Nat exhaled and pulled back. “Yes. I would.”
“And all because of a car?” I squinted, trying to calm my heated body down. “Hmm, too bad this key doesn’t lead to a car. But…” I grabbed her hand. “I think you’ll still feel the same way when this afternoon is over with.”
“Oh? That confident, huh?”
I stopped and pulled her into my arms for another earth-shattering kiss. “Extremely.”
I released her and led her inside the building. I found our room, unlocked the door, and allowed her to go in first. Nat stopped in the middle of the floor. She silently took in the room. A roaring fire was in the corner fireplace, and we had a perfect view of the ocean.
“Beautiful.” She sighed.
It wasn’t that I couldn’t hear her, it was that I was lost in thought. This is what she should have had the moment I took her virginity, something beautiful, something special. Instead I’d taken her again and again, and now? Now all I could think about was the salty taste of her skin against my tongue. When had I turned into the type of person who used others that way? People that I loved?
“Alec?”
I sighed and walked toward Nat. She was facing the sliding glass door, staring at the ocean.
I assumed her silence meant she was stunned and excited.
Instead I watched in horror as her shoulders slumped and she caved to the floor on her knees. Her sobs filled the room.
“Nat?” I scooped her into my arms and sat down on the bed rocking her body back and forth. “What’s wrong, sweetheart? Are you sick? Are you okay?” I kissed her forehead. I would do anything to protect her. I hated it when she cried. In fact, the last time I even remember her crying was when my brother was in the hospital for nearly getting himself killed in a car accident.
“No.” She wiped my nose with my sleeve and gave me a watery smile. “I’m so scared of losing you, and you aren’t being yourself, and…” She started hyperventilating. I cursed and helped her to the floor, so I could sit behind her and brace her body. I wrapped my arms tightly around her middle.
“Baby, it’s okay,” I whispered in her ear. “Just close your eyes. Can you do that for me?”
She nodded and hiccupped. I could feel her body convulsing with emotion. What the hell was wrong? Nat was a part of me. It was ripping my soul in half to see her so sad. Shit. Did she know? Did Demetri know? Now I was beginning to hyperventilate.
“You and me, just you and me. Okay, Nat? I love you so damn much. My heart beats for you and before you crack a joke about me being cheesy — know that it’s true. I’ve wanted you since that first day when you stumbled down the hall.” I tucked her hair behind her ear and shuddered as her breathing became slower.
“I didn’t—” She gasped for air. “Stumble.”
She would argue in the middle of a panic attack. “You’re right. You fell. Flat on your gorgeous face. Could have knocked out your teeth too. Good thing I was your knight in shining armor.”
“You were not!” she argued as her breathing seemed to level out.
“Was too. Shh, you’re ruining the story.” My arms tightened around her. “And then when I sang to you… wow. You almost swooned right then and there.”
“I never swooned.”
“You wanted to swoon.” I chuckled at the memory.
“Alec—”
“—tsk, tsk, who’s telling the story?”
She sighed and took another deep breath. Her body sagged against mine in defeat.
“…I never told you, but…” My lips found her earlobe and then her neck. “I wanted to taste you so bad that day at school that I didn’t care. I didn’t care if I was going to hell. I didn’t care that I was hurting my brother. I didn’t even care that I was forcing your hand and putting you in a position where you had to choose. All I knew was I wanted you. Crazy, huh? My heart beat, her, her, her, over and over again. Every damn night until I thought I was going insane.”
“It beat for me?” she asked in a small voice.
How could she still not get it? How was it possible that she still didn’t know the way I felt about her?
“It still does. Every damn day, Nat. The day you said yes, the day you chose me, was the day that my heart stopped wanting to beat for me… it wanted to beat for you — only you — forever.”
