to deny they were mates, but not for the reason Lily believed. It wasn’t because he thought a wolf wasn’t good enough for him. They were different species; it just didn’t seem like it was possible. Given his tiger’s reaction, however, he knew that however improbable it seemed, the wolf was his mate. Now he just had to figure out how to accept it and repair the damage his refusal had caused.
Chapter Four
Casey
Over dinner, Casey contributed to the conversation and plastered on a fake smile to appease her friend and keep her son from worrying about her. She had a feeling Lily knew it was fake, and that feeling was confirmed after Jacob was in bed.
“Now that the squirt is out of earshot, how are you doing?” Before Casey could respond Lily added, “Don’t tell me you’re fine, either, because I know that’s bullshit.”
Casey shrugged. “It doesn’t matter, Lily. I’ve survived worse, I can survive this.” If she repeated that enough times she might begin to believe it. If she gave herself the chance to think about Nikolai, for even a moment, it felt like her heart was breaking all over again.
“Like hell it doesn’t matter.” Lily went to her and hugged her. “I know you have, but you shouldn’t have to feel that way now. He’s just being a bastard. If you want me to, I’ll go shank him for you.”
Casey blinked and then laughed. “You did not just say ‘shank’.” Way back when, when they were both teenagers and she was dealing with the aftermath of her assault, she and Lily had watched several episodes of Prison Break. “What is this, an episode of Prison Break?”
Lily grinned. “I got you to laugh, didn’t I? Mission accomplished.”
Casey shook her head. “Thanks, I guess I needed that. I’m going to go curl up with a book for a bit before bed. Night.”
“Goodnight, Case.”
Casey read until she heard Lily and Declan go to bed, then she closed the book and let her emotions flow once again. By the time the tears stopped she fell into an exhausted sleep. It was a feeling that was all to familiar to her and one she’d hoped to never feel again.
Saturday morning, Casey awoke to her son carrying a tray into her room with Lily’s help.
“Good morning, munchkin. What’s all this?”
“Aunt Lily helped me make you a birthday breakfast, Mama.”
The smile her son gave her warmed her heart and she smiled back. “Oh, wow, thank you.” She scooted up in bed and once the tray was across her lap she patted the bed for him to join her.
“Happy birthday, Mama.”
“Thank you, sweetheart.” Casey kissed the top of his head and smiled faintly at Lily. “Thank you for helping him.”
“You don’t need to thank me, Casey. I was happy to help Jacob fix you breakfast in bed for your birthday. But you’re welcome. Enjoy,” Lily replied and left.
When she removed the lid from the plate, Casey smiled. There were pancakes, sausage links, scrambled eggs, and fresh berries. “Now I know what the bowl of cream is for,” she said before dipping a berry into it and popping it in her mouth. “Did you eat yet, kiddo?”
“Uh huh. Aunt Lily made me pancakes while we got your breakfast done.”
“I should have known.” Casey laughed softly and ruffled his hair. “Are you happy here in New Orleans?”
“Uh huh. Aren’t you, Mama?”
“Of course I am.” As long as she ignored the way it hurt that Nikolai had shunned her. She dug into her breakfast with gusto but she still shared some of the berries with her son.
After finishing her breakfast, Casey crawled out of bed and carried the plate to the kitchen where Lily was seated at the table with a cup of coffee.
“How was your breakfast?”
“It was good. Thank you for that.”
“No problem. That is just the beginning of your day. You have an appointment at the spa for a massage and a mani-pedi this afternoon.”
Casey just stared at Lily for a moment. “I have never had a mani-pedi before. Or a massage, for that matter.”
“There’s a first time for everything.” Lily grinned at her. “You’ve devoted most of the last decade to raising your son and haven’t taken any time for yourself. This is my birthday present to you.”
Casey had to blink several times to clear th
e tears that suddenly sprang to her eyes. Sure, her parents tried to do nice things for her on her birthday, but that usually amounted to taking Jacob for a few hours and a birthday cake. “Thank you, Lily, so much.” When Lily hugged her she let out a little sob that was followed by a soft laugh. “I don’t know why I’m so emotional.”
