“What are you doing here?” I ask, trying to change conversation.
“One of my friends has enlisted, and he leaves on Monday.”
“Ah, I see. One last hurrah then?” I look around, trying to pick out the group he’d be with. I find a rowdy group of guys, and indicate toward them. “Them?”
“How did you guess?” River asks, strained.
“They’re the loudest. But, won’t they miss you?”
“Nah, all they want to do is get drunk and pick up. I didn’t even want to come, and changed my mind at the last minute. You know, this stuff, isn’t my scene. But, let me tell you.” He smiles broadly, showing me that cute dimpled chin, and beautiful dark, soulful eyes. “I’m so glad I changed my mind.”
“I’m glad you changed your mind too. So, tell me. What’s been happening?”
He shrugs. “I really don’t want to talk about me. All I want to do is kiss you.” Whoa, hello there. Where has this confidence come from? He reaches across and waits for me to put my hand in his. He pulls me off the seat, and onto his lap. “I’ve missed you so much,” he says.
“I’ve missed you like crazy.” I lower my head, so my forehead rests against his.
He laces his hands through the back of my hair, and gently guides my lips to his. Slowly, and like there’s no other person in the room, he darts his tongue out to caress my tingling lips. Jesus, just kiss me, will you?!
Yeah, I’m not liking this slow crap. I devour his mouth, kissing him like I’ve never kissed anyone before. Our mouths are sealed over each other’s, completely connected. My heart beats quicker with every passing second. My pulse races. My skin tingles while his hands grip my hair. Shit, every part of me is throbbing with a desperate desire. I’ve never wanted anyone as much as I want River right now. I just need to touch his bare skin, have it against mine. God, if we keep kissing like this, we might end up screwing right here, in front of everyone.
Pulling away, I see River’s dark eyes are hungry with need. Shit, I can only imagine this is how I’m looking to him. Leaning down, I take his earlobe in my mouth, and tease it with the tip of my tongue. His hands are on my hips. The rumble that vibrates through his chest, echoes deep inside of me. “I need a drink,” I say.
“Fuck, Hope.”
“After my drink.” Hopefully.
His eyes snap open, and a slow smile stretches across his beautiful face. “I’ll get us some drinks.” He taps my thigh, wanting me to get up. I grind against him. “That’s not fair. How am I supposed to get up now?”
“You’re already up,” I tease.
His hands move around to my butt, where he smacks me. He watches as my eyes widen. “Oh, I see,” he says. He grabs my butt, and moves me off of him. “I’ll be back in a second.” As he gets up, I see his phone fall to the ground from his back pocket.
“Hey!” The music is too loud for River to hear me. Dumb ass. I thought only I lost phones. I stand, retrieve it and place it next to me on the bench seat.
I look over to Annabella and Lydia, both of them are in their own worlds, dancing together on the dance floor.
I’m so excited. I’m getting laid tonight, and it’s with River. Woohoo! It feels so right. Him, me, us.
I look over to the bar, where River’s giving the server our order. He turns, notices me staring, and he winks. Shit, I think my insides have melted. Fuck, he’s so hot. His dark hair, cute dimpled chin, smoldering dark eyes.
River’s phone vibrates next to my leg, and automatically look down to see a message has come through.
My heart drops into my stomach. A bolt of ice shoots through my veins.
Claire says: Hey baby, when you get home we have to make a decision about what our baby’s name will be.
What the actual fuck?
He’s not only got a girlfriend, he’s going to be a father?
What a fucking asshole.
Blinking rapidly, I do everything I can to hold the tears in.
I take several deep breaths. I can’t believe this. He had his tongue in my mouth, and all the while he knew he was going to be a father?
Suddenly, the anger takes over. My hands are trembling from the sheer fury peaking inside of me. Nope. Not gonna happen.
“Hey,” River says as he places the drinks on the small table already overcrowded with empty glasses. He looks at me, then quickly looks down to his phone. “Oh.”
“You’re gonna be a fucking father?” I yell.
