Yet he looked far from pleased, his mouth tight with anger. “Whatever you have to do can wait.” He pulled her to his phaeton without giving her time to remonstrate.
Julia took her place with ill grace. “I don’t see why you couldn’t just wait until I got home.”
Alec climbed in beside her and tossed a coin to the boy who’d held the horses. “Because I have no wish for our confounded servants to barge in on us while we settle this once and for all.”
“Settle what?”
His gaze rested on her with a decided glint. “Us.”
Effectively robbed of speech, Julia could only nod. She waited for him to say more, but he seemed absorbed in guiding the phaeton through the crowded streets.
Finally, after an eternity of stomach-twisting silence, he said, “Julia, about last night—I don’t want you to think that…you shouldn’t….” He stopped, face flushed, his eye pinned straight ahead. “What I mean to say is—”
“Pray do not.” It was all too clear what he meant to say. Mouth aquiver, she sniffed miserably. “I understand perfectly.”
“No, you don’t,” he said with a grim glance. “I have never played fast and loose with a virgin, and I am not about to start now.”
Fast and loose? They had spent a night of remarkable passion and he described it as “fast and loose?” Her eyes showed an annoying tendency to water in the bright sunshine. “There’s no need for you to worry. Last night was all my fault.”
He turned to regard her, a puzzled crease between his brows. “Your fault?”
“Yes, but you needn’t fear. I don’t expect a declaration or anything.” Not that she’d refuse one, should he offer.
His face held a distinctive sickly pallor. “A declaration?”
Her heart sank into her stomach like a lead weight, but Julia managed an airy shrug. “Of course. It was just a brief interlude and means nothing to either of us.”
His pallor receded behind an angry flush. Staring straight ahead, he asked in a clipped voice, “A brief interlude. Is that how you see it?”
“Oh, yes. Very brief and very…well, an interlude.” This was all working out perfectly, Julia decided, trying to buoy her flagging spirits. She was effectively alleviating his distress while maintaining what little pride she had left. Yet she couldn’t seem to stop her eyes from leaking large, slow drops. She fumbled in her reticule for her handkerchief.
Alec stared straight ahead, too uninterested to notice her plight. He turned the phaeton onto a wide, pleasant street and left the stench and poverty of Whitechapel behind. “Julia, I think you miss the importance of what has occurred. You and I…there is a strong physical attraction between us.”
“Physical?” Her voice quavered piteously, but he didn’t notice.
Color touched his neck and face. “Our bodies are made for one another.”
How could he take the incredible beauty of their night of passion and reduce it to a physical explanation? He reminded her of Mr. Tumbolton, trying to fix a mathematical equation to the soul. Some things simply could not be measured.
Pride dried her eyes. “I’m not sure I know what you are talking about, Alec.”
His simmering glance sliced through her heart as surely as a sword. “You felt it, too, Julia. I know you did.”
“I felt a lot of things,” she said, stung. “I’m just not sure I wouldn’t have felt them with someone else.”
Alec abruptly pulled the horses to, oblivious to the fact that they were in the middle of a crowded thoroughfare. “What?”
Her cheeks burned with her own audacity, but she resolutely plowed on. “I haven’t had much experience. For all I know, I might feel that way with….” She struggled to find a name and couldn’t think of a one. Just when she needed it most, her brain had fallen into a deep slumber and refused to be roused. More than likely it was reeling in shock at hearing her say such outrageous things, but she didn’t care.
“With whom?” His eyes gleamed beneath the brim of his hat. From behind them, a journeyman began to yell obscenities.
Julia struggled to think of a name. “Oh, I don’t know. Nick or someone.”
Alec appeared thunderstruck. “Nick?”
“Or someone.” Damn it, why couldn’t she think of a dashing suitor—someone who was as noble as he was handsome? Surely there must be dozens of them littering the ton, yet she could think only of the man beside her.