A single tear ran down her cheek. “But, you’ve been so distant and weird and you’re smiling and—”
“People smile, Nat.” I could feel my control slipping. What if I just told her? Would she believe me? Believe my ridiculous story? It would make things so much easier. If I told her then… well, the fear that she could find out would be gone. Then again, she may never forgive me for ruining her life, for ruining our future — for ruining Demetri’s. I closed my eyes and lied. “And I’m stressed about the show and Demetri. Hell, it’s like I’m everyone’s dad. I’m just trying to figure out life.”
“I thought we were supposed to figure it out together.” She turned and got on her knees to face me. “Isn’t that what you do in relationships? You partner up? Fight for the greater good? Suffer together? Laugh and cry together? Isn’t that what we have, Alec?”
So much truth fit into her pleasant words. It sounded easy. But I knew it wasn’t. I knew that her words were just words that any person says when they’ve lived the perfect life. We can get through anything? Damn, Nat. I wish that was true. God, how I wished it. “Come here, sweetheart.”
She straddled my lap and sighed as my hands traced her face and finally cupped her chin. Nat needed the words. She needed the truth, but all I could do was lie again and hope to God that it would someday become truth. Because as of right now, I felt her slipping even further away from me. “What we have is more.”
“Promise?”
“With all my heart.” My voice caught as the words stumbled out of my mouth. Shit. I couldn’t go on like this. “I would never intentionally hurt you. You know that, right?” I played with a lock of her hair, twisting it around my fingers.
“I know.”
“Good.” I sighed. It was good enough for now. “Now, if your moment of hysteria is over… I think we should pop some champagne, eat some food, and be lazy.”
“Yes!” She yelled in my face, making me shake my head in laughter. “Sorry. I was bummed that we were going to miss lazy whore day today.”
“Me too.” I chuckled and patted her butt. “Okay, up. Let’s tell Mr. and Mrs. Smith what we want.”
“You.” She shrugged.
“Unfortunately, they still refuse to put me and Demetri on the menu. Weird, right?”
“I’ll lick you anyways.” She nudged me as we walked to the door.
I groaned. “You better run, woman, before I tackle you to the ground and have my way with you.”
She shrieked and took off running down the hall, laughing the entire way.
Chapter Seven
Alec
I let her win. I mean, we jogged with each other every day. I ran marathons; she used to be on track team in high school. The competitive streak in that one was incredible, but I felt bad since she just broke down in my arms.
I felt even worse when I realized I was the cause of it. It was my fault. I knew that much. I knew I was acting like an insane person, but I couldn’t shake the guilt, the worry, the threats. Maybe if everything wouldn’t have happened at once, I would have been able to carefully deal with each situation. Instead, it was like I woke up one day and I was in Hell. And I haven’t been able to leave ever since.
“Beat you!” Nat huffed and crooked her finger in my direction. “I shall receive my winner’s kiss, good sir!”
“Knight. Knight in shining armor, please.” I rolled my eyes. “At least get it right.”
“Fine.” She did a little curtsy and laughed. “Knight in shining armor.”
“At your service.” I swept her into my arms and swung her around the dining room, ravishing her mouth with such hunger that I was having trouble remembering my name. Just a
s I was pondering how strong the table was next to me, and if we would break it if I just so happened to slam my girlfriend against it and rip her clothes off, I heard a throat clear.
“Ain’t that kind of establishment.” Mr. Smith laughed and waved his apron in the air. “But oh, how I remember the days when the missus and I used to—”
“Oh, stop!” Mrs. Smith came barreling in. “Do you want to scar the young ones for life?”
Thank God. Pretty sure I would have had to cut my own ears off after that particular story.
“Sparkling soda, chocolate soufflé, followed by a light lunch and tea sound good?” Mrs. Smith smiled at us and put her hands on her hips.
Needing something stronger, I added, “A bottle of champagne too.”
Mr. Smith winked and added it to the order. I knew he would. Drinking alcohol underage was only one of the many perks of being famous. People never said no. Shit, I felt like Demetri in that moment. He used to use his fame as a way to get anything. If it was illegal, he wanted it.
“So…” Nat wrapped her arms tightly around my waist. “Do you guys want us to help or—”
“—Absolutely not! You’re guests! Shoot, you’re even staying in the honeymoon suite.”
