The last thing I read, he had promised to buy me the house I wanted by the lake, with purple flowers.
Eventually I realized that Kaleigh was sitting beside me on the sofa with her hand on my back, asking, “Are you okay, Mom?”
I stood up and walked to the window, and looked down at the flower boxes full of purple and violet petunias.
The screen door opened suddenly and I could barely see straight through my blurry wet eyes. Holding the journal in my hands, I turned to face Aaron.
He stopped just inside the door, fishing rod in one hand, bucket of fish in the other, and all the color drained from his face.
“You weren’t supposed to see that,” he said.
Stomach churning, I set it down on the window sill. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to.”
“Did you read it?”
Unable to lie to him, I nodded.
His Adam’s apple bobbed and he bent forward to set down the bucket of fish and lean the rod up against the wall.
The door swung open and Malcolm followed him in. “Did you guys see what we caught?” he asked. “They were biting like crazy!”
“You had a good time?” I asked, not wanting to spoil what had been a perfect day for Malcolm.
Aaron wouldn’t look at me. He noticed the full coffee pot and went to pour himself a cup.
Kaleigh immediately went to check out the fish in the bucket. “Wow,” she said. “Let’s go outside and take some pictures of them.”
“Good idea,” Malcolm replied.
Again, I was amazed by my young daughter’s awareness and discretion.
As soon as the door swung shut behind them, I moved into the kitchen where Aaron was standing at the coffeemaker, looking down at the cup he’d just poured. I laid my hand on his shoulder.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I couldn’t help it. I wanted to know what happened to you.”
“I’ve told you what happened,” he said, meeting my eyes. “How much did you read?”
“I read the letters you wrote,” I replied.
He bowed his head and shook it. “I don’t know what to say. I didn’t want you to see those. I was half out of my mind, Carla.”
“No…” I softly said.
He turned to me. “Yes. All I did those last few months was imagine that I was married to you and that you were waiting for me to come home to you. And I think I actually believed it when I built that raft and sailed for the shipping lanes. What sane man would do something like that?” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “What you read… It was fantasy. Maybe on a conscious level, but maybe not. I don’t know.” He brushed past me and moved to the window to retrieve the journal. “You won’t need a restraining order or anything. I promise, I’m fine now.”
A deep sorrow filled me, and I followed him to the window. “The purple flowers…” I said, looking out at the window box below us. “Were these for me?”
“No,” he gently said. “They were for me, because by the end of it, that dream of yours was mine, too. When I saw this place for sale online, I couldn’t believe what I was looking at. It was all here, the lake, the gazebo, even the flowers. I bought it, just as it was. I didn’t plant a thing.”
I looked out at the water. “But it’s so perfect.”
“I know.”
We stood in silence, listening to Kaleigh and Malcolm laughing and talking outside.
“It’s still my dream,” I said. “And I’m not sorry I read those letters, Aaron. It was the most romantic thing I’ve ever seen. I’m only sorry I didn’t ask your permission first. I feel like I stole something from you.”
I felt his hand clasp mine. “No.”
Then he took me into his arms and held me close.
“I’m the one who wants to steal something,” he whispered in my ear. “And from a cop no less.”
My breath hitched in my throat, and my pulse skyrocketed. “I’d really like it if you’d kiss me right now.”
He drew back and took my face in his hands. Anticipation rose up from my depths, on top of the strange, unbreakable connection that seemed to form an electric current between us every time we met. Thoughts of him over the past few months, endless dreams of the two of us together, had dominated my world and filled me with doubts about my future. But all the doubt was fading away now. I knew what I wanted and I finally understood what it all meant—or maybe I always had. It wasn’t until this moment that I became brave enough to trust it.
The sunlight beaming in the window reflected in Aaron’s eyes. Then he pressed his lips lightly to mine.
I closed my eyes and relished the taste of him, the feel of his warm callused hands sliding down to the tops of my shoulders, then pulling my body close, anchoring me to him.
The kiss was hot and wet and filled me with inconceivable desire.
“Carla,” he whispered in my ear, sending shivers straight down to my toes. “Don’t leave. Don’t go to him tonight. Stay here with me.”
Without answering the question, I wrapped my arms around his neck, rose up on my toes and kissed him again, parting my lips and tasting the delicious flavor of his mouth.
My body felt charged and alive, and I wanted him with something close to an obsession. A feeling of profound joy and intimacy flowed through me, and I drew back to hold his face in my hands.
The door opened just then and we stepped apart.
Kaleigh and Malcolm walked in. “Are you going to show us how to gut them?” she asked, and I couldn’t help but laugh at the ultimate shattering of the most romantic moment of my life.
“Sure,” Aaron said, his eyes glistening with joy as he turned around. “And I hope you’ll all stay for dinner because we caught enough to feed an army.” He turned back to look at me again. “Unless you have other plans.”
