by M. Clarke
I nodded, glancing at Sara with a smile. Returning the smile, she took out plates from the cabinet next to the sink and placed them on the granite counter.
“We’ve made plenty. Want some spaghetti?” Sara asked, stirring the sauce and pouring it over the noodles Mom had placed on the plates.
“I didn’t have dinner. Sure, that looks good,” I replied.
Feeling too tired to help, I plopped down on my seat, observing Mom and Sara as they brought the plates to the table. Sara went back to the kitchen to bring utensils, napkins, and garlic bread.
“Thanks,” I said, digging in. Mom made the best spaghetti.
When Mom wasn’t looking, Sara leaned into me and whispered, “I’ve been keeping her busy. It helps.”
I nodded and mouthed. “Good.”
Mom sat across from me. “Your dad loved camping. I wished I’d gone with the family.” She dipped her head low, hiding her expression. “Now it’s too late.” Her words came out hardly audible, but I heard them in a soft whisper. Mom looked back at me. “What did you do there?”
I told Mom about almost everything, except for what went on between Josie and me. I also shared stories about how Dad got drunk one night and made us all laugh. She laughed when I told her that I was glad Dad had taken my friends camping, and how they would never forget those times together. Just as I was about to finish dinner, the doorbell rang. “I’ll get it.” I scooted my chair out and headed to the door. Looking through the peephole, I saw a figure that looked all too familiar. I opened the door.
“Are you mad at me?” He sounded angry, but his eyes told me he was worried.
“I’m not mad at you. What’s going on, Elijah?”
“When you didn’t show up at the gym, I tried calling but there was no answer.”
Where were my manners? Asking me if I was okay had my head spinning so that I didn’t realize Elijah was still standing outside. I swung the door wider, allowing him to come in. Taking out my phone from my back pocket, I saw that I had several missed calls from him.
Shit! “I’m so sorry,” I said, walking with him to the dining room. Elijah tensed up a little bit. He must have been feeling the same strangeness from the absence of my father when passing the photos on the wall. “I lost track of time. I also didn’t realize my phone was turned off.”
Elijah’s frown was replaced by a huge grin when he saw my mom and Sara. “Mama Rose. Sara.” He gave them hugs.
“Elijah. Have a seat and eat with us,” Mom insisted, getting out of her chair.
Elijah rested his hand on her shoulder, guiding her back to her seat. “I already ate. Thank you.”
Besides the hug Sara gave Elijah, she seemed dumbstruck. Staring at Elijah, her smile was too big for her face. Mom sat back down. “How’s Alex?”
“She’s good. Thanks for asking. She’s catching up on her studies as we speak.”
Sara’s cheeks finally turned back to their normal color. “What brings you here, Elijah?”
Elijah looked at me. “Seth stood me up. I came by to make sure he wasn’t cheating on me.”
Mom and Sara laughed like it was the funniest joke they’d ever heard. Elijah could have said I had two dicks and they still would’ve laughed just as hard. In fact, he could’ve picked his nose in front of them and they would’ve thought it was the sexiest thing they’d ever seen.
Elijah continued, taking a seat across from my mom. Knowing he didn’t plan to leave right away, I sat down too.
Mom looked at Elijah with an adoring expression. From the moment she found out about his gut-wrenching past and all that he’d had to endure, she took him in like a son. “Did you like camping too?” she asked.
Elijah nodded. “It’s one of the fondest memories of Papa Phil we have. I’ll never forget all the good times we shared.”
Mom kept quiet for a second, like she was soaking it all in. “I think he loved it more than all of you.” She let out a soft laugh. “For some men, golfing is their joy, but for my husband, it was camping. He used to talk about all the fun times. He really loved all of Seth’s friends.”
Elijah focused his eyes on the table. He took a moment to pause. “I know.”
“So, Seth told me you’re planning to propose to Alex?” Mom blurted after taking a sip of her drink. That was out of the blue.
Elijah slowly shifted his eyes to me, curling his lips at the corner. “I guess blabber mouth told you?”