“It’s…”
“No.” I throw the phone at him. “Go home, to Claire. You lying bastard.” I pick my drink up, and throw that at him too. “You’re not the man I thought I knew.” I run as fast as I can.
“Hope, wait.”
I’m not waiting. This isn’t something small. This is a huge deal. He and Claire are going to be a family. I keep running, until I’m outside. And just like fate, there’s a taxi about to pull away from the curb. I jump in, and close the door. “Please, just drive,” I say.
“Sorry, but…”
“Hope!” River bashes on the window.
“Please,” I beg as I burst into tears. “Please.”
The lady looks at me, then a frantic River trying to open the door. She pulls away from the curb. “You okay, sugar?” she asks.
“Thank you for not throwing me out.”
“One more fare will help me.” I see her smile through the mirror. I’m sobbing as she drives. She hands me a box of tissues. “Where to?”
I take a few tissues, and give her my home address.
The River Lockwood I loved no longer exists. Or maybe, he never did to start with.
Sitting in Elle’s café, I keep bringing River’s number up on the screen. I know we’re supposed to go out to talk about things tonight, but I can’t do it. I can’t bring myself to actually go. It doesn’t matter, I suppose.
I write out a text and every time, I delete it.
“You look like you need something stronger than a coffee,” Elle says. She slides into the bench seat opposite me. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing,” I say as I stare down at my phone.
“Aha. That’s why you’ve been staring at your phone for the past hour and haven’t touched your now stone-cold coffee.”
I look up, then gaze over to the coffee. “Sorry.”
“What’s going on?” I shrug. “Right then. It’s got nothing to do with River, has it?”
“It’s complicated,” I say.
“It really isn’t. And even if it was, you can un-complicate it.”
“It’s not that easy.”
“Why?” she pushes.
Placing my phone face down, I now have nothing but the back of it to stare at. “It’s just not that easy,” I repeat as I look up at her.
She nods slowly. “I think you’re afraid.”
“Damn right I am.”
“Huh.”
“What?” I ask.
“If you don’t want to know, why are you sitting here like you’re about to have your last meal?” God, I hate how observant she is. I answer her the only way I can. I shrug. “You know, it really isn’t so complicated.”
“Says the chick who’s been lusting after the cop and refuses to ask him out,” I snap. The second I speak the words, I instantly regret them. Elle’s eyes widen, as she lifts her head, then gives me a small nod. “Elle,” I say, trying to take back my bitchiness.
“It’s okay.” She plasters a fake smile on her pretty, yet hurt face. “Would you like any more coffee?” She stands, and runs her hands down the front of her shirt.
“I’m so sorry.”
She holds her hand up, while she continues to hold her head up with pride. “Is there anything else I can get you?”
Oh man. I’ve hurt her, and I didn’t want to do that. Elle’s been nothing but kind to me, and I’ve been so horrible. “Elle, please. I’m so sorry.”
“Apology accepted. Let me know if I can get you anything else.” She leaves, and disappears into the kitchen.
I feel like shit now that I’ve hurt Elle. Ugh. I hate myself for being such a jerk. I flip my phone around, write out a text, and press send. Can’t make it, sorry.
I slide out of the chair, leave some money on the table, and exit the café. I’m so preoccupied, I don’t even realize someone’s walking toward me until I quite literally bump into him. Looking up, I see Jake. “I’m sorry, Jake,” I say as I try to make a quick getaway before I say something offensive to him too.
“You okay, Hope?”
Damn it. Why does he have to ask? “Yeah, I’m good. You?”
“What’s wrong?” he asks without responding to my question.
“I’m good.” I offer him a fake smile.
He stares at me, puffs out his chest, and widens his stance. He’s doing the whole sheriff thing. “What’s wrong?” He crosses his arms in front of his chest.
“Sorry, Jake. I’m running late. But, I’m okay. Just got a lot on my mind.” I tap my temple, hoping he’ll believe me. “You know, permits, house, repairs. All that stuff.”
“You’re not in trouble?”