I gazed up at him with wonder. “No,” I breathlessly replied, feeling a sense of completeness I’d never known before. “I don’t have any other plans. We’d love to stay. Malcolm, you’ll have to call your mom and let her know.”
“Sure,” he replied, and walked outside to dial her number.
Aaron reached for my hand and smiled. “Then let’s go clean some fish.”
Epilogue
Aaron
My story is not common, and today I look back on my life with immense gratitude for all that I’ve experienced, both the pleasures and the ordeals. I am a better man because of all of it, and my world is far richer than it was before.
Of course I am not speaking of material things. For a full year I learned to live without any of that. All I had was the great and astonishing magic of the universe, the company of the animals in the forest, a few tools and gifts from Seth, and the command of my intellect and imagination. But that’s when I discovered the ultimate strength within me. No matter how dark things became, no matter how desperate or lonely, I always believed there was a light somewhere beyond my ability to see.
Even if you can’t see it today, it might appear for you tomorrow.
What provided that light for me—when I sank very low and came close to giving up—was love.
I wasn’t consciously aware at the time, but my love for Carla and the son I didn’t know I had is what kept me going—though perhaps I did know. Maybe I always sensed Malcolm’s presence in this world, and that’s what I was praying for when the plane crashed into the wilderness: to be reunited with him.
I still don’t know if it was God who answered my prayers. How can a man of science ever be certain of such spiritual things? But there were many moments on the island when I felt an intense need to pray, even when I didn’t think He was listening.
Now here I am with all my prayers answered. Is it possible He delivered my prayers to Carla, like whispers on a breeze? She often says she felt me, the promise of me, sometimes, even before she knew I existed.
We’re married now, Carla and I. Of course, there were a few hurdles to clear before we could pledge our vows. She had to end things with Josh, and I had to confront Meg about our son
and establish my rights as a father.
I asked her why she never told me about him. She admitted she didn’t know if Malcolm was mine, and it was shame and remorse that drove her to the life she felt she deserved.
A DNA test has since proved my paternity. Meg has sought treatment for her addictions and is in our prayers every day.
I am pleased to report that Malcolm has become an important part of our lives. He’s currently enrolled in a university music program while minoring in psychology. I am immensely proud of how far he’s come and what he’s accomplished.
Kaleigh is in high school now and plays guitar with me every day. She intends to pursue a career in nursing. She also has a boyfriend, which presents challenges at times, but he’s a decent kid who treats her well. Carla and I often wonder whether or not they’ll still be together five years from now.
In any case, it’s Kaleigh’s life and she will live it her own way. All we want is for her to be happy and do what she loves.
It’s not always easy when you’re young—to know what that is—but with experience comes wisdom, and in time all the puzzle pieces slide into place. Eventually, you know what you are meant for, and you can see clearly what will give your life meaning.
My life is no longer a puzzle. I understand my purpose and my joys.
Do you understand yours?
What a blessing life is. If you don’t believe it, get up and watch the sunrise tomorrow or take time to gaze up at the stars. Listen to the restful sound of a mourning dove in the quiet woods, or the wind whispering through the leaves above you.
Contemplate all that you are grateful for, and never give up on your dreams. Most importantly, give your whole heart to all that you love in this life.
Dear Reader,
Thank you for taking the time to read this book, the sixth installment in my Color of Heaven series. I hope you enjoyed Carla and Aaron’s story.
At the time this novel is being published, I am happily at work on book seven, THE COLOR OF THE SEASON, which opens with Carla putting an end to her relationship with Josh. The story then follows the strange and unlikely events in his life from that day forward. It will be released on November 11, 2014. If you would like to have it delivered to you on release day, you can pre-order it now.
If this is your first time reading a novel from this series and you enjoyed it, I encourage you to start at the beginning and read the other books in order. (Read on for a complete list of the titles.) There are many recurring characters, and the theme of this book is a constant thread throughout: that real life magic exists and touches us all, and though life is sometimes difficult, there is always a light somewhere ahead of us, or a second wind on the horizon that might turn things around.
If you’re interested in learning more about some of the plot elements in this novel, I invite you to visit my website book page and click on THE COLOR OF LOVE. I provide a “Behind the Book” section devoted to my research and inspirations.
And would you like to know when my next book is available? If so, please sign up for my mailing list on my website home page so I can keep you informed about upcoming releases. My subscribers are always first to learn about what’s coming next, and they are first to see new cover art which I reveal in my newsletters, delivered straight to their email inboxes. I also offer an autographed print book from my extensive backlist to one lucky entrant each month on my website contest page.
You can also like my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter at @JulianneMacLean.
Thank you again for taking the time to read THE COLOR OF LOVE, and if you enjoyed it, I hope you’ll leave a review at your favorite online retailer or book lovers’ website to help others discover this novel.