“Yeah, he did.” Mom studied Elijah’s expression. “Phil used to talk about how he couldn’t wait to see our children get married. Since Phil and I got married so young—not that we regretted it. We’re just glad you’re all going to college and setting up your career before you start a family.” Mom looked away as if she were deep in thought. “Wait—you’re not—I mean—is Alex pregnant?”
“No,” Elijah and I said in accord, and then we looked at each other in surprise.
Mom eased her shoulders and leaned back into her chair. “Good.”
I got up to put my plate in the sink. I wanted seconds, but I didn’t want Elijah waiting around any longer for me. It was nice of him to drop by to make sure I was okay.
Sara took a bite of her garlic bread and swallowed. “When are you going to ask her?”
Elijah raked his hair back with a grin, his cheeks looking a little rosy. “Next—next Saturday. Seth is going to help me set it up.”
“Whatever you plan to do, I’m sure it’ll be romantic,” Sara sighed, trying not to make it obvious she wished it were her.
“Knowing Elijah, I’m sure it will be,” Mom threw in, just as she finished her last bite. “Maybe Alex can introduce Seth to one of her eligible friends.”
“Mom,” I hissed, but gently as I could. “I don’t have time for a girlfriend right now. I’m going back to Berkeley.”
Mom gave me a blank stare, and then blinked, seeming to realize that I wasn’t going to stay. Did she think I was going to quit school and come back to live with her?
She turned away. “I guess that would be difficult.”
Before the conversation took a different direction, I said, “Anyway, Elijah and I have to go.”
Everyone got up to exchange hugs, except for me. Sara looked like she was going to faint when Elijah gave her a kiss on her cheek.
“I’ll be back after my workout,” I said, heading to the door. Elijah followed behind me.
“Don’t worry about Seth. I think he already found the one. He just doesn’t know it yet,” I heard Elijah’s loud whisper.
I frowned.
CHAPTER 16
Josie
I dropped my bags next to the door and plopped onto the sofa in our apartment. Lexy trailed behind me and did the same.
“I hate camping,” she breathed.
“What?” I almost choked on my words in disbelief.
Lexy crossed her legs on the small wooden coffee table. “Okay. I take it back. I meant coming home. I hate the part when I’m back to reality, after a relaxing and peaceful weekend.”
Hearing the ringtone on my phone, I pulled it out of my back pocket. “I know what you mean. This was my first time camping. I didn’t want to come home.” Seeing “unknown caller” flash on my phone I hesitated. It had happened twice when we were camping.
“Aren’t you going to answer that?” Lexy asked, standing up.
I looked at the caller ID again and debated whether to pick it up. My heart pounded in my chest, fearing it would be my mom. Purposely avoiding her for the past year, I didn’t want to be found again. But then again, if it was Brad, I was really screwed.
“Everything okay, Josie?” Lexy asked when I didn’t answer her. It must have been the expression on my face that made her concerned.
“I’m fine. It’s nobody.” I shoved it back. Shifting my eyes to the bag she was unzipping. I did the same. I got my bag. “I might as well unpack too.”
Lexy kneeled down, pulled her brown hair to one side, opened her bag, and then stopped. “Looks like you had
a good time with Seth. I haven’t seen him smile that big since his dad passed away.”
“Really?” My tone rose a bit higher than I’d wanted. I reached into my bag and took out the dirty laundry.
Lexy made a couple of piles, one for whites and the other for darks. “Yes, really,” she asserted. “Did he ask you out?”
“He did,” I said casually, trying to remain calm, but deep inside I couldn’t wait.
“Josie.” Lexy suddenly placed her hand on mine and her eyes pierced through me. “I know you well—at least enough to feel comfortable being roommates—but I also don’t know you that well. Seth is like a brother to me. Please, don’t hurt him. He’s a great guy. He’s different than most guys I know. Seth is the type of a guy that will love only one woman with his whole heart and soul for the rest of his life. He’s not the most romantic guy, but he’ll treat you like a queen.”