“Oh, I don’t know, maybe because you have a lot going on right now?”
Casey almost stuck her tongue out at the way Lily rolled her eyes at her. “Fine. Maybe I have a reason to be emotional. That doesn’t mean I have to be happy about it.”
“Whatever. Go get in the shower. You have a day of pampering ahead of you.”
This time it was Casey who rolled her eyes but she went and did what Lily said. She showered, dressed, and then she was off to the spa. It felt a little strange, being pampered when she’d never had that before, but she was determined to enjoy it.
Returning home from her visit to the spa, Casey stepped into her bedroom and stopped just inside the door. “Is this really necessary?” She stood there, staring at the silver dress that lay across her bed. It shimmered in the light and she knew it would do so every time she moved.
“Yes, it’s really necessary. It’s a party, Casey. You have to dress up, at least a little,” Lily countered.
Casey heaved a resigned sigh, approached the bed, and reached for the dress. “Fine, but I’m doing this under protest.”
“Duly noted.”
Several minutes later, Casey returned with the dress on and the clothes she’d been wearing in her arms. Those she dumped into the clothes hamper before she turned to face Lily. “Well?”
“Perfect. I knew the dress was going to be a perfect fit. You look gorgeous.”
Casey snorted at that. “Hardly. I’m okay, but gorgeous?”
“Casey Ann Owens, have you looked in the mirror lately? Girl, you’re gorgeous. Do you know how many women would kill for your fair skin, blue eyes, and damn near platinum-blond hair? Women pay out the ass for that hair color and damage their hair in the process.”
Casey let Lily guide her over to where she was in front of the full-length mirror that hung on the closet door and tried to look at herself through a different lens. All she ever really saw was the tiredness on her face and the loneliness in her eyes. With effort, she cleared her mind of the negative thoughts and really looked at herself. She was slender with a gentle swell to her hips, just enough to give her a bit of an hourglass figure. Her breasts were firm – not too big, but not too small either. Her blond hair hung in slight waves to almost the middle of her back. She stared as if really seeing herself for the first time. “Wow. Okay, so, maybe you have a point,” she finally admitted.
“You are gorgeous, Casey. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel otherwise.”
“Thanks, Lily. I guess I just never really saw myself that way, you know?”
“I know. I think it’s a failing a lot of women have. We don’t see ourselves the same way others do. All right, I’m going to finish getting ready and we’ll be on our way.”
Half an hour later they were pulling into Pack headquarters. Casey’s eyes widened at the number of vehicles that were parked there. “What in the world did you do, Lily?”
“I told you it was a party. We’re celebrating your birthday and what better way to do it than to get everyone together in one big place?”
“Are you surprised, Mama?”
The question coming from her son, who was still seated in the back of Lily’s car, made her smile. “I am, kiddo. Thank you, Lily.”
“Don’t just thank me. The squirt helped. He told me you never had birthday parties in Slatefall.”
Casey ducked her head a little so she wasn’t looking Lily in the eye. “Yeah. Well, it just wasn’t that big of a deal. I had other stuff to worry about.”
“That won’t be happening here. Birthdays should be celebrated. Come on, everyone’s waiting for us.”
Once they were out of the car Casey pulled her son into a hug. “Thanks, pumpkin, for helping Lily plan this.” She didn’t really like parties—she was too much of an introvert, but she was grateful to her friend, and her son, for wanting to do something nice for her.
“You’re welcome, Mama.”
Casey kept her arm around her son’s shoulders as they followed Lily into the warehouse that now housed the headquarters for both Declan’s security company and the Pack. The entire Pack was there, as far as she could tell, as well as quite a few members of the Black Water Pard, including Emelise and Caine. Emelise was really starting to look miserable with her pregnancy.
“Happy birthday, Casey.”
“Thanks, Emelise. You look like you’re ready to pop any day now.” She returned the quick hug Emelise gave her.