He stared at her for a long minute before turning back to the horses and urging them to a trot. His movements appeared mechanical, as if he were locked in some sort of inner struggle and scarcely knew what he was doing. “How long have you known Nick?”
It had been Julia’s first season as a chaperone…the first time she had seen Alec. A tremulous smile lifted her mouth. When she caught Alec’s stare, she forced herself to swallow. “Four years ago. A little more, to be exact. Why?”
His face tightened, white lines appearing at the side of his mouth. “I will remind you that you are married to me, madam.”
“I’m not likely to forget it.”
“Good.” With a distinctly unfriendly glance, he asked, “How did the Society take your news this morning?”
The change in topic made her blink. “I think we have settled most of the details,” she replied cautiously.
“Then it is done.” His hands tightened about the reins. “I know they will miss you as much as you will miss them, but it is for the best.”
She paused in returning her handkerchief to her reticule. “I beg your pardon?”
He shot her a short glance that confirmed her worse suspicions. “I said—”
“I know what you said; I just don’t understand it. What do you mean, they will miss me?”
Confusion flickered in his gray eyes before he frowned. “Do you remember last night, madam?”
“Of course I remember it. You came to my room and we—”
“No,” he interrupted, slightly red. “Not that. I meant the dinner party where the beauteous Desiree made such an impression. You agreed that you would give up the Society if she caused a scandal.”
It should not have bothered her that Alec thought Desiree beautiful, because the girl was. Yet it hurt to hear him say it aloud. Especially when he had never said such a thing to her. Clearing her throat, Julia said, “But she did not cause a scandal.”
“Julia, half the men around that table knew who and what that woman was!”
She regarded him with lifted brows. “Did they say anything when they retired to the library for port?”
“No. They stood in miserable silence, afraid to look each other in the eye.”
“Well, there. They will be too embarrassed to say anything. You see, nothing will come from it. From now on, I will just keep Desiree belowstairs when there is company.”
“It will not be so easy as that.”
“Wait and see.”
He shook his head. “I am through discussing this. You will cease your association with the Society and have nothing more to do with this ridiculous servant referral business.”
“Nonsense. We are all set to launch it next week.”
“Damn it! You have seen what happens when you try to pass off one of your women from the Society as a maid. It will not work.”
“I would hardly consider Desiree a good example. The women from the Society are from Whitechapel, and none of your acquaintances are likely to know them.”
“And if someone does?”
“They will dismiss it as an unlikely coincidence and never again think of it. Few people are as memorable as Desiree.”
Alec pulled the phaeton to a halt in front of Hunterston House. “You will find someone else to sponsor this project.” He spoke the words slowly, as though using all his strength to contain his anger. “I won’t allow you to be involved.”
Julia’s heart pounded in her dry throat. “You cannot stop me.”
“You would disobey me?”
She thought of the hopeless eyes of the wo
men of Whitechapel and steeled herself. “Yes.”
Alec stared at her, his breath rapid, his mouth carved into an implacable line. “Very well, madam. Since you are so determined to pursue this path of ruin, then I need no longer concern myself with offending your delicate sensibilities—or anyone else’s, for that matter.”
“What do you mean?”
“From now on, I will drink, gamble, and do as I please.” His mouth curved in a cool smile. “I may even take a mistress.”
“But the executors—”
“Will not care, so long as I am discreet. Despite their age, they are men of the world and know how things are done.” His silver gaze raked across her. “No one will even lift a brow.”
He was right. She had imposed those rules herself, hoping to keep him from the corruptive influences of the gaming hells he normally attended. Jaw clenched against the telltale quiver of her chin, Julia gathered her skirts and clambered down from the phaeton. “Very well, do as you must. But heed me well: no brandy-soaked rake will ever be welcome in my bed. I hope you thoroughly enjoyed last night. It was your last. I want nothing more to do with you.”
He regarded her for a long moment, his gaze lightly skimming her face, her mouth, lingering on the curve of her body as intimately as a touch. “We shall see about that.” With a tip of his hat, he drove off.