I slowly pulled my hand out from under hers. “Don’t worry, Lexy. We’re just friends. Anyway, you remember what I told you when I became your roommate, don’t ya?” I answered my own question. “I don’t plan to stay that long. After I save enough money, I’m going to Los Angeles. That’s where I want to be.”
“Yes, I remember. But you also know that you can stay as long as you like, don’t ya?” Her smile was genuine, and it made me feel like crap for lying to her about going to Los Angeles. The fact was, I had no plan. I had no idea where I would end up. Just being far away from my mother and Brad was good enough for me. But…Seth.
“Yes.” I smiled back.
Lying on my bed, I couldn’t help thinking about the phone calls that had popped up as unknown caller. The pit of my stomach told me it was my mom. But how could she have found my number? The thought sickened me, bringing back the horrid memories of my childhood.
Like any other person, Mom had her good and bad days. On her bad days, the house was filled with shouting and sometimes she would break a few things, but never her things. Her precious items like makeup, perfume bottles, and jewelry were kept safe and protected. I, on the other hand, was the one that got the beatings. The one that became broken as a result of many years of abuse.
On good days, the house was quiet, sometimes too quiet—to the point that all she ever did was sit on her sofa and stare into space. When I would ask her questions, she wouldn’t answer. Occasionally, she would get up and walk into her bedroom and shut the door. Mom would stay in there for hours. Too afraid to tell her that I was hungry, I would feed myself. It was mostly cereal and sandwiches.
Mom paid attention to me for the wrong reasons and neglected me when it came to my needs; however, she never failed to brush my hair. Never was a strand out of place, and never was a braid out of line before I went to school. If I came home with messy hair, she would yell at me and tell me how ungrateful I was. She’d let me know how difficult it was to brush my thick hair and how it made her arms hurt, but she did it for me anyway. She knew how to reach in deep and pull out my guilty side, no matter how much I thought she was wrong.
The first time we went to church was the day I found out there was something wrong with my mom. Observing how loving other moms were with their children made me jealous and confused about my feelings toward her. For the longest time, I thought I was at fault. I felt worthless and stupid.
Come to think of it, my dad was the dumb one. He was the grown-up. He could’ve left her, but he stayed. How anyone could stay in a relationship with my mom was beyond me. She was the epitome of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. He must have really loved her, or he knew nobody else would love him. Or was he so unhappy that he drank all the time so we would leave him? Since Dad never bothered to reach out to me, I didn’t know if he was alive or dead. I didn’t care.
The night before we left, Mom had told me to say goodbye to my friends because we were leaving Dad. I begged, asking her to reconsider, but as usual she didn’t care about how I felt. It was always about her—her needs, her wants. That was the day she broke my soul. I would rather get a thousand beatings on my ass than to say goodbye to Seth.
What Mom didn’t understand and never knew was that Seth meant the world to me. From our friends’ perspective, what Seth and I had was a crush—young, sweet, innocent love—but to me, he was everything. He gave me his friendship. He respected me. He cared about me more than my parents ever did. He gave me the only thing I needed to make the things happening at home bearable. He was my serenity.
The day Mom took me away from Seth was the day I hated her with every fiber of my being. Something evil rose in me. I wanted her gone. I wasn’t rebellious and didn’t act out. Instead, I made a promise to myself that when I was old enough to move out, I would move as far away from her as possible so she couldn’t find me. She would no longer have a daughter. And that was exactly what I’d done.
I endured all those years of mental and physical abuse. Mom was smart to beat me on my ass so there was no evidence. Though she thought she was teaching me a lesson to be good, she was giving me more reasons to hate her. I hated my childhood, and I never wanted to revisit those memories again. But memories are hard to forget. Sometimes they took over my mind without my control. Just like they were doing now. I was thinking about my mom again.
Wanting to make the thoughts of my mom disappear, I thought about the camping trip: the way Seth had smiled at me, the way the sun had glistened against his tanned and toned chest, the way he’d made me feel secure when he wrapped his arms around me, and the way his lips felt pressed to mine. Everything about Seth gave me peace and comfort. Knowing he deserved better than someone like me, I knew we could never be together. But for now, I wanted this. I needed him. So, I couldn’t wait for our first date together.