“I feel like it,” Emelise replied with a soft laugh. “Sabine doesn’t think I’ll be going full-term but even if I had the twins today, they would more than likely be okay because I’m far enough along now. Some days I just want it over with, you know?”
“Oh, I know exactly what you mean. I was so miserable there at the end of my pregnancy with Jacob. I thought it was never going to end.”
“See, I knew you’d get it. Lily just shakes her head at me but she’s never been through this. The bitch.”
Casey laughed at the grin that Emelise gave Lily. “You know you’re good friends when you can call each other a bitch and not cause hurt feelings.”
“Exactly!” Lily and Emelise said in unison.
“You just wait until it’s your turn, Lily. You’ll totally understand the misery then,” Casey said with a quiet laugh. “Okay, I should go mingle a little, I suppose.” Her eyes scanned the building as she moved away from the other women. She wouldn’t admit, not out loud anyway, that she was hoping to see Nikolai among the party guests.
Nikolai
He’d seriously considered ignoring the party that he knew was being thrown for Casey’s birthday. He still wasn’t sure how to wrap his mind around the fact his mate was a wolf. In the end, however, he made his way into the main part of the warehouse. The entire Pack was there to help her celebrate, and it seemed Lily had invited the Pard, as well, since many members of the Black Water Pard were in attendance, too.
His eyes scanned the partygoers in search of one particular person. When he found her his breath caught. She was ethereal. The silver dress, that hugged her frame and shimmered in the light when she moved, made him want to drag her off to a corner just so he could run his hands over it to see if it was as smooth as it looked. If she was wearing makeup, it was so understated that he couldn’t tell she had any on and her hair hung freely down her back. Most women would have put their hair up in some sort of uncomfortable hairdo just to show off the dress, but not his Casey. Wait, his Casey? When had he started thinking about her that way? When their eyes locked he saw the longing in them before she quickly looked away.
“Go talk to her.” Nikolai turned to find Echo standing next to him. Before he could respond she continued.
“You’re going to have to own up to your asshole behavior eventually. Or are you going to continue letting her think you’re a bigot?”
“I do not even know what to say to her.”
“Sorry I was an asshole is a good starting point.”
He snorted. “That is more your way than mine. I do need to speak with her, but not tonight. Tonight is special; I will not interfere with that.”
“Jesus. You’re too fucking stubborn for your own good, Nikolai. So you’d rather let her continue to think you’re a bigot who wants nothing to do with her because she’s a wolf instead of a tiger. Yeah, that’s going to win her over. But, you know what? Suit yourself. Please tell me you at least got her a gift?”
Nikolai shook his head. “Nyet. I did not because I did not know about this party until late last night.”
“Don’t give me that bullshit,” Echo growled. “You could have gone out first thing this morning and gotten her something. Lucky for you, Sasha and I planned ahead fo
r your stupidity. Here.”
He cocked a brow at the small, wrapped package Echo took out of one of the pockets, on the bag she had slung over her shoulder. “What is it?”
“You’ll have to wait to find out. When she thanks you, don’t act surprised to see what’s in the box because that will tell her it’s really not from you.”
Nikolai watched her walk off before he turned his attention once again to Casey. Even across the wide expanse of the main room he could tell the smile she had on her face was fake. He felt…guilt over that. It was his fault she wasn’t genuinely happy at her own birthday party.
He hovered on the edges of things throughout the evening. Each time his eyes found Casey he had to resist the urge to go to her. Watching her interacting with members of the Pack and Pard, he was enthralled by her grace. It seemed no matter how she might be feeling, every time someone spoke to her, the smile she gave them was genuine. And when one of the few children there approached her? She became radiant. It was obvious she adored children. That realization caused a pang of longing in him that he tried to push aside. Still, it persisted. He could envision how lovely she would be with her belly swollen with his child and her skin glowing from pregnancy. Only, that couldn’t happen. Could it? They were different species; how would it be possible? He pushed the troubling thought away with effort and focused on the here and now.