Well, let me see. The guy I was once in love with lives in the town I ran away to, and now he’s working for me, and stirring up a cauldron full of emotions. Trouble? Hell yeah, I’m in trouble. “Nah, nothing I can’t handle.”
“You know this is a safe town, and I’ll do everything I can to protect you. But you have to trust me and tell me what’s happening.”
Now I have to tell him something. Shit, what do I say? “Jake, it honestly isn’t anything at all. If I do run into trouble, I promise, you’ll be the first person I’ll come to.”
Jake’s eyes narrow as he takes me in. “I’ll accept that, for now.”
Man, what is it with everyone here? “Thank you. I have to go. A lot of work to get done on the house.”
“It’ll be getting dark soon.”
“I have a generator I use. I think I’ll spend some time there tonight.” I need to be alone and away from everyone. Especially River.
“Okay.” He tips his head, and walks into Elle’s café. It still baffles me how those two can’t overcome whatever shyness they both have, and just go for it. Anyway, it’s not my business, I guess.
I get into my truck, and drive to Old Roger’s house.
It’s well after ten and I should go back to May’s so I can shower and go to bed. I’m so tired, and hungry. Grabbing my bottle of water, I unscrew the lid, and finish what’s left in it. My eyes are stinging, and I can’t help but continuously yawn.
It’s so quiet at night. There aren’t any cars driving past, or anyone tooting their horns. Nothing like what I’m used to.
I walk out to the front porch, and lean against one of the support beams.
Closing my eyes, I focus in on the native sounds of the night. In the distance, I can hear an owl hooting, and crickets chirping. I can even hear the sound of the waves of the ocean.
Meow.
My eyes quickly open, and I nearly jump back until I realize it’s the cat rubbing up my leg.
“Hey, buddy.”
Meow.
“You hungry?”
Meow.
“Yeah, me too.” I head down to my truck and get a small can of cat food, and the cat bowl out. Crap, the faucet in the kitchen has been torn out, so I walk around to the side of the house, where the outdoor faucet is still attached. I fill one side of the dual-bowl feeder up with water and carry it back up to the porch.
Meow.
“Yeah, yeah, I know. Here you go.” I tear the cat food tin top open, and empty it on the other side. The cat looks at me, then the food. “You’ve got to be kidding, right? This isn’t the right kind of food for you?”
Meow.
Sitting on the top porch step, I look at the cat. “If you don’t like it, don’t eat it,” I say to the cat.
He blinks at me, then looks at the food again. He walks over, sniffs the food, and settles in to eat.
“Thought you’d eat it.” I look up to the darkened sky, and watch as a handful of stars twinkle in the sky. The crescent moon is barely visible, but at least I can see it’s the slightest of slivers.
I hear the rumble of a truck approaching, and I look to see if it’s Charlie. It pulls up behind my truck, and the moment I see it, I know it’s River.
The interior light flicks on when he opens the door, confirming my suspicion. He closes the door, and when he rounds the truck, he sticks his hands in his jeans pockets. “So,” he says as he slowly approaches.
“So,” I reply, not really wanting to have a conversation with him.
“I’m hoping you lost your phone again, and some random person messaged me to call off our date.”
“It wasn’t a date.”
He half-chuckles and focuses in on the cat, who’s still eating. “Okay, it wasn’t a date. You didn’t lose your phone, did you?”
A few years ago, losing my phone was something I did often. Now, no way. “Nope.” I purse my lips together, then sigh.
He clicks his tongue to the roof of his mouth. Looking down, he too sighs. “We need to talk, Hope.”
“I’ve been holding my tongue since the day you showed up here. And I’ve wanted to ask, but you know what? It’s not my business, not anymore.”
He slowly strolls toward me, and sits on the step beside me. “You never gave me the opportunity to explain.”
Why does this hurt so much? My heart can’t take another blow like it did on my twenty-first. I hold my hands up, abandoning this conversation. “It’s not my business, River.” I stand, and start heading down toward my truck.
“She wasn’t pregnant,” he desperately blurts. I stop walking. I know what I saw. Turning, I’m seconds from smacking him and his lying mouth. “Claire was lying.”