Expecting a horrified glance from Nat, I looked down and waited for the reprimand. Instead she merely shrugged and said, “Cool.”
Cool? I booked a honeymoon suite with a girl that just graduated high school a year and a half ago! She should be freaking out! Hell, I was kind of freaking out. I didn’t want to pressure her, then again she had thrown herself at me and basically begged me to take her virginity. Okay, maybe begged is the wrong word. But still.
“Everything’s almost ready.” Mr. Smith winked. “We’ll just knock and set everything on trays outside the room, okay?”
“Sounds great.” I nodded at Mr. Smith and led Nat back to the room. She was eerily quiet. I watched the waves for a few moments. I felt in control when I focused on things. Balanced even.
“What are you thinking about?” Nat asked from behind me.
“Life.”
“Oh.” She laughed, and then her hands were underneath my shirt and lifting it over my head. “Guess you’ll have to catch up with my train of thought then, huh?”
“What?” My shirt fell to the floor. I turned around and nearly passed out. I blinked once, twice. Hell, I wasn’t even sure if my eyes were screwed in right.
“Nat?” My voice cracked.
She stood in front of me in nothing but one of the bathrobes from the Inn. Her long hair dangled in front of the silk robe, leaving nothing to the imagination, and I had to fight to keep from charging toward her like a caveman.
“Bath?”
“Hell, yes.” I almost tripped as I swept her into my arms. She wrapped her legs around me. I was going to die. I pushed her up against the door in the room and placed one hand underneath her so she wouldn’t fall. Her soft moans and sighs were killing me.
Such a sweet death.
I nipped her ear.
“Oh, that felt good. Do that again.” She giggled.
My blood ran cold. Shaking, I put her down and kissed her on the nose just as a knock came on the door. “Room service!”
Luckily Nat didn’t notice anything. She simply blushed and went to open the door.
“I’ll be… just a minute.” I could hardly get the words out as I ran into the bathroom and locked the door. In two strides I was in front of the toilet puking my guts out.
Guilt tasted like Hell.
And sin tasted like being damned.
“Oh, that felt good. Do it again…” She giggled, totally drunk out of her mind as we staggered into the hotel room. “Alec, come on… I’ll help you forget her.”
“Doubt it.” Disgusted with myself but too sad to do anything about it, I pushed her away and sat on the bed. I hated it when my publicist made me do these things. Just be seen with her and it will help both your careers.
I’d gone back to LA to clear my head. Nat and Demetri. Of course it would happen. He deserved that after the shit I pulled.
“Baby, lay down with me,” she whined.
“No thanks.”
“Such a gentleman.” She hiccupped. “Please? I’ll make it all better.” She reached for me and moaned.
Said the snake to Eve in the garden. I laughed at my own joke. “Doubtful, and I’m not even feeling nice enough to let you try.” I slapped her greedy little hands away and got up.
“Fine.” She threw a pillow at me. “Just leave.”
“Fine!” I yelled and stormed out of the room, directly into her.
“That lasted long.” She smiled. I’d seen her before. She’d been at a few movie premieres with Jaymeson. She looked like an older version of Nat.
“She’s crazy.”
“Aren’t they all?” The pretty woman tilted her head to the side. “Wanna come in my room? I promise. No crazy here.”
“Promise?” I rubbed my eyes. Damn, I just needed to get some sleep. I’d had too much to drink and wasn’t feeling particularly like going back into that witch’s room. Besides, I wasn’t sober enough to drive home, not by a long shot, and the last thing I wanted was to leave my car overnight at the same hotel that Satan was staying at, or worse, get a room and somehow find my face next to hers on the tabloids. Which really begged the question what the hell was I doing at the same hotel?
“Absolutely. And you can tell me why such a famous rock star like yourself looks like someone just kicked your puppy.”
“It’s a long story,” I muttered catching a whiff of her rose water perfume.
“Hey, I’ve got all night.”