Read on for a Book Club Discussion Guide, and as always…
Happy Reading!
Julianne
Questions for Discussion
1. In the first half of the novel, Carla and Aaron have not met. Do you believe that they were connected somehow? Discuss ideas and references that support your opinion.
2. How did you feel about Seth during his time as the protagonist of the novel? Was he likeable? Did you perceive him as heroic? Why or why not?
3. Do you believe Carla made a mistake when she married Seth? Why or why not?
4. In chapter forty-three when Carla believes Seth is alive, she asks: “Is it my duty to stay with him?” If it truly had been Seth who was found on the iceberg, what do you believe would have been the right thing for her to do?
5. Compare and contrast the differences between Carla’s relationship with Aaron, both before and after meeting him in the hospital, and her relationship with Josh.
6. Do you believe Carla was right or wrong about putting her wedding ring back on before flying to Newfoundland to visit Seth? What would you have done in those circumstances?
7. How do you feel about the novel’s conclusion? Was it realistic that Carla would be so ready to leave Josh behind after spending only a few days with Aaron? Would you have preferred to see it play out differently? How?
The Color of Heaven Novels are also available as audiobooks.
Other Books in the Color of Heaven Series
THE COLOR OF HEAVEN
A deeply emotional tale about Sophie Duncan, a successful columnist whose world falls apart after her daughter’s unexpected illness and her husband’s shocking affair. When it seems nothing else could possibly go wrong, her car skids off an icy road and plunges into a frozen lake. There, in the cold dark depths of the water, a profound and extraordinary experience unlocks the surprising secrets from Sophie’s past, and teaches her what it means to truly live…and love.
Full of surprising twists and turns and a near-death experience that will leave you breathless, this story is not to be missed.
“A gripping, emotional tale you’ll want to read in one sitting.”
—New York Times bestselling author, Julia London
“Brilliantly poignant mainstream tale.”
—4 ½ starred review, Romantic Times
Includes Bonus Content: A Bookclub Discussion Guide
Purchase THE COLOR OF HEAVEN
THE COLOR OF DESTINY
Eighteen years ago a teenage pregnancy changed Kate Worthington’s life forever. Faced with many difficult decisions, she chose to follow her heart and embrace an uncertain future with the father of her baby—her devoted first love.
At the same time, in another part of the world, sixteen-year-old Ryan Hamilton makes his own share of mistakes, but learns important lessons along the way. Twenty years later, Kate’s and Ryan’s paths cross in a way they could never expect, which makes them question the possibility of destiny. Even when all seems hopeless, could it be that everything happens for a reason, and we end up exactly where we are meant to be?
Includes Bonus Content: A Bookclub Discussion Guide
Purchase THE COLOR OF DESTINY
THE COLOR OF HOPE
Diana Moore has led a charmed life. She is the daughter of a wealthy senator and lives a glamorous city life, confident that her handsome live-in boyfriend Rick is about to propose. But everything is turned upside down when she learns of a mysterious woman who works nearby—a woman who is her identical mirror image.
Diana is compelled to discover the truth about this woman’s identity, but the truth leads her down a path of secrets, betrayals, and shocking discoveries about her past. These discoveries follow her like a shadow.
Then she meets Dr. Jacob Peterson—a brilliant cardiac surgeon with an uncanny ability to heal those who are broken. With his help, Diana embarks upon a journey to restore her belief in the human spirit, and recover a sense of hope—that happiness, and love, may still be within reach for those willing to believe in second chances.
Includes Bonus Content: A Bookclub Discussion Guide
Purchase THE COLOR OF HOPE
THE COLOR OF A DREAM
Nadia Carmichael has had a lifelong run of bad luck. It begins on the day she is born, when she
is separated from her identical twin sister and put up for adoption. Twenty-seven years later, not long after she is finally reunited with her twin and is expecting her first child, Nadia falls victim to a mysterious virus and requires a heart transplant.
Now recovering from the surgery with a new heart, Nadia is haunted by a recurring dream that sets her on a path to discover the identity of her donor. Her efforts are thwarted, however, when the father of her baby returns to sue for custody of their child. It’s not until Nadia learns of his estranged brother Jesse that she begins to explore the true nature of her dreams, and discover what her new heart truly needs and desires…
Purchase THE COLOR OF A DREAM
THE COLOR OF A MEMORY
Audrey Fitzgerald believed she was married to the perfect man—a heroic firefighter who saved lives, even beyond his own death. But a year later she meets a mysterious woman who has some unexplained connection to her husband…
Soon Audrey discovers that her husband was keeping secrets and she is compelled to dig into his past. Little does she know…this journey of self-discovery will lead her down a path to a new and different future—a future she never could have imagined.
The Color of Love (The Color of Heaven Series) Page 19