Had she found a rock, she would have thrown it. As it was, she had to be content with kicking the wrought-iron gate as hard as she dared. Limping up the sidewalk, she was appalled to see Mrs. Winston, Burroughs, Chilton, and a very wide-eyed Desiree scurrying from sight.
Wonderful, Julia thought. Just wonderful. Sniffing, she made her way through the gauntlet of servantly concern to the safety of her own bedchamber, where she indulged herself thoroughly in a spate of angry tears.
Chapter 24
“Come away from the window,” Maddie ordered. “It is rude to scowl at people you don’t even know.”
Sighing heavily, Julia turned to plop onto Lady Birlington’s settee with an unladylike bounce. This last week had stretched her nerves until she felt like one of the ragged pieces of twine Muck always seemed to have tucked in his pockets.
True to his word, Alec had returned to his old ways with a vengeance. Julia was weary from lying awake, listening for the sound of the front door, though she might have spared herself the trouble. He came home with the dawn, singing at the top of his lungs to make sure she knew he was belligerently and faithfully breaking every one of her rules.
Her hands itched to box his ears until they were red and stinging.
More disturbing was his attitude toward her. He still escorted her to every function as if nothing were amiss. And though he hadn’t made one move to visit her room, he had begun a steady assault on her defenses, using every excuse possible to touch her.
If they rode in the carriage, his thigh pressed against hers in a most disturbing manner. If they danced, he held her far too close, taking delight in her attempts to put some space between them. Every day, his hands lingered, and his warm breath sent spirals of heat against her neck, her shoulder.
But then, like the fairy tale of old, he would disappear as soon as he’d escorted her home. Her real agony began as she lay awake and imagined him laughing and nuzzling some beautiful courtesan who could contort in all manner of lurid positions and was only too happy to do so for such a heart-wrenchingly handsome man.
“You look red, gel. Perhaps we shouldn’t go this evening.”
“Oh, no. I’m fine.”
“Nonsense. Besides, it wouldn’t hurt to stay home one night; we’ve been gadding about like a pair of geese for a month now,” Maddie said with evident satisfaction.
It was true. They had been inundated with invitations. Julia had been astounded at the number that had come her way. As she’d predicted, the episode with Desiree had had remarkably few repercussions—not one of their dinner guests had wished to admit he was conversant with a common actress. When Julia had pointed out that fact to Alec, and that he had perhaps been a bit hasty in his recriminations, he had merely regarded her with a shuttered gaze and shrugged.
Julia picked up a novel from the stack on the table and leafed through it, stopping to read all the heroic passages. Why couldn’t Alec be more like the men in these books, men who valiantly pursued the women they loved and pledged eternal devotion? She would wager that “Sir Randolph” would never attempt to explain away lovemaking as a mere “physical attraction.”
She sniffed. Thank goodness she was at least spared the embarrassment of rejecting Alec’s unwanted advances! Julia had rehearsed the whole episode in her mind, getting as far as when he got down on his knees and begged her forgiveness. At that point, she somehow forgot her pride and threw herself in his arms. But then, he looked so very forlorn on his knees.
Julia tossed the book back on the table. Her imagination was far too active. Alec was no hero. Somewhere, something had gone horribly wrong with his upbringing. If his grandfather were alive today, she would have some very choice words to say to the man.
“For heaven’s sake, Julia,” Maddie said with a stern frown. “What ails you? You’re as blue as megrim. If you are just going to sit there and stare into the distance and scowl, I may as well send for Edmund. He may not be the brightest thing, but at least he has some conversation in him.”
For a moment, Julia considered taking Maddie into her confidence, but one look at the shrewd blue eyes, and she balked. “Sorry, Aunt Maddie. I’m just tired.”
“Aren’t going into a decline, are you? I should call my doctor and have him give you a good purge. Clean you out and let you sleep like a babe. I have one every week. Does me a world of good.”