I struggle to move. “Don’t fucking lie to me,” my voice cracks, but I’m a damn warrior and I hold in the volcanic emotions rippling deep inside.
“I’m not.” He hasn’t moved from the step, but he’s edging forward ready to jump up. “Claire and I had a thing. It lasted all of about three months. And when I broke it off with her, she became a bit of a stalker. Showing up at work, calling me all the time. Then she dropped the bombshell that she was pregnant. With my baby.” River runs his hands through his dark hair.
“What happened?” I ask as I return to where I was sitting. The cat sees me sitting, and curls up next to me. His body firm against mine, between River and me.
“I wouldn’t run from my responsibilities, Hope. But I knew something wasn’t right, too. So, I told her, we’ll go to the doctor together.”
“And?”
“Well, I made the doctor’s appointment, and as the day was approaching, she was acting really weird. But, I had a gut feeling something was wrong. I wasn’t sure if it was her, or the baby. The day of the appointment, she said she’d made a different appointment she couldn’t get out of. She was avoiding it, which screamed to me how she was lying. I confronted her, but she kept to her story of being pregnant.” He shakes his head, then turns away. I see he moves his hand. Shit, is he crying?
“What happened?” I push. I deserve the truth.
“I drove to the drug store and got a pregnancy test. I watched as she peed on the stick. She didn’t want me to watch, but I just had this feeling that she was manipulating me. I made her pee on that damn stick in front of me. And we both watched it, until it came up with one God-damned line. Not pregnant.”
“Oh.”
He stands, and starts pacing in front of me. “But you know the worst thing about all this?”
“There’s something worse than being duped into believing you’re going to be a father?”
“The whole time I thought she was pregnant, all I could think of was how I wish it was you carrying my child, and not her.”
My heart skips a beat, and for once I’m actually speechless. I don’t know what to say, or even how to react. Having a baby hasn’t ever really entered my mind. I never imagined m
yself as a mommy, I thought I’d be flipping houses until I was too old to do that.
“You don’t have to say anything,” River says. “But you had to know. What you saw that night, was nothing more than a horrible joke on me. But the worst thing is, not only am I not a father because she was never pregnant to start with, but I lost you, again.”
“That night…” I shake my head. “Broke me,” I finally say after the longest of seconds. “I was shattered.”
“We hadn’t even exchanged numbers, so I couldn’t call you.” He comes over and sits again. The cat stirs beside me, opens his eyes, and hisses at River. “This cat doesn’t like me at all.”
I chuckle. “Look, it’s been a long time.”
“I know, and all I want is the chance to make it up to you again.”
“River, it’s pointless. Once this house is done, I’m moving on. And I can’t take the chance that I’ll be hurt again. I’m just coming out of a relationship with a guy who…” I stop short of telling him what happened with Grady. He doesn’t need to know. It’s in the past.
“But what if we can make it work this time? There aren’t any outside forces keeping us apart.”
“Except, this isn’t my home, and it’s yours.”
“You owe it to yourself to try.”
I stand, walk up to the door, close and lock it. Then I head down the steps. The cat follows me. “I owe it to myself to protect my heart. And you owe it to yourself to protect yours. We’re not a good fit, River. Maybe we never were.”
“You’re wrong,” he says within a nanosecond. “You and I have something. I know it, I’ll just have to make you see it too.”
I walk backward to my truck shaking my head. The cat follows me. “Goodnight, River.” I get into my truck, and the cat jumps up into the bed. I don’t know what I’m going to do with this cat, or with River. I pull onto the quiet street, and head toward May’s. The whole time, my damn head feels like it’s going to explode with the overload of information.
It doesn’t matter anyway. Once Old Roger’s house is flipped, I’m out of here.
Waking, I stare up at the ceiling of the converted stables. Charlie is snoring so loudly he probably wouldn’t hear a freight train passing. I grab my phone, and remember I turned it off yesterday, trying to avoid River. Which, incidentally was futile.
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