“Okay, sure.” I followed her into the room.
The first mistake. One I would live with the rest of my life.
“Alec!” Nat called from the other side of the door. “The food’s here. You okay?”
“Yeah.” My hoarse voice sounded anything but okay. “I’ll be right out.”
I was in some deep shit.
Chapter Eight
Demetri
“Dude, you look depressed.” Jaymeson nudged me in the shoulder. “What? Someone run over your dog or something?” He put his feet on the coffee table and checked his cell.
“Yeah, my imaginary dog. Some giant ass British man ran it over with his tiny car. Weird.” I rolled my eyes at Jaymeson and flipped to another channel.
“You do realize you and Alec are part English right?” Jayemson felt the need to point out. “Furthermore, my accent gets me laid, what’s yours do?”
I sighed and showed him a picture of Alyssa on my phone.
“Point Demetri.”
I wasn’t in the mood to joke around. I mean, I loved Jaymeson as much as anyone. He was one of my best friends. I just couldn’t shake the horrible feeling I had about Alec and everything going on.
After much coaxing and pleading with the producers, Alyssa was given the rest of the night off to spend with her family. Technically, they only needed the celebrities to appear tonight, leaving me stuck in the car with Jaymeson, Angelica, and Alec’s dark mood. I could only pray that Nat took his mind off things… hmm. Weird thought. Was I actually praying that Nat had sex with my brother? See, now he had me losing my damn mind!
I needed to back off of the taffy if I was going to have any appetite at the restaurant, but I was a nervous chewer. If I didn’t have taffy — especially now, you’d better believe I’d be drowning myself in the ocean with a bottle of Jack.
“You morons ready?” Angelica came around the corner in the shortest dress I’d ever seen on a human being.
“I didn’t know it was Halloween.” Jaymeson laughed.
I winked at Angelica. “Dressing up as a whore… nice. I’m sure that will get great press for the new family restaurant. Good thinking. Let me just take off my pants and grab my stripper pole.”
“Ah, the stripper pole!” Angelica slammed her hand against her forehead. “I knew I was forgetting something.” Her evil
eyes bored into mine. “Care to oil me up before my dance?”
“Do you promise to slip and bleed to death?”
“Why? Blood turn you on?” She purred.
Holy hell this woman had to go.
“Too far.” Jaymeson stood between us. “Alright, fake girlfriend, let me go…” He tilted his head and took in her outfit again. “Find coveralls or something.”
“Coveralls?” Angelica squawked.
“Yeah.” Jaymeson nodded. “To make up for your nakedness.”
“Brilliant,” I exclaimed in a fake British accent while Angelica flipped off Jaymeson’s disappearing form.
The sound of the TV made the silence in the room worse. Um, awkward. Angelica and I hadn’t really talked about that one week we spent together a year ago.
Shit. The elephant was getting bigger by the second.
“So you hate me now?” Angelica managed to sit without flashing me her goodies. Her face fell into a pout. “I thought we got along really well when you visited me and—”
“Yeah, I’m going to stop you right there. I was high.”
“But—”
“—On drugs, Angelica. I would have slept with an ant had it looked at me cross-eyed, okay? Drop it. And if I remember correctly the one and only time you and I did hook up was so damn horrible I was traumatized for weeks. Thanks for calling me by my brother’s name by the way. That didn’t make me want to kill myself.”
“I didn’t do that.” Angelica’s face blushed a bright red. “I hate Alec. I would never, ever…” Her shrill laughter gave me a headache.
“Right. And I wasn’t taking like five party drugs at the same time in order to envision Nat’s face while I screwed you. Okay, yeah. Let’s just lie because that always solves everything.”
“Does Alyssa know?” The gleam in Angelica’s eyes made me want to pull out every piece of her hair one by one. If she didn’t shut up I was going to fight her chick-style.
“Yup.” I exhaled and leaned back against the couch. It had been the best and worst night of my life. I had to come clean about Angelica before the show started. Alyssa was pissed and then worried I would fall back into old habits.
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