Oh, yes. That would finish off the week in a satisfying blaze of wretchedness. Julia slumped against the settee and stared at the ceiling.
Maddie let out an exasperated sigh. “Do you want a purge or not?”
“No, I don’t think it would help.” In fact, nothing would help, except a magical genie who could transform her into a raving beauty who was content to sit at home with her hands folded primly in her lap while the whole world marched by.
Alec would like that, Julia thought with disgust. Well, he could just forget it. If a fairy godmother were to suddenly appear and offer her a wish, she would be much more likely to ask for something sensible, like an end to hunger or poverty or—
“For God’s sake!” Maddie scowled. “You look like you swallowed a bee. Speak up! What’s Hunsterston done to put you in such a taking?”
The urge to confide was overwhelming. Julia took a deep breath and sat up straighter. “Alec and I have had a disagreement.”
“Oh,” Maddie said with evident disappointment. “Is that all? Not a day went by that Birlington and I didn’t rip up at each other for something or another.”
“Really? Who gave in?”
Maddie chuckled, her bright, painted lips parting to reveal patently false teeth. “He never could stand it when I refused to talk to him. Worked every time.”
Julia smiled tiredly. She had heard that Lord Birlington had been deeply in love with his wife. Now that she knew Maddie, she could see why. “I’m afraid it’s not that way for us.”
“Why not?”
“Alec and I did not marry for love.”
“Well, you certainly act like lovers. Here you are, moping about like your heart is broken while he’s out drinking and carousing like there’s no tomorrow.”
Julia raised her brows in what she hoped was an innocent gesture. “Oh? I suppose Edmund has been keeping you apprised of Alec’s every move.”
Maddie did not appear deceived. “Edmund is an empty-headed gabster. But yes, he’s mentioned a few things.”
Throwing subtlety to the wind, Julia asked in a blunt voice, “Like what?”
“Your husband doesn’t seem to be in the muslin line, if that’s what you’re asking. But he’s drinking more than he should. Losing quite a bit at cards, too. If you ask me, he soun
ds like a man in love.”
“Sounds like a fool, to me.”
“Not much difference.” Maddie regarded her with a shrewd gaze. “Bit of a tangle, eh? You love him but don’t want him to know.”
“I never said I loved him,” Julia said hotly.
“Lud, child, don’t flame up at me. I’m only telling you what I see.”
A defeated sigh escaped her. “Am I that transparent?”
“Good God, no,” Maddie said. “Besides, it wouldn’t matter if you were. The last thing men are capable of is looking at a woman and telling what she feels. Don’t know why that is, because it ain’t as if we don’t give them enough hints.”
“True. I practically threw myself at him and he…didn’t reciprocate.”
Maddie regarded her with a narrow gaze. “He didn’t, did he?”
“No,” Julia said miserably. Her limbs felt leaden, her heart hollow. Unbidden, her mouth trembled.
“Now don’t go turning all missish on me,” Maddie said hastily. She watched as Julia struggled to compose herself, then sighed. “I suppose I should help you. I’m something of a hand with matchmaking. After all, I was the one who introduced Lady Chambers to her husband.” A frown crossed Maddie’s wrinkled face. “Of course, I always thought he was a dolt. But if she doesn’t mind, who am I to say? They seem happy enough.”
Julia recalled Lord Chambers’ face on seeing Desiree and wondered just how happy he was.
“First things first.” Maddie used her cane to rub Ephram’s belly. The dog opened one eye and wiggled his tail. “You need to gain Huntertson’s attention.”
“Oh, I have it. Everything I do makes him angry.”
“Well, that’s a start. Next, you have to meet him on his level. Make him think you are one of the most exciting, unpredictable women he has ever known. He’ll not even look at another woman.”
The vision of herself as a mysterious, seductive enchantress held immense appeal. “How do I do that?”
Maddie regarded her with a critical stare. “For one thing, we’ve got to get you some different clothes.”
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