CHAPTER 17
Seth
It was a busy Friday morning at Mama Rose, and it was even busier in the evening. A week went by in a flash. Josie and I texted each other since she had to work the night shifts this week, but I couldn’t wait to take her out tomorrow evening and spend some one-on-one time with her.
Mom and Sara came to the restaurant several days to help out during the week so I could go to Dad’s shop and take care of things there. I was grateful that Kevin was a loyal employee and that he’d been around since Dad had opened the shop. Kevin practically ran the place. I was thinking of asking him to be the manager when I went back to school.
Mom seemed like she was finally coming around, but there were still moments or days when she would shut out the world and want to be alone. I didn’t blame her. I wanted to do the same.
Holding a tray with one hand and the other one full of plates, Debbie swung by me on her way to a table and said, “Carla and Lisa called in sick. We’re very shorthanded tonight.”
“Great,” I muttered under my breath, and then turned to Joe, one of the bartenders. “We’re shorthanded today. Can you call for backup? I’ll pay double.”
As soon as Joe confirmed, I waited on tables. Every time there were fraternity and sorority gatherings at our restaurant, it was jam-packed. It didn’t help when I was shorthanded. I waved at some friends I’d met before I graduated and explained why I was there. It was always difficult when I had to hear the “I’m sorrys” and see their sympathetic faces.
After an hour had gone by, I was thinking of calling Sara to come to work, not seeing the line getting any shorter. We would probably be swamped for a couple more hours. I looked up to see Lexy’s smiling face as a customer walked away after paying his bill. Shifting my eyes toward the smell of roses, I spotted Josie standing behind Lexy.
I probably gave her the dorkiest grin, but I didn’t care. Her hair was down and wavy, the way I’d seen it when she’d cut me off and flipped me the bird. Wearing a short, sexy, slightly off-the-shoulder lavender shirt, she was a beautiful sight. The light makeup accentuated her facial features, and I loved her pink glossy lips that made her look like she was pouting. Our eyes locked—briefly, but it seemed like an eternity. I was gawking at her, and I was pretty sure she was looking back at me
the same way.
“You look like a mess, Seth,” Lexy commented. “I’ve seen your place crowded before, but not like this.”
Lexy wore shorts and a tank. Her hair was tied back. She looked casual, like always; on the other hand, Josie looked like she wanted to be noticed. I hoped she’d dressed up for me. Not that she wasn’t naturally beautiful, but the way she looked tonight. Damn! I wouldn’t be able to keep my eyes off her.
I wiped the sweat off my forehead. “I know. Two waitresses called in sick. So guess who’s doing double work?”
“You should’ve called me, Seth,” Josie said.
“Or me,” Lexy added.
“I thought you were working tonight. I mean, not that I would’ve called you. I’m not going to ask you.” No matter how desperate I was, I wouldn’t ask Josie, but maybe Lexy. That just seemed wrong, but Josie seemed to think otherwise.
Josie lightly tossed her hair back. “I think you got our text mixed up. You’re working the night shift tonight, not me.”
I didn’t have time to talk. People in the waiting area were throwing daggered eyes at me. They were probably wondering why I was chatting instead of attending to my duty. “If you want, both of you can sit in my office and order your dinner there. I think people will get angry if I let you ahead.”
Lexy and Josie looked at each other. I swore sometimes I thought girls had ESP, but only with each other. They both grabbed a menu.
“We’ve got this, Seth.” Lexy pushed me out of the way. “I’ve covered a shift before. I know what I’m doing.” Then Lexy was out of my sight, taking the next person on the waiting list to their table.
Josie also grabbed menus and stood in front of me. “This is what I know how to do. Go back and do what you normally do. Lexy and I have got this handled.”
I blocked her from walking farther. “I owe you—big time. Thanks for being my hero.”
Josie winked at me, the kind of wink that made my muscles weak and limp. “Don’t worry, Seth. I have a list.” She turned away from me, and I watched her cute ass sway just for a second. Her words gave me a hot tingling sensation. I didn’t mind that feeling at all.
